Author's Note: Once again thanks for all of the reviews! I realize I took some time in updating this chapter and I apologize. There will be times when I cannot update everyday, and I kindly ask you to be patient and bear with me - I will never take longer than a few days or a week at the most to update a chapter.
Also, someone asked why the rating was Mature. I originally intended this fic to become sexually explicit. There were going to be some heavy sex scenes in the future, but as I wrote the fic I realized I didn't feel like writing sex scenes. There will be some hot 'n heavy stuff here and there, but nothing that will go beyong a Teen rating.
"Get up!"
Hermione groaned as a hand shoved at her again. She fell off the couch ungracefully, landing with a thump. She groaned again, still unable to open her eyes. Her whole body ached.
She lazily opened one eye, it being sensitive to the light. She winced, pushing her head off the ground. She could make out long red hair flowing behind a petite body, which was presently pacing back and forth. When her vision focused, Hermione noted the frustration and anger on the pretty, freckled face.
"G-Ginny?" asked Hermione uncertainly. Her own soft and confused voice made her wince; the sound was that of a thousand trumpets being blasted in her ear.
"Get up, you bloody stupid alcoholic!" shouted the redhead, shaking Hermione's shoulders.
Hermione's grasp on the situation was slippery and the increasing agitation in Ginny's voice frightened her.
"Ginny, what's wrong with you?" Hermione managed to choke out. The roof of her mouth was dry and bitter against her tongue. Vague recollections of the preceding night were coming back to her in a blur.
Ginny ran into the kitchen, bringing back a steaming goblet. Hermione drank, not caring what was in it, and realized by the sickly sweet taste that it was hangover potion. Did she have another hangover? This was the second time in days.
Her head feeling slightly clearer now, Hermione sat up straight with her back against the sofa.
Ginny gave her no more than ten seconds to recuperate before she berated her with questions and accusations.
Hermione only managed to catch bits and pieces of the overall rant, like "conviction" and "all your fault."
"Gin, what are you talking about?" asked Hermione, her eyebrows furrowing.
Ginny stopped mid-sentence and stared at Hermione in disbelief. Her eyes were aflame and her hair seemed to cackle with electricity. When she finally managed to control her anger, she spat out, "You lousy little sneak! You have the nerve to act all innocent and uninformed?!"
Hermione was most indignant. "Wait just a minute, Ginny. I don't know who you think you're talking to but I will not tolera –"
"Shut up!" shrieked Ginny. "This must be your hangover talking – it better be your hangover talking – because I know you're not generally so stupid. When my brother came over this morning in tears, afraid for his life I knew something was wrong. He had a letter in his hands – a letter from the Ministry. He's being tried by the full Wizengamot for the murder of Narcissa Malfoy!"
Hermione blanched. "What did you say?"
"You heard me! And don't bother denying anything, you little traitor, because Harry told me about your conversation at the bar yesterday. I can't believe we all trusted you. The first chance you got you dropped us like hot coals and squealed to the Ministry! And it's not just that, Hermione, it's the fact that you lied. Lied about your best friend, and now he has to stand trial and the outcome is not looking in his favor."
Hermione was thinking hard, trying to remember what happened after she left the bar. She went to Diagon Alley. Malfoy! She'd run into Malfoy! But then what? Hermione was scrunching her face into a frustrated frown, racking her brains to remember.
She'd kissed Malfoy.
And before that she'd agreed to help him with his mother's mystery – but that was before Malfoy had given her an ultimatium. Ron or Malfoy. She had chosen Ron out of pure loyalty, but how had she lived up to that loyalty? She'd gotten royally drunk at Ron's after party, made a fool of herself, and humiliated Ron. Not to mention she'd let it spill about the investigation. What kind of friend was she? What kind of person was she?
Hermione could feel hot tears welling up in her eyes and her face was becoming blotchy with red spots. She pleaded, "Ginny, please. Ginny, you know I'm always on Ron's side and I had no idea what I was getting myself or Ron into when I told Malfoy I'd help him. Please, please believe me."
Ginny looked like she was being torn in two directions. Finally battling her self-struggle, she choked out, "Hermione, you know I don't want to do what I have to do, but you've given me no choice. I know you didn't mean for any of this to happen, but eventually I'll have to choose between you and Ron and – and even though we're best friends, I have to side with my brother. I…I can't deal with this – I can't deal with you. You're drinking has gone beyond out of control. Just look at the mess you've made! You're not only endangering your own life but the lives of those around you. I can't take that risk anymore, Hermione."
"You want me to leave," said Hermione flatly. Her head was bowed and she knew what Ginny's response was going to be.
"Please understand my position," said Ginny softly. "I have every right to ask you to leave. You're a completely different person now. You drink away your problems and leave your mess for everyone else to clean up and you're just…not Hermione anymore. What kind of friend puts another friend in mortal danger? Why would you ever do anything to hurt Ron? He's never done anything but love you."
Hermione didn't respond – how could she to such a statement? – and simply lifted herself off the seat and made her way to the guest bedroom. She half-heartedly magicked all her belongings into suitcases and made her way to the front door.
