Alternate Earth: Season Two

by A. Nonymous III esq

After the grand finale of the first season, Rachel and Laura return back home, but with little expectance the entire crew would be here. As difficult as it was living in the FF7 world, can the Cloud, Tifa, and the rest survive normal living to us,that is?

5. Chapter 5: Uneasy Nights and Days p2

Chapter 5: Uneasy Nights and Days p.2

Notes: Squaresoft own FF7 and Laura is owned by LadyTifa26. Damn, these notes feel bland. . .

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"Oh, is nothing sacred. . .?" Tifa muttered, two hours later from the incident, looking at the toilet seat still up from whatever guy used it last (coughKoruscough). She turned to look in the mirror, her eyes looking a little dark and her hair was messed up. Observing her slouched figure, she simply went "Unk," and shrugged, and took a complementary toothbrush out of the medicine cabinet out of its wrapper. It was smaller than her palm. Grumbling, she went to the toothpaste, and removed the security wrapper off. After applying the paste, she began scraping at her teeth vigorously with the brush, allowing it to foam and froth in her mouth, during which time she-

"HI!"

"AAAAAAACK!" Tifa nearly swallowed the pint-sized toothbrush when Yuffie jumped out from behind, popping up from below the sink and counter. She leered down at Yuffie after removing the brush.

"Oh, sorry, I couldn't help it. . . ," said Yuffie, laughing in between words. "Ew, Tif. Ya' sprayed toothpaste on the mirror."

"Yeah, I don't see HOW IT GOT THERE. . . ," said Tifa. "Yuffie, what are you doing up?"

"You woke me up, duh," said Yuffie. "Or was that Aeris. . .? Oh well, I'm up now. Whatcha doin'?!"

Tifa took one of the plastic cups and drank in water, rinsing out her mouth, then taking a towel and wiping her face off. She turned back to Yuffie. "What does it look like I'm doing?"

". . .Talking to me?" Yuffie guessed.

"Not even close. . . ," Tifa sighed.

"I know!" said Yuffie. "Getting angry?"

"Very good. . . ," said Tifa. "Why can't you just go back to sleep?"

"I dunno. . . ," said Yuffie, shrugging. "Once I'm up, I'm up. Unless I'm at school, taking a ninja lesson, or Godo is talking to me about something. So. . . What are YOU doing up?"

"I always wake up early," said Tifa casually, trying to get the toothpaste off the mirror, only causing wide streak marks now. "Ugh. . .Help please?"

"I got it covered. . . ," said Yuffie, casting some magic that made the droplets of paste spray freeze and fall right off the mirror.

Tifa cocked an eyebrow and smirked. "Easy way?" Tifa asked.

"Easy way," Yuffie acknowledged. ". . .I don't buy it when you say you wake up early."

"I do," said Tifa.

"Yeah. To make breakfast or do something like that," said Yuffie. "There's nothing to do."

"Well, uh. . . " Tifa couldn't make much of a fight for that. "I'm just, uh. . ."

"Tifa, did you sleep all night?" asked Yuffie, a little suspiciously. "Your eyes are dark. And you were tossing and turning a lot. . . .I KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!"

Tifa paled out.

"YOU'RE CONSTIPATED!" Yuffie shouted.

Tifa fell over. "I AM NOT CONSTIPATED!"

"Oh," said Yuffie, but she squinted her eyes again. "Yeah, right, Tifa. . .You know what? You've been awfully stingy with your fiber. . ."

"I am NOT constipated. . . ," Tifa sighed.

"Okay, fine. . . ," said Yuffie. "Well then, WHAT'S UP?!"

"Aw, Yuffie, pipe down. . . ," Barret mumbled.

"Oh, he's cranky. . . ," Yuffie sighed. "What's up?"

"Nothing," Tifa said, leaning on the counter.

"Hmm. . ." Yuffie inspected Tifa's face. ". . .You're lying. Your nose does that thing when you lie. . ."

"What?! What thing?!" asked Tifa.

"Your right nostril tenses up. . . ," Yuffie said. "You're worried about something. . ."

"Am not!" Tifa denied. "First of all, I wonder if I should be worried that you stare at my nose. Next, I just wake up this early because I'm used to it! BIOLOGICAL CLOCK! BIOLOGICAL CLOCK, I SAY!

"Oh yes you are. . . ," Yuffie said airily. "You're ALWAYS worried about something, but this bugs you the most. . . I know what you're worried about!"

Tifa swallowed hard.

"Don't worry!" said Yuffie. "Aeris was in bed all night, so she didn't sleep with Cloud or anything."

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M WORRIED ABOUT!" Tifa shouted.

"Tifa, it's too early for a homicide. . . ," Aeris said from outside the bathroom.

"Oh, so you ARE worried about something, then. . . ," said Yuffie with a wry smile. ". . .You're worried about Rachel, aren't you!"

"NO!" said Tifa.

"I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! BOOYAH, I KNEW IT!" Yuffie began punching the air in a bit of a victory bout. "YEAH! Besides, why would you worry about Kiro?"

Bubblegum pink. That would be the color you'd say Tifa's face masked itself into when Yuffie made her conclusion. She sighed, and gave in. "You know, you can be the most annoying person on The Planet when you're right. . ."
"But what's most important, is that I'm right," said Yuffie. "Don't worry about her. She's, well, stupid, but she can take care of herself."

Tifa gave Yuffie a skeptical look.

"Okay, well, she CAN'T take care of herself. . . ," said Yuffie. "But she doesn't like Kiro, which is a good thing. And if all else fails, she can't get pregnant, right?! OW!" Yuffie received a hit over the head from Tifa's palm. "Don't take out your aggressions on me, woman!"

Tifa shook her head and sighed. She picked up her feet and started for the door when she spoke over her shoulder. "Yuffie?"

"Aw, no need to say thanks, I-

"Keep your nose in your own business, okay?"

Yuffie had an incredulous look on her face. "Heh. Yeah. I never get any thanks around here. . .AND GETTING BEATEN UP ISN'T GREAT, EITHER!"

"Quiet down, Yuff," Cloud mumbled.

"Oh, fiiiiine. . .Don't come running to me when you need help."

"We won't. . ." mumbled Aeris, still buried in a pillow.

"HMPH!"

". . . . ." Kiro had blacked out, knocked unconscious on the ground. Which, is understandable, considering what Rachel did.

"I. . .EEH. . .AH. . ." Rachel was panting heavily, with the lamp still grasped firmly in her hands, right above her head. There was a crack in the side, which indicated where she had throttled Kiro in the face. "OOH. . .THAT'LL. . .THAT'LL TEACH YA'. . ." She fell back into her pillow. It seems the medicine didn't last as long as she thought it would. Her dizziness was coming back. She set the lamp on the table, and drifted into a haze and back off to sleep.

"Rrrrrgh. . ." Dayna was standing outside the door to the hotel room. Knocking hard three times, she heard some quick steps up to the door, and when it opened, it was Tifa standing there, with a diminutive little toothbrush poking out of her mouth.

"Raynra?" asked Tifa, with the toothbrush in her mouth. "Rut's up? Rer rearly."

"I know," said a tired looking Dayna, slouching with dark areas under her eyes. "I lost my way again. What time is it?" She strolled mindlessly in, and fell over where Tifa's spot used to be on the bed on the right side of the room, on the edge of the bed, to the left of Aeris. "Tired. . ."

Tifa pulled the toothbrush out, and spit into the sink again. "I can't ever finish brushing my teeth. . .Seven thirty," she answered. "Damn tiny little brush. . .This is what other toothbrushes eat for nourishment, is what this little thing is. . ."

"Well, I got to my apartment late, so I figured it'd be useless to sleep for fifteen minutes, and then take a stroll over here. . .," Dayna sighed into the depths of the cushion. "I was wandering around the damn city until I finally got back here."

"Why didn't you call a-

"Taxi?" Dayna completed. "I forgot. . ."

"That explains something," said Tifa.

". . .Where'd you get the shirt?" asked Dayna, looking at Tifa's oversized white shirt and then looked at the black cotton shorts the side was jauntily tucked into.

"Who knew Condrugon had a spare?" asked Tifa. "By the way, thanks."

Condrugon lifted his arm in the air, waved, and went back to sleep on the sofa.

"Some of us had to sleep in our normal clothes, which sucks, but we didn't bring anything but what was in our pockets. . .Or, at least nothing but what was on us immediately," Tifa sighed. "We're kinda like bums, vacationing together."

"I guess that's true," said Dayna. "But bums don't go to vacation in London, of all places."

Tifa sighed, and handed a picture to Dayna. It was a group picture, of everyone before the last time they were all together in the other world, and Tifa pointed to one girl in the front, and another girl in the second row.

"The one in the front is Rachel," said Tifa. "The red-head is Kiro."

"She sure stands out. . . ," said Dayna. "Hm, she looks familiar. . . And that one is Rachel? She looks nice enough. . .Maybe a little slow. . ."

"Then you are quite observant. . . ," Tifa mumbled.

"Uh. . . ," said Dayna. ". . .Why are there surefire FF7 characters in this?"

"FF7?!" asked Cloud. "Wha? Oh, that videogame?. . . .Tifa, is something wrong with her?"

Dayna's mouth dropped when she saw Cloud. "Th-the hair. . ."

"Yeah, ya' like it?" asked Cloud.

". . .YEEEEK!" When Dayna looked next to her, Aeris was lying there in her normal clothes, and so was Yuffie. "WH-WHAT'S UP WITH THIS?!"

"Uh. . . .Anime convention?" said Sky nervously.

"Um. . .okaaaaay. . . ," Dayna said. "Riiiiiight. . . . . .HOT DAMN!" She spotted Vincent in a chair. "BEST VINCENT COSPLAY, EVER!"

