"You lied to your men and betrayed the Canadians who fought for you! What's happening to you Arthas? Is vengeance all that matters to you!" asks Muradin
"Yes." Answers Arthas. "But spare me Muradin, you weren't there to see what Mal'Ganis did to my homeland."
"Just so you know, your homeland is recovering very well, and I DID see what happened and believe me, that wasn't much." Shot back Muradin. Then a bell rings and every troop turns to completely random points, pretending to panic. "This looks bad, we're completely surrounded! OH MY GOD WE'RE GONNA DIE! AUTHOR, WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME!"
About a kilometer north…
"This is how it ends, boy! With only death to sing the tale of your doom… wait a minute, this script sucks! Isn't death and doom the same thing? And how the hell can Arthas hear me from over here!" asks Mal'Ganis.
"Because of Blizzards logic: it doesn't matter if its horrible, just do it." Answers a necromancer.
About a kilometer south…
"Screw the Author, help me claim Frostmourne. If its as powerful as you says, then I may have a chance at killing Mal'Ganis."
"You do realize there's a giant undead army between you and him, right?"
"I don't care, I only need to kill Mal'Ganis. Mal'Ganis is all I want. MAL'GANIS" says Arthas.
They lead troops to the waygate, then go through it and wind up in Quebec, the French part of Canada.
"Wow… I thought Canada was bad, but this… this is… well… so they speak French here?" asks Arthas.
"Yes, but they have a really big accent…"
They fight their way through poutines (get Gourmet to know what it is) and finally reach a group of bored revenants.
"Turn back, mortal. Only death awaits you in this forsaken vault" says the biggest revenant.
"I thought there was a sword there?"
"Oh, you're here for that… you'll need a reservation with Ner'zhul to get in."
"I didn't go through all that just for this. I've got a kingdom to save!"
"Ok, get in."
(Long Silence)
"That's it? So we don't fight?" asks Arthas.
"Do you really want to? I'm bored, I've been sitting here for 10 000 years and frankly, I'm about to get my vacation with my family so I don't want to die…"
"You're married?"
"Of course, here's her picture!" says the revenant, taking out a picture of a pink revenant with fluffy blond hair accompanied by two little revenants. "Aren't they cute?"
"Yeah… Can I go through now?"
"Sure" answers the revenant, leading them into the vault.
The vault is just a big hole in the ground, and in the middle of it is a sword stuck in a stone, marked with Excalibur. The revenant quickly replaces the Excalibur sign with a cheaper wood-made sign with Frostmourne on it.
"Behold, Muradin, MY salvation! I have made it here! ME!"
"Hold on, lad. There's a price tag on the sword… it says
"whomsoever takes up this sword is either a complete dumbass or Arthas himself. If it is Arthas then know that this sword talks and will drive you mad. But go ahead and take it…
Signed, Ner'Zhul (Dark Lord #37491)
PS: If it is a complete dumbass… that'll be 120$"
"I knew it, the blade is costy! We better get out of here and find another!" says Muradin.
"No way, I've gone psychotic, you can't stop me. Besides, you're supposed to die after this..." says Arthas, approaching the blade. He kneels down and raises his hands to the sky dramatically. "Now, I call out to the spirits of this place, I will do anything, just to kill Mal'Ganis. And save my people. But mostly kill Mal'Ganis."
"Arthas, I only said the blade costs a lot, nothing about spirits"
"Oh… I feel embarrassed."
"Don't worry, kid. You're not the first" points out the Revenant.
Arthas goes through various stretching exercises, irritating Muradin and the Revenant. Fifteen minutes later, he pulls out the sword and it goes flying through the air, landing in Arthas' hand.
"Good, now we can…" Suddenly, a portal appears and out comes Darth Sion. Sion effectively cuts Muradin in pieces before going back into his portal.
"You'll thank me for this later…" says Sion. "PAIN!"
"I've got my sword, now lets go"
Five minutes later…
Arthas comes out of the waygate and walks to the middle of the base.
"Sir, where's Muradin?" asks a footman.
"Dead" answers Arthas. "Get the troops ready, we will be killing Mal'Ganis' forces soon."
"Sir?"
"Yes?"
"Can we skip the battle scene? I'm pretty sure the readers can imagine you slicing up undead with that really badass sword there."
"What, this? This sword sucks, it only gives me a chaos attack and life steal! I have no idea why I bothered to get it in the first place. Talk about wasting my life…"
Skipping boring base scene…
"So, you've taken up Frostmourne at the expense of your comrades lives? I can't believe how much my job was easy!" says Mal'Ganis.
"I can't hear you. I only hear the voice of my sword now."
"The Dark Lord is brainwashing you. He speaks to you through the blade you… this script sucks."
"Tell me about it… I'm in all the campaigns."
"I feel your pain." Sympathizes Mal'Ganis. "So… What does the Dark Lord of the dead tell you now?"
"To finish this shit of a campaign…"
"NO, how can he-" shouts Mal' before engaging Arthas. The two fight at a cliché speed and can't be seen (because they move so fast (OOOH! Dragon Ball Z ANIMATIONS!)) just when they stop and Arthas yells: KAMEHAMEHA!"
Everything around Arthas goes up in ridiculously large explosions while this poorly animated anime uses the worst line it could.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" yells Mal'Ganis before, finally, dying.
2 seconds later… Arthas runs away while the screen turns to black.
Maddened by Frostmourne's voice, Arthas went berserk, killed everyone he saw and lost what was left of his tiny brain. This turned out to be great scripts for movies such as Prince Arthas: Portrait of a madman and The Traitor Prince : A Dark History.
Meanwhile, in Lollyron, King Terenas dies of a heart attack and Arthas buys an undead cow.