Ginny called hesitantly after her, "Hermione – I think it's best if we don't speak until after the trial. Don't go to Harry or Ron either; it will only make things worse. And…good luck with your job."
Hermione shut the door softly behind her. She wouldn't let herself cry. What she needed right now was to be practical. Firstly she needed a place to stay. When she realized that the only people who would normally offer her room and board were currently not speaking to her, she knew she had no where to go. She had hit rock bottom for the second time in her life, this time the only difference being she wasn't going to let herself be lost again. She wasn't going to go through that period of confusion, self-deprecation, and self-doubt all over again. She didn't think she had the emotional strength to endure it for a second time.
She wandered through the streets of London aimlessly, her bags in spelled to trail behind her. She wasn't worried about being spotted – firstly because Ginny lived in a primarily Wizard neighborhood and second, by the looks of it, it was still relatively early in the morning. Hermione fished her mobile out of her coat pocket and saw that the time was 7:32AM. Bloody hell, she thought.
She walked to a nearby park and sat her things down beside her on the stone bench. Her seminar at the Ministry was tomorrow morning. She needed to prepare and become acquainted with the expectations of her new job. After sitting on the bench surreally for ten minutes, she decided impulsively that the best option at this point was The Leaky Cauldron. It was cheap, it was convenient, and it was her only choice.
She Apparated inside the bar area of the hotel/bar room. She pointedly avoided looking at the bar – alcohol was, after all, one of the main sources of all her problems. She knew it wouldn't be easy giving it up cold turkey, but she needed to. She realized that it controlled her life, dominated her decision making skills, and was ultimately ruining her life.
Tom the barman escorted her into the cheapest room available by request of Hermione. She might have a new job, but she wasn't making money just yet – she still needed to save her money for emergencies. She couldn't rely on anyone but herself. Her only friends that were speaking to her – Parvati and Colin – were in Scotland. She wasn't entirely sure about Colin; he might still be in London. Ron's game was only last night, after all.
Eager about the prospect of having a shoulder to lean on, she dialed in Colin's mobile number into her own. She waited after several rings for someone to pick up.
Finally she heard a cool female voice on the other end. "Hello?"
"Hello?" said Hermione, confused. "Have I got the right number? I'm looking for Colin Creevey."
"Oh, hold on," said the female, and Hermione could hear groans and rustling as the phone was presumably being passed to Colin.
"'Lo?" said Colin, sleep still apparent in his voice.
"Colin!" said Hermione. "Who was that girl? Another shag?"
She could just hear Colin's smirk. "Yeah, and a great one too. What's up? Why are you calling so early?"
"Colin, are you planning on staying in London for today? I really need someone to talk to," said Hermione, somewhat pathetically. She could already feel the tears welling up again, threatening to stream down her face.
"Yeah, 'course," said Colin, concerned. "I'll meet you as soon as I can. How's ten o' clock at Kensington Gardens? My hotel room is just by there."
Hermione sniffled as she replied, "Thanks, Colin."
Hermione spent the remainder of the morning contemplating the seriousness of her actions. What was she going to do about Ron? She would everything in her power to help him; even if it was indirect help since he didn't want to see her.
She was also surprised at Ginny. She respected her for putting her personal feelings aside and asking Hermione to leave. Ginny might be a feisty redhead with a lot of spunk, but she was also a caring, loving, and loyal friend. Despite kicking her out, Ginny had saved Hermione from a lot of drama. If she'd stayed with Ginny, Ron would have lost it. Ginny was thinking of others always.
When Hermione arrived in Kensington Gardens, donning a large blue scarf with her hair cascading over it, she felt hopeful. Maybe she could change things. Maybe she could be proud to be Hermione Granger again.
She sat the foot of the Peter Pan statue, snow falling on her hair and pigeons flying overhead. The statue was frosted at the top and there were still small blades of grass poking out over the snow. Seeing nature as it was – unaffected by mankind and all its problems – Hermione shed a single, lone tear for the world. She heard a click and saw a flash off to the right and turned to see Colin leaning against a tree, a black camera hung around his neck.
He smiled at her from afar, and motioned clicking a camera button with his fingers. He was wearing a black leather jacket with dark blue jeans. He walked over to her and sat at the foot of the statue also, slinging his arm around her shoulders.
"I think that might have been one of my best photos," he commented.
Hermione looked at him skeptically. "I'm sitting by a statue."
"Yes, but there's so much going on around you. You're a lone figure against a large, large world. With that tear coming down your cheek, I think it'll come out perfectly," said Colin. "So what's going on?"
Hermione let out a deep breath and told him everything. She was tired of evading the point, of leaving out information here and there. She told him what happened from start to finish, from the Christmas party to this morning, and didn't stop to breathe until she was done.
Colin frowned as she was nearing her story. Colin was very good friends with Ginny – they had dated on and off all throughout Hogwarts and had even been the one to take Ginny's virginity. Hermione thought he might have a hard time grasping an image of Ginny kicking Hermione out of her house.