"Everyone says that. . . ," he sighed. ". . .Why didn't you say anything earlier before this?"

"Well, at the time, I just sort of figured it was light playing tricks on me, late at night. I've seen some clothing like that before. Weird clothing, but. . .Now it's broad daylight, there you are. . .It figures why you're dressed like that," she said to Tifa. "Doesn't quite explain your name, though. . ."

". . .Coincidence?" said Tifa.

Dayna shrugged. "Big coincidence to me."

"Is it morning, yet. . .?" asked Chikara, on the floor, under a blanket.

"The window blinds are up. Duh," said Tifa. "Come on, let's check out and look for them."

"That's nice. . . ," Chikara said sleepily, pulling the blanket over her head.

Tifa narrowed her eyes and grumbled. "Time for the Tifa alarm clock. . ."

"Tifa alarm clock?" asked Dayna. "What's tha-

"BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG!" Tifa had taken some of the cookware in the equipped kitchen and began banging on the pan she had with a hard spatula. "WAKE UP BEFORE I KICK ALL YOUR LAZY ASSES AND I MAKE YOU CLEAN THE CHOCOBOS! COME ON, HUSTLE PEOPLE, HUSTLE!"

Everyone jumped up and scattered, like a bombing raid alarm went off, beginning to line up for the bathroom and make the beds.

"Hm. The room cleaning takes care of the beds, but. . ." Tifa looked at the success of her wake-up call. "This does nicely. . . .Dayna?"

Dayna was covering her ears after standing right next to Tifa and hearing the racket.

"O-ow. . .," she said. "That hurt. . ."

"Hm, you know, your decibel level is really off the charts for so early in the morning. . . ," said Lucrecia, bobbing over to them.

"Oh, hey Lu," said Tifa. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah," Lucrecia said. "So, where do we start hunting these girls down, huh?"

"Girl hunt?!" asked Korus, spinning around.

"OH NO, NOT AFTER WHAT YOU CAUSED LAST NIGHT. . . ," said Vincent.

"Well. . . ," Tifa said. "Here we have Lucrecia, chemist and biologist, Shera the technical expert, Kiako the hacker, and Jessie, whom I am supposing is just the all-around child prodigy. . ."

"If you really knew her, she's not much of a child prodigy. . . ," said Holly, looking away innocently from Jessie.

"HEY!" Jessie shouted. "SHUT UP!"

"Anyway. . . ," Tifa continued. "With that lineup, we shouldn't have so much trouble. And if all technology fails us, we have man-power. . ." Tifa glanced in Cloud's direction.

"Man power?! Is brute strength my only attribu-

"Don't finish the sentence," said Condrugon. "She'll only agree."

"You didn't finish the sentence, and I still agree," Stephen chimed in.

"And it's true," said Condrugon. "Why are the guys only left to hunt them down manually. I say we should-

"By the way, here's what I owe you for the shirt and shorts." Tifa quickly went up to him and gave him a prolonged kiss on the cheek, and sped off to change for the bathroom.

". . ." He just didn't say a thing. Unless, of course, blinking in rapid bursts and blushing slightly speaks volumes to you.

"Heheheheheheheheheheh. . . .," laughed Mars. "'Captain no-feelings', blushed."

"I dunno. . . ," said Korus. "I envy him. . ."

Steve nodded in agreement. "Lucky bastard. . ."

"And what are we?!" asked Yuffie, next to Aeris. "Chopped liver?!"

"Of course not!" said Korus. "So Aeris, wanna go and-

"Leave me alone," said Aeris, getting up to go to the bathroom.

"AH, THE BITTERNESS OF DEFEAT!" he cried.

The guys just sort of exchanged odd glances.

"Riiiiight. . . .," said Mike. ". . . .LUCKY BASTARD!"

"AND WHAT ABOUT ME?!" shouted Yuffie. "Aw, you all suck, anyway. . ."

"JOOOOOHN JACOB JINGLE-HEIMER-

"Rachel, stop the singing. . ." Kiro sighed, waking up from her time on the floor.

"Well, I knew it'd be the only thing to wake you up. . . ," said Rachel, looking down at Kiro. "Don't we have to check-out?"

"Depends. . . ," said Kiro. "You feeling any better?" For anyone wondering, since Rachel hit her in the head, this is the sane Kiro.

"A little. The dizziness is a little better. But. . ." Rachel stood up, and then fell back on the bed. "The floor keeps speeding up and throwing me off."

"Oh, isn't that a good sign. . . ?," Kiro said. "I'll go check out. You coming?"

Rachel stood up, and balanced herself, then took the medicine. "Nyess, I shall be fine. . . ," she said in a funny voice. "Since when did the rotation of the Earth become noticeable?"

Kiro sighed, and left.

"Huh?" asked Rachel. "K-Kiro? HEY!" Rachel rushed out the door after her. "DON'T LEAVE ME STRANDED IN LONDON! HEEEY! AT LEAST LEAVE ME IN A FAMILIAR PLACE! OR WITH A FREE SNACK BAR! COME ONNN!"

"Sooooo. . . ," said Sky, wandering up to Tifa. "Where do we look first?"

They were standing in front of the hotel, waiting for instructions to where to search. And of course, as you can guess, Tifa was the coordinator, as usual.

"Laura, in which direction did you last leave them in?" asked Tifa.

"Well. . . ," said Laura, trying to get her directions straight in the middle of the busy sidewalk. "I went over there. . ." She pointed to the right. "But what if they tried to get back to the hotel? They could've skipped it, and-

"No," said Tifa. "It would mean they went further over there."

"How do you know?" asked Laura.

"Rachel," Tifa said flatly, implying that if Rachel were the one leading the search back to the hotel, she'd only get farther away.

"Oh. . . ," said Laura, coming upon the implication. "Right. But. . .why don't we just conduct a search for wherever Rachel and Kiro would most likely-. . ." Laura cut herself off.

"What?" asked Tifa. "What's up?"

Laura just stood and blinked for a second. "Um, sorry. When I was about to say where they most likely would be, I had very bad images."

Tifa sighed. "So I suppose everyone guesses that when we find Rachel, she won't be the same."

Everyone nodded.

"Ick," said Surka. "Icky, ick, ick. . .Ick."

"But. . . ," Tifa sighed. "I'm still waiting for an idea from our little group of geniuses. . ." She turned to Lucrecia, Jessie, Kiako, and Shera. ". . .Ideas, anyone?"

"Well. . . ," said Lucrecia. "As for me, I have an idea, but it's quite slim. . .And very, very tedious. Tifa, I'll need your PHS."

She gave an odd look to Lucrecia. "Uh. . .my PHS?" Tifa went into her pocket and pulled out her black PHS. "Here." She held out her hand as Lucrecia took it rather gingerly, examining it.

"Have you used this recently?" asked Lucrecia, focused on the red item.

"No," said Tifa. "The last time I used it was when we went to the Shinra building. It has a full battery. . .But why would you need it? I've tried calling Rachel. No signal."

"You'll see," said Lucrecia with a wink. "Kiako, I'll need your laptop. . .And Shera and Jessie? Both of you are good with technical stuff and electronics, right?"

Shera and Jessie both nodded.

"You know me. . . ," said Jessie, vainly. "I'm so brilliant, I can't even stand it."

"Or maybe you're just so dumb you're brilliant, and we can't stand it," Holly suggested.

"HEY!"

"And they're friends?" asked Tifa.

"Good," said a happy Lucrecia. "Now, I'll need a fire materia, an ice materia, lightning materia, a hammer, screwdriver, and lots and lots of time."

Yuffie pulled out each of the requested materia, and then a fistful of the same kind of other materia.

"Uh, Yuffie?" asked Lucrecia. "What's all these?", she asked when receiving the other fistful.

"What?" asked Yuffie. "You said you needed a lot of Time right?"

They all fell over, flat.

"That's not what I meant, Yuffie. . .," Lucrecia sighed. "But, it's a very good idea. . . Tifa, your Silver Bangle, if you please. . ."

Tifa took off the silver bracelet at her wrist, and gave that to Lucrecia as well.

"Now," said Lucrecia. "Leave us alone for quite a little bit, and I'll try out my idea. As for the rest of you. . . track them down."

"This will take awhile. . . ," Cloud sighed. "I'd suggest that everyone take a different direction. We all still have our PHS's, right? If we find anything, we'll call each other."

"Finally, a brilliant strategy from Cloud," said Tifa. "What took you so long?"

"Hey!" said Cloud. "I thought you had it all under control!"

"Because you weren't coming up with a thing, genius," said Tifa. "We don't have time to argue. Everyone ready? Let's head out."

"Oh, wonderful," said Rachel, coughing. "We don't have room, board, a place to go, friends, or a dime."

"Of course we don't have a dime," said Kiro. "This is England. They don't use U.S.-

"Don't make jokes. . . ," Rachel sighed. "We're broke and there's nothing to it." They were currently wandering the streets, looking for Laura and the rest, and Rachel was hunched over, still sick.

"But, we're not broke. . . ," said Kiro with a smirk.

". . . YOU DID SELL YOUR SOUL, DIDN'T YOU?!" asked Rachel.

"NO!" Kiro barked, and then sighed. "Come on, we're gonna go ahead and actually not have a hellish time."

"What do you-AHHH!" Kiro, who had hopped into the back, pulled Rachel into a taxi.

"Hey driver," said Kiro. "What's the most expensive hotel you know?"

"By expensive, you mean the best?" asked the driver.

"You got it!" said Kiro.

"I don't know many hotels, and they're all full up by this time of year. . . ," he said, pondering the question. ". . .But I do know a nice place."

"All right, we'll go wherever that is!" Kiro said. ". . .Where would that be?"

