I'm back from ohioo! Woop woop… mk I'm going to try and make this chap better…. I did some more thinking on the long car ride bout the story and I have some real good ideas so yea anyways hope you like this next chap!

Chapter 4 – Switching Off the Safety Trigger-

"Heero old pal!" the braided man came up to him and slapped him on the back. "Where have you been the past five years? Has anything new happened in your life? I can't believe you're actually here. I mean wow! Last time…" he was cut off by Trowa. Thank god, Heero didn't think he could take much more already.

"We don't have much time let's go"

The five men headed down the airport hall, their pace quickening at each step. Heero kept his eyes to the ground, and even then he could feel the stares of the other three men. They all had to be around 23 now. He would've thought they had changed physically; but they hadn't. One quick glance at them told him enough.

The walk to the car waiting outside was long and painful for Heero. He couldn't imagine what was going through Quatre, Duo, and Wufei's head at the moment. When Heero finally took a seat in the car he realized that the trip to the base was going to be even worse than the walk to the vehicle. He chose to remain silent, and his cold hard face hoped to scare away their questions and comments.

After about 10 minutes into the drive, the awkward silence was broken, surprisingly, by Quatre.

"So uhhh, Heero, what's new?" his voice seemed a tad shaky, his words uneasy.

"Hn" he grunted back, knowing fully well that he couldn't just blurt out: 'Well, I've gotten an addiction to weed, which isn't that bad actually, and I've expanded my knowledge on the several types of whiskey and vodka.'

He turned his head to glare out the window, hoping his body language would tell the others to leave him alone.

Trowa realized this when he looked to his rear-view mirror while driving. For an odd reason, it made his insides burn. Here he was, with all the others, who had been close friends to this man for years; and Heero gave them no respect when meeting up five years later.

"Don't bother, he's still mad. It wasn't easy getting him here." He blurted out on impulse.

Heero shot him a killing glare through the mirror but decided not to react. He stared back out the window, and for the rest of the car ride he put up with the awkward silence.

When the car pulled into the hidden, camouflage mansion in the middle of the forest, Heero immediately grabbed the handle to the backseat door. Taking his one tiny suitcase with almost all of his life's belongings, he walked hurriedly into the mansion, trying his best to ignore the others. He needed to get away, and quick before he did something too irrational.

The four baffled pilots stood outside the car, watching the angry man walk away into the darkness of the forest. Quatre's eyes almost couldn't believe it. Heero had always had a kind of introverted and cold character; but it had not been this bad.

"Man, what's got him?" Duo shook his head.

Trowa shrugged, knowing very well what had grabbed the perfect soldier. He chose not to say anything as he walked along side the other three.

"So much for a happy reunion…" Quatre sighed.

"If you ask me, I think he's turning into a pmsing weak onna." Wufei's eyes narrowed at the disappearing silhouette of his angry friend.

Trowa found himself almost smirking. The whole group had never been together since the end of the war, and he realized that when they were together, it was all the same. Wufei was still the cranky impatient man he had always been, Quatre the innocent peacemaker, and Duo the annoying joke cracker. It was as if they had traveled back in time to when they had all been teenagers.

The other four pilots followed the perfect soldier into the base/mansion and began to look around. It had been ages since they had last been here. The place hadn't changed a bit. Its wood furnished stairwell was still cleanly polished and not a spot of dust could be found on the sleek marble floor. Large frames adorned the walls along the stairwell, each containing a picture of a doctor.

Heero felt a sense of home in it, something he hadn't felt for a while. Had he really been that displaced?

Their thoughts were interrupted when a speaker turned on and a voice boomed through the building.

"Glad to see you made it here on time, and together for once" a slight chuckle could be heard from J's voice.

The pilots nodded, waiting for their next instruction.

"You're gundams are fully restored and are being stored below the take-off turf. I expect each of you to get some sleep, because your first mission, in the past five years, starts in 6 hours. There are five rooms upstairs ready for you. Please read your e-mails on further instructions." J's voice became severely concerned as he continued to talk. There was a pause, and J gave his last sentence.

"And pilots…. Good luck…" the speaker was cut off and the pilots were left standing in the middle of the entrance hall, silent.

Heero read the worried look on Quatre and Duo's face. Both were disturbed by the hint of concern in J's voice. J had never displayed an emotion like that. He was dead serious about this mission. It seemed unfair that their hardest mission was when they thought they had completely grasped onto peace.

Heero took the initiative and began to head up the stairs. He could feel the stares of the other pilots on him, but chose to ignore them. He opened the first door possible and quickly shut it behind him. 'Finally alone'. He flicked the dim light on and set his things down. Grabbing his laptop and a chair he sat down and readied himself for his first mission ,well, in along time.

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Heero,

Your next mission will not be easy, and I find it very disappointing to say I will be surprised if all of you make it out ok. I have faith in the five of you though that there is still a chance.

