Cloudless Sky
Chapter 12: That Look
It's hard to master that look.
That look that tries to say that everything's still the same between us, but it still shows a hint of distrust, no matter what you try to do to cover it.
Sakura has mastered that look.
Temari's pack suddenly felt heavy as she finished tying the straps on her fan tighter and turned to face them.
Sakura smiled that 'everything is fine' smile and Ino was trying, and failing miserably. Maybe it was because she hadn't had as much experience as Sakura had. Pain makes it easier to mold that look. If it was one thing Temari and Sakura now had in common, it was loss.
It was also the thing that was, at this second, tearing them apart. There had become a barrier between them, built by the darkest kind of deceit—betrayel.
She had lied to them all along. But while they felt loss, she had the pain of knowing that he was alive, that he was feeling the same pain as she did. Why didn't they understand that this was what hurt even more than the loss they felt?
But that was just it—they didn't understand. Maybe they were stupid, maybe they didn't need to understand, to lie to themselves, that everything was just fine, and that it didn't matter.
A ninja's life is hard.
This is the first thing her mother told her when she was just two, and she told her that she wanted to be a ninja, and she wanted to defend her country.
It takes skill.
Her mother told her this when she received her fan a few months later. Temari had grinned that toothless grin of a child, and had told her that she had that hands down.
Emotions are cast away, and with that, your nindo is born.
Temari had been told this when she was three, when her mother became pregnant with Gaara. Temari had blinked, and not understanding, laughed. That's easy too, she had said, I will do anything to become strong. Her mother had frowned, a hint of pain in her eyes, and then smiled the same look that Sakura had smiled at now.
Temari forced herself a try at that look, although her eyes wouldn't go along with it.
Suddenly Ino smiled that smile, and closed her eyes, perfecting the look. Temari blinked. She was hiding it, the anger she was feeling. Ino could have quite a temper. Temari was surprised that she was keeping her own emotions under control.
Temari dropped the look, letting the fakeness fall away, and letting the pain drift back into her. Sakura blinked, but kept the look.
No one said anything for a short while that felt like forever.
"Take...care, Temari-san." Sakura said finally. No emotion hinted at her voice. She was trying to be forgiving, but Temari knew she didn't deserve it. 'Temari-san, now, then? No Temari?' Temari thought with a silent snicker. What pain opened a chasm between the once-friends.
"You don't mean that, Sakura-san." Temari said in an almost amused voice. Sakura and Ino looked taken aback, then smiled that sad smile.
"You're right. I don't think I do." Sakura answered. Temari nodded, then turned to leave, with not a word more.
Sakura and Ino watched as their lost friend trudged into the forest.
Temari's steps crunched leaves as she followed the road out of Konoha. She gave into the urge to look up at the sky, hoping that maybe, today, there would be a hint of happiness in the sky's realm.
No clouds.
An utterly cloudless sky.
Just as it had been for the last months, the whole year that he had been gone. She could swear that no clouds had entered that sky. Only that gray haze, that sad overcast feeling that came with it.
And, somehow, Temari knew that it would stay that way.
Unless she acted upon an impulse.
---
"Get out here, you piece of shit! We're having a briefing. Kakuzu's gone God damn psychopathic again on the bounties we lost. Seriously, I swear to God—" Came a thoroughly disgusted voice. Shikamaru opened the door wordlessly before he could finish his tirade. Hidan just scowled. "Anyway, they need you to be the unbiased speaker or some dumbass job like that." Hidan said, waving his arm in the air, obviously frustrated.
Shikamaru had never liked Hidan, he was ignorant and cocky, but now, he seemed to hate him even more. He brushed past him, pushing him into the door, causing Hidan to fall to the ground clumsily, caught off guard.
Hidan didn't spend any time thinking of what his colorful language his tirade would consist of this time.
"You've gotta be fucking kidding me! You—you're gonna go to hell for this, you Goddamn bastard! Making a damn fool out of me...!" Hidan yelped, getting up, raising his sword. His eyes were glinting a frightening red.
"Kagemane no Jutsu!" Shikamaru muttered, not even looking at Hidan. Hidan was caught like a fly in a trap. Shikamaru put his hand over his mouth, forcing Hidan to do the same. Then he lifted it off, and spoke.
"As much as I would genuinely love to kill you, you're immortal. And you're not even worth my time, troublesome effort, and chakra." Shikamaru hissed. He let his shadow slink away, letting Hidan stand there, slightly perturbed and utterly quiet.
