"So, Gary," said Mark once they let Gary the gummy worm into the loft and offered him peanut buttered tea and some peanut butter and beef cookies. "How've you been since all our crazy weddings to random inanimate objects?"
"Hey!!! Who you callin' inanimate?!?" yelled Camera, smacking Mark in the back of his head. Mark apologised to her.
"Oh, I've been good," said Gary, sitting on the single couch and sipping his tea while he and Joanne exchanged uncomfortable looks. "I was pretty shaken up when Joanne promised to eat me after she married me and then she didn't, but ever since I took up this job as a potato slayer, I've been really happy."
"That's exactly what I was going to ask you: Weren't you supposed to be eaten?" asked Glinda, who sat on Mark's lap.
Gary nodded and sighed. "Oh well. Maybe the next special person might do that," he mumbled.
And so, all the Bohemians sat down and enjoyed a hearty lunch of mashed potatoes with hot butter and peanut buttered gravy. While they were all sitting at the table and eating, Mark glanced nervously at Roger. Roger glanced nervously back at him. When everybody was busy clearing the table at the end of the meal, Mark looked at Roger and nodded towards the bathroom. Roger nodded, and so went there. Five minutes later, Mark joined him.
"I can't take this much longer, Roger," said Mark as he locked the bathroom door behind him. "I've been lying to Glinda telling her I love her when really, it's you I love."
"I understand, Mark," said Roger, clasping Mark's hands in his (Well, Mark's one hand and one dog paw). "I'm sure she'll understand. But tell me, do you really love me?" he said, smiling widely.
Mark nodded and smiled widely. "Yes Roggy, I do. I even wrote you a haiku! It goes like this:
Oh Roger Davis,
You are the fire in my heart,
I've always loved you.
See? What does that tell you?" asked the bespectacled albino dude, smiling widely at him. Suddenly, the birds sang and a random orchestra started playing romantic music from Swan Lake with a whole chorus of pink bunnies in white tutus started dancing to the music while Mark recited his haiku.
"Well, it sounds like you're comparing me to heartburn," said Roger, ruining the moment coz you know, Roger is dumb like that. "Which I think I might have right now. Did you notice anything funny in those mashed potatoes?" he said, suddenly grabbing his chest.
"Roger!! Come on, be serious!!! Did you like my haiku??" whined Mark like a 10-year-old spoilt girl. I mean, come on!! That haiku was hard!! It needs five syllables on the first line, seven on the second, and then five again on the third. Hippy.intellect's was really good in her story because obviously, she studied a haiku degree in Shiz-Bang University and even got a Ph.D in it too. But of course, Roger is way too dumb to understand something like that.
"Oh yes I did, Marky. It was so beautiful," said the stupid rock star. Mark smiled at him, and he smiled back. "But not as much as I love you." And with that, the two secret lovers shared a lovely, romantic little kiss in the bathroom. Mark shoved Roger against the wall and proceeded to open his pants and gave him a blowjob. Roger moaned in excitement of what was coming next. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.
"Mark?? Bubby, are you okay?" said a concerned Glinda through the door.
Mark's face suddenly paled because you know, Mark's face just isn't pale enough. Maybe he has that Vitilago disease that Michael Jackson claims to have. "Ohh yes, um..…..baby. I'm fine. It's just Roger here, who's feeling a little sick so I'm just helping him," he mumbled, hoping Glinda would believe him.
The little pink footwear gasped. "Oh dear!! I'm coming in to help him, Marky!!" she said as she proceeded to open the door.
"Glinda, no!! Don't!!" yelled mark, but it was too late. Glinda flung the dor open and her face went white with shock when she saw her boyfriend on his knees in front of his best friend, who was now pantless, and in the process of giving him a blowjob. Then suddenly, her face went red with anger when she saw her boyfriend on his knees in front of his best friend, who was now pantless, and in the process of giving him a blowjob. And then suddenly, her face went blue with sadness when she saw her boyfriend on his knees in front of his best friend, who was now pantless, and in the process of giving him a blowjob. She started crying tears of strawberry milk.
