Chapter 7: Almost, but not Quite

Note: Ah yes, FF7 is owned by Squaresoft and Laura is owned by LadyTifa26. . .Oh yeah, and did I mention the rest is owned by other reviewers? No? Oh well, I did now.

"I am never singing for the rest of my life," Tifa grumbled, late at night on the head of Bahamut, steering him on the closest route to Guam. "Next of all, I never want to hear that song ever again."

"Aw, BUT IT'S FUN!" said Rachel, happy as ever. "And besides, I like pie."

"That's not the point. . .," Tifa sighed.

"What?" asked Rachel. "You mean pie WASN'T the focal point of the song?"

"No."

"Then what WAS the point?" Rachel asked curiously.

"Uh. . ." Having little to no experience of living in America, or getting the historical references of the song, she didn't have much of an idea, either. "The point of the song was. . . uh. . .DON'T YOU HAVE SOMEONE ELSE TO ANNOY?!"

"Ruffy, can I annoy you?!" Rachel shouted, calling back to him where he sat beside the left wing.

"NO! AND DON'T CALL ME RUFFY!" the president shouted back angrily.

"YEAH!" Keily agreed. "DON'T CALL BROTHER RUFFY! RUUUFFFY!" she squealed, glomping him.

"You're wrinkling my suit. . ."

"So, no, I don't have anyone else to bother," Rachel said.

"Why don't you talk to Laura?"

"She's knocked out right now."

Laura was sitting flat on her back, snoring, with a bottle of beer next to her.

"You think she has a problem?" asked Tifa, blinking.

"She's not DRUNK. . .," Rachel said. "Just. . .content."

"Hey, can I use that excuse next time?" Reno asked.

"You can," Tifa said. "Just that nobody will believe you."

"DAMMIT!"

"Hey, is that Guam?" asked Alannah, peering over the side of the gargantuan dragon. "It's an island, it's shiny, and I REALLY NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!"

"Oh quit whining. . .," Tifa sighed.

"I DON'T THINK BAHAMUT WOULD LIKE IT IF I WET MY TROUSERS ON HIM!" Alannah shouted. "PLEEEEAAAASE?! THAT'S GUAM RIGHT DOWN THERE!"

"NO!" Tifa roared. "FIRST, WE NEED TO KNOW WHERE LAURA ACTUALLY LIVES!"

Laura snored on.

"Great," said Cloud. "Our sense of direction is sleeping."

"Cloud, I need a Turbo Ether," Tifa said, holding out her hand behind her, expecting him to put one in her hand. "I'm running low again."

"Even WITH the HP MP materia?" asked Yuffie.

"YES!" said Tifa. "This guy isn't easy to summon! QUICKLY!"

"Er. . ." Cloud had a nervous smile. "We're out."

"WHHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!" Tifa screamed.

"I heard a bear," Laura said, opening her eyes after Tifa's scream. ". . . ." She looked around groggily, seeing only the sky. "Since when did bears fly?"

"EVERYONE, HOLD ON TO THEIR PANTIES!" Tifa said, steering Bahamut downward. "IT'S GONNA BE A BUMPY LANDING!"

"I HAVE BOXERRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrssssssss!" Steve shouted, in the descent, his voice being drowned out by the wind.

"THAT'S HOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTttttt. . ." Rachel shouted after him, the same effect happening.

"Ah," said Alannah, standing on the ground. "Nothing broken."

"Yep!" said Rachel, agreeing. "See Tifa? Nothing's broken, so cheer up!"

"Rachel. . .," Tifa said calmly. "If you hadn't noticed. . .WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A FOREST, LOST WITH NO SENSE OF DIRECTION-

"Like I said, she's asleep," Cloud repeated, pointing to Laura who was asleep beside a tree.

"Sn-snuck, huh?" asked Laura, just waking up, leaning against a tree. "Nyess?"

"WITH NO SENSE OF DIRECTION. . ." Tifa continued, "AND YOU SOUND LIKE WE'RE IN HAPPY FUN LAND!"
"WE'RE IN HAPPY FUN LAND?!" Rachel exclaimed. "I WANNA RIDE THE ROLLER COASTER!"

"Rachel?" asked Aeris. "Tell me, do you hear yourself?"

"Quite clearly," Rachel said. "Do you hear voices?"

"Quite clearly," said Aeris. ". . .We're even?"

"Yes," Rachel nodded.

"I didn't know Guam had its own language. . .," Dayna said, looking at a bunch of sign in a foreign language, posted on the trees, with arrows.. "What do you call it?"

"Um, it's called Japanese," Laura said, looking at the signs.

"But, we're in-AW, CRAP!" Tifa shouted.

"And it's not Japanese, it's Wutaian," Yuffie said, hands on her hips. "Rachel, I didn't know there were Wutaians here!"

". . . .Well, that explains everything," Rachel said, blinking. "Now I know everything I need to know about FF7. Except, since you could earn different dates, I wonder which one Cloud really DID go on?"

"All four," he said. "Barret was first, then Aeris, Tifa, and finally, Yuffie."

"YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE GOING TO THE BATHROOM!" Tifa shouted at Aeris.

"AND YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE GOING TO PLACE SOME BETS ON THE CHOCOBOS!" Aeris shouted back.

"AND YOU!" they both said, turning to Yuffie. "YOU TOLD US YOU WERE GOING TO GIVE BACK THE MATERIA YOU STOLE!"

"Hey, it's not my fault I can give a good speech about feeling guilty," Yuffie said stubbornly. "I lived with Godo, it came naturally. That, and you're just a bunch of gullible pigeons."

"Not quite. . .," Tifa said. "I know someone who's even MORE gullible."

"So, at the end of the rainbow, there really ARE skittles?!" asked Rachel excitedly.

"Yep," Steve nodded, with a fake smile. "And at the end of the rainbow, you can also find hippie leprechauns that MAKE the skittles. They're billionaires now, though."

"See?" asked Tifa, sighing. "Not only isn't she bright enough to find her way out of a closet with a map-

"Maybe because it's so dark in the closet, she can't see," said Yuffie, interjecting, then catching Tifa's glare and smiling weakly. "Riiiiight. . .You were saying?"

"She's so gullible, I'm surprised nobody has conned us out of our money," Tifa finished.

"Okay, I need five dollars for the information I just gave you," he said. Then he became shifty eyed. "That information is top secret."

"All right!" Rachel agreed.

