Disclaimer: They're Dick's.
Author's Notes: Well, I know I said Confessions was just a one shot and would not have a sequel or a second chapter or anything...but I couldn't get rid of this. It keeps coming to me in dreams (which really freaks me out to tell you the truth), so I'm writing it. It's different from pretty much anything I've ever written before and will only continue to get more different as time goes on. Stick with me and I'll do my best not to let you down. This first chapter (there will most likely be several more) is a late birthday present for Christina - I hope you enjoy ;). I can't promise I'll update soon, but I'll do my best. Let me know what you think.

Read Confessions before reading this. It picks up where that left off.

"Okay," Casey says, sighing heavily and rolling her eyes at her friend from across the table. "What's going on with you?"

Olivia shakes her head and rubs her hand over her eyes. "Nothing. Nothing at all."

"Something's obviously up. You've been acting weird all week, Liv," Casey says softly. She waits, then rolls her eyes again when Olivia remains silent, thinking of how to best broach the subject. "Is this about Elliot?"

God knows she's always thought that subtlety is the best choice.

Olivia looks up suddenly, her eyes wide and tries to think of something to say. "Wh-why would it be about Elliot?"

"Because you made me meet you outside the precinct for lunch - I'm assuming so I wouldn't be able to ask him to go with us, and when I asked you where he was, you were so flustered you couldn't even answer. I know you guys have been working nonstop all week and you're exhausted, but there's something more going on and I'm betting it has to do with him. What happened?"

Olivia drops her forehead to her hands, her elbows resting on the table, and groans. "I have no idea."

Casey grins. "That sounds dramatic. What happened, Liv?"

"I spent all day Saturday with him and the twins," she says, still unable to look at Casey as she speaks. She's never been one for sharing things about her personal life with girlfriends. There were very few people she trusted with her secrets growing up, so she's learned to keep things inside. It wasn't until she was partnered with Elliot that she got used to talking about her past; not until she met this red headed lawyer with incredible manipulation skills that she got used to talking about the men in her life - or the lack thereof. "We played basketball in the park. And then we got pizza and watched a movie at Elliot's and..." she groans again before finally looking Casey in the eye and shaking her head, as if to say, 'fine, you win'. "He kissed me. I left the apartment and he followed me to the elevator and he kissed me."

"About damn time," she mumbles. "Was it a good kiss?" She asks after a moment, raising an eyebrow and smirking.

Olivia's face turns red and she turns away, laughing. "You would ask me that."

"Well, was it?"

Olivia smirks and looks down at her plate of untouched food. "It was..." she hesitates. "Let's just say that I've taken more cold showers on Sunday than I did in the previous four months combined."

"Huh. I'm surprised you haven't run out of batteries instead," Casey jokes. Olivia doesn't respond; she's laughing too hard, and she merely shakes her head, her face reddening even more. "Oh my God, you did, didn't you?"

Olivia rests her forehead on her arm, trying to catch her breath while Casey grins. "People are staring at us, aren't they?"

"Of course, but only because they're jealous of us," Casey assures her, still laughing. She finally manages to stop laughing and looks at Olivia again, noticing the sadness and fear in her eyes, all over a kiss with a man that everyone else knows she's in love with - not that Olivia's figured it out, of course. "Liv, what's the big deal? It's Elliot. So you liked kissing him? Kiss him again. Have sex with him for Pete's sake! Just don't share the details. I'll be jealous...and I'll never be able to look him in the eye again."

"Casey, he's my partner," Olivia whispers, shaking her head. "I can't... I've already screwed up that relationship once and almost lost him. I can't risk losing him for good."

"From the look of things, you two may have already screwed it up," Casey points out, laying her hand on her friend's arm. "But if one kiss has got you two this worked up, maybe there's something even better in store for you two." Olivia doesn't respond and Casey sighs, reaching across the table for the ketchup, pouring some on her plate before speaking again. "Olivia? Do me a favor and talk to him. Figure out how you feel and tell him before it's too late."