The driver pulled out into the street from his parked position. "South Kensington!"

"Whoaaa!" There was a bit of a jolt that pulled Rachel to the left when the driver rounded the corner. "Kiro, I thought we were broke!"

"Nope!" shouted Kiro.

"Then where did you get the-AHHH!" There was another sharp turn. "WHY DO I ALWAYS GET THESE KIND OF DRIVERS, HUH?!"

"Yep, yep. . . ," Mike sighed, walking with his group, consisting of Stephen, Kami, and Christina. "Here we are, in London, WITHOUT A CENT!"

"That figures," said Stephen. "That's because they use pounds and-

"SHUT UP. . . ," said Mike. "I know that. It's a figure of speech."

"We should probably find some way to get money," said Christina. "We just need an idea."

"Idea?" asked Kami. "I doubt there are people offering jobs just for the afternoon. . ."

"I have one," said Christina. "Street performer."

"Hmm. That's different," said Mike. "Where'd you get that idea?"

"Over there." Christina pointed to Kristi, playing the guitar on the corner, with people throwing a ton of money into her guitar case.

"Is she playing 'Dueling Banjos'?!" asked Stephen. ". . .But who's the banjo?!"

Mike looked a little over, past the crowd. ". . .I think she's just playing along with some other performer. . ." There was this middle-aged guy with a banjo, playing the other part with her.

"She's raking in cash. . . ," said Kami. ". . .But do we even have any talent to show off?"

"Uh. . . . ," Christina was thinking hard. ". . .Mike, you're a duelist, aren't you?"

"I think people would be alarmed to see a guy with rifles in the middle of the street," said Mike.

". . . Christina, you-

"I'm not talking to any raccoons," she said, cutting Stephen off. "It would be humiliating for them."

"Come on, I think some of them would like a little spotlight," said Mike.

"And how many raccoons do you suppose there are in London? And in broad daylight?"

"We know you can call them. . . ," said Kami.

"We've seen it before," said Mike.

"And we need the money," said Stephen.

"That, and I'm sure people would like to see a pretty girl talk to animals, right?" asked Mike.

Christina gave a defeated sighed, and tilted her head up when she strolled into an alley. Making a familiar hiss, the guys looked around, noticing the trashcans shuffle a little. There was movement on the rooftops. Before they knew it, there were about a dozen raccoons coming into the alleyway.

"How many did you have to call?!" asked Mike.

"I just made a noise that called them from about a three-mile radius," said Christina. "Wonderful how fast they are. Although, these aren't all the ones I've just called. . .You can't run three miles, lickity-split."

"Well, now that we have an act. . . ," said Stephen. "Let's go test this out."

"Thank you, thank you!" said Kristi, taking a bow, after finishing up her act. "Here." She gave half the money to the man who was playing the banjo. "You get half."

"I only asked for about a quarter. . . ," said the middle-aged man, who sat on an old stool with his banjo, in a torn up shirt and dirty jeans.

"You get more, because it's not every day you find a blind homeless dude who can play a banjo," said Kristi. She put half the pounds and shillings into his banjo case, and stood up. "I've got enough money. See ya'!"

The man waved his good-bye as she ran off, and she found her way to her own search group, with Mars, Sky, and Andariel.

"Not bad," said Sky. "How much do we have?"

"Loads. . . ," said Kristi, opening her case. "For that large a crowd and five songs. . . We have about two-hundred pounds, give or take five shillings."

"That's really good for such a short street performance. . . ," said Sky.

"And I like 'Dueling Banjos'," said Mars.

". . . .Why do we have him in the group?" asked Andariel. "He hardly has any mental functions."

"Hey!" said Mars. "I have mental functions! I have plenty of mental functions! See me! I'm functioning with mentality! Give me some credit, huh?!" He began jumping up and down ridiculously.

"Fine, you have mental functions, now stop acting like a freaking jackass!" said Andariel. "Now that we have money, who wants to just take a bus and look?"

"I'm all for that. . . ," said Sky. "Just that I thought we should ask people and be thorough." She received a lot of skeptical stares. "NAW! OF COURSE WE'RE NOT GOING TO DO THAT! I'M BEAT!"

"Thought so. . . ," Andariel said. "If you don't want to do the job, do a half-assed job."

"You said I shouldn't act like an a-

"YES, WHATEVER!" said Andariel, cutting Mars short. "Let's go and find a damn bus. . ."

"Uh, uh, uhhhh. . . ," said Mars. "Come on, say it with a smiiiiiile. . ."

Andariel just scowled.

"Someone's not a happy ray of sunshine. . . ," he said. "We're in London, come on, happy is-

"I DON'T CARE IF I'M NO #$( RAY OF SUNSHINE!" Andariel yelled. "STOP BEING AN ASS, AND GO!" She shoved everyone to a bus stop. "Jackass. . ."

"Here ya' go," said the driver.

Kiro handed him the money, and the taxi sped off.

They stood in front of four town houses with white columned fronts, appearing quaint and much, MUCH better than their former place. Walking up to what appeared to be the lobby, they pushed open the doors and entered, to see the desk where they were to be able to get their room.

"Hey there," said Kiro, approaching the desk. "Any open rooms?"

"We in fact, have on left. . . ," said the desk clerk, looking at Kiro with a smile past her glasses. "But. . .it's the most expensive one left, at about three-hundred."

"ABA BEBO, BYAAAA, GLAH, GLAH, GLAAAAAAH. . . ," Rachel spouted, her eyes dilating and taking a step back. "Th-three-hundred?!" she asked, her voice cracking. "Kiro, are you insa-

"We'll take it," said Kiro calmly. "I'm not one-hundred percent sure how long we're going to stay, however. . ."

"That's fine," said the desk clerk. "That room isn't booked yet, but I'd suspect it will be in about a week."
"And I'm positive that we won't have to stay that long," said Kiro.

The clerk took the keys to their room out of under the counter, and handed it to Kiro, then waved and said, "You have the second house down, on the top floor, overlooking the garden. Have a pleasant stay!"
"Hey Kiro. . . ," said Rachel. ". . .ARE YOU INSANE, HUH?!"

"If insanity is the equivalent of brilliance, then yes, I've lost my marbles," said Kiro with a smug grin. "So Rachel, feeling any better?"

"Not only is the floor revolving, the chairs look so mutated, every one resembles my dead grandmother, but after having a short coronary, I'm SURE I feel better. . . ," Rachel grumbled. "Tell me, would they charge us more if I threw up right here?"

"Maybe. . . ," said Kiro, now looking at the houses, and entering the second one, with Rachel following. "But you should stop whining. This is a vacation!"

"THIS, is a FIASCO. . . ," Rachel grumbled. "The world looks like I'm on drugs, I'm actually following you into a room ALONE, which probably means I AM on drugs, Laura is in the wrong hemisphere right now, and I'm sure once Tifa finds us, I'm dead."

"Oh Rachel. . . ," Kiro sighed, walking up the wooden stairs. "At least when you're dead, you won't feel sick!"

"I LOATHE YOU. . . ," Rachel growled.

"And I love you too, Rachel," said Kiro in a cutesy voice. "Come on, you can lie down in the room."

"Hopefully not with you on top of me. . .," Rachel muttered.

"Fine. . . ," Kiro sighed. "If you want to be on top, that's good, too."

"AHHH! SHUT UP, NOW!" shouted Rachel, bent over and covering her ears. "My purity isn't going to last. . .meep. . ."

"So, how much of this place have we check out?" asked Laura, standing around the spot she last saw Rachel.

"I wouldn't know," Tifa shrugged. "You positive this is where you last saw dunderhead?"

"Yep," said Laura, looking far off to where the street vendor was. "She ran over there. . ."

"All the way over there?!" asked Tifa. "She sure has some damn good vision. . . And yet strangely, nothing is apparent to her."

"I'm taking that Rachel is an air-head," said Dayna, right behind them.

"She can be a happy air-head, an angry air-head, a temperamental air-head, a spacey air-head, a stupid air-head, and then she can be surprisingly down to Earth," said Tifa, thinking about it for a moment. ". . .Yeah, she can be an air-head."

"Shall we plow on further?" asked Laura. "At any moment, Rachel could set fire to a building. . .Or a gas line. . ."

"Oh so much hope you hold in your friend, eh?" asked Tifa.

"Rachel is. . . ," said Laura. ". . .Klutzy. She wouldn't intend to, she'd just drop a match."

"Or maybe she'd want to check the difference between flammable and inflammable," said Tifa, continuing to walk down the sidewalk. "Come on, I don't feel like dying a very painful death in flaming, fiery doom."

"Rachel, lie down."

"No."

"Lie down."

"No!"

"LIE DOWN!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Rachel screamed, while Kiro was ordering the sick girl to lie down. "I DON'T TRUST YOU!"
"Tifa's at the door."

"YEEEK!" Rachel immediately hopped into the nicely sized hotel bed, under the sheets. ". . .Hey. . .This IS nicer than the last place. . ."

"I should've tipped the driver more, then. . .NAW!" said Kiro. "Now, take the medicine."

"NO!"

"Tifa."

"WHERE IS IT?!" Rachel shouted again, grabbing the medicine and practically chugging it down.

"HEY, YOU'RE GONNA KILL YOURSELF IF YOU DO THAT!" said Kiro, grabbing the plastic bottle of translucent purple medicine.

"Ick," said Rachel, her face all scrunched up. "Purple-flavored. . ."

"You mean GRAPE," said Kiro.

"I like the orange-flavor, better. . .," said Rachel.

"You mean orange. . .Oh," said Kiro. "I forgot about that."