"SEE?!" Tifa said pointing her finger at Rachel. "SEEEEEE?!"

"But I can't give you five dollars, because we don't have dollars," Rachel said. "Sorry 'bout that. But I can pay you back. . .IN SKITTLES!" she shouted happily, pulling out a giant bag of skittles.

"WOOHOO! SKITTLES!" said Mars, walking over and diving his hand into the bag of candy.

"Er. . .skittles. . .riiiight," said Steve, looking at this alternative payment. "Where DID you get these?"

"Hmm. . . .," Rachel said, deep in thought. "From the hippie leprechauns!"

"Wow, Tifa," Aeris said, after watching that. "NOW I understand why you lose your temper. Tifa?"

"STOP IT WITH THE SKITTLES!" Tifa shouted, smacking Rachel upside the head.

"OWIE!" Rachel pouted. "I hate it when my brother does that, and I don't like it when you do that. . ."

"Skittles come from a suit-and-tie conglomerate company by Nestle. They are mainly sugar, extracts, and food coloring, meant to have no nutritional value whatsoever, and cause diabetes in small children," said Tifa. "THAT'S where skittles come from, and that's why you shouldn't eat them!"

"Mmm. . .," said Rachel, eating a red one, ignoring Tifa. "Diabetes."

"STOP THAT!" Tifa finally seized the bag, and handed them to Steve. "There."

"Uh. . .thanks?" he said, as Tifa walked away.

"Right," she said, looking at the signs. ". . .I can't read that. Does ANYONE know what they say?!"

"I DO!" said both Laura and Yuffie at the same time.

"And now I understand what sets Rachel and Laura apart," Cloud said. "Laura is actually useful."

"That sign just tells us to keep going straight, and we should hit a shrine," Laura said, reading the sign. "Maybe there'll be people at the shrine to tell us where to go, and until then, we should sleep, then leave in the morning. Your magic should be recovered by then, right?"

"True," Tifa said. "Okay people! Get your fannies in gear, 'cause we're going hiking!"

"HAH!" said Mike, taking a manly pose with his foot upon a rock, pointing into the distance. "HIKING?! I AM A RUGGED MAN OF THE MOUNTAINS! I SHALL LEAD YOU FEARLESSLY, LIKE A REAL MAN SHOULD! ONLY STURDY, MANLY MEN WITH RIPPLING MUSCLES LIKE ME SHOULD LEAD, RIGHT GUYS?! . . Guys?"

"All right! Tifa is leading us!" everyone decided.

"Let's go!" Tifa said, taking front and marching off.

"HEY!" Mike said, running after them. "WHAT ABOUT BEING MANLY?!"

"Despite Tifa's plus-size womanhood, she's probably more manly than you are," Sky said. "And we need someone whose head is not clouded by massive amounts of testosterone. We don't want to die. Now, are you going to gape or walk?"

"Fiiiiiine. . ." he whined. "But we better have trail mix. . ."

Leading a group into the woods, Tifa guided them where the signs with the arrows pointed, designating a set distance to the shrine, marching for about a half hour in the woods. Needlessly to say, some people just can't shut up.

"Are we there yet?" asked Rachel.

"No," Tifa replied.

Rachel looked into the forest, and then up to the sky, then to her feet, and scratched her shoulder. "Are we there yet?"

"No," Tifa said again.

"Can we sing songs?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"How many more miles?"

"About half."

"How long will that be?"

"Not long."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"How about now?"

"No."

"Can you say anything other than 'no'?"

"Yes."

"Is grass green?"

"Yes."

"Are chocobos multicolored?"

"Yes."

"Does two plus two equal four?"

"Yes."

"Is Cloud stupid?"

"Yes."

"HEY!" Cloud shouted.

"Are those combat boots you're wearing?"

"Yes."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"DAMMIT!" Rachel shouted, apparently her plan to trap Tifa in a rut of answers not working. "When ARRREEE WEEEE THEEERRREEE?!"
"As soon as you shut up!" Tifa replied irritably. "Now, stop asking questions and keep walking."

"You know. . . ." Vincent said in a hushed tone. "I hear people never return from these forests. . ."

"Then why are there signs?" asked Laura.

"Because the people who put them up never returned, and they lure travelers in further into the forest. . ." he explained, the mood getting inexorably darker. "They say a bunch of ghosts of those who died in a great battle that was here in the woods trap travelers here, because they're so lonely in death and want company in the afterlife. . .And some are just vengeful about their death, and literally scare their victims to death. . ." He narrowed his eyes, and spoke on. "They float without restriction to the ground, wherever they want, chasing their victims until they meet their demise with an animal, or off a cliff into a river, and some just become possessed by the specters, and they use their victims bodies to attack others. . ."

Some rolled their eyes, and some were listening intently.

"But you can tell when they're coming, because they scream like banshees, but sometimes if they DO want to posses you, they just – APPEAR!" Vincent had strangely slipped from the shadows, right in the middle where the girls where walking, looking out of his cloak with inhuman, shining red eyes.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" Laura screamed, and then grappled Vincent's arm. "THAT'S NOT NICE, VINCENT!"

"SAVE ME, CLOUDY!" shouted both Holly and Jessie, hopping into Cloud's arms.

"I can't help it if I'm such a stud. . .," Cloud said, winding up carrying both of them, and Aeris was clinging to his side.

"This is fun," said Steve, with two girls on his arms, both Sky and Chikara.

"Mommy," said Mars, who had hopped into Tifa's arms.

"A-HEM!" Tifa coughed.

Mars smiled and waved. "You're looking pretty as ever. OW!"

Tifa testily dropped him flat on his butt.

"MEEEEP!" Rachel screamed, holding on to what she expected to be Cloud, then finding she staring into a pair of brown eyes. "Cloudy, I didn't know think you had brown eyes. Huh?" She looked up and found a couple stray red hairs. "Red hair?"

"Awww. . .," cooed Kiro's voice, Kiro herself taking Rachel's head and quite uncomfortably snuggling it into herself. "I should've KNOWN you'd warm up to me after our little time in our love nest!"

"MWUV MWEFT?!" Rachel shouted, muffled by Kiro's chest. "MPHT FWOO TWALKIN' BOUT, VWADY?!"

"Kiro, let the dipstick go. OR ELSE," Tifa ordered.

"You're no fun. . .," Kiro said, releasing Rachel. "Maybe another night. . ."

"Yeah, another night in Hell frozen over. . .," Rachel grumbled.