"I will," Olivia says softly, running a hand through her hair and leaning back against the booth cushion. Casey raises an eyebrow. "Really. I will. Soon. I promised Dickie I'd go to his baseball game tonight and I'm getting a ride there and back with Elliot, so we should have plenty of time to talk. ...Or maybe just sit there in an awkward silence."

- - -

Elliot stuffs his hands deeper into his pockets and says a silent prayer of thanks that the line at the concession stand is longer than usual. He needs the time to get his thoughts in order before getting into a car with Olivia and driving back to Manhattan from Queens. It's going to be one hell of a ride. After sitting just inches from her on the bleachers for the past hour and a half, he knows it's going to be impossible to ignore what happened on Saturday. He's going to have to talk to her about it somehow or else they'll both explode from the tension. He's trying to formulate a plan in his head, trying to figure out what the hell he's going to say to her when they finally get into the car...and how he's going to grow the balls to actually say it. He's so lost in thought that he doesn't hear footsteps on the concrete behind him as his ex-wife walks towards him.

"Hey there," Kathy says, putting her hand on his back. He jumps and turns to stare at her for a moment, willing his heart to stop racing. "You okay?" she laughs.

He laughs, too, shaking his head slowly. "Yeah, I'm fine. You just scared me."

"I'm glad you made it tonight," Kathy says after a moment. "I know Dickie was excited you were here. Olivia, too." She glances over at the parking lot where Olivia leans against Elliot's blue Honda Civic and laughs with Kathleen, Lizzie, and Dickie. "It was nice seeing her again. The kids think she's amazing."

Elliot nods absently and then turns to the teenager behind the counter, ordering two bottles of Coke and handing him three dollars and some change. "You're not getting anything?" Elliot asks when she turns to walk away with him.

She shakes her head. "No...I had to ask you a favor. Are you working this weekend?"

"We closed the case this morning," Elliot says, opening his coke and taking a sip. "Don gave me, Liv, John, and Fin until Monday off."

"Would it be okay if the twins spent Saturday night with you? Kathleen's spending the night at a friend's and I don't want them home alone for that long at night."

Elliot nods. "I'd love to have them for an extra night. Why won't you be around, though?"

She reddens slightly and nods when Elliot's eyes show that he finally gets it. "He's... Elliot, I..." she shakes her head, laughing quietly. "Will this ever be easy?"

"Probably not," Elliot says, laughing at the awkwardness along with her. "Kathy, you don't have to worry about it...I'm not angry like I was before. I miss having the kids around all the time, and I miss the way you and I used to be, but... This is better, for both of us, you know? It wasn't good for the kids to be around us fighting all the time and it wasn't good for you to be with me when I couldn't be there for you when you needed me to be."

Kathy smiles softly and lays her hand on his forearm. "What about you? Are you happy?"

Elliot shrugs, a small smile on his face. "Sometimes. Usually."

"You seeing anybody?" Kathy asks, arching an eyebrow at him. He can tell by the look on her face that her real question has something more to do with why Olivia's here tonight.

"I really don't know," he says after a moment, laughing at the absurdity of his answer. Kathy motions toward Olivia and Elliot nods, shrugging. "I don't know... It's... It's complicated."

"Elliot, just tell her how you feel," Kathy says giving him a reassuring smile. "Olivia's too scared to ever tell you first, so you may as well just do it. I guarantee she feels the same way. Hell, she has for years."

"Wait, what?" Elliot says, staring at her in disbelief.