Rachel sighed, and slouched. "If there were any way to scare your children with monsters, all you have to say is "Eat all your vegetables, or Tifa Lockheart will find you and kick your ass."."

"You're being too mean to her on that. . . ," said Kiro, taking a seat across from Rachel and putting up her legs on a footrest. "She can be scary. . .And angry. . .And she once put a hole in the wall. . ." Kiro was looking back into her memories. ". . .Oh, I see your point."

"Thank you. . . ," said Rachel. "I wish not to be the only one afraid of her. . ." She slumped into the sheets, and had that hazy feeling again. "Crap. I think I get disoriented when I lie down."

"And you can't sleep standing up," said Kiro. "Close your eyes."

"No."

"Close them."

"No!"

"Tifa."

She shut her eyes immediately. "DAMN YOU!"

"AHHHHHH!" A raccoon was attacking Stephen. "HELP MEEEEEEEE!"

"I TOLD you not to make it angry!" shouted Christina, pulling the animal off his face. They were standing on a corner of the road, drawing quite a crowd with the troupe of raccoons they managed to gather. ". . .Why raccoons? I can speak cat, too."

"This will be enough. . . ," said Mike. "What can you make them do?"

"Well. . . ," said Christina, thinking about it. "I can make them do about anything, including attacking people, robbing people, climbing people, and miscellaneous other tricks. . .Jump through hoops, that sort of stuff."

"Hmm. . . ," went Mike, thinking about it.

"It works well as a petting zoo, that's for sure. . .," said Steve, looking at a little girl play with one. "I'll never get these scratches off my face. . ."

Christina held out her arm and called for one, and it immediately climbed up to her arm, when someone came up and talked to her.

"Tell me, can you talk to them?" asked a girl.

"Sure, can't you?" asked Christina.

"Christina. . . ," said Mike. "Nobody can speak raccoon. . ."

"Why not?" asked Christina, puzzled by that. Her head shifted, and she made this sudden bark. A dog with soft brown hair and looking rather large in stature came running up to her. She barked again and made some motions with her head towards the raccoons, and the dog went up to the raccoons now, actually picking them up on its back and seemingly given them a ride. "The one he's carrying has an injured foot, so I asked him if he'd help it out. . ."

"Awwww. . . ," said Steve. "It's carrying the tiny raccoon in its mouth. . ."

Everyone went staring at him.

"WHAT?!" he asked. "IS IT SO WRONG TO GO "AWWW"?!"

"Only if you want to be regarded as a man," said Mike.

"Shall we get this thing assembled already?" asked Christina. "We're never going to get any money just standing around here. . ."

"THANK YOU, THANK YOU!" shouted Yuffie. "TOSS YOUR MONEY RIGHT HERE!"

Standing in the middle of the street was Surka, her head tilted, obviously a little irritated by the show. "I can't believe we are so desperate for money. . .Why don't you just steal some?!"

"Tifa said she'd kick my ass, that's why," said Yuffie. "Get ready for another show, all right?"

Surka growled. As you can guess, she was the attraction.

"COME ON OVER HERE, FOR THE BEST SHOW YOU'VE EVER SEEN, FOLKS!" Yuffie shouted. "THIS YOUNG GIRL OVER HERE IS THE MOST TALENTED SWORDWOMAN THIS SIDE OF. . .of. . .What was the name of that place again, Holly?"

"Japan," said Holly. "Surka's sword style resembles the Japanese with talented vertical strikes."

"YES, THAT'S IT!" Yuffie continued. "THIS SIDE OF JAPAN!"

There was an entire ring of people around them. The crowd was eager to see what Surka would do next, but it was just apparent that Surka was trying to contain her temper.

"Come on, Surka. . . ," said Holly. "Yuffie can't steal, and well, as if I'm going to do this."

"Fine. . ." she sighed, taking out her dual-edge sword again. "Throw it."

"ALL RIGHT, YUFFIE! TOSS ANOTHER ONE!" Holly yelled.

Yuffie picked up a roughly cut block of wood, and threw it twenty-feet above Surka's head, when Surka smashed it in one hit, appearing to have made a strike to cute right through it, and after the splinters were hitting the ground, with her other hand, she caught the wood, now in the shape of a little Gundam.

"I can't believe I've been reduced to cutting little toy figures with my sword. . .," Surka growled.

"Why are they throwing money at me?" asked Cloud. "I'm not doing anything."

"Put your shirt back on, Cloud. . . ," Aeris sighed.

"My Cloud senses are tingling," said Rachel, snapping awake. "I sense people are ogling him!"

"Tell me, do your Cloud senses tell you where he is right now?" asked Kiro, sitting on the couch in front of the bed.

Rachel sniffed the air. "He's twenty miles northeast."

"You can really tell?!" Kiro asked, astounded.

"No, I was just pulling your chain."

Kiro fell over with a thud. "Don't do that!"

"Well, I COULD detect him. . . ," said Rachel. "Just I have a stuffy nose right now."

". . .Uh-HUH," said Kiro. "Riiiiight. . . ."

"Um. . .Kiro?" asked Rachel. "What's with all the-

"Silver platters?" Kiro said, completing her sentence. "Room service."

"And, HOW much did you pay exactly?"

"I'd say another one-hundred pounds," said Kiro.

"UHWHAAAAAAAAAAA?!" asked Rachel, sitting up next to the headboard. "KIRO, IF YOU'RE HOLDING OUT ON ME, I SWEAR-

"Oh Rachel, would I EVER hold out on you?" asked Kiro, with a sly smile, squinting her eyes like a fox.

"Ew. Please. Stop with the innuendoes before I die of hearing them, instead on dying from this cold. And more than likely, I'll die of the innuendoes."

"Don't you love me, Rachelllll?" asked Kiro. "Come on, it's been an eternity since I got some loviiiinnnnn'. . .Oh wait, no it hasn't."

This time, Rachel fell over. "Ugh. . .Anyway, while I'm up, I might as well get out of bed. . ."

"Up? You're on the floor," said Kiro.

"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!" said Rachel.

"At any rate, you're not getting up," said Kiro. "That's final."

"I'M GETTING UP!"

"YOU'RE NOT GETTING UP!"

"I'M GOING!"

"NO YOU'RE NOT!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"OH MY GOD, LOOK OVER THERE! IS THAT CLOUD?!"

"I'm not that-OW!" Rachel, while trying to say she wasn't that stupid, apparently didn't even have fast enough reflexes to dodge Kiro's blow to the neck, sending her unconscious.

"Okay, you're not that's stupid. You're just slow. HAH! I MADE A PUN!" said Kiro, walking to the door. "Eh, yeaaaaah. . .I'm really losing my comedic tendencies. . ."

"I HUUUUUNGYYYYYY!" Chikara moaned, lying face down on the sidewalk.

"AHHH! GET UP!" said Keily, with B.T.

"NOOOOOO!"

"Dear GOD. . . ," B.T. sighed, arms on her hips and looking down at the poor girl. "Is food the only thing you care about?"

"That, and global warming. . . ," said Chikara, her voice muffled by the cement.

"People are staring. . . ," said Keily.

"Okay, let them come and stare. . .Just make sure they bring a pizza," Chikara said. "Preferably with mushrooms and pepperoni."

"Mushrooms make me queasy. . .," said Keily.

"No way, they're good!"

"WHY ARE WE WORRYING ABOUT MUSHROOMS?!" asked B.T. "Come on, stand up, and we'll get a pizza."

"We're broke, though," said Keily.

"Ugh. . . ." B.T. quickly turned around where a random passer-by was, hastily lifted her shirt and put it down again, and the man who was there blinked a few times, handed her some money, and stumbled off again, with this spacey grin. "There."

"Uhhhhhhh. . . .," went both Keily and Chikara. "Well. . .That was new. . ."

"AHHHHH! I CAN'T STOOOP!", shouted Kyoko, driving a trolley downtown. "NOR CAN I STOP GLOBAL WARMING (Yes, for some reason I can't get that out of my head.) OR THE RECESSION! THUS KYOKO FALLS PREY TO THE MERCILESS LAW OF INERTIA!"

"Kyoko, step on the brakes," said the man, dressed in a uniform for the normal drivers. "You're stepping on the gas. Are you sure you can drive?"

"Oh," said Kyoko, stepping on the brakes, a little past the sign for the first stop. "Yeah, I uh, just can't er, HONEST MISTAKE! WANNA SEE THE LICENSE AGAIN?!"

"No, that's fine. . . ," said the driver. ". . .Although, you look a little young to be twenty, like on the license."

"Eheheheheh. . . ," she laughed nervously. "Um. . .It's genetic."

"Whatever," he said. "Why do I always have to show the new guys the route for this thing, huh. . .?" he grumbled.

"Ugh, what I do for money. . .," Kyoko sighed. ". . .AHHH! IT WON'T MOVE!"

"Now you're pressing on the brakes," he said.

"Oh. I KNEW THAT!" she exclaimed.

"And I always get stuck with the know-it-alls that know nothing. . ."

"Do they use the old, outdated term 'square' for a dull, uncool person because it's the 'circle' of popular people, and that squares don't fit into circles?" asked Chikara, with a pizza slice hanging out of her mouth.

"First of all, DON'T EAT LIKE THAT!" said B.T. "And next of all, what brought that up?"

"I dunno."

"God, smite me now. . . DAMMIT!", B.T. shouted, after finding she wasn't dead. "God never listens. . ."

"He listens, but does he answer. . .?" said Chikara, in a mystic tone, making strange hand motions and doing funny movements with her eyebrows, over the pizza they were eating in a restaurant. "Maybe it's for the best, child. . ."

"THAT'S IT, NO MORE PIZZA FOR YOU! It makes you stranger than normal. . ."

"NOOO, MY PIZZA!"