Two things happened when they screamed. But both were nearly the same, just both had reached different receptors. And both were two sides of the same coin.

"Hrrrrrmmm. . ." There was a low purr from something above the branches, right over the group, watching them pass by. It drew a playful smile, and ran off as fast as it came.

"Don't tell me MORE stupid wanderers passed through this forest. . .," said a male voice, standing in the shadowy underbrush, a little ways off from the trail everyone was following. "For FIVE HUNDRED YEARS, it NEVER fails. . .," the voice complained, hacking through the bushes. "JUST when it gets quiet, Hype finds someone else to play with. . ."

"See? We got there all right," said Tifa, walking up to the old shrine, large in comparison to most. Ivy snaked up the sides, crawling its fingers over some of the old, red painted stairs into the shrine. It had doors on each of its walls, the from the outside the interior looked spacious, and when Tifa slid the creaky door, everything was at a standstill. It was apparent nobody had inhabited the place in many years. "I guess we're going to be here for a while."

"Do we REALLY have to?" asked Chikara, looking at the musty floors.

"Yes, we do. . .," Tifa sighed.

"Or, we could sleep outside. . .," Cloud suggested. "But, it just might be better in here, so we don't attract any animals."

"Don't attract any animals?" asked Korus. "That's funny. I'm just an attractive animal, myself." He flashed a white smile, not one that impressed any of the girls. "Hey beautiful, why don't you play me a song?" He was, of course, talking to Kristi, his favorite.

"Well. . .," she said, responding rather irritably, "why don't I just shove this violin case straight up your-

"GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY!" said Tifa, laughing nervously, ushering some out of the room. "Eheheheheh. . .Okay, let's all pick our rooms, okay? KIRO! NO!"

Kiro was already dragging Rachel off somewhere. "FIIIIIINE!" She stormed off with Nyow, Sadie, and Selena.

"Uh, I'll just take this room," said Rachel, sitting down.

"Yep!" Laura declared. "This'll be fun!"

"AHHHHHHHHH!" Holly shrieked. "SPIDER!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. . . . .AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Rachel sprang up from her spot, ran around screaming, took a deep breath, and started running and screaming again.

"RACHEL!" Holly yelled.

"AHHHHHHHHH!"

"RAAAAACHEL!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"FOR GOD'S SAKE WOMAN, SNAP OUT OF IT!" Holly shook Rachel until she snapped out of it. "Damn, I was only kidding."

"Phew. . .," Rachel sighed, breathing a little easier. "That was. .. H-Holly?"

"Yes?"

". . . .Spiders. . ." Rachel pointed a finger to the corner of the wall, up on the ceiling where several spiders resided by each other, crawling on their translucent silver spinning. "MOMMY! TIFA! ANYONE WHO WEARS COMBAT BOOTS! HEEEELLLLP!"

"I like spiders. . .," said Christina, walking over to the wall, letting one land on her finger as it hung down. "They won't hurt you if you don't provoke them."

"P-please. . .," Rachel sobbed. "Take them away. . ."

"Sissy. . ."

The thing in the trees smiled again and landed on a tree with a better view into the window of the room Rachel and Laura was staying in. Hopping down from the tree, it crawled closer.

"Today was tiring. . .," Laura sighed, sitting on the floor, while Rachel was lying face first on it. "You think so, Rachel?"

"Zzzzzzz. . .," she snored. "I'd like some bicycling toast, on a high-wire. . ."

"Acrobatic breakfast?" Laura asked, confused. "Okaaaay. . .ANYWAY, I suppose I'll just-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Shhhh. . ." a black gloved handed covered her mouth. "Just follow me."

"I don't think many people would expect this." Tifa was sitting in a circle with Aeris, Cloud, and Yuffie, cards strewn on the floor, and a small hovering flame was with a few others about the room, generated by some materia. "Or, maybe they would."

"HEY! SOMEBODY HERE IS CHEATING!" Aeris whined, sitting in a towel. "HOW COULD I ALREADY BE NAKED?!"

"Well, maybe you're just really bad at this, Aeris," Yuffie suggested, rolling her eyes. "Anyway, I'M playing for materia, so WHY is this strip poker?!"

"Because, we can never go an episode without it?" Cloud guessed.

"Episode? What are you talking about?" asked Tifa. "Cloud, have you been smoking something?"

"No," he said, laying down two cards. "I've just noticed that when your get down to it, our lives are like some stupid sitcom."

"Eeeeyeaaaaaah. . . ," said Yuffie, laying down four cards. "Anyway, I have a better hand than you, SOOOOOO CLOOUD. . ." She grinned widely. "Hand over your Iron Bangle. WITH THE MATERIA!" All of a sudden, in a breath of cold wind, the light generated by the fires, as well as the fire itself, blew out, and sent the cards in the room tumbling in a whirlwind. "Whoooooaaaaaa. . .Cloud, if you're THAT upset about me winning your materia, just hand it over before your mood gets worse."

"You mean. . .that WASN'T you, Yuffie?" Tifa asked, looking around cautiously.

"C-COLD!" Aeris said, freezing in her towel.

"No. . .Wasn't me. . ." Yuffie said. Her eye caught a glimpse of something moving in the tree, and scowled, then stood up. "Hey uh. . .Do you believe in haunted shrines?"

"HEY! GET THE !$& AWAY!" Cid was trying to shoo Kiako off his leg before he went to sleep, in the same room with Shera and Lucrecia, whom unsurprisingly, are good friends.

"WAAAAAAAAAH!" And, of course, Kiako went to crying.

"CIIIIID!" Both Shera and Lucrecia were giving him the evil eye.

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT SHE CAN'T TAKE A HINT!" Cid yelled. "IT DOESN'T TAKE A ROCKET SCIENTIST!"

"What now?" asked Shera. "Rocket scientist?"

"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!" he shouted. "GET HER OFF MY DAMNED LEG!"

"Cid never ceases to amaze me with his volume," sighed Vincent, sitting with Laura next to him on the wooden step outside his room.

Laura laughed nervously. "Really? I was never impressed to begin with. Uh. . .Vinnie?"

"Hm?" he asked, his face half masked by his cloak.

"Is it just me, or does this place give you the creeps. . ." Laura looked warily at the shadows that wavered on the ground.

"I see you haven't lived in the Shinra mansion," he said.

