Chapter the Second: Would you notice...?
DISCLAIMER: I do not own GX.
SUMMARY: Jun has suffered endlessly at the hands of his elder brothers. Having been abused, raped, and beaten for years, he hates life and wishes he were dead. Having attempted suicide several times, only to discover he fails at that too, he decides he's better off just letting the world have its way with him. Lost and broken, he wanders through life uncaring and forlorn until he meets a girl named Lesley who seems to be his light in the darkness. Can she pull him out of his realm of darkness before it's too late? (I suck at summaries, so please forgive me...-.-; and I will try my hardest not to make Lesley a Mary-sue...)
CHAPTER THE SECOND SUMMARY: Jun's back at school and away from his niisans. It's been about a week or so since the student's returned from their vacation and no one seems to notice that Jun is acting more depressed than usual lately. Of course, why would they? They all hate him right? He's feeling dead inside, and wants so much to be so. That is, until one young Ra Yellow girl who he doesn't even know runs into him at school.
RATING FOR CHAPTER: Mature for angsty things that results in the loss of blood.
OTHER: Constructive criticism is always encouraged. I would love to know how I can make my writing better and I highly encourage critique, but will not accept random flaming. If you don't like my story, tell me why so I can improve upon it. Telling me it sucks is not helping. -.-
Osiris is the Japanese term for Slifer and I shall be using that instead of the English dub word.
THANKS: Thanks to my wonderful reviewers, all two of them.
-Ghostgirlsora: Hai, poor Manjoume-kun. But I promise that things shall get better for him.
-My love: Sankyuu. Nyeh. Love you.
A shrieking, blaring ring sounded through out the small Osiris dorm room and roused the ebony haired teen as he lay in his oversized bed from his deep slumber. He reached out with a thin, bony hand, to push a button on the annoying object and shut it off with a small grunt of disapproval. From beneath black colored bed sheets, a head of spiky black hair rose from off the bed, lanky pale arms propping up the upper half of the boy's body as he glanced over at the now slumbering digital alarm clock to read the time. 6:30 am. School started in a half an hour. The boy groaned a bit, slipping his body out from under the warm covers and out of bed only to be met with the chilly air nipping and biting at his pale exposed flesh. He shivered violently, silently praying that the Osiris dorms would get a heater sometime soon.
Slowly, Jun trudged over to his dresser, pulling out a familiar pair of black jeans and a darker colored long sleeve shirt. The fabric was soft and smooth against his skin and brought a much welcomed warmth to his shivering body. He slid the shirt over his head before pulling his jeans on over his boxers and then reaching for a pair of socks and his shoes. He had showered last night and, even though his brothers frowned on it, saw no point in taking yet another one this morning. Honestly, how dirty could you get lying in bed all night, sleeping? He slid his shoes on and then reached for his black tattered North Academy uniform.
He held the fabric of the old tattered coat up to his nose, inhaling a little, a small, hardly noticeable, but still present, odor filling his nostrils. "Hm…" He thought to himself, "I think I'm going to have to wash this……." He held the coat out in front of him, examining it for any signs of dirt or stains. He found none, shrugged a bit and then slid the duster on. No stains meant that it wasn't dirty and he therefore wouldn't have to wash it yet. Besides, who would care? It wasn't like anyone paid attention to him anyway. Well, except for Juudai, but he didn't count; he paid attention to everyone. He sighed a bit. Just one. That's all he wanted, just one person to come up to him and actually care about him, but he knew that would never happen. He was dirt right? Worthless and weak and frail. Not even worth mentioning. And for that reason, he pushed them away. All of them. Anyone who dared to tread upon his worthlessness. He would only bring them down...
He stood up from off of his bed and glanced at the clock again. 6:40. Twenty minutes left, ten of which he needed to set aside to get to class on time, which meant he had ten minutes to eat. He frowned slightly. He was doing it again. Scheduling. He hated it. He couldn't seem to break habit though. He had his brothers to blame for that and their over obsessive pounding of it into his brain because the Gods forbid he didn't do everything according to a schedule. He mentally kicked himself for about the bazillionth time and headed out the door, grabbing his school bag and the keys to his dorm though why he felt the need to lock his dorm he had no idea. A lock wasn't going to do a whole lot of good anyway. One swift kick and the door would collapse off of its hinges, lock or no. And yet, he still turned to lock the door after him. Habit he supposed. He hated habits, they forced him into a routine and he hated routines, but what did it matter? No one would care about him and his stupid dislike of routines so why was he even worrying about it?
