A/N- I know, I know, my updating sucks! As a reward for your patience, here is another chapter. And you'll be pleased to note that it is rather long! 26 pages in Word! (I must warn you that there are a fair few flashbacks, but I suggest you read every word, as some scenes are new, and others have been edited, so that you get Sev's perspective!) PLEASE enjoy, and review at the end.
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Severus opened the box cautiously, his need to understand the situation overpowering his self-righteous anger. Inside he found a small stone bowl, filled with a familiar shimmering liquid, nestled beside a wad of parchment.
A homemade pensieve, the Slytherin thought to himself, offhandedly. Interesting...
He could see the memories floating beneath the surface, and, despite his rage at the boy, couldn't help but be impressed. Potter would have brewed the required potions himself, with limited materials, and that, in itself, was a daunting task.
Scowling, he reminded himself that Harry had lied to him, and was not worthy of praise...
His gaze shifted to the parchment. It was, not surprisingly, labelled in the Gryffindor's messy scrawl.
With a sigh, Severus reached for the letter -for it could not be mistaken to be anything else- and began to read.
"Severus," It began, "If you're reading this, you're a better man than anyone has ever given you credit for."
He rolled his eyes. The boy would, it seemed, forever rely on melodramatics.
"I'm so sorry that I've kept our child from you. By the time you read this, we probably know if it's a girl or boy...but, as I sit here, only metres from your room, I'm still unsure...Not that it matters, really...
I've been lying to you. I feel worse and worse with each passing day. Not for myself, either, which probably comes as a surprise to you, but for you and our child. I've gone and hurt you both...and have probably ruined both your lives in the process...
But this is no time to dwell on myself...
You've noticed the pensieve. In it I've placed my memories that relate to the conception of your child. And, yes, I know you never touched me...
This is the easiest way I can explain things to you...Without Veritaserum or Legilimancey, if that's even how it's spelt. (Severus sneered; it wasn't.)
What I've done...It's unforgivable...And illegal...But, no matter what you might think of me after this, I beg you not to hold it against your child.
Please, delve into the pensieve...There is another piece of parchment waiting for you, once you've finished.
I can only apologise so much, Sir. I don't expect your forgiveness; something I've told you numerous times already."
The letter stopped short, and Snape couldn't help noticing odd marks and smudges over the parchment; undeniable evidence of numerous shed tears.
Feeling slightly uneasy, even more so after the mention of illegal behaviour on Potter's behalf, he reached for the crudely built pensieve. Extracting his wand, he braced himself before dipping the tip into the shimmering substance, and falling into Potter's memories.
He came to land in his Potions classroom, and, sending a fleeting glance towards his memory image, scanned the room for Potter.
He found him with ease, sitting at his desk, covertly covering his nether-regions. He had yet to retrieve any ingredients.
Ah... He remembered this day. However, he'd never known what was keeping the brat at bay. But now, now that he looked closer, he could sense the boy's...dilemma.
And then his mirror-image snapped.
He winced, feeling slightly sympathetic towards the brat's plight, before remembering that he was, in reality, incredibly angry with him.
The scene around him changed, and he found himself in unfamiliar territory. The Gryffindor Common room.
There were children seated all around the room, babbling about one thing or another. He sought out the Golden Trio.
The know-it-all was in the middle of admonishing the Boy Who Lived.
"-then take your time when he asked, rather nicely for Professor Snape actually, for you to get a move on-"
Harry snapped. "Because had I stood up and walked across the room, I would have been the laughing stock of the school!" He paused for a second, before adding; "Again!"
"Oh? Why this time, then?"
"Because, if you must know, I was trying hard not to explode in my trousers because Professor Snape was just so bloody shagable today!"
Attempting to catch his breath after his outburst, Harry's face drained of its colour, and he glanced around at his horrified peers. With a moan, the Boy Who Lived dropped his head into his hands.
The scene changed again. This time he found himself in a room that closely resembled the last, only it was much smaller, and contained only Potter and his two lackeys, who were doing their best to console the boy.
"He is rather enigmatic…and has a tall, dark, mysterious charm about him…and, now that he takes more care with his personal appearance, he really is rather stunning, in a classical beauty sort of way…."
Severus was surprised at Granger's kind words, though he felt as though he shouldn't be intruding on such an intimate moment between the tight-knit group. However, it was important to Harry...Potter that he did.
"The way you're talking right now makes me wonder if you might have a crush on the bat." Ron snorted.
Hermione glowered at him. "That is far from funny, Ron. Keep this up, and I'll have the room kick you out."
His eyes widened in horror. "You can do that?"
She shrugged. "Most probably."
"So, you don't think it's wrong, and twisted and disturbing?" Harry cut in.
Despite himself, Snape felt a pang of...was that hurt? Dear Merlin! He refused to acknowledge what that might mean.
"Well, I do-" Ron began to reply, before having another chocolate chip biscuit thrust into his mouth. He glared at Hermione as he chewed, and swallowed. "What?" He snapped at her. She gestured towards their other friend, who sat with his head hung in shame and self-pity.
He sighed, "Mate, it's not that I find you twisted and all that…I'm just…I don't know if I'll ever be okay with the thought of two men together, you know? Especially not my best mate and my greasy, evil git of a Potions professor."
Harry nodded. "Even though Bill is that way inclined as well?"
"Even though Bill is-" Weasley froze. "Harry, how in Merlin's name did you know that?"
Harry grinned, (Severus told himself that he was not jealous.) causing Ron to groan. "On second thoughts, I don't want to know."
The Boy Who Lived burst into laughter, easing the tension between himself and his two best friends further. "Nah, it's all good. George kind of let it slip last time I saw him. You know, when I 'officially' told your family."
