Memo: Wow- I was definitely hoping for to reach a hundred reviews by the last chapter (but I was only two off) but I'm still SO happy…thanks to all you guys who bothered to review after you read it…or any other chapter for that matter…I know I'm overdue for this chapter, and so sorry for the wait- but it will probably be another two weeks for the chapter after this because I have to update my other two stories to help catch them up- THANK YOU!

Disclaimer: Same as the previous…hello it's got fanfic in it!

I can't say how many times (back when fanfic was still kind of new to Twilight) I've read stories in which the person's complained on how they forgot to put the disclaimer in, even if it's for like the fifth chapter and they've put it in all the others and stuff- how people review and say how they can't believe that we're stealing Stephenie Meyer's credit, it's like they don't even know what website they're on….- and so I'd like to take this time to thank you guys for not doing that…THANK YOU!

Bella's View- (You can't really expect her to be dead, can you?)

As I was falling, there was only one face I saw- his. How happy he'd be that I was gone, the burden that had ruined his life- for over a year now. The burden that had caused him to give up so much that he loved- especially his body now, his immortality.

His ability to protect those in trouble, to find out what others were thinking and to love I guess. Though I knew I had only been a responsibility he had been challenged to- challenged himself to actually. And now that I was gone- I knew that he'd be happy that he had accomplished this challenge and that I had not been hurt. And I was happy for him. I had gotten out of his way. I was only a girl after all- there were over three and a half billion of them in the world nowadays- there was nothing particularly great about me. No one would miss me.

Jessica, Mike and Angela- they were only timely friends who had not paid that much heed to me after I had gotten together with Edward. Renee, my mother- she'd have Phil to comfort her and she'd be fine. That much I knew. But Charlie though, I wondered…Charlie was something else. Charlie had no one. He only had his job, and a friendship almost mended with Billy- but not quite.

I knew though, that Billy would just tell Charlie that the Cullens had done it, and then they would stir up trouble all over again. Charlie would begin to lose interest in fishing, as he'd taken it in as a ridiculously strong habit with Harry Clearwater over the past 15 years after my Mom had left him.

I had never understood that though- why he had let her leave. He wouldn't even date, or even look (with the exception of Alice) at other girls. Alice was of course-something different. He loved her almost as much as a daughter, apparently, but looked at her according to Edward- I ignored the pang in my chest- at least, like Renee.

Hard willed and understanding. Fun and responsible. Caring. Warm, no matter how cold she was on the outside and in appearance. Charlie almost loved her- and Alice, clearly, liked him just as well.

She'd probably tell Charlie if I was dead. Or she was seeing me right now. I shuddered at the possibilities.

I remembered how much Charlie always looked forward to my visits- how happy he was to see me. He was just as happy to see my Mom as well- but knew now that he could never get her back. He understood that she loved Phil.

What my Mom and I had never understood though was why Charlie had never gone after her, why he didn't move away from one lousy city and just leave. She didn't understand that one bit. Why he didn't chase after her. Why he chose to stay instead.

I didn't get it.

I never would

And so now I decided not to try. I'd give it a week, I decided. If he didn't come (EDWARD) after me by then, then it would be over for all of it. Then I'd end my own life- if it didn't, highly doubting- end now.

Most likely it would.

But now I wished I stayed. Just for one more week, when I'd know how everything would work out- to see if he really loved me after all. To see if he'd really want me, the nuisance, back in his life. Disturbing him in so many ways- making him fight against everything he stood for- giving him a smell which was supposedly much too strong to resist for him, and I knew, had probably always known- that this would tempt him to human blood again.

This smell of mine probably came to him as a surprise, I had imagined- a surprise which he'd taken horrifically. And because of the resistance he'd put on me, and I remembered how he tried. Trying to convince himself, instead of me, whose life he was endangering that he wouldn't hurt me. And yet I hadn't cared. I hadn't even paid attention to it.

And there was nothing special about me. That much I knew. Edward could find a gorgeous girl, tall- athletic, romantic, just like he was. I immediately thought of Keira Knightley (NOTE: SHE'S LIKE AN UNBELIEVEABLE TYPE OF GORGEOUS- IT'S NOT FUNNY). Keira Knightley, the star of so many movies- Bend it like Beckham, Pirates of the Caribbean 1&2, Love Actually, and so many more…she was so many things I was not. She was skinny for another thing, while I averaged at 125 (according to Stephenie Meyer at least), she was taller and at least 20 pounds lighter. She was successful, something I could never be. I had no great ideas, couldn't argue, I wasn't able to make great arguments, explain why I was doing what I was doing.