"For some reason, I feel normal with these two. . . ," said Keily, looking at both of them. "Wouldn't you say so, Mr. Stumpy?" She lifted her right hand to show a little rubber finger puppet with two hands, two eyes, a pirate hat and a beard. "Yeah, I thought so. I want a doughnut, too. Want some pizza instead?" She held a slice of pizza up to its mouth, when its hand fell off, onto the floor. "Mr. Stumpy! You lost weight!"

"Shoot me, please," said B.T., looking at her after the little argument with Chikara. "Morons. . ."

". . . Lemon drops. . . ," said Rachel, opening her eyes again. "What's the point of going to sleep if you keep waking up every half-hour?" She sat up and rubbed her eyes, and looked for a sign of Kiro. ". . .I don't know whether I should be happy that she's finally gone, or worried that if I die in the middle of London, nobody will cremate me and sprinkle me over the parking lot of Squaresoft." She stood up from the bed, and looked out over the balcony into the large garden in the back. Unmistakably sat Kiro, sitting beside a table, feet propped up, lounging about in what looked like. . .a bathrobe. "Oh GOD. . ."

"AHAHAAAA! GENIUS!" shouted Lucrecia, sitting with the rest of the team in Trafalgar Square, with some onlookers while they were fusing together pieces of electrical equipment with materia.

"You sure it's fine for us to use this?" asked Shera, holding up some Time materia. "If people see us moving at increased speeds, I think they'll be a little worried."

"Oh, it's fiiiiine. . ." said Lucrecia. "If not, I can JUST use Time on them to stop them, so we can speed up, and they'll hardly realize a thing!"

"I got Tifa on the horn," said Kiako, talking into her PHS.

"Uh, how?" asked Jessie. "That's her PHS you're talking into."

"I called Laura, and had her give it to Tifa."

"Oh."

"Tifa?" asked Kiako.

"What?" asked Tifa on the other end. "What's up?"

"How far away are you from Trafalgar Square?"

"Uh, hold on. . . .Dayna says she estimates about twenty-five miles."

"Good," said Lucrecia, looking at Shera and Jessie who are hooking up equipment, and augmenting them to fit into a port at the back of Kiako's laptop.

"FIRE THIS SUCKER UP, BABY!" shouted Jessie, using Fire 2 on a wire, trying to connect it with another. "AHAHAAA!"

"Lucrecia, we might have an even madder scientist. . . ," said Shera.

"Madder than me? NEVER!" said Lucrecia, again, very happily. "Got that coat hanger?"

"Yep," said Shera, who had managed to untwist it, and bend it as straight as she could. "Untwisting that was murder. . .Why did you want it straight?"

"Better reception," said Lucrecia.

"If we're finding the reception into Rachel's brain signals, you won't find it. There are no brain signals," said Kiako. "And, if we're looking for Kiro's brain signals, then my laptop will be flooded with porn."

"Oh, nothing of the sort," said Lucrecia. "I'm not even one-hundred percent sure we have the technology to do that with what we've got. However, we do have busted equipment salvaged from the trash, that can be used for one thing."

"What?" asked Shera.

"Oh, that's a surprise. . . ," said Lucrecia. "You'll see."

"Kiro, Kiro. . . ," muttered Dayna, looking at the picture. ". . .I'VE GOT IT!"

"What?" asked Tifa.

"No, wait, I lost it again."

Tifa made a loud thud on the sidewalk.

"Ah yes! I've seen her before," Dayna said, recalling back to the previous night. "I ran into her somewhere I think north of here. . .In a bit of a rundown place. In front of a motel."

"OH DEAR SWEET JESUS. . . ," said Laura, clenching her eyes shut. "BAD IMAGES! AHHHH!"

"She was outside the motel, ALONE, apparently," said Tifa. "Don't jump to conclusions. Anyway, if Kiro really did manage to, Rachel would've jumped off a bridge."

"I remember she was in a bit of a hurry, though," said Dayna, finishing her recollection.

"Which is exactly what we should be in," said Tifa. "Come on, you said north, right?"

"START IT UP!" After all this work, Lucrecia and the rest had assembled a series of cables and wires, connected them to the PHS and Kiako's laptop, and had affixed the straightened hanger onto the top of the laptop, and Jessie had bent over to start up the machine. Using more materia, a spark was emitted from her finger, and onto an open wire, and she kept it there, while Kiako was typing commands into a system, and seemingly hacking into another.

"I wonder if the government realizes I'm hacking into their satellite. . .Oh well, it's a U.S. satellite, not the English, so we're safe! . . .Sorta," said Kiako. "How's this work again?"

"This is a preliminary test. . . ," said Lucrecia, looking with the rest into the laptop monitor. "The test will be to track down Laura, Tifa, and Dayna by way of their PHS signal. With any luck, we can find Rachel's faded out signal with the tracking satellite, and pinpoint her location."

"I got something. . . ," said Kiako. She switched views to another program she was running, giving her a little map for a layout of the city, and on the screen appeared the little chibi icon of Laura's head on one of the streets, moving north.

"Aw, that's cuuuuute. . . ," said Jessie, pointing to the little icon.

"But isn't it?" said Kiako. "I AM THE TRUE GENIUS!"

"NO YOU'RE NOT! I WAS THE ONE WHO HOOKED UP MOST OF THE EQUIPMENT!"

"A FIVE YEAR OLD COULD DO THAT!"

"YEAH, WELL YOU JUST CAN'T ADMIT THAT YOU CAN'T ASSEMBLE EQUIPMENT AS BRILLIANTLY AS I CAN!"

"CIDDY-PIE WOULD SAY I'M BETTER!"

"CLOUDY-KINS WOULD SAY I'M EVEN BETTER THAN THAT!"

"And Vincent would probably just say something under his breath about his ears bleeding from the noise and cover them. . . Maybe something thrown in about Hell," said Lucrecia, with an almost thoughtful expression. "Stop the fighting, all right? The preliminary was a success, so we can try and track down Rachel. . ."

"AHHHHH! THE RAAAACCCOOOOOOOONS!"
"You got them angry again, Steve. . . ," said Christina, watching one latch onto his face again. "I can't believe you stepped on one. . ."

"I CAN'T HELP IF THEY'RE UNDERFOOT! GAAAAH, THAT'S MY EEEYYYYYE!" he screamed.

"I like them. . . ," said Mike, petting one on his head.

"And, people are enjoying this public display of violence," said Christina, having money thrown at them by the entertainment that Steve was apparently providing with all the raccoons attacking him. "They think it's an act."

"I DIDN'T KNOW BLEEDING WAS PART OF THE ACT!" Steve screamed. "OWWW! THAT'S GONNA LEAVE A MARK! HEY! NOT THE HAIR! OW!"

"Should we help him?" asked Mike, watching Steve's little predicament.

"It's getting us money, so we'll help eventually," Christina replied, watching as well. "Or until he suffers enough blood loss that he collapses. PLAY DEAD, STEVE! THEY'LL GO AWAY!"

"I think he IS dead. . .," said Mike, kicking his carcass, while, ironically enough, people were still thinking it's an act and clapping and throwing money.

"No, he's just passed out. . . ," she said, kicking with him. ". . .So, wanna make-out?"

"Sure," Mike shrugged. Ah yes, and thus is carried the fine tradition of making out while another one of your friends lie face down on the hot cement in the middle of a cheering crowd, bleeding to death from being attacked by animals. A wonderful ritual.

"Kiro, have any thought to that strutting around in a robe could terminally blind people?" asked Rachel, meeting Kiro at her table.

"Certainly didn't blind those guys hitting on me. . . ," she said, waving back to a pair of guys who were waving to her from another table. "And anyway, they're really comfortable. Too bad you didn't get your own robe and come down, eh?"

"MY robe? What?"

"Comes with the room, child," said Kiro, looking into a newspaper. "Hey, this makes me feel kinda old. . ."

"WHERE did you get that?"

"Bought it," said Kiro.

"WHERE IS THIS SUPPLY OF MONEY-

"Ooh, my tea is here. . .," said Kiro, as a waiter set it neatly on the table, beside her feet, which were still propped up there. "Mm, Earl Grey. . .," she said, taking a sip. "Want some?"

"Now I know how Tifa feels when she tries to reason with me. . .," Rachel sighed. "Tired and exasperated. . .Or is that just the illness?"

"Tea is good for yooouu. . . ," said Kiro, waving it around in front or Rachel's face. "Just you need to get your own because I don't want your icky cold germs."

"You KISSED me, and I was still sick."

"Well, I might as well not push my luck, right?!" Kiro reasoned. "Come, sit, and be merry! Spend the day with Kiro!"

"It's like a horror movie I'll never get out of. . . ," Rachel muttered. "A horror/porn movie. . ."

"Oh Rachel, you can't possibly feel that way. . . ," said Kiro. "NOT WHEN I'VE BEEN TRYING TO BE GOOD ALL DAY! I mean, you and me, in a room together, I COULD MAKE A WOMAN OUT OF YOU, YOU KNOW!"

"I THINK I LIKE BEING A CHILD!" Rachel shouted.

"RACHEL, IN ORDER TO BE A COMPLETE HUMAN BEING, YOU MUST EXPLORE EVERY TERRITORY! INCLUDING MINE!"

"I'D RATHER SLEEP WITH MARS!"

"Hot damn, my sex-o-meter just moved up a scale," said Mars. "I can feel it. .. However, it also seems to feel like statutory rape."

"Ew, you can't be serious, can you?" asked Kiro. "It's not that he's ugly, but. . .He's just. . .a little eccentric."

"Well, at least he is a HE," said Rachel. "I told you, I do NOT swing that way!"

"I take converts!" said Kiro. "LET ME CONVERT YOU!"