"Oh, right." The youngest Weasley male said, taking a deep breath in relief.
Potter smirked and waited another second before adding; "He's not a bad kisser, though, your brother."
Severus glowered. Bill Weasley would die if he even looked at Harry the wrong way again.
And, as he thought it, Snape damn near had a conniption.
He was not jealous.
All the colour drained from the red-head's face, and he hastily set his biscuit aside. "I think I'm going to be sick…"
Hermione rolled her eyes in the Weasley boy's direction, before looking back at the other. "But, in all seriousness Harry," she began, taking his hand in hers, "I know that you can't help who you fall for. Nobody can. There's absolutely nothing wrong with having feelings for Professor Snape." She paused, as if to consider the truth of her statement, then amended; "Apart from him being your Professor, that is."
Harry chuckled, and accepted her placations. "Thank you."
Again, the world was spinning around the Slytherin's feet, though, as the scene changed, he could have sworn he saw Draco Malfoy lurking in the shadows, unbeknownst to the Golden Child and his friends.
When he landed next, he found himself in the corridor outside his classroom, watching Potter and Malfoy bicker.
"Let's just say that I heard you had a thing for my Head of House…" Draco spoke in a drawl, picking an imaginary piece of lint from his robe.
The Boy Who Lived laughed. "And this is NEW information? Honestly, THAT rumour has been going around for DAYS now, Malfoy. And you believed that rubbish?"
The blonde shook his head, and took a step forward. "No. But I believe what I heard in the Room of Requirement the other night."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Harry," The other boy smirked dangerously, "Don't give me that rot. I was there. I heard everything." At the look on his rival's face, he added, "Your father was not the only wizard to ever own an invisibility cloak."
"You were spying on me…on us."
"I hadn't originally intended on it."
"But you were!"
The Slytherin shrugged. "I had nothing better to do and, as it appeared we were headed towards the same place, I took advantage of the situation."
"So what now? Come to gloat?" Harry asked, a grin slowly making its way onto his lips. "You do realise I'm not ashamed of it now, right? Even if he were to know-"
"He does."
"What?" The Gryffindor froze, "I…bugger."
Draco chuckled softly, his tone remarkably free of malice. "Exactly." He lost his smirk, and for a minute reminded Harry of an actual human being. "Unfortunately for you, Severus was less than impressed."
Severus felt a stab of guilt at the pained look on Harry's...Potter's face. Damn it. And damn Malfoy, too.
"Oh." Potter said, sounding somewhere between dejected and incredibly hurt. "Well," He started again, as if he didn't have a care in the world. "Was bound to be like that, wasn't it? Just a schoolboy crush anyway. Nothing serious." He paused a moment, then sneered, "The greasy git should have been flattered."
Potter was only acting out of pain, Snape told himself. He didn't mean it...Not that it bothered him, of course.
No, not at all.
He cleared his throat and watched as Draco laughed.The laughter was friendly. He frowned.
"He's not so greasy anymore, Potter."
The words also lacked spite.
Harry (like Severus) was taken aback. "Mal…er…Draco…" He started, cautiously. "Are you feeling alright? I mean, it's just that… you're being rather…nice…to me. And it's really alarming."
"Am I?" At Harry's affirmative nod, Malfoy scowled. "Ah…sod it."
The Gryffindor observed the blonde for another moment. "Alright." He finally began, extending his hand. "Whatever it is you've gotten your ferret-paws onto this time, I want some."
With a sigh, the blonde reached into his robes and extracted a half-empty phial labelled in Snape's concise handwriting. Numbing Draught. Harry furrowed his brow, clearly perplexed.
Severus' scowl deepened. So that was where his supplies had vanished to!
"Why'd you take this?" The raven-haired boy asked after a moment, eyeing his rival wearily.
Draco shrugged, becoming even more complacent. "Felt like it."
"Well you won't be feeling much else for at least another hour…" Harry muttered (surprising Severus momentarily with his understanding of the potion's effects), then sighed, "Come on, we'd best get you somewhere less…public. Wouldn't want you blaming me if someone saw us being civil."
At that, Harry led the way up and out of the dungeons and towards the Room of Requirement.
Severus could only follow. He watched Potter pace.
The door soon appeared, and the two boys entered to find a miniature version of the Great Hall set up for them.
"Come on then," the Gryffindor urged, "Sit down and eat up, it should help dilute, or at least soak up, the potion in your bloodstream."
Nodding, the blond Slytherin complied, and slowly worked his way back into small insults to Harry's intelligence and so forth. "Okay, Malfoy." The Boy Who Lived finally said, setting his plate aside, "You sought me out after class, so spill it. What do you want? If this is about Snape-"
"Potter, shut up." Draco snapped, pushing his own plate away. "I didn't want to gloat about Snape."
Well that was surprising.
"Oh?" Harry's interest (again, much like Severus') was piqued. "Alright then, what else could you have wanted-"
Snape watched in horror as Malfoy cut Potter off with a kiss. It lasted a few moments before Potter's surprise wore off.
"What are you playing at, Malfoy?" He hissed, leaping from his seat. "One second you hate me, the next you're shoving your tongue down my throat-"
"That," Draco responded, his trademark smirk back in action, "doesn't mean that I don't still hate you, Potter." He eyed Harry in the most predatory fashion he could muster, "One can hate someone, and still want to shove them over a desk and have their way with them."
The Gryffindor glowered. "And yet, I've never looked at you like that before!"
"But you want to fuck Snape. Or, from what I heard the other night, you want him to fuck you."
"I-" Harry stopped himself. Malfoy had a point. He scowled. "That still has nothing to do with you."