"Oh, you mean the Missing Number, Yin and Yan, Girofelgo, and those floating pumpkins that live there? Good point. But, I've never really seen one, because I heard you destroyed all of them when you moved in," she said.

"They're called Funny Faces, and yes, I did destroy them," said he, answering her. "Just what you think is creepy, and what I think is creepy are two different things."

"Okaaaaaaaaay. . .," she said, still watching the shadows. "What DO you think is creepy?"

"The Happy Mask man, Hojo and Lucrecia together, oh, and that happy fat chocobo," he said, narrowing his eyes.

"Vincent. . . ," Laura groaned. "You're not very funny. . ."

"NO, REALLY!" he said, trying to pass a lame joke. "DON'T THOSE THINGS SCARE YOU?!"

She sighed, and rolled her eyes. "Vinnie, you need to get a sense of humor. . .NO WONDER YOU COULDN'T KEEP LUCRECIA! SHE MUST'VE BEEN BORED TO DEATH WITH YOU!"

He made a visible frown when he leaned forward and revealed the lower half of his face. He set his metal hand forward and watched the light bounce off, glowering with the remembrance of a loathsome memory. "What sets us apart is our identities, not our age," Vincent said. "Not many people think of it that way, but if there's something I want to happen, I don't want you to be concerned about me. It causes too much trouble."

"You know what, Vincent?" said Laura, tucking her feet in and setting her elbows on top of her knees to hold her head. "Sometimes, I think you're too serious. HERE!" She put her fingers in his mouth, and stretched the corners upwards to make a smile.

Vincent, however, was practically screaming, looking at Laura incredulously. "MUFT TWAR YOOTH DOINGTH?! RELEATH ME!"

Laura began laughing really hard and removed her hands. "No, never mind. . ." she sighed, with a smile on her face. "Smiling just doesn't suit you. But, that's not to say I don't enjoy seeing you smile." Lying down flat on her back, she tilted her head in the direction of the bushes. ". . .I'm sleepy. What about you?"

"I'm fine. I'm always up late," he said, unemotionally. He shifted his legs a bit, and tapped his fingers into the dirt.

"Hey, can you feel with that hand?" asked Laura, sitting back up, holding it.

"No," he replied, letting her hold and prod at it. ". . . .You enjoy doing that, don't you?"

Laura blinked, and stopped poking at it, realizing what she was doing. "Eheheheh," she laughed, letting him have it back. "I guess I got carried away about it. . .I'm going to go in, okay?" she said, shivering. "I left my jacket inside, and it's getting kinda late. . ."

"Here," he said, moving his left arm. "If you want part of my cloak, it's fine."

"YAY! HUGS FOR VINNIE!" Laura grappled on to his arm after throwing up a corner of his cloak up and huddling under it. "By the way, I wasn't really cold."

"Oh, that's funny. . . ," he said, putting his arm on her shoulder. "I really can feel with that arm, but I just like it when you massage my hand like that."

"VINNIE!" she shouted, elbowing him slightly. "THAT'S NOT NICE!"

"Temper, temper. . .," he reminded.

A few silent moments passed, drawing themselves out of a near breathless night, stingy with wind and mainly calm. Laura was zoning out, swaying from drowsiness. Vincent, however, seemed as alert as ever.

"Heeeeeey, Vinniiieeee. . . .," she said in a drawl. "Don'tcha ever sleeeeeep?"

"Yes," he replied. "Usually at two."

"YOU MUST BE KIDDING!" she said as loudly as she could muster in her state. "Okay, fine then. I just can't sleep when someone is hanging off my arm," he said.

She leered back at him.

"Fine, have it your way. . .," he sighed. "After reexamining that god forsaken map, I could tell that Guam is not that far away. . .Tell me, what do you suppose you'll do after all this is said and done?"

She made an odd expression of thought with her face, scrunching it up, and then took a few moments and replied, "Well, I do have college this year, so I guess I'll be studying. . ."

"Really?" he asked.

"NAW! WHO HONESTLY DOES THAT?!" Laura exclaimed. "But. . .I think it's obvious that I'll return to the normal routine of everything. . .Waking up early, getting to school late. . .Eating unhealthily and laughing at all the people who live off celery, being with Angel. . .o? . . .Oh, dear." She blinked many times at this point, and stood up out of his arms. "Mind if I call it a night?" She was starting to sweat bullets.

"Are you okay?" he asked, examining her face. "You're looking pale. . ."

"Oh, I'm all right, Vincent. . . .," she said, opening her door to her room. "Good night. . ."

"Laura," he said, taking hold of her hand with his claw before she stepped inside. But he paused a moment. "Never mind. Good night."

"ALL RIGHTY!" she said, maybe all too eager before stepping into her room. "NIGHTY, NIGHT!" After completely stepping inward, she shut the door, and leaned against it, heaving a heavy sigh. "Well, there's one problem not solved too easily. . ."

"She seemed hurried. . .", Vincent thought to himself. "Hmm, maybe I really am just too old for her. . .It would explain a few things. . .AHHH, THE PAIN OF REJECTION REARS ITS UGLY HEAD, YET AGAIN! I MUST REPENT! QUICK! WHERE'S A POINTY STICK?! . . .Huh?" His eyes glanced at the bush that just moved. in a fleeting movement, he had leaped over to the bush, and pulled out duel pistols, only to find a. . .

"Meow?" A gray tabby was sitting at his feet innocently. It looked up curiously, then ran away.

"Hmph," he said, watching it run off. "Something about this place that just isn't right."

"STUPID GUARDING A DAMN WELL. . .," mumbled the man, walking around in an all too familiar SOLDIER uniform. "I'VE BEEN HERE FOR 3,000 YEARS!" His white coat trailed behind his ankles. "AND IT STILL TAKES AN ETERNITY TO GET AROUND!" He rounded the corner, and caught a glimpse of the shrine from the underbrush. Noticing Vincent, he scowled. "So THAT'S what they're up to. . ." He sat hidden, barely noticeable, in wait.

"Mmmmm, muffins. . .," Surka muttered in her sleep. "Oh yes, the wall curtains go lovely with that suit. . ."

Kiro was sneaking about the rooms, now in the one Surka was in. She slid open the next door, and found Laura.

"Oh God, how do I explain THAT to Vincent, HUH?!" Laura said, sitting in the corner, her face twisted up in thought. "Oh, yes Vincent, I'm sorry, but I already have a boyfriend. You've been a wonderful companion, though. Bye?! IT DOESN'T WORK OUT THAT WAAAAAAAY!"