Hermione finally finished and heaved a sigh. She leaned her head against Colin's shoulder and let him kiss the top of her head. She felt at peace with herself and never wanted to go back into the world of trials and murders and betrayals.
"Despite what Ginny told you, you need to talk to Ron and Harry," was Colin's first piece of advice. "Ginny may not be the best person to listen to when it comes to matters of the three of you. She doesn't know the inner workings of your relationships with Ron and Harry, and ultimately, you're the only one to decide if you should talk to them. My personal advice is that you should – you won't be happy until you do."
"But what about Malfoy?" asked Hermione. "Am I just supposed to forget about my promise to him?"
Colin opened his mouth hesitantly, giving Hermione a brief look of apology before he said, "I think…I think you might be falling in love with Malfoy."
Hermione choked so hard that Colin had to thump her back several times. "I'm sorry?" she spluttered.
Hermione wasn't going to deny what Colin had said – she herself had been thinking about it. She refused to believe she could fall in love so easily and so quickly with any man – especially a man whom she hated all throughout her school years. A man who hated her as well, and voiced his hatred everyday.
"How do you know if you're in love?" asked Hermione. "I realize you probably haven't found the one yet – but with Ginny, how did you know it was the right time to make love?"
Colin mulled over what she said thoughtfully. He finally said, "With Ginny, I don't think it was that I was in love with her, it was that we both wanted it. We both wanted to be in that moment – in that time of passion and adult-like feeling. It just happened, and afterwards of course we didn't regret it, but we were a bit apprehensive to do it again."
"But you still sleep around," argued Hermione. "Do you stop and think about it each time?"
A small smile tugged at Colin's lips. "I fall in love with each and every woman that I sleep with. I may not remember their names, but I remember how they felt, how they made me feel. I won't sleep with the same woman twice because I don't want to shatter that perfect image – that image of happiness. But don't for one second think that I don't care about the women in my life, Hermione."
"That's sweet, Colin," said Hermione softly. "But how does that help me? I hate to sound selfish, but my life is so screwed up right now that I don't know what to do. My new job starts tomorrow and I'm not ready. My best friend is going to stand trial for murder because I was stupid to involve myself with the case. I'm not ashamed to admit I have a serious drinking problem and I don't know how to control it."
Colin embraced her as he said, "If I could buy you a magical button that allowed you to stop time I would. If I could pay off your problems I would. But I can't. I can only tell you I love you and I support you. The only advice I can give you is to take each day one at a time and avoid going to bars or other social places with alcohol. Worry about yourself instead of Ron or Harry or Ginny. They're old enough to take care of themselves and they know you love them. Underneath their angry façade they know you care. You just need to focus on your job and your health and hope things will turn out for the best."
Hermione sniffed. "Stop time," she whispered.
Hermione's heels were clicking on the marble of the Ministry's fourth floor. She was confident with her head held high, ready for her seminar. She listened to all the lectures and procedures intently, taking notes with a self-writing quill. She was trying to remember Colin's advice, politely declining the passing waiter's offer of wine, and also trying to focus on her job instead of worrying about Ron.
However, during her hour long lunch breath she managed to get into the Aurors' offices by saying she was expecting Harry. She casually waved her wand and muttered a spell which photocopied the criminal reports of everyone with the last name beginning with W.
She hurriedly left the office and made herself comfortable in a secluded lobby area on the 6th floor. She looked over the papers until she found Weasley, Ronald Bilius and began to pour over the papers hungrily.
She heard a door open and looked up at Draco Malfoy's face. It felt like time had stopped. Hermione opened her mouth and then shut it again, never taking her eyes off Malfoy's. She felt her face redden and she jumped out of her seat and walked hurriedly out of the room.
She didn't want to think of their kiss. She especially didn't want to think that she might have enjoyed their kiss. She didn't want to admit that she was dying to know how Malfoy felt about all this; wanted to know what he was thinking at this very moment, and how he was dealing with the upcoming trial.
She heard footsteps behind her and sighed as she turned around, already knowing who she was going to see.
Malfoy was standing, hesitating slightly, not knowing whether to go forward or turn back.
"It's okay," he said quietly. So quietly that Hermione barely heard him and was almost going to ask him to repeat himself before he turned away and walked back into the lobby.
Hermione stood there for a few moments, dumbfounded. Malfoy was forgiving her. She didn't need to ask him to be specific because she knew. She knew that Malfoy was forgiving her and it felt wonderful. She felt free and liberated and ready to take on the world.
On her way back to the conference room she stopped to drink a glass of sherry. Her happiness over Malfoy's forgiveness had clouded her better judgment, and she justified drinking by saying it was a joyous celebration that called for a little drink.
She tried hard to pay attention for the rest of the afternoon. She couldn't help going back to the two words Malfoy had said – just those two words that had made her day. She could now help Ron and still be in Malfoy's good graces. Or somewhere very near to his good graces.
She returned to The Leaky Cauldron at the end of her day and eagerly met Colin for ice cream at Fortescue's for his last night in London. She enjoyed herself tremendously, feeling a large weight being lifted off her shoulders.