"No, I suppose it doesn't. However," the blond grinned, "I believe I have a solution to both our problems…"
Despite the protests of his inner voice, (and real-time Snape's rather vocal protestations) Harry cocked his head to the side. "I'm listening."
Severus listened, mortified, as Malfoy relayed his plan. Then a sudden chill swept over him. Harry had, of course, gone through with it...which meant that...Merlin, he didn't even want to think it...That Malfoy had sired his daughter.
He felt ill.
But that still didn't explain how it had been at all possible. The Polyjuice alone wouldn't be strong enough...Unless...Oh, Merlin!
As the room spun away, and a new memory formed, Severus was overcome with a sickening sense of dread. He had a feeling that all his questions were about to be answered.
Harry had once again appeared. Draco stood beside him. They were, once again, outside the Room of Requirement.
Potter turned the knob, and took a step into the room, which now resembled the Potions classroom, just as the two boys had agreed in their plotting. He turned back around to face his rival. "Alright, you said something about modifications?"
The Slytherin slipped out of his invisibility cloak, and withdrew a couple of phials from his robes. (Severus' frown darkened, knowing precisely where they -and the ingredients contained in each- had come from.)"This," he began, gesturing to the murky green liquid, "Is the completed Polyjuice as we all know it. This-" he placed a pale blue liquid down on the desk in front of him, "Is an advancing serum. It should, if taken exactly twenty seconds after the Polyjuice, advance the effects, and extend the duration of the first potion."
"Okay…" Harry nodded, looking down at the two phials, "And that means?"
The Prince of Slytherin moaned. "Don't you listen to Snape at all, Potter?"
The raven-haired boy blushed. "I get a bit…distracted, actually."
With another groan, Draco shook his head. "Fine. Whatever. Anyway, in answer to your incredibly stupid question, it basically means that not only will the taker -in this situation; me- look like Snape for an hour, they will also attain his voice and perhaps -depending on the strength of the serum- some more technical details too, such as elements of personality." He paused, "The usual length of the potion is about one hour as well, is it not?" Harry nodded, and the blonde continued. "Right, well, with the advancing serum, it will also last longer. Again, how long really depends on the strength of the serum. Considering the fact that I stole this one from Snape's personal stores, I think it's safe to assume the potion is relatively potent."
Oh, no. Oh, dear Merlin, no! Snape no longer wanted to know. He wanted to leave. But he couldn't. He was stuck, glued to the spot, about to witness the conception of his daughter...
It was sick! Sick, twisted and it frightened the life out of him.
"Alright…" Harry fidgeted, "We're really going to go through with this, aren't we?" Draco nodded, and he sighed. "You're sure there aren't going to be any side-effects from using the potion? I don't want to have to take you to Pomfrey looking like Snape if you pass out or something."
"Of course I'm sure." The other boy growled in response. "Do you really think I'd be doing something if I thought I might suffer from it?"
"Well, no…"
"Good."
The Boy Who Lived (and Severus) watched in silence as Draco uncorked the green phial, and swallowed the contents, then waited precisely twenty seconds to drink the blue. Within moments, the Prince of Slytherin was no longer standing in front of him, but rather the Head of the House himself.
Snape watched himself appear. He was on the verge of screaming.
He watched as he inspected his own form.
He watched as Harry ogled.
He watched as he laughed.
And, worst of all, watched himself catching his effect on the boy.
"Worked that well, did it?" He heard himself purr. "Go on, then, give me the once over."
Hesitantly at first, The Boy Who Lived raised a hand and placed it on the impostor Snape's chest.
Severus watched as his doppelganger twitched in anticipation at the contact.
Harry smiled to himself, and unbuttoned the tight shirt, anxious to see the pale skin underneath. He was not disappointed.
"My My, Professor…" He said quietly, more so to himself than to Malfoy, "What do you get up to in your spare time?" The Gryffindor was clearly pleased and mildly surprised.
"Hurry it up, Potter." The other man murmured, leaning into the contact. "Despite the extended duration of the potion's effects, I might not be able to hold out for as long."
Severus felt his chest constrict. He was in agony. It was awful to see himself acting in that manner...Whether it was actually him or an impostor made no difference. It was still him, physically. And what he saw himself doing...It was disturbing.
Harry chuckled. "Oh, shut it Malfoy," he replied, slowly inspecting Severus Snape's lower torso, and the dip of his tight trousers. "You can wait a few minutes…"
"I bloody well can not!" One of Snape's hands came down on Harry's wrist, and pushed his hand onto the evidence that Draco was having a hard time controlling his -or were they Severus'?- instincts. "See?" He hissed.
Harry swallowed. "Not yet, but I can't wait to." He shot back, attempting to undo the belt buckle and then zipper of Draco's pants.
Another laugh escaped the other man's lips, and it went straight to Harry's groin. "Merlin, Draco…" He gasped, "Do you have any idea what that does to me? Snape has to laugh more often."
Another chuckle. Harry moaned, slowly losing control of himself. He struggled to remove Draco's trousers, which were clinging to nicely muscled, long, pale legs. Not a moment too soon, the task was complete, and the Slytherin kicked free of the offending clothing, now standing in front of the Gryffindor in nothing but a pair of black, satin boxers.
"Right then," Snape watched himself say. "Your turn."
The next few moments allowed Harry to live out one of his fantasies; Professor Snape was undressing him in the middle of the potions classroom, with the intention to bend him over his desk and give him the shagging of a lifetime. Again, Harry's erection jumped in anticipation.
Another wry grin from the Potions Master's clone. "Eager are we, Harry?"
The Boy Who Lived almost melted. "Mmm…" he responded, sounding somewhere between pleading and complete ecstasy.
