"Was!"
"Were!"
"Was!"
"Were!"
Three hours later, Zuko and Sokka were still arguing, SueBasher was trading fashion tips with Katara (although having no fashion sense, and no body, it didn't work out to great) Toph and Iroh were chatting amiably (considering that she had tried to bite his hand off a few hours ago), and Aang was talking with Appa and Momo who had gained voices from a plot hole.
Random decided to use this space to talk to the reviewers before everyone noticed that the reviews, as well as the next Sue chapter, were in.
Anyway, sorry it took so long, my internet was down for a really long time and…
"Random Stuff About Stuff are you putting an author's note inside the fic again????" demanded Momo angrily.
Err… no, Momo, why would you think that?
"Because it was written on the computer… Hey! Don't delete it! SueBasher, exit the program!"
If you do, I will take the Celeste fic and put every part of it inside a review for the Sue's fic so that our friends here have no choice but to…
Unfortunately, SueBasher wasn't that easily threatened, and she quickly closed the program. Phoey on her.
And with that short interruption finished, the reviews were found.
"Here's one from Wave Maker," Momo read.
Getting better. First off, the first paragraph was ONE
scentence. You could have said it this way with MUCH better grammar and flow…
Next, almost everyone recognizes Aang when they first meet him(or
atleast when they first see that arrow on his head. People see that, and
it's like he's got "I'm the Avatar" tattooed to his head) and realize
that he is the last hope for the world (Sorta comes with the job), so why
is that special? Also, telling the enemy to go in a different
dirrection as the good guys isn't special, it's not even that brilliant.
Everyone on TV does that, it's basic hiding skills.
Next, I wanna say good job with the name Shiven, it sounds pretty
Avatarish, and it's not Latin!
"And then there's FireSaber's review…"
That was better, but I would suggest using
more variety in your word choice. Liker you said 'When Myra got home,
she noticed that everyone seemed sad.' Since her brother is missing, I
would choose a different word, like forlorn.
Also, you really can't lift some one out of the air and put them on the
ground, I would have said something like: 'his descent slowed.'
And I don't think that someone's brother would think she was a monster
for being an airbender. Maybe if they found out she was a firebender...
Finally, as for the plot, I don't think you should have her fall in
love with Sokka. Falling in love with a cannon is a sign of Marysueness
"Next is a review from Unknown."
"Who's that?"
"Nobody knows, what'd you think?"
"Well, I mean, is it a review from someone we don't know, or someone named Unknown?"
"Unknown is their penname. I doubt that their real name is Unknown, but its always possible…"
Zuko blinked. "Who are these random people who keep popping up and saying things?" he asked in an OOC high-pitched voice.
"I have no idea," replied on of the random people.
To avoid any more talk with random people, Momo read the review by Unknown, and all the random people disappeared. Again.
This is really confusing. Myra's special but she's not? And why the
heck can she suddenly airbend if it's been established that she's not a
bender? Myra's becoming more of a Mary Sue. I think you should toss this
in the trash bin.
"Anyone know where they were going with Myra being special but not?" asked Katara.
"And the nottabenderisabender?" added Sokka.
"I do," Appa said, gathering the information from a plot hole. "They were trying to make her less perfect by having her under-confident and think she wasn't special. Not being a bender was because she was insisting that she wasn't, but had just discovered her bending. Which was air."
"O-okay… phoney attempt at subtlety didn't work," Zuko commented.
"Is that a flame?" Toph asked, waving her magic wand warningly.
"No!" Zuko exclaimed hurridly.
"Let's hear from another reviewer," Aang suggested trying to stop a conflict (and avoid being hugged by Zuko)
"How about The Dono Trio?" read Momo.
Everyone agreed, so Momo began reading the review. "Here's an excerpt from the review."
"cat-like pupils? What is she, half cat?' And they would also like to add that Myra can't be an Airbender or have blonde hair. And that the writer is a 'fanpoodle'."
"Fanpoodle?"
"Basically what she is."
"Oh."
"And now here's one from lenlen46," Momo told them.
Okay your story got a LITTLE better, but you really shouldn't have her
be an airbender.And try to use a thesuarus(sp?) for dull words to make
the story more exciting. I liked how her brother got lost and that
conflict but she should've saved him by earthbending. BYE!!
"The unanimous vote seems to be for Myra not being an airbender," commented Iroh.
"That much is obvious," Toph retorted. "So what do we do about it?"
"Well, since awesomestbenderever isn't an evil Sue, we can't bring her into this universe and get rid of her the way we did before. No, this time, we have to bring her to her senses like normal reviewers," SueBasher proclaimed dramatically.
"What, exactly, does that mean?" Sokka asked after a long pause.
"It means we review," Katara said.
And so they sat down and got to work.
A while later…
"Alright," Aang said. "We've finished."
"Obviously."
"Go away, random person!" Zuko exclaimed. Everyone shifted nervously. The random people made them uneasy.
"Anyway…" Sokka continued. "Err…" He realized that he had changed the subject, but had no idea what to talk about. He wasn't so good at changing the subject.
"Let's… Umm…" suggested Katara.
"Re-read the review!" Iroh offered helpfully.
With much gratitude at the changing of the subject, they did so.
Review Story: Bending Nations- Chapter: 2
Signed: The Order of the Reviewers
Review:
I hope after reading this review and many others submitted by kind fanfiction users, you will realize what you have to do to make Myra a non-Sue. Your grammar and spelling are excellent, and your writing style could be very good. Your story could be great, if you would change a few things.
Many more experienced writers have pointed out obvious flaws in your story. The facts, for example, simply don't match up. Here are some helpful hints on this writing fanfiction.
Keep everyone in character- If you don't know if people are acting strange, ask a fellow fan or re-watch an episode or two. It's likely that you'll have a moment or two of OOC, but generally it can be avoided.
Adhere to established facts- If we're in ancient Asia, don't make someone a natural blonde. They give you a lot of hints on any given show on how to make your fanfic more acceptable and realistic. Follow them. Don't try and change what the writers have already said.
Listen to reviewers- There are some reviewers who just flame, and don't tell you what to do to make your story better. Never listen to those. They are pointless and utterly ignorant. Often, they haven't even read your story. But if they offer details about what you have written, or suggest changes, they aren't flamers. Listen to them. A concritter is a valuable commodity to improve your abilities. Don't take them for granted. This is one of the easiest fanfiction mistakes to make. Avoid it at all cost.
Be consistent and clear- If your reviewers don't understand what you're saying, chances are, you aren't making sense. You can normally changed it to something much more clear when you get a fresh look at it. If what you were saying has no way to become understandable to someone who didn't write it, then you probably should write something that makes more sense. Don't change what you've already said, or nobody will ever be able to understand you.
You might become a very good writer one day, but this story needs changing. Please accept constructive criticism to better your story. Good luck
-The Order of the Reviewers
The Reviewers smiled and clicked 'send'.
Sorry, everyone, I've been busy, and I started a new story, so this one was a little behind. Anyway, I'm planning on making the next one the last chapter, but depending on how much I have to fit in there, I might not be able to. The next chapter will include the meaning behind the Sue, the Order, and possibly a guest star.
I have a request for all members of the Order of the Reviewers. Please send me a short comment on the Sue's story. Last time, the experts' comments were sometimes as short as one sentence. Try to cut it down, I know you have a lot to say, but chances are, someone else will say it. I have a lot of people to write in, and I don't have forever and all the space in the universe for long repetitiveness. PM your comments to me, and I'll put the next chapter up as soon as I possibly can. Thanks!