I could never be someone great. Smart. Intelligent. Witty. All the things he was. All the things everyone else was. Coordinated, for one.

If Carlisle's theory of that you would pass along with you what was the strongest of your human traits, then what? I'd have the ability to trip- and this time not crush my nose, or break my arm, but to paralyze all the people who might be on the sidewalk at that particular moment.

They could then die, I imagined. And it would be my fault.

Edward could say he loved me in so many words, while I could just say "We'll I'm here." He could say that I was everything worth in his life, and I would completely ignore the words and just stare at him. Incredulously.

He could easily find someone who would accept him, who would love him through and through. Who was not obsessed with looking at him 24/7. Who could see beyond him. Who could be more to him, than I ever was or ever could be.

And yet here I was. The idiot. Hoping he'd come back for me. Hoping that I'd be enough for him. I hoped to be loved by someone who was far better than I was, who was far better than I could ever be.

I was a failure. A joke.

I was poor, for one.

Stupid, for another.

Anything but coordinated, to add something else on.

And I was ugly. How could he love someone as ugly as me?

Someone who knew none of the designer outfits, hadn't even heard of things such as Gucci, and Calvin Klein until recently…How could he love me when he was so great.

I was a gold digger then, I decided. He was filthy rich, deciding to get me an Audi, a 50,000 dollar car at no less (NOTE: HOW would I know what the actual price of that is. I'm not going on and looking it up for an FY!).

He wanted to treat me to money, like all of Catherine Zeta- Jones husbands did to her in Intolerable Cruelty, in which she was a huge gold digger until she fell in love with a somewhat lawyer, George Clooney, who always tried to bring her down. They got married, she got him to rip up the prenuptial without saying anything, and then they were getting divorced.

Few days, tops.

And now it was me who felt like Catherine. Who was prancing around with the richest kid who probably ever lived, or something like that.

Who had infinity resources to sell.

Like selling Carlisle's father's cross for one thing could bring in over 6 million dollars just like that. And everything Charlie, Renee, Phil and I combined could never even add up to total a hundredth of that. My college savings, which I had been collecting all my life were less than 1500 dollars. Regular kids college savings 15 thousand, no less.

And even that wasn't their own. That was what their parents gave them.

And so here the true Isabella Marie- the Swan part could go, because I didn't deserve to be a Swan, not calling Charlie and all- was revealed. I could already picture Jessica.

"Yeah, this girl I knew. MAJOR gold digger- went towards of the richest boys who ever LIVED. Yeah sweetie, I know. She was a hoodwink. She seduced him with false lies someway or another, for gods sake, she wasn't even pretty! I know, I know. I'm not usually this mean, but she really was something. She hurt me in so many ways just as well you know. Disappearing, making me tell her things that would later break apart. If it wasn't for her, then Mike would have come to me sooner.

"She couldn't even stand up straight- did you know that? She couldn't play sports, her teammates in gym never passed to her. She usually, when running or something like it would trip over someone and send like 20 people falling down. And what else, did you say? Oh yes, she wasn't even smart to excuse everything else. She puked at the sign of blood. She failed in classes- like trig for example. She was a snob really, if you look at it positively, being in an ADVANCED program and all of that in Phoenix. Prancing around in Spaghettis' and shorts 24/7 in her albino features."

Even though I knew Jessica would never go that low, Jessica probably would learn my true nature in a few years. After I was dead, I reconciled. DEAD!

I was so excited. I was still falling too. It was absolutely amazing of what you could think into your last moments. So amazing.

Edward would be happy and rid of me once and for all. He'd be safe- not having to give up his immortality for me once again. He'd be so happy, I reckoned.

I was grinning despite where I was. The grin stopped however when I fell in head first into someone's cold, pale arms.

I wanted to cry. Hundreds of feet of falling still brought me to them. I didn't look that much into the face though, and then I sighed with relief. The cold- one I was seeing here. They had red eyes. I wouldn't have to go through this much longer.

Despite myself, I started laughing.

I wouldn't be laughing for that much longer, however.

Note: Wow. I wanted to reveal so much more in this chapter, but I forgot what I wanted to put down. Sorry again that this took me so long. I have to make a few more chapters after this, even though I have to meet a friend like in fifteen minutes. Okay, so I'm going to go now- but that doesn't excuse NOT REVIEWING. PLEASE REVIEW! I WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS THOGHT OF HER UNDERMINDING HERSELF LIKE THIS!

THE OTHER CHAPTERS WON'T (PROBABLY) BE LIKE THIS AFTER, I'll GO TO ACTION SOON ENOUGH!

THANKS FOR READING!