Do you remember the base you saw on my laptop? Well, that's where you'll be headed. I have never seen a base so heavily guarded ,and not only that but with extremely high trained soldiers. I'm not asking you to go inside just yet. I need you to locate the security cameras on the base and a weak spot in its power shield for later use. Once you find the weak spot, destroy the cameras. I guarantee that they will not be replaced in time for the mission following this. You'll be taking care of sections A-1 and A-2 of the base. The other four will take care of their share. If at all you are in severe danger, abort the mission so we can plan another way to getting in the base.

Good Luck

-J

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Heero shut his lap top roughly and threw it on the ground. Pieces of metal and plastic exploded across the room. He couldn't believe J was making him do this. His fighting days were long over. He had killed enough people, shed enough blood. He didn't even have a will to fight. This wasn't his fucking war to fight anymore. His fists clenched up and he almost felt like jumping through the window. His fist instead slammed into the wall, leaving a large, splintered dent. The pain felt relaxing to his anger, and he stared at his hand, realizing it was bleeding heavily. He didn't care to bandage it up. It didn't matter anymore. He wished everything would just go away. His thoughts were suddenly broken when he heard a knock at the door.

"Heero? Everything ok in there man?" Heero could imagine the braided man's confused face waiting outside his door.

Without even asking, Duo opened the door and peered in cautiously. His forehead greeted the cold, black, metal of Heero's gun.

"Omae O Korosu" his grip tightened.

"Well at least everything hasn't changed" Duo muttered under his breath, pushing Heero's gun aside.

"What the hell happened in here?" Duo's eyes widened when he saw the mess of the laptop all over the floor and the large hole in the wall.

"Hn" Heero turned his back on Duo and retreated to the back of his room to rummage through some of his things. This gave him a reason to avoid conversation.

Duo shook his head and took another step into the room. He hoped to get at least something out of Heero. What if this was his last chance to talk to his fellow pilot ever again?

"Care to share what's happened the past five years?" hoping his voice sounded casual enough.

Heero remained silent and continue to 'rummage' through his few items.

"Hellloooo, Heeerrrooo. Ya there?" Duo stepped up to him and playfully grabbed Heero's extra green tank out of his bag.

Duo gave Heero a smirk but when Heero took his gun and pressed it to his head again, it disappeared.

"Leave me… alone" Heero gave Duo a stare that sent chills down his back. He had never seen Heero so cold hearted.

Duo's eyes narrowed and he backed up to the door. Heero's gun followed him.

"I always thought there was some good in you. Maybe that was back then, because I'm definitely wrong. You're not who I thought you were." With that, Duo turned and slammed the door behind him, leaving a somewhat dazed Heero.

He stood frozen staring at the spot where Duo had just been. Suddenly, and uncontrollably, he felt a twang of guilt tugging at him. He tried his best to force it down. 'What the fuck is wrong with me! There's a mission tomorrow!' He knew he couldn't display his emotions, it was bad for his fighting, but he still didn't seem to acknowledge that he was going to be fighting again. He shook his head, and for real this time, rummaged through his belongings.

He felt the satisfying touch of cool glass and pulled out a bottle of Grey Goose. He took the bottle with him to the light switch and flicked it off. He then set his alarm for 3:50 am, 5 hours from now, and collapsed on his bed. The pale moon shone through his bedroom window and left a reflection on the floor. The pieces of broken metal reflected its light.

He opened the bottle and threw the cap aside. He shoved it to his mouth and let the liquid flow continuously down his throat in one long sip. He took a breather and stared at the bottle, it was already a quarter gone. He took a sigh as he felt the alcohol take a slight affect on him. He felt his anger escape him and silence overcame his emotions. He then realized how quiet the building was now. It sounded as if everyone was in bed.

He knew better than that though. No one could possibly be asleep knowing what lay ahead of them. This was their first mission in five years of no fighting. They also had other things to worry about. Quatre had a wife and kids to worry about, knowing he may never see them again. Duo was probably wondering what would happen to his comedy show if he never came back, or the friends he mad made along the road. Wufei was probably wondering what would happen to his national title, or his instructors. And Trowa was probably thinking of his sister, and what she was doing at the circus, hoping he would see her again.

They were all attached to some form of happiness, which he knew he didn't have. And while he knew it was better not to be attached to forms of emotions for fighting, he wished he had something. Heero shook his head at the last thought and drowned it with another long sip of vodka.

He stared at the clock; 12:00am. Four hours left. Damn it! He slapped himself, it had to be a dream, fighting again felt so unreal. He let his hand drop to his side and he felt the cold metal of his gun.

'What if?' he thought. He wouldn't have to fight anymore. He wouldn't have to worry about his troubles, the pain he felt, or the nightmares he got every night.

Without even thinking, he felt his gun being raised to his head. Was he for real? It seemed so reasonable, so easy. A pull of a trigger and everything would be gone and nothing would matter anymore. He could go numb, in fact he already was. It had to be better than what he had now.

A faint click told him he had turned off the safety trigger. His mind rushed through the events in his life, thinking of everything in his life. It was continuous killing. He felt his hand trembled as he began to apply pressure to the trigger. Sweat dripped down his face.