"Damn, that woman's got issues. . .," Kiro muttered to herself, then sliding open the next door, all while sneaking about in the shadows. ". . . Hellooooooo. . ." She finally ran into Rachel's room. "Heheheheheh. . .She'll NEVER remember to lock the doors. . .Well, if this place had locks. ANYWAY. . ." Tiptoeing to the next spot, her foot ran into a creaky floorboard. She winced at the noise that seemed painfully loud, but noticing nobody was moving, more importantly, neither Rachel, NOR Tifa (Can't forget the pain factor). ". . .Phew."

"SNUCK!" Rachel was waking up. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! A WORLD WITHOUT CHOCOLATE!" She blinked, then looked up at Kiro, who dreaded the worst. ". . .Oh, hello Kiro. Nice morning, isn't it?"

"Um. . .yes?" said Kiro, nodding nervously.

"Tell me, do we have any chocolate?" Rachel was obviously still fatigued.

"I think we do. . .," she said, going along with it.

"Good. Night, night." Rachel's head thudded against the floor, sound asleep again.

". . . ." Kiro was speechless. ". . .Well, at least-

"RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!" Yuffie was bolting through the sliding door, which pounded and snapped open.

"YUFFIE?!" Kiro was wondering about her sudden erratic behavior. "WHAT'S GOING ON?!"

"GHOOOOOOOOOOOSTS!"

"WE'RE NOT WATCHING SCOOBY-DOO!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!" Yuffie grabbed Kiro's arm and started running with her.

"WHAT ABOUT RACHEL?!"

"SHE'S EXPENDABLE!"

"AAAAACK!" Kiro didn't very much enjoy what was going on. . .clearly.

Slowly, Tifa., Cloud, and Aeris were trudging out, their eyes were blank white, moving lethargically.

Yuffie and Kiro were hiding right outside the door.

"Holy crap!" Kiro hissed. "What the hell?!"

"I dunno, the lights went off, and suddenly, they wouldn't talk to me anymore. Then, they just went like. . .like. . .LIKE THAT!" Yuffie replied, motioning with her head.

Tifa's head moved in the direction of Rachel's sleeping body. Cloud and Aeris followed her, and Tifa, pulled on her metal claw glove, pulled back her arm. One fluid movement, and she stabbed.

"AHHHHH!" Rachel bolted upright again, Tifa missing her target. "KIRO, GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" With the same speed as she bolted up, she slapped Tifa right on her face. Tifa blinked, and her eyes were back to normal.

"Hah?" asked Tifa, looking around. "Heeeey. . .," then she looked at Rachel. "DID YOU JUST SLAP ME?! WHY YOU. . .Myuh?"

Rachel was pointing a shaking finger behind Tifa's back. "T-Tifa. . .I think I finally found something scarier than you. . ."

"What's. . .that?" Tifa turned around and saw Cloud, lifting his sword. "ACK! CLOUD!"

"NOOOO!" said Rachel. "AERIS, PUT ON SOME CLOTHES, WILL YA'?!"

Yuffie and Kiro fell over.

"SHE'S WEARING A TOWEL! THAT'S FINE!" Tifa said, picking Rachel up over her shoulder. "NOW, LET'S GO!" She sprang up, just in time to dodge Cloud's powerful strike to the ground. Beating her boots against the floors, she hopped out of the building, set Rachel down, and bounded off, turning around to yell, "GET EVERYONE ELSE BEFORE THEY GET POSSESSED!"

Rachel blinked a couple times. ". . .Oh, what a nice night, indeed."

"Choco, choco, chocolaaaaate. . .," sang Konoshi, strolling into her room eating a candy bar. ". . .Huh? ACK!"

"What ARE they doing?" asked the man, still watching from the bushes. He sensed a rustle of a bush to his left. Instinctively, his eyes darted left, only to find Aeris in her towel. "HUUUUUH?!"

She was still blank faced, searching slowly but carefully for any trace of Yuffie, Tifa, or Rachel, or anyone for that matter. She approached him unknowingly, unwary of his presence.

"YES!" he thought, blushing. "IT'S MY DUTY! I MUST SAVE HER!" "MADAM!" he shouted, coming out of the bushes. "AS PROTECTOR OF THIS SHRINE, I. . .huh?"

Aeris sauntered up to him casually, putting an arm around his hip, caressing his cheek with the other. She stroked him affectionately, and smiled.

"M-MADAM!" he said, turning a scarlet color. "P-PLEASE, DON'T MAKE ME!"

Aeris just continued, and closed her eyes, giving him a kiss.

He started to bug out, and then clenched the corners of his mouth. "I WARNED YOU!" Begrudgingly, he lifted a hand and smacked her clear across her face.

Blinking a few times, she saw the man standing in front ofher. ". . .Hah? EEEEEEEEEEK!" She realized she was just standing in a towel. "PERVERRRRT!"

"MADAM, NO!"

"COMING ON TO ME, YOU FREAK!"

"HEY, YOU CAME ON TO ME FIRST!"

"LIAAAAAAR!" she screamed. "I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU IN MY ENTIRE LIFE! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"AERIS!" Tifa came running over to her and the man. "STAND BACK! I KNOW HE'S UP TO THIS!" Taking the traditional fighting stance, she narrowed her eyes, and looked back fiercely.

"PLEASE, LADIES!" he shouted. "IF YOU WANT ME TO EXPLAIN, I'LL HAVE TO LIVE! I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU!"

"Not the right person to talk to, mister. . .," said Rachel, walking up to them. "Don't worry Tifa, I got them all. . .
"You better have, dummy. . ." Tifa growled.

"Anyway, mister. . .," Rachel continued. "Tifa's not the right one to talk to if you think you can hurt her. . .Want to see the scars?"

"Um, no thanks. . .," he replied. "I'll just take your word for it. . ."

"Wow, Rachel did something useful?" asked Keily, standing with the assembled group of people Rachel woke up and collected.

"Well, it's awfully hard to sleep through a shrill cry of, 'AERIS IS IN A TOWEL, TRYING TO KILL PEOPLE!'," said Korus. "I mean, I would've settled for the first part, but then she just killed it for me."

"I know what you mean. . .," Mars sighed.

"Is everyone even here?" asked Laura. "Someone seems to be missing. . .Is it just me, or is it less silver and pink around here?"

"Konoshi. . .," said Sky, laughing nervously. "Can't forget her hair. . ."