Severus could only watch as he proceeded to kiss the younger man. He felt powerless as they moved closer to his replica desk. He was ashamed to see himself sheathed inside the Gryffindor. Angry when he began to push, and ill when he came, crying out in a display of raw passion.
But, to make matters worse, he was hard after watching the entire thing.
He disgusted himself.
The memory went black around him, until he watched Harry awake in the morning. The boy smiled to himself, before placing his hand on his half-hardened member and working himself to completion, the name 'Severus' dying on his lips as he ejaculated.
Snape's own cock twitched as he watched, and he closed his eyes, feeling dirty and ashamed.
He shouldn't feel this way about a student. Especially when said student was Harry Potter.
It was, for lack of another word, wrong.
The next few memories showcased the initial symptoms of pregnancy, and eventually culminated into Potter's awakening in the hospital wing.
Snape watched as Harry was informed of his condition. Then sighed when the boy fainted, having discovered the true father of his child.
The memory continued on after he'd been revived, and Snape witnessed Poppy's stern words, along with her insistence that he come clean immediately.
Then the room swirled, and he found himself standing outside the door to his own office. Harry was pacing in front of him, mumbling to himself. Severus did not need to hear him to know what bothered him so.
There came a guttural growl from beyond the door, causing both he and the pacing boy to jump.
Then he watched as Harry gathered his courage and tapped on the door.
"Enter." He heard himself snap through the heavy oak.
He followed Potter inside, already aware of the conversation that would take place before his eyes.
"Potter," Memory-Severus hissed, arching his upper lip in distaste. "To what do I owe the displeasure of your company this evening?"
The Boy Who Lived frowned slightly, and looked towards the floor. "Sorry, Sir."
"You have yet to answer my question." Severus drawled, his tone dangerous.
Real-time Severus caught the boy's falter. Oh, if only he'd noticed earlier...But would it really made a difference? Or would he have dismissed it as nerves for the general situation?
He watched on, curious as to what else he might have missed the first time.
"I'm sure you noticed my absence from class this afternoon…"
"Quite. I received notice from Madame Pomfrey as to your whereabouts, thus you need not worry over the loss of house-points." He sneered, "Though if you do not leave my personal office within-"
"I'm pregnant."
Even now, after knowing of his condition for some time, the boy's abrupt statement caught him off guard. He watched his own eyes widen for an instant.
He quirked an eyebrow. "Indeed." He paused, "And how, exactly, does that concern me?"
He watched as Harry blushed, and shuffled his feet nervously. And now it all made more sense...
"I…well you see, sir…Madame Pomfrey thought it best that I tell you because-"
He was interrupted by a tall, blond, speeding Slytherin. "Professor Snape," Draco huffed, racing past the Gryffindor, not even noticing his existence. "There's been a-" suddenly he came to the realisation that he and the Potions Master were not alone. "Potter?"
Severus scowled as the scene continued. Would Harry -Damn It!- Potter have told the truth? It looked as though he was about to. Snape sighed. How would he have reacted to the news back then? Not as well as he actually had, that was certain.
He found himself being pulled from the room after the Golden Boy, who, once alone, punched the nearest wall, tears trickling down his cheeks.
"Why?" The boy cried, this time hurling a kick at the stones. "Why am I such a screw-up?"
The castle, Severus found, would not answer.
Again the memories moved on.
Severus watched as Harry broke the news to his friends. Granger, as he might have predicted, was livid.
"Don't you ever think of possible consequences!"
"Oh, of course." The green-eyed boy spat sarcastically, "Because I should have known that I'm a complete freak of nature." He sneered. "Honestly, Hermione, I'm a boy. How was I supposed to know that there was a possibility that being shagged would result in me getting preggers?"
So he had a point...But did that really make a difference to Severus? After all, Potter had willingly partaken in an illegal activity, and, though it hadn't been his idea, he had known it was wrong...And, yes, he regretted it, but for what reasons? For the illegal child he carried? Or for the wrong he'd done by invading Severus' privacy? Or, perhaps, both?
By this stage, Weasley was speaking.
"Look, you made a mistake. We, all three of us," here he looked pointedly at Hermione, "are known for it. And the last thing you're going to need right now is having us make you feel worse." He shot their female companion another look, and she blushed sheepishly, ducking her head to acknowledge the reprimand. The boy continued. "This…thing…it's going to take some getting used to, but we're best mates, and 'Mione and I will be here for you. We've been through worse together. And, just think-" he grinned, "- Your kid will be the first of a new generation of Mauraders; think of the irony. Snape's own kid working against him…"
Here, Severus glowered, and watched for Potter's enthusiastic response.
It never came.
Instead, the boy frowned, and put a tentative hand on his abdomen, where their child -their daughter- resided.
"I don't…I don't want to turn it against him…I mean, it is his, after all." Harry sighed, and dropped his head into his hands. "How am I going to tell him? I have until the beginning of 7th year…but M'me Pomfrey wanted me to tell him today and I just…I couldn't. He's going to kill me."
Hermione moved to his side and rubbed reassuring circles on his back. "Not if he wants to keep his child." She said, wincing once the words left her lips. Harry looked up at her, arching an eyebrow questioningly. "I didn't mean…" She sighed. "Professor Snape won't kill you, Harry. But I daresay he will be a little…upset with you and Malfoy…"
And that, Snape decided, was an understatement.
Another familiar memory came into view.
"Sir, with all due respect…he and I despise each other!"
"Really, Mr Potter? I was under the impression that the feeling was not quite mutual, on your behalf." He was now within Harry's eyesight, and smirking wickedly. "Unless the rumours, which you never fought to deny, were untrue…"
The Gryffindor blushed and sneered at the older man. "Momentary lapse in my sanity, Sir. Believe me when I say that I've long since recovered from that error in my judgement."