This was it, the last few minutes of his life. It was so easy. Something suddenly began to tug at him however. Was it instinct? Or was it something else? He couldn't decide it, but something firm held him back, as if warning him. It was as if fate was telling him it wasn't his time.

He wanted it so bad, but the odd feeling telling him something was ahead grew stronger. By now his hand was trembling dangerously and his palm was sweaty. Like it or not, his gun slipped out of his sweaty hand and made a loud clank on the floor, waking him from his daze.

He laid there frozen, half confused as to what had just happened. What had that feeling been? Did he really want to die now? He became aware of his heavy breaths, and the sweat pouring down his face. For some odd reason he felt the moon shine brighter than before on his face. He squinted his eyes and turned his back to the window.

Slowly becoming more aware of his surroundings, he realized he still had the bottle of vodka in his hand. Craving for more he put it once again to his mouth, this time not stopping until he knew the bottle was empty. It felt so good running down his throat, and warming his stomach. He gave a sigh of relief when he was done and his hand weakly dropped the bottle to the ground. Broken shards of glass joined the pieces of his laptop.

He took a quick glance at the clock, 1:30am. At any chance he would've reacted angrily had he not been so relaxed and under the affect of the alcohol. Within seconds after, he felt his eyes droop and his body sink into a deep sleep.

/--Dream--\\

Heero felt the gun against his head. The trembling of his hand with sweat dropping down it, seemed too familiar. He heard the click of the safety trigger going off. Now he was really going to die. This time he was going to do it. He wasn't going to listen to his future now.

He smiled, knowing he was about to lose his worries, his scars, nightmares and troubles. Everything would leave him.

Slowly, his hand began to apply pressure to the trigger. Finally, this was it.

Right before he finished the job, a hand grabbed his gun away from his head. He couldn't see the person or their face, but their hand was silky smooth. Their skin was a pale cream color, their fingers painted silver. It had to be a woman. Her hands were beautiful. 'Wait, what the hell?' he thought to himself.

"Who the hell are you?" he screamed, wishing he could see her face, wishing he could end it all. She replied, by taking the gun and pointing it towards the door. She was going to waste his last bullet.

"BAM!"

/--End of Dream--\\

He shot up. Heero's alarm clock raged with heavy drum beats and a loud base guitar. 3:50 am. 'Fuck'. It was time.

Heero's head throbbed in pain and his eyesight was blurred heavily. Once again, he had a horrible hang over from the amount of alcohol. He slowly forced himself out of bed and grabbed his gun, which was still on the floor. Eight minutes left until he had to be in his gundam and flying towards the base. Eight minutes until he was fighting and killing again.

His stomach churned and dizziness swept over him, almost sending him to his knees. He pulled himself into the bathroom, his stomach doing cartwheels inside of him. He leaned over the sink, staring into the drain. It all came out of him, fast and hard. He heaved three times, and it burned his throat. Once it was gone, he felt much better, well, stomach wise.

He quickly washed out the sink and rushed out the door. Five minutes left.

As he sprinted towards the underground base, he tried his best to regain full eyesight but it wasn't easy. Things doubled and moved in slow motion. He could get used to it however. He was the perfect soldier right? Maybe not anymore.

Heero opened the last door and walked into the huge store room where all five gundams stood, gleaming, revived and ready for action. He caught his first glimpse of Zero. The sight of his gundam drew him closer and he walked slowly towards it until he was face to face with it.

Heero had tried to shut Zero out of his wind, wiping his memory off the face of the planet. And Zero stood once again in front of him, ready to kill more people. This Gundam had destroyed so much.

Heero looked around, noticing the other pilots were doing the same as him. He knew they were all regretting this, but were willing to fight for their peace and freedom once again. He wasn't sure if he could do this anymore.

A siren went off, meaning Heero had no more time to think anymore, no time to run away now. Zero opened and moved down, exposing the piloting area that Heero used to spend hours in everyday. Inside, his space suit awaited him. He took a hard jump and realized he wasn't as out of shape as he thought he was. He entered the piloting area and the door closed behind him the same time as the other gundams closed up. As quickly as possible he put on his space suit.

He felt a lurch and realized he was moving upward towards the take-off turf. As soon as his suit was on he sat down in the familiar chair. He ran his hands slowly over all of the controls. Their purpose and meaning were still engraved into his memory. He turned auto pilot on when he felt the moving of the platform stop.

This was it. This is where the fighting began and continued again. This is where his nightmares resurfaced. His eyes stared at his feet. He couldn't bear to look up but he knew he had to. With the strength he could muster, he looked up to the sky and controlled Wing Zero into space. He was finally flying again. Finally about to kill again.

--Now comes the GOOD stuff next chapter!

Hey guys! Sorry I haven't written in a while! I've been extremely stressed with all my sports and school work. And I still have midterms left! EEK!Oo….So anyways PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEEEE leave reviews… I really need the support for this story to continue!