After Shikamaru walked away, all Hidan could think about was how he was going to kill that son of a bitch one of these days.
Shikamaru entered the room where everyone was gathered, and took a seat slowly. Hidan soon came in moments after, glaring daggers at Shikamaru. Shikamaru looked unfazed. The Leader cleared his throat.
"As Kakuzu has noticed, our bounties have been low this month. For attacks, we need weaponry. For weaponry, we need money. To dominate villages, we need money. Shikamaru—do you have any ideas?" The Leader said, with a silent smirk. Everyone turned to him.
It was that ruthless kind of strategy, deception, that the Leader was using. Against him.
He was trying to make Shikamaru say he wanted nothing to do with this, to try to gain his respect in an overly confident manner.
He tried neither, not even having to go into his thinking pose.
"I think you should ask Kakuzu-senpai to handle these things. He knows this area well." He said coolly. Everyone blinked in disbelief, except for the Leader, who let out a small scowl.
"Very well. Kakuzu?" The Leader said. Their attention was easily diverted from Shikamaru back to Kakuzu. Shikamaru smiled. It was almost too easy to counter the Leader's attacks.
---
That night, Shikamaru lay on his bed, thinking.
The world had become cold since he had joined the Akatsuki. Seeing death, over and over again...he almost wished he could crawl up and just stop breathing, be free of the unending feeling of loss and pain.
But he would not let his village be destroyed. He would not let Temari get hurt.
Temari...
He knew that he had changed, he knew that maybe he had truly become an Akatsuki, and that maybe if he had the chance, he would not stay a shinobi.
As much as he wanted to deny it, Shikamaru knew that after this year, this year that seemed so short and yet so very long, he considered the Akatsuki his village now.
But Temari...
Temari was the only thing that he knew he couldn't leave behind, the one thing that reminded him that his team was waiting, his family was there.
He really had to thank her this time.
Had his feelings for her changed too? He sighed, thrusting his arms behind his head. Another thing about the robe—he missed having pockets for his hands. No matter.
Let's see: She was always with him, when heading to meetings, when they just needed to be alone, but still have company, that feeling you have when you need someone there. She was by far the fiercest woman and most troublesome person he had ever met.
What had really happened in the Chuunin Exams? Why had he given up, when he could've proven himself to everyone in that arena? He could have become the next Sasuke, hands down. But why had he given up?
Flashback
She seemed by far too excited for this.
"If he's not going to make the first move, I will!" She cried, and charged toward him like a beserker. With an exasperated sigh, he made a quick move backwards holding kunai.
With a flourish her fan was swept behind her, revealing her smirk, then the disbelieving gasps from the audience as he stood lazily against the wall, a smug look on his face.
Within half an hour, he had caught her. An intricate plan, a series of 'oohs' and 'ahhs' from the crowd at his tactics. They were on the edge of their seats. They were waiting. Waiting for the new Sasuke, waiting for the bigshot they could brag about.
He knew this, but it was that look in her eyes.
He had faced her, walked, making her do the same. She was fighting the Kagemane no Jutsu, he could feel it, she wouldn't just give it all up.
She was afraid of failure.
It was the one thing he could tell from just seeing her caught in the jutsu. She was concentrated.
She really wanted this.
Letting her fail, seeing the pain at being weak in her eyes, he couldn't take that away from her. He sighed deeply, then opened his eyes.
"I lose. I give up." He said. Everyone gasped. He swore he heard a few people fall forward from their seats. The girl blinked, shock clouding her face, then...relief?
Was she...grateful?
That look soon turned to triumph. He let the shadow slink away, and turned away as if nothing had happened. It's not like he had cared either way. Naruto then began berating him for his stupid move of giving it all up. He was stupid, he was lazy. How wrong he was.
Suddenly, he realized she was looking at him closely. He gave her a sheepish smile, and turned back to Naruto, but not before noticing the soft blush tainting her face.
He was glad. He liked being lazy, she obviously liked to win.
That was why he did it.
...Right?
End Flashback
Suddenly his door opened. He squinted to see who it was.
Red eyes lighted the darkness ominously.
"Itachi." Shikamaru said, getting up. Itachi was dangerous, and it was better to be ready for an attack than not to be. Itachi narrowed his eyes. He had his hat on, and it made him look all the darker.
"Nara." He said slowly.
"What is it?" Shikamaru asked, just as smoothly. He had to keep his cool. Indeed it was what was keeping him alive in the Akatsuki.
"You lack—"
A/N: DUN DUN DUN!