Severus' smirk never faltered, and he pointedly glanced at Harry's taut abdomen. "Indeed."
This time, he noticed the pain and guilt in Potter's eyes. Again, would he have suspected the truth if he'd noticed this the first time around? Most likely not.
Harry was soon dismissed
Accepting the dismissal, Harry thanked Dumbledore, nodded coldly in Snape's direction, and then made his way back down the stairs.
"Hey, Potter!"
The Gryffindor stopped short in the corridor and turned slowly to face the owner of the voice. "Malfoy," he sighed. "What do you want?"
"A good luck kiss for the game tonight?" The blond grinned wickedly, "After all, you'll need it this time."
Snape scowled. How dare Malfoy be so arrogant as to think that Harry would sacrifice his pride any more than he already had.
And, no, Severus Snape was not jealous.
Though, he conceded, he might have grown just a tad protective of the young man carrying his daughter, even though he wasn't currently pleased with the Gryffindor in question.
He felt his compassion rise as tears formed in Harry's eyes, and it struck him that Potter had sacrificed a lot in order to keep their child, when he could have easily been selfish enough to abort her.
"Not a chance. Besides, I'm not playing tonight."
Draco's eyebrows knitted together in confusion and genuine concern. "What? Why?"
"Potter," the Slytherin prompted when the other boy remained silent. "Harry," he tried again in desperation, "Why are you throwing away your chance at the Cup? I mean, if you're not playing, it's not even worth Slytherin getting out there and trying."
"Was that a compliment, Malfoy?" Harry half-smiled.
Draco smirked, "Don't get used to it, Potter." There was a brief span of silence before he asked once more. "But, honestly, why-"
"Pomfrey would kill me if I got on a broom now."
"And why is that?" The blonde narrowed his eyes dangerously. "Surely the Flu-"
Harry's shoulders sagged in defeat. He was sick of lying. "-I don't have the Flu, Draco."
"Oh?"
"Listen…the walls have ears here…let's walk…"
The strange pair made their way down the corridors in silence, before exiting the building altogether.
Severus was forced to follow. When they were sitting by the lake, he realised, with a jolt, that he was about to hear the conversation he had witnessed from Dumbledore's window. The one that had piqued his original suspicions of the two. Oh, if only he'd read their lips! If only…But, really, what was the point in dwelling? The damage had already been done.
He sighed, and continued to observe.
"Alright, Harry," Draco finally spoke, leaning back against a tree trunk. "You were saying?"
The Boy Who Lived stared out across the water. "I'm…shite this is hard…promise me you won't go telling the entire school?" He turned pleading eyes onto his former rival. The blonde was clearly taken aback by the vulnerability the other young man was displaying and nodded, waiting upon the explanation. Harry swallowed, and turned back to watch the Giant Squid. "I…well…apparently, I'm going to be a father."
"But…You're gay, Potter." Draco said slowly, "And how does you getting on a broom effect the fact that you put your bun in some chit's oven?"
"Um, maybe I should have phrased that better…See," Harry sat down beside the other boy, and fiddled with a few tufts of grass, "I…um…I'm going to be a father…in the sense that I'm going to be a mother." The blonde looked even more puzzled. Harry sighed. "I'm pregnant, Draco."
"You're…" What little colour was left on the pale boy's face disappeared. "Oh, Merlin…Did I…is it mine?"
Harry winced. "Yes, you did… but, on the same token, no, it's not."
A bit of the old Draco was back in an instant. "What the bloody hell are you on about? How could I have gotten you up the duff and then have it not be mine?"
The Gryffindor sighed, "Remember the advancing serum? Apparently it was really strong. You were all Snape. Right down to your…erm…little swimmers."
Draco was stunned. "Fuck."
"That's pretty much where this started."
"Don't get smart with me, Potter."
"If I had been smart with you, Malfoy, I wouldn't have agreed to your stupid plan in the first place."
"I didn't hear you complaining during the act."
Harry blushed, and still attempted to scowl. "And yet, I'm complaining now."
"It's a bit too late for that."
"Don't you think I know it is!"
The Boy who lived slumped back against the tree, and ran his hand through his hair, clearly distressed. "He's going to kill us both, you know. And I don't know how to tell him. I mean, I have to spend all summer at his Manor, with him…I'm completely screwed."
Draco smirked. "I do believe you said it before, but allow me to reiterate. That's where this started."
"Oh, shut up."
Though he was angry with the boy, he couldn't help but empathise with Harry's plight. Truly, Potter hadn't meant to hurt anyone with his actions. In fact, if he were to be completely honest with himself, Severus was a little flattered that a young, attractive man like Potter had wanted him so desperately that he'd gone along with Malfoy's plan to begin with.
The memory faded. Then Hermione was in front of him, lecturing Harry about his behaviour.
Severus watched as the boy's face darkened with each of her tonal inflections. He was reaching breaking point. Then, once the girl had finished her tirade, Potter's began.
"I know," he said, his tone somewhat cold. "I'm the one who fucked up; figuratively and literally. And I've got enough to remind me about it every single day, without listening to you remind me time and time again in that holier-than-thou way of yours."
The bushy haired girl was tearing up, but the boy didn't look as if he were about to stop...
"You know all the answers to everything, don't you?" He continued, sounding incredibly snide. "But, really, you don't. You don't have the faintest clue about how I feel. How I've ever felt. You don't know what I've had to endure-" she moved to protest and he held up his hand to silence the attempt. "No. For once you will listen and I will talk."