He headed down to the Osiris 'cafeteria' if it could even be called that. It was merely a room attached to a mediocre kitchen with chairs and tables. Not like the cafteria at Obelisk, which was grand and large and served only the best food. But, he didn't deserve that opulence, nor did he deserve this mediocrity. He hardly deserved food at all, he was so weak and stupid. He grimaced slightly, an expression that was hardly noticeable for it was not vastly different from his regular scowl. Why did he let them do this to him? Why did he let them hurt him? Let them make him think he was insignificant? He kicked himself mentally again. He was letting them control his life, letting them control his feelings, his emotions. And why? Because he was frail and worthless and everything they had ever told him he was. If he wasn't, then why would he let them tell him he was? Why wouldn't people care about him? Why wouldn't they notice that he was dying inside?
He didn't eat anything, just sat there at a table in the far corner of the room away from anyone else. Sat there to stew in his own misery and loathing. Why couldn't they see? Anyone. Why couldn't they just wake up and realize that just maybe when he told them he didn't need them, that he was actually crying out desperately inside of himself; crying out for their attention and love and care and friendship; crying out for a hand to guide him through everything, for someone to shine a light down into his darkness and tell him everything would be okay? No one would save him. Would they even notice if he was gone? would they even care if he died right then and there?
He looked around the small little room at the various other Osiris students that cluttered the tiny rectangle. Shou and Kenzan sat farthest away from him at their normal table by the door. Juudai was absent as usual for he would be sleeping until half way through first period as was custom for him. They were laughing together, smiling, and joking. He wanted that. Would they notice if he got up and sat with them? Of course they would. They would wonder why such filth had decided to drift over to their table and clog up their cheerful aura with his weak sludge of a presence. His so-called friends. He knew that they hated him. The only reason they were nice to him was because of Juudai and his silly, stupid efforts of making everyone his friend. Would you notice if I was gone? Do you know that I'm dying? He asked them mentally. Would you care? Of course not. In fact, they'd probably celebrate. They'd probably throw a party.
He sighed again, standing up and heading out into the painfully bright sunshine of this brisk morning at Duel Academy. He had his bag slung over his shoulder as he walked, probably oneof the first Osiris students to be heading up to the school building. He liked to be there early, so he could avoid all the stares of those painfully ignorant people that he shared a classroom with. Of course, he knew they didn't care enough to stare at him. No one did. But he always felt that way, felt like they were taunting him mentally and it was all he could to keep from jumping up and screaming at the top of his lungs for them to stop it, for them to just leave him alone. It was agonizingly ironic, he thought. He was afraid that they all hated him and were watching him when he knew that they didn't like him enough to even care that much. Sometimes he thought it would be better if they all hated him. Because that meant that they actually noticed him, right?
But it was not always that simple. Life was not always that kind. Jun hadn't a friend in the world and he hadn't an enemy in the world, which was vastly more hurtful than the first. They didn't even care enough to be his enemy. Even his lackeys from when he was in Obelisk Blue had taken to ignoring him. He wasn't even worthy of their dislike. He had realized the minute he had returned to the Academy a week ago that everything his brothers had told him was true. No one cared. No one would ever care. And no one wanted to even think about caring. And so he had walked about the past week with a cloud above his head, one that was far bigger than his normal little cloud of annoyance, anger, and frustration and no one noticed or would ever notice that he was hurting. No one would notice him. No one would notice the cut marks upon his skin or the silent screams and tears he made in the night. No one would notice the blood dribble down over his pale skin as he lay in the silence of his dorm room crying to himself with a blade in his hands. No one would save him.