"AHHH! I LIKE THINKING STRAIGHT!"

"Was that supposed to be a pun?"

"You started it. It's very catchy."

"Hey, you," Laura, Tifa, and Dayna had finally found their way north enough to where the motel was, and were asking around for signs of the red-haired sex fiend on the loose. "Seen this girl?" Dayna held out the picture, and the man they were asking scowled.

"I think I might've," said the man, sitting on a porch nearby the motel. "Ask some of the people upstairs." He pointed into the building, obviously some sort of apartments, and they sighed, and began to knock on doors.

"MUAHAHAAA!" Lucrecia laughed, while they started up the new search for the two with the satellite. "NOW, TO FIND RACHEL!"

"Why not Kiro? Doesn't she have a PHS?" asked Kiako.

"I remember Tifa destroyed it after she found out it was her making prank calls to her PHS," said Lucrecia. "So, not anymore."

"I'm starting it up. . .," said Jessie, sending a jolt of electricity through it again. "Kiako again hacked into the satellite and opened the map program to track them, and looked very closely. ". . .I've got nothing."

"Ah, crap. . . ," sighed Lucrecia. "The only hope now is that if she can get her signal amplified. . . Keep searching for her. By some dumb way, she can probably do it. . ."

"Why can't we just call them?" asked Kiro, after a few minutes of silence.

"Because, I can't get a good signal. What's weird is that you could call these people from anywhere in the World Map, and you'd get them loud and clear, and here in ONE city, you can't get a thing!"

"Maybe it's because there are so many signals in this city, there's too much interference," said Kiro. "I'm guessing that in the World Map, there was hardly anyone, so. . ."

". . .Why do we call it the World Map? WHY DON'T THEY JUST DESIGNATE THE AREA WITH A NAME?! I LIVE THERE FOR SIX MONTHS, AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW THE NAME!" Rachel exclaimed. "Oh whatever, I'm not good with any type of geography. . . Hey, why don't YOU call them?"

"Tifa broke mine after hunting me down. She found out I was the one making all those weird calls to her. Funny, though," Kiro said, shrugging. "I got a few nasty scars from that. . ."

"What I think is sort of ironic is that Tifa really didn't brutalize me after chasing me down, but that I hurt myself just running and dodging obstacles, and when she finally caught me, all she did was drag me off. . .So was that really her causing me to hurt myself, or am I just stupid?" Rachel asked.

". . .Stupid," said Kiro.

"And is it any wonder I don't like you?" asked Rachel.

"Fine, you're not stupid, just intellectually challenged," said Kiro.

"Thank you. . . .What did you say? What's that mean, huh?" Rachel asked cluelessly.

"It means nothing!", said Kiro, laughing nervously. "ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!"

"Uh-HUH. You're weird, Kiro," said Rachel. ". . .I'm feeling better. Can I just-

"No, because I'm not going to let you burn down the city. You can't go by yourself. And anyway, WHO has the money. . .?"

"Another question. Where DID you get th-

"LET'S GO, NO MORE QUESTIONS!", shouted Kiro, pulling Rachel by the arm and tugging her off.

"BUT WHERE-

"NO MORE QUESTIONS! COME ON! WE'RE GOING SHOPPING!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"I heard you found something," said Cid, walking to the group in Trafalgar Square. "So, what's the (&#$% breakthrough?"

"CUDDLECAKES!" shouted Kiako, jumping up and glomping him, much to his chagrin. "MISS ME, SUGARLOVE?!"

"Oh GAWD. . . ," he sighed, not even trying anymore to pry her off, due to the futility of all prior attempts.

"Ah yes. . . ," said Lucrecia, adjusting her glasses. "We need to find some way to locate Rachel. Or, at least cause something to amplify the frequency of her PHS signal to track her down. Do you have any ideas, Cid?"

"Yeah," he said. "We can leave her stranded with that horny girl."

"CID!" said Shera, giving him a glare. "We want to FIND her, not leave her alone with her nightmare."

"There are ways to pick up her signal. . .Exactly how weak is it?" he asked.

"I'd suspect with what we're using now, we won't be able to find her unless she's within a mile of us," said Jessie. "Although, I think that's pretty good, considering our antenna is a HANGER. . ."

"Okay, I have an idea," said Cid. "Kiako? Kiako?! KIAKO!"

"YES, SCHOOPIE?!" asked Kiako in a shrill, overly excited tone of voice, cracking with enthusiasm. "WHAT IS IT YOU DESIRE?!"

"Uh. . .Can you hack into a communications satellite?" he asked.

"Yeah, but I can't be in two satellites at once. . .," she sighed.

"What?" he asked with confusion.

"We've already hacked into a tracking satellite," said Lucrecia, adding some clarification.

"HAHA! NO GOVERNMENT CAN KEEP OUT THE LIKES OF KIAKO ORNITIER!" she shouted.

"Ornitier?" asked Jessie. "Like. . .Vivi Ornitier? From FF9?"

"Oh, can it, Jessie," Kiako grumbled. "And anyway. . .I LIKE VIVI!"

"STOP GETTING (&$#% OFF TOPIC!" Cid growled.

"WAAAAAAAAH! CIDDY DOESN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE!"

"Jessie?" asked Lucrecia.

"Got 'em," said Jessie, pulling out earmuffs, and putting a pair over her ears. "Here are yours."

"Thanks," said Lucrecia, taking them and adjusting them snugly over her ears.

"What? I can't hear you!" Jessie shouted.

"NEVER MIND!" Lucrecia shouted back.

And never mind the public display they were making, out in the square. . .Hoo boy. . .

"Yep. We should help him now," said Christina, after the crowd had cleared, looking at an unconscious Stephen, whom had finally been left alone by the raccoons.

"Yeah, the police may wonder about all the blood on the corner. . . ," said Mike, trying to haul Steve over to the side of the wall. "Got a Restore materia? A Heal materia?"

"No, but I have a potion. This'll do," she said, pouring the pink substance down Steve's throat.

"Mmm, strawberry. . . ," said Steve, coming back to the living world.

"I thought since he was knocked out, we'd use a Phoenix Down," said Mike.

"No, he wasn't close to dead, was he?"

"He was."

"Hm. That's odd."

"While you two geniuses. . .Well, ONE super-genius. . . ," said Steve.

Mike took a proud stance.

"I mean, Christina's twice as smart as I am, and LORD knows how much smarter she is than Mike. . ."

"HEY, WANT ME TO BEAT YOU BACK TO DEATH?!" Mike threatened.

Steve blanked out again.

"HEY! HEY! WAKE UP SO I CAN KNOCK YOU OUT! HEEEEEY!"

"WHY am I not enjoying this?" asked Rachel, sitting down on the bank of the Thames, after the trip (No, I'm not going to tell you about it, just because of the HORROR. . .But I will say Kiro went popping into Rachel's changing room more than once). "It's sunny, bright, calm. . .Oh yeah, YOU'RE SITTING TOO CLOSE!"

"Sorry. . .," said Kiro, who of course, was too close for comfort with Rachel, and had taken her hand of Rachel's shoulder. "I guess you don't know true beauty when you see it. . ."

"Or maybe I can't find it in you when I don't happen to swing into your level," Rachel grumbled.

"Aw, you're a cold person, you know that?" asked Kiro. "Why don't you let me-

"Warm you up?" Rachel completed. "I can already guess the lines going on in your head, it's been that long with you." She sighed, and scooted her legs inward, looking into the water. ". . .Damn big river."

"I'd give you the stats, but I've never been to London. . . ," Kiro said with a wink.

"Was that supposed to be an attempt at humor?" asked Rachel.

"Stop being mean. . . You can be nasty when you're sarcastic."

"Everyone can be nasty with sarcasm."

"There ya' go again, being mean!" Kiro said. "Rachel, haven't you EVER had a crush on a girl?"

"To the disappointment of any men listening to me right now, NO!" Rachel barked.

"ANYWAY then. . .How did you enjoy our little shopping expedition?"

"My soul died," Rachel grumbled. "It died and went to The Planet."

"At least THIS way, everyone has something to wear, right? Instead of getting gawked at in their outfits," Kiro said.

"You know, I think people will gawk at Vincent anyway, just because I don't think he'll be able to cover his hand. Nor will we be able to cover Barret's gun-arm. . .," Rachel sighed. "At any rate, I don't think some of them will wear what we bought them, anyway. AND I AM NOT WEARING THAT BATHING SUIT YOU GOT ME!"

"Come ON, Rachel! I'm going to wear that French maid's outfit, JUST FOR YOU!" said Kiro with delight. "Or do you like the nurse one better? Maybe the one that SCREAMS 'bondage queen'?! You KNOW you like the leather on THAT one!"

"I KNOW I'M SCARRED BY THE THOUGHT, YES!" said Rachel.

"Scarred by just thinking about it? I didn't know I was that good, even in your imagination. . .," said Kiro. "Maybe subconscious anticipation?"

"Anticipation to run, maybe. . .," Rachel mumbled. "Anyway, whatever bathing suit you got me, is LESS a bathing suit as it is, well. . . less than anything. That shows more skin than what I wear in the shower!"

"You wear something in the shower?" asked Kiro.

"Well, no, but at least I'm BEHIND A CURTAIN. . .," said Rachel.

"But you have to admit, you had fun, right?" Kiro asked, trying to drag out any form of pleasure from her victim, even if it was just something as harmless as an outing. (Okay, maybe "outings" aren't so "harmless" but-HEY, STOP LISTENING TO WHAT I'M SAYING!) "Could be better than hanging around Tifa, huh?"

"Tifa in PMS, I suppose. . .," Rachel sighed. "But you've been avoiding something all day. . .WHERE have you been getting the money?"