"I'm not saying..." Kathy sighs, shaking her head, unable to believe she got herself into this mess. She doesn't want to be talking about this with him. Her ex-husband, the man she loved for most of her life might be moving on, and despite the fact that she's already started to, it still hurts to think about it. She doesn't want to know and she certainly doesn't want to be in the middle of it. But she still loves him enough to want him to be happy. "It's obvious to anyone who's around you two that she's in love with you. And it's obvious that you're head over heels in love with her." She sees that he's about to speak and shakes her head. "You don't even need to say it, Elliot. I know nothing happened while we were married. If there's one thing I never doubted about you, it's that you are much too honorable for that. And I don't know Olivia enough to make too many judgments about her character, but she has never seemed like the type of person who would have gotten involved with a married man. At least not one whose wife and kids she spent so much time around."

"Kathy..." He shrugs after a moment of trying to find the right words, shaking his head. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not," she says, giving him a reassuring smile. "I'm happy for you, El, if this works out, because I know how you feel for her, and I want you to be happy. I want us both to move on with our lives so that this doesn't have to be weird anymore."

"You know, I know guys whose ex-wives are..." he shakes his head, smirking, unable to find the right description. "Let's just say you're nothing like them."

"I know, I am pretty damn fantastic, aren't I?" she says with a smile and starts walking back towards the parking lot. "I'll drop the kids off at four on Saturday, okay?" He nods, walking beside her in silence. He looks up, catching the sight of Olivia, looking so different from Detective Benson in tight jeans and a low-cut white T-shirt, her head thrown back, laughing at Dickie's Elvis impression. He grins, then looks down at his feet. Kathy smiles at him and rolls her eyes. "You're both so in love that you don't even see it," she says. "Just tell her, Elliot."

"I will," he promises, unable to wipe the smile off of his face when they get close enough that he can hear his partner's laughter.

Kathy watches as Elliot hands her the soda and notices the way she looks at him - quickly, as if she won't allow herself to meet his gaze for too long. The second he turns his back, though, she looks at him again, watching as he puts Dickie in a headlock, both of them laughing. Olivia watches him intently, a small smile on her face, and Kathy can tell that she was right.

They don't stand a chance at ignoring it for long.

- - -

"Want to get a beer?" Elliot asks as he drives off the Queensboro bridge and heads uptown through the streets of Manhattan. It's just after nine and the streets are already dark and uncharacteristically quiet. "Might as well celebrate having a three-day weekend."

Olivia smiles. "Amen. I'm just glad we closed that damn case. I need to catch up on my sleep."

"Yes you do," Elliot smirks. "You're in dire need of some beauty rest," he teases, wincing when she smacks him in the arm. "So what do you say? Let me buy you a beer at O'Malley's?"

"I'm not really in a bar mood," she says with a smile. "I've got beer in my refrigerator. You can buy next time." She turns toward the window. "Besides...we need to talk, don't you think?" She doesn't even have to say, about what happened last weekend. He knows that she's been thinking about it, too.

"Yeah. We do," he says, looking at her out of the corner of his eye. He watches her at the red light, the way she reclines the seat slightly and rests her head against the window, watching the streets outside as they sit in silence.

She turns to look at him after a moment, right before the light changes, a smile spreading across her face when she realizes he was staring at her. He reddens and turns away, but she ignores it. For now. "Dickie's really good at baseball. Did he take after Kathy's side of the family or something?" she teases.

Elliot glares, but can't help the smile that makes it's way to his face at the mention of his son. Truth be known, he'd be proud of him even if he couldn't throw a ball. "The Varsity coach is already talking to him about training and he's only starting ninth grade next year. He wants him starting by the time he's a sophomore."

"Wow, that's great," Olivia says. "Lizzie plays basketball, right?"

"Yeah," Elliot says, then smirks. "She doesn't cheat as much as I do, though."

"She's better than you. She doesn't need to," Olivia tells him as he pulls into a parking spot about a block from her building. She follows him out of the car and they walk the rest of the way to her building and up the three flights of stairs in near silence. Elliot watches as she unlocks the door and then follows her inside, locking it behind them and following her into the kitchen. "Beer or a Smirnoff?" she asks, reaching into her refrigerator.