He stepped into the large foyer of the actual building that was Duel Academy and began to head to his first period class. His mind was so caught up in his little cloud of despair that he didn't even seem to be watching where he was walking. He passed several students in the hallway, not one of them even stopping to glance at him. They didn't even care enough to say hello. Was that so much to ask? One sorry, measly little hello? One tiny little greeting? One little sign that showed that someone might notice him? He didn't know why he kept thinking this. He already knew that no one noticed him and he wondered why he continued to wish for it. He should just give up. He had already attempted suicide several times. He remembered pulling that blade down his wrists and watching the blood pour over his pale flesh and seep into the carpet in his bedroom. It had felt like ecstasy, like Heaven, like every ounce of pain was leaving him and soon he'd be in place where he could be loved. Or at least he'd be away from this Hell that was called life. But no. Fate wouldn't even allow him that simple pleasure. Suicide was too good for him. Death was too much of a luxury. Even life had betrayed him now.
He continued to walk down the halls that shone in a luster that was much too dazzling for the young Manjoume boy's eyes. They smelled or cleaning fluid and shone like waxed aluminum and it reminded him of several rooms back at the mansion his brother's called home and he called Hell. And the sun shining through the stainless, too clean windows was not helping very much at all. To some it was a beautiful sight, the gleam reflecting off the newly waxed floors. To him, it was just as rotten and dirty and repulsing as a mud pit filled with stinky, filthy, fat pigs. He hated it and this just added to the little black rain cloud he seemed to be immersed in and that no one seemed to notice at all. It preoccupied him so much that he didn't notice that he was coming closer and closer to running into a petite little Ra Yellow girl with long dark brown hair that was pulled back into two pig-tails that was standing in the hallway reading a poster on the wall. (A/N: Hope you don't mind that I'm taking your character's image, love. I can change it if you want me to...). In fact, he didn't notice that little detail until his body had collided with hers and he was pulled forcefully away from his self-loathing.
He had expected, at most, a blunt "Excuse me!" or a rude remark somewhere along those lines, but he didn't expect the girl to turn around and bow apologetically. "I'm sorry," she said in a soft, saccharine voice that held such melody to it that it almost sickened Jun except for some strange reason it did not. "If I was in your way, please forgive me." He blinked a bit in surprise. People did not tend to apologize to him, especially if he had been the one to run into them. "Um...yeah, sure." He replied as the girl stood upright again. She had bright violet eyes, large and round and...absolutely gorgeous. He wasn't sure he had ever seen such eyes before. Her face was sweet and innocent with light skin and strikingly curved cheeks, not too plump, but just perfect to match her petite structure. She was not very tall, half a foot or more shorter than he was and thin. She was clad in the normal Ra yellow girls uniform with a bag slung over her right shoulder. She glanced up at him and smiled.
He nearly gave her a strange look, his jaw nearly falling open. No one had smiled at him for a long time. Maybe she wasn't smiling at him. He glanced about, but saw no one else she could be smiling at. And now he began to wonder why she was smiling at him. What on Earth could possess this girl to give such a kind gesture to him? Didn't she know that he was the scum of this world, barely worthy of scraping the dirt off of her shoes? She giggled a bit, obviously noticing his confusion and this made him scowl at her. How dare she laugh at him? It amazed him how much of an ego remained inside of him despite his obvious self-hatred.
She smiled up at him again and again he wondered what on Earth she could be smiling for when she began to talk again in that sugar sweet voice of hers. "Good morning, Manjoume-san. My name's Lesley. It's nice to meet you." She said. To say the least, he was stunned. She knew his name. His name. As worthless and weak as he was, she knew his name and she had offered him a greeting. She had cared enough to stop and smile and say hello. "Um...H...Hi..." he replied, stammering slightly and tripping over his words as he tried to process why this girl would want to be talking to him. "I...I have to get to class." He said, pushing past the girl and beginning down the hallway at a quickened pace.
She watched him leave; he could feel her eyes on his back, those bright violet eyes. "It was nice talking to you. See you in class, maybe?" She called after him. "...Yeah." He called back, "Maybe...". His last word ended on a voice just barely above a whisper as he hurried down the halls at a pace that was nearly running, rushing past his classroom door. She knew his name...
And that's Chapter the second. The ending was a bit rushed s you can tell. --; I hope ya'all liked it. Read/review/critique/whatever. Third chapter will be up when I feel like putting it up.