"No, she's right over there," said Surka, pointing to Konoshi, standing in a battle stance, gripping her polearm aggressively.

"Yeah, but something seems wrong," said Jessie. ". . .Is she not holding a yaoi?!"

"NEVER!" Keily gasped.

"AND YOU'RE THE CHILD GENIUS?!" Holly exclaimed. "SHE WANTS TO KILL US!"

"You really think so?" Jessie asked. "Wow, that's a new one!"

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" Holly screamed in irritation. "START RUNNING!"

"Look, I don't run from anything!" Mike said, polishing his nails on his cloak. "IT'S TIME TO DIE! YEEHAW!" He whipped out his two duel rifles impressively, spinning them on his thumbs.

"You're a bit late," said Christina, pointing out that Condrugon was already fighting her.

"D'OH!"
"THERE'S. . .OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING CONTROLLING HER!" he said, parrying her weapon, circling to his left.

Konoshi took one step back, returned to her aggressive stance, and smirked. She left a thin cut on his face.

"OH, AND HOW DO YOU FIGURE?!" Holly shouted back, wondering if this man was retarded.

"BECAUSE SHE'S A LOT STRONGER AND BETTER THAN SHE NORMALLY IS!" he replied, knocking Konoshi out with the hilt of his frozen sword, letting her hit the ground with an audible thud on the grass. He took a deep breath, and sighed. "Trust me, this fight would've been a lot shorter. Let's find the other three and hope they didn't end up like this."

"Yes, that's about the story here. . .," said the man, who identified himself as Wraithe.

"So, let me get this straight. . .," said Tifa. Aeris was changing back into her clothes in the bushes.

"WHY THE BUSHES, TIFA?!" Aeris complained.

"Because, if you go back inside, you could get possessed again, that's why," Tifa explained. "Now. . .Three hundred years ago, there was a battle fought in this forest. . . ," she said. "Most of the warriors here perished at the hands of two demons, the rest, had fought the other enemy, which was human, as I understand it. . .And they were fighting for-

"A well," he said. "It was a well that granted eternal life, but at one price. . .You could never leave this forest."

"Wow, what kind of crappy price is THAT?!" asked Rachel. "Why not transform you into the most wretched creature alive?! Or give you hairy eyebrows FOREVER?! WAX CANNOT SAVE YOU!"

Wraithe and Tifa both gave her a look of silence.

"Heheh," she laughed. "Okay, you can continue now."

"So, that's what happened to you?" Tifa asked.

"Yes, basically. I cannot leave this forest, so I protect-

"The well?"

"No, that's just stupid," he said. "Who honestly protects a well?! I protect people from the well, so they don't have the same fate as I do. But, there's one way to break that little catch. . ."

"What's that?" Aeris asked, walking out of the bushes in her normal garb. "I SWEAR that owl was staring at me. . ."

"If you don't mind me saying so, madam, but you are one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen in over my 300 years of existence. Don't be surprised if the rest of the world and nature itself envies you," he said.

Aeris blushed the red of her jacket. "U-uh, call me Aeris. . ."

"Aeris," he said, with a tiny smile. "It's a pretty name, so it suits you. . .Anyway. . ." he continued, "the one who sets up the rules are the demons that live here. If you can get the demons to revoke the curse, you'll be free. But, that won't happen unless you kill them. . ."

"Really?" asked Tifa.

"That's how I suppose it is, seeing how stubborn they are. .. They'd sooner die," he sighed.

"ALLL RIIIIGHT!" said Rachel. "LET'S KILL SOME DEMONS!"

"DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME?!" Wraithe exclaimed. "THEY KILLED OVER A TWO THOUSAND SOLDIERS!"

"Did you see the demons?" asked Tifa.

"Right after I found the well, yes. . ." said he. "After barely surviving a fight with an enemy soldier, I had collapsed, falling down a well. . .At the bottom, there was a cavern, which I had naturally followed, too tired to climb the ivy back up. I heard the sound of water, until I had finally stumbled upon it, a pool of water that seemed to glow."

"And kids, that's why we shouldn't pollute the water supply," Rachel commented.

"QUUIIIEEET. . . ," Tifa warned. "Wraithe, ignore the dumb one."

"Thank you," he said politely. "Thirsty as I was, I had drank from it. A pair of eyes seemed to dart out at me from the shadows. . .It was the form of something inhuman with eyes that pierced right through me, holding a bloody battle ax. . .I'd care if I'd never see it again, and I try and ensure nobody else will have to see it, either. That's why I have to take you away from this forest."

"TIFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" shouted Laura, waving to her. "TIFA, WE'RE HERE!"

"Good," Tifa said, standing up from sitting on the grass with Wraithe. "We only need one more idiot. . ."

"Who are they?" asked Wraithe.

"You'll see. I have a plan," Tifa said with a wink.

Wraithe blushed slightly.

"THIS ISN'T FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!" screamed Rachel, running for her life from Cloud.

"GRAAAAAAAAH!" Cloud was blindly swinging his sword in a terrible attempt to slice Rachel in two.

"You'll be fine. . ." said Christina from up in a tree, watching those two run through the forest. "The trap's up ahead. . .ACK! RACHEL! THE OTHER WAY!"

The plan? Capture Cloud. How it's being executed? Take the most useless person as bait and lure out the fish. How it's actually going? Badly.

Rachel ran to the left, instead of heading straight, right off the course of the trap, which was to catch Cloud in a hole.

"I SPENT TWO HOURS DIGGING!" Steve shouted. "AHHHHH! WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME?!"

"Because God loves spiting you," said Kami. "Or, at least the one in control of all this does. . ."

"GONNA DIE, GONNA DIE, GONNA DIE. . ." Rachel was nervously looking for a place to hide. Wandering around, she looked to her back, ensuring Cloud wasn't following. Nervously, she sat down upon some loose scattered rocks. ". . .Phew."

"GRAAAAAAH!" Cloud came charging out of the bushes, sword over head.

"YEEEEEEEEK!" With a kick of her heels to stand up, Rachel lost balance, and fell over.

Down the entrance of the well, disguised by fallen branches and leaves.

"Yeah, that was definitely a Rachel scream," said Keily. "So, what do we do now, Tifa?"

"Find her, naturally. . .," Tifa sighed.

"Uh, Tifa?" said Christina, hopping from tree to tree to find her.

"What?"

