Chapter 15

Three days later, there was no improvement. Christmas Eve, everyone felt like crap. Well, everyone except Lily, she didn't feel anything but confused. Lily's parents were coming to pick her up soon and James felt that, although it wasn't his Lily that was with him, it was still a little comfort of having her here.

"Let's play chess!" Suggested Sirius

"Nahh," James replied, staring into the fire blankly.

"Wanna play a few pranks?"

"No…"

"Wanna pay Snivellus a visit?"

James shook his head.

"Wanna go harass somebody?"

James forced a laugh, "I don't think so…"

Sirius tried again, "How about Quidditch?"

"No."

Sirius gasped like James just cursed Merlin himself. He clutched a hand to his heart.

"Prongs! Tell me it's not true. TELL ME!" he started screaming shrilly, running around, and flailing his arms in all different directions. "It's Armageddon! End of the World! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" James hadn't moved. Just kept staring like it was deadly silent. Which was, of course, impossible if Sirius was present.

"I'm going for a gallop. I'll be back…when I get back…" James finally said, getting up and walking into the backyard without another word, to leave Sirius at a loss of what to do.

James changed in Prongs and ran through the forest connected to his mother's garden. The cool December air blowing against his fur. His hooves pounding into the ground. It felt good to just run. Get away from it all.

He felt incomplete. Lily was a part of him. 1/3 to be exact; Remus Sirius and Lily. That's what made him whole. It's what made him James Potter. He needed her, and soon. He didn't know how much longer he could take it. How much longer he could stay sane. And all this bloody thinking was just getting him even more frustrated with himself. He stopped, turned to a tree, looked and growled at it, and rammed into it with his antlers.

BAM

To those blasted Death Eaters

BAM

To Voldemort, how took to many innocent lives

BAM

To the blasted Cruciatus Curse

BAM

And finally, to him. It was his fault this happened to Lily. He wasn't paying attention and she had to pay the price. The curse was meant for him, although, the pain he was feeling now, he didn't want that for Lily either. He was torn, hurt, frustrated, confused and exhausted for the lack of sleep for 4 full days. This was his entire fault.

BAM

If he wasn't

BAM

so damn stupid

BAM

this would have

BAM

never happened.

BAM

James walked back slowly to the Potter manor. He transformed and went to take a shower and still hadn't said a word to anyone. When he got out, changed and clean, he stopped in Lily's room to see her sleeping, a small smile on her lips. He smiled down at her, pulled a chair next to her bed, took her hand and sat down. It was 3:00. He sighed heavily and watched her for the next three hours.

At about 6:30, James, Sirius, Rachel, and Anthony sat down to eat dinner. (Lily was still sleeping.) Lily screaming interrupted their dinner.

"JAMES!" Everyone stopped what they were doing and James and Sirius glanced at each other and Sirius whispered.

"Lily!" James shot up from the table but didn't move when he heard her frantic footsteps rushing down the stairs. She appeared at the bottom and cried as she rushed into James's arms. She threw her arms around his neck and wrapped her legs around his waist. She was sobbing into his shoulder. He was pushed hard with his back against the wall, holding Lily close to him.

"I remember…" Lily sobbed. "I remember everything. James…James I'm so sorry. I was weak…and…I left you…I was weak and ruined the vacation a-and everyone's Christmas-,"

"Lily?" James croaked through his tears of joy. "Shut up." And he kissed her like he hadn't been able to do in three painfully long days. "I missed you so much…" he said between kisses, " I thought I lost you…"

Lily pulled away so she was looking him in the eyes.

"You can't get rid of me that easily James Potter."

James laughed for the first time in a while and was happy to see her eyes had their sparkle back…

Love.

When Hazel meets Green

A/N: Sorry, my brother has a baseball tournament and had a game last night, this morning, and a double header on Monday…all of which I was/will be present for because I love him )

So, are you happy? Lily remembers and everything's a utopia…. pshhh…chyea right… Please please please review!

Thanks to all my reviewers! I love you guys!