"Oh, the money?" asked Kiro, with a slight pang of nervousness. "That doesn't matter. Are you feeling better yet?"

"Don't change the subject, Kiro. . . ," said Rachel. "Where did the unexpected revenue originate?"

". . . .AHHH! BLINDED!" shouted Laura, her eyes shut, standing outside the closed door of an apartment, with the other two. The apartment itself was well kept, at least this level of the building, despite its outward appearance. Inside, lived a rather rich man, with the largest apartment in the building, on the top floor, and the hallway was composed of a rather old looking green paint, a little bleached out by the lighting that is now turned off, for the windows on either end of it were large enough to usher light indoors, and the flooring seemed to be newly set oak panels, that made quite a contrast to the aged walls.

"I'm not surprised. . .yet I am," said Tifa, with plain shock on her face.

"This is not a good first impression for Kiro, nope. . . ," said Dayna, standing behind them.

"I didn't honestly expect Kiro would do that. . . ," said Tifa, trying to move for the stairs, if her feet didn't feel glued to where they already were. "I know she's Kiro, and that says a lot already, but. . .THAT'S GROSS!"

"No, seriously guys, I can't see. . . ," said Laura, stumbling around on the hardwood floor in the hallway, her boots clunking.

"Laura, open your eyes," said Tifa.

"Huh? Oh," said Laura, after realizing she was clenching them shut. "Heheh. Thanks."

"You set?" asked Cid, standing by a large tower, with a satellite dish that adorned its top.

"You got it, Ciddy!" said Kiako, over the PHS. "Jack it up!"

"Sure hope this damn idea works. . . ," he said, holding up his hand, that was building up electric energy, and then swiftly clenched his hand onto the side of the metal framed tower, that surged with power, stemming upwards to the dish.

"All right, now. . ." Kiako was typing a myriad of commands (What I also like to call "moon man language". HOW do they understand that?!) into her laptop, until a large smiley face icon appeared on the screen. "I got it!"

"DAMMIT KIAKO, I'M RUNNING OUTTA JUICE. . . ," said Cid between his teeth, looking up at the dish above it. "FIND THE DITZ GIRL FASTER. . ."

"Okay Cid, it's done!" said Kiako, her voice coming in through his PHS he left on the ground. He released his hand and fell over onto his butt, and heaved an exhausted sigh.

"Now don't say I never did you any favors. . .," he said.

"YAAAAY! CIDDY-BEAR LOVES ME AGAIN!" she squealed on the other end.

"Oy. . ."

"Aw, that's. . .cute AND funny, actually," said Jessie, looking at the Rachel icon on Kiako's map of the city, with Rachel's chibi head, except it had swirls instead of eyes. "Kinda accurate, huh?"

"Quite," said Kiako, taking note of Rachel's location. "All right, now we can find the spaz!"

"The money?" asked Kiro, laughing nervously. "Well. . ."

"Kiro, did you rob a store?!" asked Rachel. "If so, WHY DIDN'T I COME, HUH?! IF IT WAS A CANDY STORE, I'D BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO LOOT GUMMY BEARS!"

"I didn't rob a store. . ." Kiro sighed. "Don't you think the police would be after me right now?"

". . .Good point. Didn't think of that. DON'T SAY ANYTHING!" Rachel shouted, holding up her hand, knowing the oncoming insult was about to hit.

"You're learning. . . ," said Kiro, with a smirk. "Took you a while, though."

"Okay, you're changing the subject again. . .," said Rachel. "Tell me, WHERE did you get the money?"

"Um. . .An employer?" said Kiro.

"Employer? Kiro, you don't have a job."

"I do."

"What is it then?"

"Er. . .Well, let's say this," said Kiro. "In today's world, most jobs tend to be office jobs for corporations, law firms, and so forth, so it's refreshing to have a job that involves actual movement, instead of sitting down. Like. . .stand-up comedy, and construction work. Or, prostitution."

"Huh? What? Really? Okay. . . ," said Laura, talking into her PHS. "Tifa, Lucrecia says we should get Bahamut."

"Why?" asked Tifa.

"Bahamut?!" asked Dayna.

"Because we found Rachel and Kiro," Laura explained.

"All right, finally!" said Tifa. "Just tell me where they are, and we'll go!"

"HUH?!" said Dayna, still not believing this. "WHAAA?!"

"Christina, they said they found Rachel," said Mike, turning off his PHS.

"Oh joy," went Christina, getting Steve up to his feet. "I can hardly contain myself."

"They found them, Cloud!" said Aeris, telling Cloud the information. "NOW WILL YOU PLEASE PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON?!"

"But we're getting so much money!" he said, carrying all the money in his pockets.

"DO YOU WANT MY METAL STAFF UP YOUR-

"Yes ma'am. . . ," he sighed, putting it back on.

"Thank the Lord. . . ," said B.T., after hearing where Rachel and Kiro were found. "Come on you bunch of misfits, haul ass and follow me."

"Hey, what about Mr. Stumpy? He doesn't have an ass," said Keily.

"It's true!" said Chikara. "He lacks one, the poor fellow."

"GIMME THAT!" shouted B.T., seizing the little finger puppet, throwing it on the ground, and stomping on it. She growled, and stormed off.

"Ooh, that time of the month. . . ," said Chikara.

"Mr. Stumpy, may you rest in peace. . . ," said Keily, bowing. "Come! We must have a proper burial!"

"No time! Come!" said B.T., who had returned and began dragging the two off.

"AAAAHHHH! RELEASE ME AND LET ME MOURN MY LOSS!"

"THE ONLY LOSS AROUND HERE WILL BE YOUR DEATH, AND I WON'T BE MOURNING!"

"THAT'S MEAAAAAAAAN!"

"The found Rachel. . .," Mars informed Andariel, after she hit him for good measure.

"Good," said Andariel. "You know where they are?"

". . .Whoops. I forgot to ask."

"AAAAAHHHHHHH!"

"B-B-B-BAHAMUT. . . ," Dayna stammered, looking up at the large, winged black dragon that was just summoned. "Tifa, why do I have the feeling-

"Oh, and yes, I'm a videogame character. If that doesn't answer all your questions, just hop on and I'll explain later!" shouted Tifa, pulling Dayna up to the back of the dragon. "We need to get to the Thames!"

A few dragged on moments made further discussion hesitant, while the sound of water filled the rest of the background, until finally, Rachel spoke.

". . .Kiro, you're not a construction worker!" said Rachel. "Although, it might explain why you have a few screws loose."

"I'M NOT A CONSTRUCTION WORKER!" Kiro shouted. "DON'T YOU GET IT?!"

"No, I don't. . .Kiro, why didn't you SAY you were a construction worker?! It's not like it's bad or anything!" Rachel said, continuing without knowing what's going on.

"GAAAAH! I'M A PROSTITUTE, DAMMIT! CAN'T YOU PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER?!" Kiro shouted in irritation.

"Yes, and you get six," said Rachel. "Prostitute? That's not so hard to believe. So. . .How was it?"

"I don't know whether being as out of as you are is cute, or just tiresome," Kiro grumbled. "Since I'm explaining it to you, and I STILL want to see you in that bikini, I'll take it as cute. I slept with another guy, so I could get some money, and then get you your medicine. Well, with some money on the side. Come on! HUGS!"

"EW, NOT WHEN YOU DID THINGS OF ILL MANNER, THANK YOU!" said Rachel, backing away from Kiro.

"What, so you're not happy that I did that just to help you?" asked Kiro. "And help myself. . .," she said under her breath.

"I wouldn't have DIED from a COLD," said Rachel.

"I thought it could've been pneumonia too, duh," Kiro defended. "At any rate, it's not like I murdered someone and robbed them, huh? Besides, I've already done it more times than-

"I DON'T NEED FACTS AND FIGURES! I GET THE POINT!" Rachel said, trying to keep her thoughts as pure as possible.

"Goody. Then we shall never speak of it again!" Kiro declared. "Anyway, I don't do it anymore. Wait, I guess I can't say that. . .Okay, then I don't do that anymore."

"What I don't understand, is that you did that just to get MEDICINE. . .Could've stolen it, ya' know!" said Rachel.

"Yeah, like that has uplifting morality to it, too," said Kiro. "But I got the medicine because. . ."

A dark, looming shadow had appeared over the ground where Rachel and Kiro sat on the back, moving quickly, and growing larger at an alarming rate. The wind picked up, and some people could be heard shrieking in the distance, the screams cutting into Kiro's sentence, but she continued anyway.

"Well, don't think I'm heartless, because I got the medicine because I care. All right?" said Kiro, trying to give a reassuring smile.

". . . . . . . . . . .AND I'M THE MORON?! DON'T PASS YOURSELF OFF AS A HERO!" said Rachel, ignoring the smile.

"Saw through that?" said Kiro, nervously laughing again. "Okay, THEN MAKE IT UP TO ME! YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT AND WHERE I WANT IT!"

"Kiro, stop frightening the girl," said Tifa, who had walked up behind the two.

"TIFA, THANK GOD!" shouted Rachel, springing up to her feet and grasping Tifa in a death hug. "I NEVER KNEW I'D BE SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU!"

"L-LET ME GO. . . ," said Tifa in a choked voice, pushing Rachel off. "Gah, air. . ."

"Heheh. Sorry. Hey, who's that?" asked Rachel, pointing to Dayna, who was standing beside Bahamut, still in a mute, shocked state.

"That's Dayna," said Laura, coming over to Rachel. "She's just experiencing minor shock. Don't worry."

"Her pupils are pinpoint," Rachel pointed out.

"Like I said, don't worry about it!" Laura said, still insisting everything was fine. "Come on, let's go. . ."

"Um, Kiro?" asked Tifa. ". . .What's with the bags?"