"Follow me. . .," she said, leading them to where Rachel ran off to. "I can't believe I'm helping her. . ."

"My face. . . it hurts. . .," grumbled Rachel, after falling twenty-five feet, right onto her face. Yes, she's that hard-headed. After sitting back up, she flicked a pebble off her face, and looked forward, down a deep, humid passageway, where at the end, an inhuman light glowed from the darkness. ". . .Oh, that must be the chemical pond that weird guy was talking about! . . .Oh crap. Well, there's no place to go but up. . .Or straight, but I don't feel like dying. . .Hm?" She looked down into the passage, and saw a gray little tabby.

"Meow?" he went, tilting its head, then running off.

"OOOOOOH! KITTY!" said Rachel, following it happily.

"Yeah, that was Rachel. . .," Tifa sighed, standing above the well. "Cloud, stop squirming."

"I DON'T ENJOY THIS!" he said, flailing around, tied up with rope on his arms and legs.

"I do," said Selena, sitting on top of his back to keep him quiet.

"BUT YOU'RE NOT MEEEEEEE!" he whined.

"Oh, just be quiet, you. . ." Tifa walked over and started untying him, then picked him up.

"Ooh, right here?" asked Cloud, with a sly grin.

"Yes," she said.

"REALLY?!" he said, shocked.

"Uhuh," Tifa said, smiling sweetly. "Here," she said flatly, dropping him down the well. "TELL US HOW FAR IT IS!"

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"

"KIIIITTY!" sang Rachel, chasing the little cat. "Huh?" Another one came out, this time it was an orange tabby, even younger looking than the gray one. "TWO KITTIES! YAAAAAY!" And again, she went on chasing them further down the cavern.

"That better not have messed up my hair. . .," said Cloud, sitting up and rubbing his head.

"aaaahhhhHHHHHHH! OWCH! HEY! I'M ALIVE!" said Aeris, looking at her miraculous landing. On Cloud. "OW!"

"OWIE!"

"OOF!"

"OUCH!"

"PAIN!"

"MOTHER OF()&#!"

"I HEARD SOMETHING SNAP!"

"I heard something yell."

"YOWCH!"

"YOWIE!. . .Hee, hee, yaoi."

"OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

"Did you land on my sword?"

"I landed on SOMETHING. . ."

"Huh. . . .? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Kiako, the last to land on the pile of people hopping down on Cloud, looked up and saw Tifa falling feet first. "PLEASE, TIFA! YOU HAVE COMBAT BOOTS!"

Tifa landed beside the pile. "Yes, that I do. What are you guys all doing in a pile? Didn't you think to land on your feet and move?!"

"Um. . .MAYBE?" said Jessie, somewhere at the bottom. "I NEED AIR. . ."

"Kitties? Where for they go?" asked Rachel, looking around, standing about the glowing pond. "Don't tell me they live HERE. . ."

"Something lives here. . .," said a small voice.

"YEEK!" said Rachel, huddling in defense. "IF THIS IS A JOKE, IT'S NOT FUNNY! . . .BUT IF IT REALLY IS, I'D RATHER BE IN ON THE JOKE, NOT OUT!"

"You'll be out of something," said a much deeper voice, for the first one sounded like the cat's meowing. "Any last words?" The figure of a woman, but strange in the way anatomy would go, dressed in old warrior's armor and clothes, stood above her with a bloody axe.

"Yes," said Rachel, blinking. "MOOOOMMMYYYYYYYY! TIFAAAAAAAA! ANYONE WITH COMBAT BOOOOOOOTS! HEELLLLLLLP!"

"Say 'bye bye'. . .," said the figure, lifted up it broad sharpened side, blood dripping off of it, and swung.

CRACK!

"Oh, thank God for materia. . .," said Yuffie, who had just cast Barrier. "Rachel, you're sharpening and polishing my shurikens later."

"YES! FINE! WHATEVER!" Rachel cried, scooting back. "I THINK THIS KILLED MY LOVE FOR CATS!"

"Awww, that's a shame!" said another one, sitting on all fours, waving a leopard tail. "EVERYONE likes cats!"
"I don't. . .," Barret muttered. "AN' ANYWAY, WHAT THE HELL ARE YA'?!"

"DON'T TALK TO HYPE THAT WAY!" the other shouted, bring down its great bloody axe, nearly missing him when she threw the blow.

"Cleo, do you have to be so brutal all the time. . .?" Hype said, standing up. "Besides. . .I LIKE this one. . ." She curled up to Korus' leg and nuzzled.

"ALL RIGHT! I GET A CAT GIRL!" he exclaimed, looking at his feet, then picking Hype up in his arms. "HAH! BEAT THAT, CLOUD!"

"Hype, you know very well we must protect this well. . .," Cleo said solemnly. "NOT UNTIL WE FIND A SUITABLE POSSESSOR!"

"Well, I like possessing stuff. . .," Yuffie said, taking a drink of the water. "Hey, did you guys know this stuff tastes like Gatorade?"

"YUFFFFFFFFFFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Tifa screamed at the top of her lungs. "YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DRINK THAT!"

"Why?" asked Yuffie. "I don't FEEL any different. . .DON'T TELL ME! IT'LL MAKE ME CONSTIPATED! SOMEONE SHOULD'VE WARNED ME! I'M DYIIIIING. . .," she said, groaning melodramatically on the ground. "FAREWELL. . .MY FRIENDS. . ."

"My my, she's annoying. . .," Wraithe sighed.

"There's something very WRONG here. . .," said Cleo. ". . .Why isn't anything happening to her?"

"That's very odd. . .," said Hype, shuffling her hand through her amber hair, past her fox ears. "OOH! DO YOU THINK-

"I doubt it. . .," Cleo sighed, setting down her axe on the ground, the base set in her hands. "I sort of expected someone more. . .MANLY."

Yuffie was hopping about, looking around Hype. "Got materia?"

"SHE KNOWS!" Hype shouted. "SHE KNOOOOOOOWS!"
"YES!" Yuffie said excitedly, expecting a mountain of materia. "ALL YOUR MATERIA ARE BELONG TO US! OR ME, RATHER!"

"We ALL know about materia. . .," Tifa said. "What's so special?"

"You forget, there is no materia in this world. . .," said Jessie. "So, I'm supposing it's something special. . ."

"Yeaaaah. . ." said Cloud. "And what about you, bub? Why are you wearing a SOLDIER get up like me?"