"I can't believe you did this to me, Mark!!" she yelled through her tears.
"I can't believe you changed colour three times," said Mark, coz you know, Mark is smart like that.
"Yeah, I can't believe the same thing either," said Roger coz we all know, Roger is dumb like that.
Glinda wailed even louder, and the whole household- that is, Maureen, Joanne, Gary, Jack Sparrow, Anthony, Rob (who was now a real, barbecued chicken), Elsie, The Easter Bunny, Jeff and Camera – came to comfort her. Elsie glared at them.
"How could you hurt Glinda like this?" she demanded, hot steam coming out of her nostrils.
"YEEAAHHH!!!!" bellowed Jeff. Everyone else agreed and continued booing them and throwing the remainder of the mashed potato at them. Poor Mark and Roger had nowhere to run and so just stood there, covered in mashed potatoes from head to toe.
"I wish you get punished for cheating on me!!" Glinda yelled to Mark. Suddenly, beautiful fairy magic was heard and there came Benny, in his sparkly purple gown, curly blonde wig and giant wand, descending in his sparkly bubble, with his usual gigantic smile plastered across his face.
"Did somebody say wish??" he asked in his lilting, fairy voice.Then his eyes fell on Gary.
"Hey!! Aren't you supposed to be eaten??" he asked the little green and red confectionary.
Gary shook his head and grinned. "It's a looooooooooong story, dude," he mumbled coolly.
Glinda wiped furiously at her eyes. "I want you to punish him for cheating on me!!" she yelled, pointing to Mark, who was trying to wipe the mashed potato off him.
"Certainly," said Benny, who lifted up his magic wand and began reciting the magic words: "She bangs, she bangs!! Oh baby, she moves, she moves!! I go crazy, coz she looks like a flower but she stings like a bee……." And in a flash, before you could say…..….well, something really fast and tongue-twisting, Mark suddenly disappeared in a flash of yellow onions. Roger gasped.
"Benny!!! How could you do this to me?? I want my Mark!!!!" he yelled, hugging the table leg and crying for his love. "MMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRKKKK!!!!!!" he cried as giant tears rolled down his face.
"Say, where did Mark go?" asked Maureen.
"Oh, he's in Africa. Morocco, to be exact," said Benny with a lilting laugh. Then suddenly he disappeared into his bubble in a puff of orange smoke.
Glinda turned to Anthony and said, "You know, I really liked you ever since you walked into the flat." She blushed bright pink and smiled shyly. "Do you like me too?"
Anthony smiled widely at her as he made more finger sandwiches. "Why, I certainly do!! Why don't I find the prefect two-storey Spanish colonial for both of us??" he asked in his typical, crazy, crack-addicted, real-estate agent style.
Glinda giggled. "Ohh, that would be just lovely!!!" she gurgled. And so, the two of them linked arms and walked out of the loft together. The rest of the Bohemians looked at the, and then at each other.
"Well, all's well that end's well, I guess," said Elsie, sighing happily.
"Yeah," said the other Bohemians.
"WHOOT!!" yelled Gary the gummy worm. The others all laughed at him and sat down for a lovely little game of Strip Monopoly. Yup, everyone was happy. Well, except for Roger, who was still clutching the table leg and crying for his love, Mark, who was now in Morocco doing God knows what.
"Oh my Mark. My sweet, lovable, really really pale, adorable Mark. Will I ever see him again??" he moaned to himself through his tears.
But that, my friends, is another story…………-thunder and lightning noises in the background-
LE END!!!
And that's that, people!!! Stay tuned for a possible sequel coming up!!!! Oh, and some of the ideas in the story were from hippy.intellect. Can we hear a whoop whoop for her??
-hears nothing but chickets chirping and the floor creaking-
No?? Fine then, be that way. –pouts-