"CLOOOOTHES!" Kiro exclaimed. "I know everyone didn't have a lot of money, so I took the liberty to get stuff!"

"Which reminds me of another topic. . . ," Tifa sighed. ". . .But I won't get into it now. The rest should be here soon, so we'll leave as soon as they arrive."

"But. . .," Laura interjected, looking around. "What about the people who have already seen us?"

"Uhhh. . ." Tifa looked at the crowd that as staring in shock of the dragon before them. "Whoops."

"B-but what about you?!" It was nighttime, and everyone was riding Bahamut, who was soaring over the clouds, and their destination was to Guam, Laura's home. Unfortunately, some things were unclear to some people. . . "You knew they were FF7 characters?!" asked Dayna, talking to Alannah.

"Quite frankly, I thought I was either dreaming or experiencing a cardiac arrest and was having a delusion," said Alannah. "But you know, after being convinced they were solid and real, I sort of just slid into the idea they were alive. . ."

"Hoo boy. . . ."

"So, what about you?" asked Tifa, riding beside Bahamut's right wing, letting Vincent fly for a while. "Anything to say?"

"Just that I have no idea how you found out," said Kiro, sitting with her legs tucked in and her arms around them.

"What can I say? I'm good," said Tifa, lying on her stomach, with her head held up by her hand. ". . .Okay, I found the apartment where the guy was."

"At least he was loaded and I milked him for all he's worth, right?" asked Kiro, slightly innocently.

"Doesn't make up for it. . . ," she replied, sighing. "You shouldn't have done that."

"But not every problem has an easy solution, right?" Kiro inquired.

"You have a point. . . ," Tifa agreed.

"Hey, what's this?!" asked Mars, who was looking around in one of Kiro's bags, pulling out a skimpy nurse costume.

"IT'S NOTHING!" Kiro shouted.

"KIRO. . .," Tifa grumbled. "Never mind. . .Just promise me, you won't-

"I won't. . .," Kiro said. "I know, bad image. But I think MORE people would think YOU'RE more like that, because of-

"I know, the way I look. Whatever," said Tifa. "Miniskirt, tiny little top, my endowments, I get it. Can't fight genetics!"

"And what lovely genetics those-

"Shut up, Kiro."

---

AN3: HIYA, EVERYBODY! AND WELCOME TO THE ENDING NOTES! ::singing the words to "Descendant of Shinobi" on the set stage, in her yukata.::

Laura: ::playing the piano::

Cloud: . . .I'm confused.

Tifa: She's singing the words to Yuffie's theme.

Yuffie: ALL RIGHT! MY THEME KICKS ASS!

Alannah: There are words to it?!

AN3: TO THE REMADE VERSION ON THE MAHOROBA SOUNDTRACK!

Reno: I can't believe I'm doing this. . .::playing the drums::

Rachel: I didn't know you could play the drums.

Reno: The Turk's theme is entirely percussion, so who do you think is playing the drums?! ME! I'M THE SNARE!

Cid: ::playing the harmonica for it::

Cloud: . . .Yuffie's theme has a harmonica?

AN3: LIKE I SAID, IT'S REMADE! IT'S LIKE ONE OF THOSE OLD SONGS! KINDA LIKE A SMALL BAND! NOW, CLOUD, VINCENT, RUFUS. . .BE THE BACKUP!

All three: WHAT?!

AN3: Come on, I'm the authoress. . .I'll give you all better trailers. . .

Rufus: And what can you give me? I already HAVE everything I could possibly want.

AN3: Except, more lines.

Rufus: ALL RIGHT, BACKUP!

Other two: ::sigh and get ready for backup::

AN3: ::throws the mic to Yuffie:: YOU KNOW THE WORDS! ::hands Yuffie the lyrics::

Yuffie: ::hops onstage and sings::

AN3: Ah, now I can continue the notes like normal. . .

Tifa: The notes are normal?

AN3: Well, no, but I have some nice info. You know Advent Children? Well, there's something else FF7 coming out. How many of you people know about the new FF7 game, FF7: Before Crisis?

Reno: I wasn't informed. . .

AN3: Well, funny thing, BECAUSE IT FEATURES THE TURKS!

All the Turks: WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!

AN3: You heard me right people, but the thing is, the game obviously isn't as well known as the movie, and there may be a reason for that. . .

Cloud: HOW COULD SUCH A BIG GAME NOT HAVE A BIG SEQUEL AND NOT BE KNOWN?!

AN3: I know the reason. . .

Everyone: Oh, what now?!

AN3: The big thing is. . .IT'S A GAME FOR YOUR CELL PHONE!

Everyone: WHAT?!

Cloud: Figures. I was wondering why it was hardly known, but it's because it features the Turks. Including Reno.

Reno: HEY!

Turks: HEY!

AN3: What's really great is that over the cell phone since you can already connect with people, you can play the game with more people. As in, they are your other party members. I don't have THAT much info on it, but that's what I DO know. It's going to come out next year, I believe, and it's going to be on next gen cell phones, so don't go scrambling for it right away.

Tifa: HOW do you know all this?

AN3: I have my sources. . .::pulls out Electronic Gaming Monthly:: MWAHAHAAAAA!

Yuffie: Okay, whose turn is it to sing? ::hops off the stage::

AN3: I got that new grand piano Laura is using. . .Shiny, huh?

Rachel: WOOHOO! MY TURN! ::jumps onstage and starts singing "Eyes On Me"::

AN3: She loves that song. . .

Tifa: I wonder if this is something odd to say, but. . .

AN3: What?

Tifa: There's something different about your yukata.

AN3: What? It's the same one. . .

Aeris: No, she's right, there's something different, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

Steve: . . .Nope, me neither.

AN3: Meh, it's nothing. . .Hey, you know how I'm renovating the set? I'm getting separate places for the cast to go to when we have a break. . .The first character to get their own specialized room is. . .::pulls a name from the hat::

Konoshi: TORTURE ROOM FOR KONOSHI! WITH CHAINS AND WHIPS AND LEATHER STRAPS, AND, AND. . .Sephy-chan, what would you like for our room?

Sephiroth: HEY, DON'T YOU GET ANY IDEAS. . .

Konoshi: THEY'RE NOT MERE IDEAS! THEY ARE DREAMS THAT WILL BECOME REALITY!

AN3:. . .Aeris.

Konoshi: D'OH!

Aeris: Uh, really?

AN3: Yep! AND IT SHALL BE DONE!

Cloud: . . .Where did that door come from? ::points to the back of the set::

Rachel: ::done the song:: Huh?

AN3: Go ahead, through my divine will, I have made a room.

Sephiroth: Damn, she IS like the goddess of this fic!

Aeris: ::opens the door:: . . .Whoa.

Everyone: ::looks in:: Whoooooaaaa. . .

(As there is no other way for me to do this, the room is generally a fifty square foot room, complete with a waterfall, stream, and yes, many, many, MANY flowers.)

AN3: Cool, isn't it?

Everyone: ::shouting demands for their room::

AN3: HEY, ONLY ENOUGH DIVINE POWER FOR ONE DAY! I don't have a lot of energy after making all THAT. . .

Aeris: ::squeezing AN3 in a death hug:: IT'S PERFECT!

The guys: ::sobbing:: Why don't we ever get hugs like that from hot girls?

AN3: Because I don't get anything erotic out of it, and I gave her her own flower field, that's why. I think as an update, if I'm ever going to get those AE flash movies running, I already have music picked out. A LOT of remixes. I also have a remix of the date music in FF7, you know, the one called "Interrupted by Fireworks". As strange as it sounds, I think my perfect date would have that song play at some point. . .I find it kind of romantic. ::laughs nervously:: If you want to hear it, it's called "Acoustic Fireworks", and it's at YOU CAN GET SOOOO MANY REMIXES THERE! IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL! ::crying tears of joy::

Tifa: Yep. She's snapped.

AN3: Next time, it should be Sephiroth's chapter. . .Well, you know, the one where he finally pops up.

Sephy fans: YES! SILVER-HAIRED GODLINESS!

Sephiroth: Haven't they realized I have failed at my attempt to become a god?

Surka: Don't complain. . .

AN3: I also have a bit more art on my deviant art page if you haven't been there lately, so visit if you want.

People: ::cluttering into Aeris' room:: Pretty. . .

The REST of the people: Is it time to go yet?!

AN3: You can leave, if you want. . .

The rest of the people: Good. . .::exit the set::

Stephen: Damn, it's deserted. But I have one question.

AN3: What?

Stephen: Why DO you look different in that yukata?

AN3: I was wondering if you'd ask about that. . . ::starts playing "Acoustic Fireworks" in the background, on a stereo:: ::whispers in his ear:: Because, I'm not wearing anything under it. . .

Stephen: ::beet red:: UHHHHHHH. . .Nothing?

AN3: Absolutely nothing.

Stephen: Not even-

AN3: Nope.

Stephen: ::goes even redder: Er. . .

AN3: ::laughs:: Ah, you have the best reactions to everything. Go on, scoot, I'll meet you back there.

Stephen: ::stumbles off::

AN3: That's it, people! You have your updates. Just one more thing, my vacation to California is canceled, so I have more time to write this stuff! As if I have any energy for it, anyway. . .::sweat drop:: Okay, I'm going to go crush his hopes and dreams and play him in Halo. I mean, crush his hopes and dreams, BECAUSE I ROCK AT THAT GAME! . . .Even though I can't even fit my hands all the way around that Xbox controller, that damn giant piece of evil. . .And maybe I won't crush him because I'm probably bad after it's been so long. . .Wait, why am I telling you this?! GOOD-BYE! ::runs off:: TIME TO KICK MAJOR ASS!

::fades to black::