"It's a long story. . .," he said. "But, I'm guessing you would understand. Let's just say that this is no ordinary part of Japan. . ."

"HEY, WE'RE NOT THAT SLOW!" Rachel shouted. ". . .Wait, what are we talking about again?"

Cleo picked herself off the floor after hearing that last statement. "AHEM!" she coughed. "Who are you?!"
"Me?" asked Yuffie. She grinned widely and took another dramatic pose. "I AM THE GREAT NINJA YUFFIE! PRINCESS OF WUTAI, AND ALL AROUND GENIUS!" Holding her super shuriken high, she had a very toothy smile.

"Princess of Wutai, huh?" asked Cleo. Narrowing her eyes, she put a fist on the ground and genuflected.

"HUH?!" went everyone, watching. Except for Hype, who apparently knew what was going on.

"Yep!" said Hype, walking over next to her sister, taking the same pose. "Nice ta' meetcha! It's been two thousand years!"

"Huh?" asked Yuffie, looking down. "What's going on?"

"We've been waiting for someone with royal blood to break the curse of the well," Cleo explained. "After all this time, someone worthy has managed to play through our tricks. Well done."

"Me? WHY YES! ME!" said Yuffie. "I AM THE ROYAL ONE! . . .Hey, what's the curse again?"

"Naturally, as demons, we have extremely long life spans," said Cleo. "But since the beginning, our family as guarded this well, along as drinking from it. . .It hasn't affected our life spans TOO much, but. . .We're bound to protect this place."

"And, we can't leave the place, because that's the curse. That's why we couldn't run off and get a royal member to do it," said Hype. "AND BESIDES! I LIKE THIS ONE, TOO!" She stood up and huggled Yuffie. "YAY!"

"Ooh, does this mean I'll live forever?" asked Yuffie.

"Well. . .no," said Cleo. "Being the one to break the curse, the water is back to normal, now. . .It glows because of the Lifestream."

"I KNEEEEW IT!" said Aeris. "HAHA!"

"So, the Planet does have affect on this world. Fascinating," said Lucrecia, writing down notes. "So. . .WHO WANTS HUGS?!"

"HUGS!" shouted Hype, hugging Yuffie. "Yay! I can see the outside world!"
"Get Hype upset, and people bleed," Cleo glared.

"Wait. . .What's that mean?" asked Tifa.

"It means, that people bleed when Hype gets upset. Geez Tifa, are you slipping? HONESTLY!" Rachel declared.

"No. . .," said Tifa. "I mean, by the way she put that, it sounds like-

"Yes, that we are. . .," Cleo sighed. "Wraithe. . .," she said, looking out of the corner of her catlike eye. "You know the story as much as I do. . ."

"She's right. . .," he sighed, leaning against the wall. "Whomever frees them, they have to serve until their master is dead. . .Code of honor for demons, and such," he said. "Of course, some don't listen to their duties, but. . .I think Hype likes this one."

"MASTER!" she said happily, hugging Yuffie.

"ALL RIGHT!" Yuffie exclaimed. "MINIONS!"

"No, Yuffie can't have minions. . .," Tifa sighed.

"HEY!" Yuffie protested. "ARE YOU MY MOTHER?!"
"YEAH!" Hype agreed. "YOU HER MOTHER?!"

"Noooo. . .," said Tifa. "Yuffie's just. . .Yuffie. That's insane to give her minions!"

"Just let her have her way. . .," said Cleo, walking down the tunnel. "There's nothing you can do about it, either. Just go along with it. . .And remember. . .," she said, getting farther away. "PEOPLE BLEED. . ."

"Ooh, cooooooool. . .," said Hype, looking at Bahamut once summoned, after leading them through the forest back.

"I thought you were out of magic, Tifa. . ." said Rachel.

"I was. . .," Tifa said. "But I already slept, so I have some magic back."

"WHEN did you sleep?!" Asked Aeris.

"THAT will remain top secret information. . .," said Tifa, jumping onto the dragon's back. "LET'S GET LAURA HOME!"

"I wonder, if being a zombie was considered the sleep," said Rachel, climbing up.

"Maybe. . .," said Laura, sitting next to Rachel. "Rachel, did today make any sense?"

"No, not at all," said Rachel, shaking her head. "But since when did ANYTHING make sense around here? I try not to ask questions about that."

"Especially since Lucrecia keeps giving us a Sex Ed talk."

"AND THIS IS CHRISTINA, MY DAUGHTER!" Lucrecia said happily, pulling Christina by the arm over to the demons. "ISN'T SHE WONDERFUL?!"

"MOTHER. . .," she gasped, having the life squeezed out of her from Lucrecia in a massive hug. "I'D HATE TO SAY IT, BUT YOUR HUGS IN ITSELF IS A STRUGGLE FOR SURVIVAL. . ."

"HERE WE GOOOOOO!" shouted Tifa, urging Bahamut into the air, patting it on the head. "Yeah, all my summon friends are cool. . .Laura, I'll need to know where to drop you off when we get there!"

"Sure. . .," said Laura, looking off into the distance, then at the ground below here, finally at Vincent. ". . . .Sure. . . ."

AN3: THERE'S NO TIIIIME!

Everyone: Huh?

AN3: I NEED TO POST NOW!

Everyone: BUT-

AN3: Oh, I think my dad is going out. . . .No hurry then! ::happy smile:: Sorry it takes me forever to update now. And. . .NO, HE'S COMING!

Everyone: ::falls down::

AN3: OH WELL! I HAVE SOME NEW ART AND I'LL POST IT SOON! I NEED TO HURRY THE SERIES! NEXT TIME, WE'LL HAVE LAURA'S FINAL RETURN HOME! Hey, what's living in Guam like, anyway?

Laura: Hot weather, typhoons, you know. . .Stuff like that.

AN3: ::bows:: I know nothing made sense, but I should include an explanation next chapter. . .Any other qualms?

Everyone: . . .Not really.

AN3: Good. . . 'Cause it's almost my birthday! AND, AE HAS IT'S OFFICIAL BIRTHDAY TODAY! YES! SEPTEMBER 22!

Everyone: . . .Yay?

AN3: YES! YAY! I need to do an art on it. . .Maybe Kiro hopping out of the giant birthday cake and scaring the crap out of Rachel.

Kiro: Can I be a sex moogle?!

AN3: Sure, whatever. . .

Rachel: MEEP!

AN3: LIKE I SAID! I NEED TO RUSH! LATER!