Morning rose as Arthas came to greet the Paladin Chief, Uther Sparmaker. Strangely, his encampment is actually quite tiny.

"Welcome Prince Arthas, it is an honor for you to be here." greets Uther.

"DAMN RIGHT IT IS! BOW DOWN BEFORE ME MORTALS!" shouts Arthas a little too loud…

"Nice to see you too lad…"

"Yeah right, you didn't even send me a frickin' present in that Paladin camp. Do you know how much its boring over there? They wanted me to give up my beautiful blond hair!"

"Look, you came here to complete the mission. Stop complaining and let me explain" replied Uther, obviously used to Arthas's personality. "The Orcs have set up a parking lot near the left of this minimap and are deploying more and more troops as we speak."

"That isn't so bad."

"But they're building a Wal-Mart near it…"

Arthas and pretty much everyone else in the camp gasp.

"Their troops are dangerously close to the village of Strahnbrad. We have to go save the villagers there." continues Uther.

"So I just go there and beat stuff up?" asks Arthas.

"This is the bad news: you have to pass the human training quest."

"NOOOOO! I won't! I'll just use my secret weapon: allyourbasearebelongto-"

Arthas is stopped by a huge needler pointed to his blond head.

"No cheating!" says the author.

"Can I at least get warpten?"

"2000 gold and you can."

"That's outrageous!" complains Arthas. "I'll take it."

Several minutes later, Arthas is standing in front of his new army of five.

"Great, now that I have five of what is probably the worst unit of this game, I feel much safer." complains Arthas. Again.

"But sir, we have a great ability called defend." says one of the footmen.

"Don't care. Loser…"

"We have a personality, you know." says another footman. He points to one of his fellow footmen. "See Timmy here?"

"PH33R MY L33T 5K1LL5!" shouts Timmy. "M3 1S T3H N00B K1LL3R!"

"Right…"

The 6-men army marches (yes, marches) to the bridge that is supposed to lead to Strahnbrad until they are approached by a villager and his particularly blue tinted wife.

"Please sir, help me find my shiny book! Some random bandits came by and stole it from me to sell it on eBay!" explains the villager. "It has this skull sign on it and can reanimate the dead. You can't miss it."

"Why do you even need this book? You can't read!" replies Arthas obviously not realizing that the villager was a necromancer. "Look, I gotta go kill orcs. Leave me alone."

Arriving at Strahnbrad, they see a nearly dead villager running away from grunts. Moments later, the grunts kill him.

"Ha, me is the killer!" shouts the grunt in victory.

"Look, footmen, a grunt! The unit which is supposed to be like you but is way better and much more useful!" complains Arthas.

The footmen (followed by Arthas) fight the two grunts. Though the footmen are five and the orcs two, the grunts seem to be much more superior to the shiny armored footmen who, even with their better looking sword and equipment, are losing… Five minutes later, two footmen have survived and one of them is bleeding to death. They continue on and eventually arrive near the slave master.

"You fools! You cannot defeat me, the great slave master!" shouts the orc. "I have already taken away the villagers and there is nothing, NOTHING you can do to stop us! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-"

There is a long silence as one of the orcs accompanying the slave master whispers something to his superior.

"WHAT?" shouts the slave master. "I DO NOT SPEAK TOO LOUD! AND WHAT IS THIS ABOUT ME MONOLOGUING!"

"Let's get this over with." impatiently says Arthas. The last two footmen fall during this particularly loud combat but Arthas, with his mighty hammer of doom, survives the encounter. About 4 villagers have been saved. On 250 villagers, this wouldn't be so bad…

"Thank you, Milord." Thanks a random villager.

"But what will happen to the others who were taken away?" asks a random villager kid.

"Uh… how to explain this to a kid? Uh… You see, when two people love each other very much… They… get married and… uh… eventually orcs will come and take them and… they'll have a horrible bloody death." answers Arthas as the kid starts crying.

"You're not good with words are you?" says Uther joining them. "Anyway, you are to meet with Miss Jaina Proudmoose to investigate the plague."

"Jaina!" says Arthas as he starts dreaming of that wonderful day when he met her… and got a little ahead on their relationship.

I now realize chapters with zombie in the title should have zombies in them. Too late.