She clamped her mouth shut, and he kept going, becoming more passionate with every word he spoke.
"You don't know what it's like to grow up in an abusive household, see freedom and then have to go back every year whilst other kids get to spend their hols with loving, caring people. And you really don't know what it's like to continuously lose the people you love over and over again. You don't know…" he took a breath, as if considering the rest of his rant, "anything of any importance, really. All books and facts, you are. Nothing substantial. Nothing real."
She was crying now, and Harry didn't look as though he were about to repent.
"Well," she managed to choke, rubbing furiously at her eyes, "Now that's settled…I know at least one thing of practical value," she spat the words, and her eyes -now devoid of tears- flashed with anger and pain, "I know to stay out of your business from now on. You'll not have to worry about my meddling in things I don't understand anymore."
And, on that note, she turned swiftly on her heel and clambered into the nearest thestral-drawn carriage.
Harry, still recovering from the release of so much pent up emotion, watched her leave, a single tear escaping from the corner of his eye.
Severus watched Harry's face as the carriages pulled away.
The boy was the epitome of miserable. A myriad of emotions played across his face. Anger, remorse, sorrow, self-pity…It made Snape's heart clench painfully.
Then the young wizard's knees buckled and he fell to the ground, howling. He cried to all the gods above, beseeched whoever was listening to make the carriages come back, begged them to 'make it all go away', pleaded for someone -'anyone'- to take his child; clearly afraid that he'd inflict pain on her as well. He called out for the earth to open up and swallow him whole. And then, when his throat was raw from screaming, and he could hold himself up no longer, he huddled into a ball, sobbing pathetically.
Moments later, Snape saw himself appear.
"Potter! Cease your snivelling this instant! Did it ever occur, in that thick scull of yours, that the headmaster set an appointment for a reason?"
"I'm sorry, Sir. It wasn't my in-" he hiccoughed, "-tention to be a b…b…burden…" He closed his eyes, and allowed a tear to trickle down his face. Reining in his emotions, he shook his head sadly. "It's all I've ever been, I know…"
"I demand you stop your selfish wallowing. There is no point to this disgraceful and painfully humiliating display."
Harry attempted to control the sobs that were once again causing his entire body to shake, and forced himself to look at the Potions Master. "I'm so sorry," he managed to breathe, before another bout of tears escaped, "I'm so sorry…"
And now Severus understood. He could place the burden comment into its intended context. He knew why Harry was so sorry that day.
Why he had always been sorry.
And, despite his initial rage at the situation, he longed to hold the boy in his arms and tell him that it wasn't his fault. He wasn't to know, when he'd started his tryst with Malfoy, that it would result in a child. He was no more at fault for their child's conception than he, Severus Snape, himself.
Well, perhaps that was a slight understatement, as Potter had physically participated…But harming his Potions Professor, or the man's image, had not been on his agenda.
Fucking his brains out, on the other hand...
"I've seen enough." The Head of Slytherin said, breaking the charm, pulling himself into reality.
Potter's memories combined with his own, and they swirled around in his thoughts, spinning his emotions like cotton candy, until he felt light-headed and sick.
Through all his confusion, and all his conflicting thoughts, there were only two things that remained constant.
The first was that Harry Potter was pregnant with his daughter.
The second, and worst, was that he cared deeply for the young man. In fact, if he were to be honest with himself, he even loved him.
And they made for a dangerous combination.
Shaking his head sadly, he reached for the remaining scroll of parchment.
-?-
Harry lay on his bed, his thoughts spinning out of control.
Had Severus looked at the pensieve, or had he been too inconsolably angry to give Harry's explanation a chance?
And, if he had looked into the bowl of memories, what had he thought? Certainly, he wouldn't be too pleased…but would he hate Harry? Would he refuse to acknowledge their daughter, because he hadn't physically partaken in her conception?
A rogue tear rolled down his face, and he swiped at it angrily. He had no right to wallow. He deserved Severus' scorn.
But their daughter didn't.
At the foot of his bed, Snake stirred.
"Your mate approachessssss."
Harry swallowed, and looked to the door, just as Severus entered. He carried the pensieve with him.
The raven-haired boy remained silent, waiting for the tongue-lashing of his lifetime. It never came. He swallowed and forced himself to meet Snape's gaze.
Naturally, the eyes were emotionless.
"Firstly, I appreciated the irony of the pensieve." The older wizard spoke quietly, his tone betraying nothing. No anger. No sadness. Nothing.
Harry proffered a weak smile at the reference to his fifth year. "I didn't mean for it…" He fell silent.
Severus carefully placed the pensieve on the desk, before turning back to the younger wizard.
"Secondly, I believe there are a few important issues that must be addressed."
Harry swallowed again, and nodded.
Snape sighed.
"Potter…" He began softly, before changing his mind. He sat down on the bed beside his charge. "Harry."
The Gryffindor's eyes widened, but still he said nothing, afraid that he might trigger an unwanted -but not undeserved- negative reaction from the father of his child.
"You need to know that I do not despise you." When Severus spoke, he allowed his emotions to show themselves. "I am…disappointed, yes." Harry's eyes filled with tears, and he suddenly realised how his words sounded. He moved closer to the younger man. "In your behaviour," he added, tentatively placing a hand on the young wizard's abdomen. "Not in the result."
"You've every right to…" Harry froze, and glanced down at Snape's hand. "What?"
"Granted," The elder continued, not paying particular attention to the other's surprise, "I had always envisioned actually being involved my first child's conception…" He gave the boy one of his patented, almost invisible, smiles. "Though, in essence, I suppose I was. After all, my potions ingredients, phials and hair were used…"
Well, Harry supposed, that answered one of his questions. "Y-you w-want her?"