"Beer," he says, leaning against the counter and raising an eyebrow. "Who drinks Smirnoff?"

"I do," she says with a smirk, and hands him a bottle of Guinness before opening her own bottle of Smirnoff Ice. "It tastes better than that."

"Then why do you have it?" Elliot asks, laughing. "I thought you liked beer."

"Casey drinks it. We had dinner last weekend and she left it here. And I only drink beer when I'm out with you guys so I don't have to hear eight hundred sarcastic comments about women not being able to hold 'real alcohol'," Olivia explains, leaning against the counter with only a few inches between them. "Elliot, I-" "Olivia-" they say at the same time and Olivia smiles. "You first," she tells him and he nods.

"Last weekend..." he starts, looking down at the floor, at their feet right next to each other. He takes a deep breath and starts again, still looking at the floor, staring intently at the pattern of her blue and white linoleum. "I like spending time with you, Liv. I like being around you outside of work."

"Is that why you kissed me?" she asks, smiling slightly.

He laughs. "Yeah. That's why I kissed you." He shrugs and turns to face her. "You just...you looked so beautiful that day. I couldn't let you leave without trying to kiss you."

"Oh, so I look like shit every other day?" she jokes, raising an eyebrow. He rolls his eyes at her and she blushes slightly, looking away. "Sorry. I have trouble taking compliments, I think."

"Wow, I never knew that about you," he says, his words dripping with sarcasm.

She nods a couple of times, laughing quietly, then looks back up at him. "I like spending time with you, too," she tells him, forcing herself to remain serious and not resort to sarcasm and jokes to avoid emotion and truth.

"Is that why you kissed me?" he asks.

She shakes her head and looks down again, the words she's about to speak too full of truth for direct eye contact. "I kissed you because after you kissed me, I lost all powers of thought and reason," she admits, laughing. She turns her head towards him and is met by his lips crashing against hers. She doesn't fight him, even though she feels like there's still more to talk about, and allows him to part her lips with his tongue and stroke it against hers as he presses her against the counter, moving so his body is right in front of hers. She rests her hands on the back of his head, guiding the kiss, and jumps when he slides his hands underneath her shirt to stroke the skin of her sides and stomach. She breaks the kiss, pressing her forehead against his and fighting for air. She moves her hands from his head, her arms wrapping around his neck. "Elliot, what are we doing?"

"I'm not entirely sure what you're doing, but I'm trying to fight the urge to take you up against the counter," he says, his voice heavy with desire as he whispers in her ear.

She laughs at his response, but can feel the wetness between her legs grow at his words and moans slightly when he moves against her, his erection pushing against his jeans as his mouth moves to her neck, to her shoulders, to the area of her chest left exposed by her low-cut t-shirt. "El...we need to talk about this before we do something we regret," she says, his tongue drawing circles on her collar bone. "Elliot."

He nods and looks up at her, his hands still wandering over her body, eliciting a moan when they walk up underneath her shirt and gently pinch her nipple through her black bra. "What do we need to talk about?" he asks, smirking slightly as she arches toward him.

"Elliot," she says firmly, grabbing his wrist and holding his hand still in her shirt. She looks him in the eye and tries to look like she really wants him to stop. She fails miserably. "Please. We need to talk about this first and if you keep doing that, I won't be responsible for my actions." He nods and moves his hands to rest on the small of her back, still pressing her against her counter. "Shouldn't we wait?" she asks after a moment and then looks down towards the floor. "I understand if that's-"

"Olivia." He knows where she's going with this and wants to correct her before she even says the words. He pauses and then presses his forehead against hers. "I would wait a lifetime for you. What I feel for you...it's not just about sex, Liv. Yes I want to make love to you, and yes I think it's going to be amazing when we do. But given the choice between having sex with someone else, and simply being with you for an indeterminate length of time without sex ... I choose you."

She smiles and hides her face against his neck, laughing slightly. "Don't worry, El, I want this as much as you do, so you won't be waiting too long for the sex. I just think...shouldn't we wait? Go on some dates first or something?"

He grins. "Liv, if you think we should go out on dates first, then we'll go on dates first. But I've spent eighteen hours a day by your side for the past eight years. Do you really think that getting a cup of coffee or seeing a movie is going to change anything?" He stops her before she can speak. "And I'm not just saying that because I want to have sex with you. I really think that."

"You don't know..." she pauses. "The things you know about me are the things you need to know when I'm your partner. How I take my coffee. What I talk about on long stake outs. My favorite food. You don't know the things you need to know if we're seeing each other...and sleeping together."

"Like what?" he asks and she gently pushes him away from her so they can look each other in the eye. He leans against the island in the middle of her kitchen, a few feet between them and looks at her curiously. "Tell me the things I need to know. I'm not going to learn those things by going to movies with you, so tell me."

She shrugs. "I don't know... I..." she pauses. "I hog the covers," she says after a moment. "I always get cold when I'm sleeping, so I use more than my fair share."

He shrugs. "I get hot when I'm sleeping, so that'll work out fine."

"I drink milk straight out of carton," she admits, blushing slightly. "Orange juice, too. I don't see the point in using glasses since I'm the only one here, and it'll take me a while to get used to you being around. It might still happen."

"Liv, I'm a guy. I do that all the time," he laughs. "What else? What other deep, dark secrets do you have that might keep me from wanting to be with you?"

"When I get home from work after a bad case, I watch The X-Files. It's the only thing that still scares me...and I'd rather have nightmares from aliens and monsters than from the things we see every day. So I watch it." She grins, chewing on her bottom lip, as if deciding whether or not she should tell him. She decides to go for it and looks away, too embarrassed to look him in the eye. "I own all nine seasons on DVD."

He grins. "Really? I never pegged you as an X-Files fan."

She shrugs. "See? There are a lot of things you don't know about me."

"So let me figure them out, Liv," he says, moving towards her again. "The only way I'm ever going to know is if I'm here, spending time with you. Getting to know you. Sleeping next to you."

"I haven't been in a relationship that's lasted longer than six months since I was in high school, Elliot," she says, looking down at the floor, then back up at him, tears in her eyes. "And that's fine. I like my life fine the way it is. I have friends, I don't really get lonely... But what if you..." she takes a deep breath, swiping angrily at the tears she hadn't meant to let fall. "What if we don't last? What if we're making a mistake and we regret it later and then our friendship is ruined? I can't lose you, Elliot. You're the only family I have. You're... I can't lose you," she repeats, now crying openly at the thought.

"You won't," he says, shaking his head and pulling her into his embrace. "Maybe we won't work out, Olivia, but we need to try. I can't not try. I can't keep wondering. And even if we don't work out, you won't lose me. You're my partner, my best friend. I'd never be able to give you up, no matter what happens between us."

She pulls back from him a little and looks into his eyes. "I don't want to hurt you, Elliot. What if-"

"Stop," he says gently, shaking his head and pressing his forehead to hers, rubbing his nose against hers in a soft Eskimo kiss. "The only way you could hurt me is if you said that you didn't even want to try. I don't..." he hesitates for a moment, but eventually continues. "I don't know if I'm in love with you, Liv. I don't. All I know is that what I feel for you is more than just friendship. It's more than just you being my partner and my closest friend. I've never felt like this before. Not even with Kathy. Maybe it's not love, but it's something."

She doesn't respond at first, her eyes closed as she plays with the hair at the base of his neck. Finally she takes a breath and pulls him closer, moving her mouth to his ear. "Make love to me," she whispers, reaching for the waist of his jeans and unbuckling his belt. "I don't need the third date rule or any of that bullshit," she tells him, shaking her head. "I just need you."