"Foolish boy, of course I want her." Again, the older wizard found himself sighing. "And, though I am…unimpressed in your reluctance to divulge the truth, I will not hold it against you as you feared." In fact, he could see why Harry had been so reluctant to tell him, after seeing himself in action. "Potter…Harry…I feel it is important for you to know that I have always wanted children of my own, however I had resigned myself to the notion that my chances of doing so had been and gone. And, if you'd have paid any attention to our conversations these holidays, you would have known that, having acquired your friendship, I would have treated your child as my own…"
Harry found that his mouth had gone dry. "I'm still sorry…"
"As you should be. Your actions were still illegal. I will not press charges, as you are carrying my child, and for that I will be eternally grateful…And, no matter how I try, I cannot maintain any anger towards you." He closed his eyes, "Simply put, Potter, you have wormed your way so deeply under my skin that I find myself inexplicably drawn to you, on more levels than I should possibly be allowed."
He waited for the admission to sink in. He knew Harry still wanted him. He'd seen it in his own pensieve, when reviewing his own memories of Harry's stay.
The one's he'd originally used to reflect on when he'd still regarded the boy's stay as a project, of sorts.
"You…you mean you…"
"Yes, Potter, I care for you. Deeply. More than a teacher should." He met the boy's -young man's- eyes. "You are carrying my child. That alone proves to me that you, too, understand how I feel." Harry's eyes glistened with tears, and shone with hope. "However, I will refuse to acknowledge any of these…instincts…until after you have graduated. It is safer for both of us."
Harry, for his part, couldn't believe what he was hearing.
Severus wanted him.
He cared for him.
Possibly even loved him.
The man was still speaking. "Personally, I need time…We need time…To rebuild our friendship, if one can call it that, without the deceit, and without the lies." He removed his hand from Harry's slightly rounded belly. There was silence, and he contemplated the consequences of what he had just done.
What he'd said...It was pathetic, really...He'd left himself vulnerable...To Potter, no less.
But he wanted the young man. He could hide it from himself no longer. He'd spent too many years alone, and here was a young, lithe, attractive man, who obviously wanted him...enough to break the law, and then face the consequences, rather than simply destroying the evidence...In fact, after what Potter had shown him, after what he'd written in his letters, and after their many conversations, it seemed, to Severus, that Harry was pleased to be carrying a part of his Potions Master, however unexpected and ill-timed it might be.
So, where did that leave them? He'd essentially promised himself to the younger wizard, once he'd graduated, of course. And he did want to spend as much time as possible with his daughter, both before and after her birth...
So it was essentially settled, then. He and Potter would most likely wind up as an item.
The thought was ludicrous, really. And not simply because they were polar opposites, either. But because of who they were. What they were.
And what others would think...
But the opinions of others had never truly bothered him before, so what did they matter now? Perhaps he really was getting softer as he aged, if he were truly worried about being viewed as a lecherous old man; but not just any old man...Oh, no; he'd be seen as the one who corrupted Dumbledore's Golden Child.
Not that he had, of course. But that was what the public would think once news of Harry's pregnancy -and, subsequently, the paternity of his child- reached the outside world.
A hand, smooth and tanned, landed on his shoulder, jolting him from his reverie.
He turned dark, questioning eyes towards the hand's owner, who subsequently blushed, and removed the offending appendage.
"Sorry," Emerald orbs focused on the bedspread. "You'd...drifted off...I...I wanted to ask...Well, what I mean to say is..."
"Oh, for Merlin's sake, out with it, boy."
Harry started, and swallowed. "Er...I wanted to thank you, actually...For not just hating me..." He trailed off, still not meeting the Slytherin's eye.
"I cannot 'hate' you, Potter, for reasons I have already stated." He struck the younger wizard with a steely gaze. "However, I am dissappointed in you, yes. And my trust has faltered. Nevertheless, you, and our daughter, will always be welcome in my home, no matter what my temperament." He waited a beat, mentally berating himself for the next words to leave his lips. "I truly care about you, Harry. In the span of only a few months, you have become one of the most important people in my life, and, I fear, that is a position in which you will forever remain. You and our daughter."
He smiled warmly, his words only just sinking into his own head.
A daughter. He was expecting a daughter.
A wave of awe seemed to flow over him, warming him to the very tips of his fingers and toes.
He hadn't really had time to process the truth until now. Yes, he'd believed and accepted it...but to truly process it, and understand the reality of the situation was a different thing altogether.
And, as the awe ebbed away, a new emotion took its place: Anxiety.
Would he be a competent father, or would he take after his own, and wind up being despised by his child? And what of Harry, who was still just a child himself? How would they, together, endeavour to raise another soul, and a female at that?
These were all issues that he and Potter would have to discuss, in time.
Not that they had very long left, really, until their daughter would make her entrance into the big, wide world.
Harry was already four months gone...and, when school resumed, he'd be over five months pregnant...And Poppy had warned them of the chances of a premature birth, due to the physical inabilities of the male form...
So, really, they did not have as much time to prepare as Severus would have liked.
But, shooting a glance towards the dumbstruck teenager, now was not the appropriate time to discuss such issues.
He rose to his feet, and nodded in the younger wizard's direction. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I believe it is best if I returned to my rooms. There is still much that I need to think about."
Harry nodded, unable to form a coherent sentence. He, too, had a lot to ponder, especially now that Severus had spoken to him...
Snape exited the room, a million and one thoughts clouding his mind.
-?-
Harry rose with the sun the next morning. It felt less like a birthday than any other he'd experienced. Perhaps it was a sign of growing up...But, considering the turmoil of the last few months, Harry guessed otherwise.