"Let's go to your bedroom," Elliot says, slowly pulling her shirt off over her head and walking backwards out of her kitchen and through the living room. He gently pushes her onto the bed and leans over her, unbuttoning and unzipping her jeans and pulling them off and to the floor. "God you're beautiful," he says, looking her in the eye as he slowly removes her black satin underwear and then moves so he's lying in between her legs, his jeans pushed low on his hips.

"You're pretty damn hot yourself," she tells him, pushing his jeans down as far as she can with her hands, then the rest of the way with her feet. She reaches into his boxers as he sucks her nipple into his mouth, arousing her further. "Jesus," she half hisses, half moans, as he brings his teeth into the mix. She pushes his boxers down on his hips and pulls him out, gently moving against him, her fingers massaging him, hardening him even more.

"Liv," he groans, stopping her ministrations. "If you want me to make love to you, you better stop that."

She smiles and then moans as Elliot suddenly slips a finger inside of her, his tongue returning to her breasts. "Elliot...please..." she groans, finally managing to push him onto his back, straddling his hips. She reaches into the bedside table, keeping him pinned to the bed, and finds a package of condoms. He watches as she opens it with her teeth, throwing the wrapper to the side and slowly slipping it over his erection. "Is this okay?" she asks of their position.

He groans, unable to keep a smile off his face. "I quite like the view from here."

She smiles and leans over him, kissing him slowly, passionately, full of desire. She reaches for him and slowly guides him inside of her, stretching her muscles as she slides down over top of him. He groans and holds onto her hips, meeting each of her thrusts with one of his own.

His tongue buries itself in her mouth, his hands still controlling her thrusts against him. He knows he's close, and he can tell from her breathing and the increased speed of her thrusts that she is, too. He rolls them until she's on her back, her legs wrapped around his back. She looks up at him and the look on her face is about enough to make him come right then and there. He closes his eyes and tries to breath, attempting to move deeper inside of her, finding just the right spot. His mouth moves to her neck, then to her breasts, hoping to push her over the edge.

"Elliot," she moans, trying to thrust up, but unable to get the leverage she needs. "Don't stop," she pleads, searching for something to hold onto. She digs her fingernails into his shoulder blades, a warmth spreading throughout her entire body. She buries her face in his neck and lets herself scream as she comes, her whole body convulsing around him, causing him to scream out his release as well.

He rolls them onto their sides, still inside of her, and caresses her lower back, his lips moving slowly against hers, his tongue just barely parting her lips. "Wow," she says, breaking away.

"Yeah," he breathes, and finally removes himself from inside of her, sitting up on the edge of the bed and removing the condom as she runs her nails down his back. He moves back to lay on the bed next to her and reaches for her, running his fingers through her hair. "Now are you glad we didn't wait to have sex?"

She grins, her eyes closed, and nods. "Mmm...Elliot?" she asks, already half asleep.

"Yeah?" he asks, his hand resting on her abdomen, running across the soft skin of her stomach and chest and breasts.

"Can we keep this a secret for a while? At work, I mean. I don't want to deal with Munch and Fin's bullshit...and Cragen's going to have a heart attack if he finds out. Maybe we should just wait a while before we tell them."

"Munch and Fin are going to know," Elliot says with a smirk. "The second they see us Monday morning, they'll know. But we can keep it from them for as long as you want. I think..." he pauses. "We need to tell my kids, though. That we're seeing each other. They'll figure it out pretty quick and I don't want to have to hide our relationship from them."

She nods. "Okay," she says, yawning, and moving closer to him, resting her head against his chest. He rubs her back in rhythmic circles and plays with her hair, staring at the ceiling as she falls asleep against him.

He wants to tell her. He wants to say the words, but he knows it would be ridiculous to tell her this soon. She'd just look at him like he was crazy and tell him there's no way he could know that yet. So he presses his lips to the skin just below her ear and mouths them, hoping that maybe, just maybe, they'll find their way into her dreams, so she'll know.

"I love you," he says. "I know you won't believe me, but I do. More than anything."

To be continued.