"Ah, Harry, you've risssssen."
The boy almost jumped out of his skin. This whole 'talking pet' thing would take a fair bit of getting used to.
"G'Morning Snake..." He mumbled, fumbling his way into the bathroom.
The damn thing followed him.
He frowned, feeling utterly uncomfortable. After all, it wasn't just any pet...it was intelligent...like a human, almost...and he really didn't want to relieve himself in front of it.
"Can I help you?" He asked the serpent, attempting to cover his frustration.
"I need ssssusssstenancsssse." It replied, the light from outside reflecting from its scales. "I musssst eat."
"Ah..."
What to do? What to do?
An idea hit him. He raced out of the bathroom and scrawled a quick note to Severus. He handed it to Snake.
"Give this to my mate," he instructed. "He'll be able to help."
As the creature slithered out of the room, parchment grasped in its fanged mouth, Harry sighed.
Sometimes he really missed Hedwig.
-?-
As the sunlight spilled into Snape's rooms, he frowned and burrowed further into his pillow.
He'd barely slept during the night, having been far too preoccupied with the previous day's revelations. And now, when he was finally on the verge of dozing off, the bloody sun had to rise and ruin everything! He'd never been able to sleep once the sun was up, not even when he'd been young.
With another 'harrumph' of frustration, he rolled over, so that his back was facing the open window, and shut his eyes.
Perhaps if he just imagined it was still dark…
Something brushed his leg, forcing his eyes to open in shock.
There was something in his bed. It was moving up underneath the covers, brushing against his skin every so often.
He wanted to throw back the covers, and expose the intruder, but reminded himself that there was a chance he'd be putting himself in more danger if he did so.
Keeping as still as possible, he waited for whatever it was to emerge.
Suddenly, he was looking into a pair of yellow eyes.
It took him a moment to realise that his new-found bed-fellow was none other than Potter's new pet.
He glowered.
"What do you want?"
He asked it, knowing very well that he wouldn't be able to understand the reply.
The snake slithered closer, and deposited a piece of parchment atop of his bare chest.
"Severus," It read, in Potter's rushed scrawl. "Snake's just told me that he (or she) is hungry. I sent him (or her…I really should ask, shouldn't I?) to you, as I didn't want to let it free on the grounds without your approval…Or, perhaps you've got a few mice stowed away, for potions purposes?
Thanks heaps,
Harry."
He scowled, then looked back at the serpent. It really was a magnificent creature, and certainly not an ordinary snake, either.
Its scales were clearly magical, judging by the myriad of colours they could shine, and the patterns over its body were probably just as mystical…
It hissed at him, putting a halt to his observations.
He sighed.
"Alright…Allow me to shower and dress, and then you will be fed."
It seemed satisfied with that, though he was relatively certain it couldn't actually understand him.
Severus frowned.
Bloody Potter.
-?-
Harry yawned as he entered the kitchen, wondering, idly, why Kreeper no longer pestered him at meal times. Surely he hadn't convinced the elf that it was unnecessary…After all, Dobby had never given up! And now, well, now he wanted food…Lots of food.
He rubbed his swollen stomach, and licked his lips.
A nice thick piece of soy and linseed toast smothered in avocado, lemon juice and sprinkled with freshly ground pepper was what he wanted.
His mouth watered at the mere thought of it.
When he finally exited the kitchen, his arms laden with plates of food, Severus was seated at the table, watching him.
"G'mornin'," Harry said, his mouth full of toast. 'Mmm, heaven…'
Snape raised an eyebrow, "I believe that many happy returns are in order?"
'Ooh, and the malted milk is so…' "Huh?" 'Ohh…my birthday…riiight.' He blushed. "Er…thanks…"
The Slytherin cleared his throat, and accio'd a box. He passed it to the younger wizard.
Harry goggled at him. "Y-you bought me a present?"
Severus shrugged, as though he purchased gifts for his arch-nemesis' son everyday. "It isn't anything to get all…Hufflepuff over, I assure you."
The younger man grinned, and threw himself at the package. He gasped. "A pensieve? But, Sir…Severus…these things cost a fortune! I can't accept-"
"Compared to the chance you are giving me, Potter," here, he glanced pointedly at the boy's belly, "A few galleons mean nothing."
Harry's eyes filled with tears, and, before either of them knew what was happening, he'd thrown himself into the older man's arms, and was hugging him for dear life.
Snape, not used to such intimate displays, pushed the younger off immediately.
The teenager looked as though he'd been slapped.
Severus' insides clenched remorsefully, and he tentatively reached out and held the boy's chin, so that they were eye to eye. "I apologise, Harry…I am not, nor have I ever been, one for such emotional behaviour…Especially not with someone so…pure."
Then, as if suddenly struck himself, he removed his hand, and stood abruptly.
"I suggest you pack your belongings. We leave for Hogwarts tonight."
And with that he left, his robes billowing dramatically behind him.
Harry, confused and emotionally conflicted, had nothing to do but cry.
What a Happy-Sodding-Birthday.
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A/N- I assure you, the soy and linseed toast smothered in avocado, lemon juice and pepper is not a weird craving…It's one of my own personal favourite snacks…YumYum. AHEM…Aaaanyway, I thank you all again for your amazing responses.
PLEASE review. This chapter was one of the most taxing on me, as Severus would just NOT react the way I'd have liked him to. (In my plan, he's extremely upset…and Harry and Malfoy are in deep dragon dung! Clearly, that didn't happen…)
However, I can understand why he found it so hard to stay mad at the boy…
But what is this twist at the end? Has he snapped? Come out of a daze?
I can't wait to read your thoughts on this little beauty.