Chapter 13 : Into the realm of Gondor- I mean, Quel'Thalas (right?)

Arthas was standing on the top of a cliff, just like he did at every cinematic. Interrupting the second silence, he says, "Ah, wondrous, eternal, green, homosexual-filled, beautiful-in-the-sense-I-want-to-burn-it-all Gondor! I haven't been here since I stood on this cliff in a seemingly badass way 10 seconds ago… Feels like a lifetime."

"Careful, the elves are most likely to be hiding behind small bushes such as this one…" warns Kel'Thuzad, pointing to an elf hiding behind two leaves.

"Shush, you're not supposed to see me, I'm camouflaged! In fact, you didn't see, hear or talk to anything, it was all your imagination…" says the elf.

"Hey, I wonder where Gondor is?" asks Arthas.

The elf stands up and points behind him. "Just there, take the bridge keep going and it's the third exit on the right."

"OH MY GOD A SPYING ELF! WHAT A SURPRISE! I NEVER COULD HAVE GUESSED!" shouts Arthas sarcastically, then killing the stupid elf. "Thanks, moron… Anyway, the elves aren't my concern. They're only a mix of humans and night elves and frankly, both suck."

"The elves must not be taken lightly! They're the ones who created Lifetime and PBS!"

"Oh my god! We're doomed!"

"Relax, their only weakness is their feelings. They are very concerned about their homosexuality, it seems society these days can't accept it."

"We shall see… even though I hope I don't have to… Bring forth the prisoner that just came out of nowhere to tell the player what he\she had already guessed!" a small priest comes up. He isn't chained, or has any ropes tied to him… In other words, he could have escaped easily. Perhaps this explains the undeads' incapability to win any battles. OR DOES IT!

"You'll never get inside! We have TREES and MAGIC GATES! The land itself protects us! And besides, WE HAVE YOU OUTNUMBERED!" screams the elf.

"Just so you know, these trees are the smallest I've ever seen. And, in case you haven't noticed, any one with a peasant or an acolyte can raise an army in hardly any time." Replies Arthas.

"Stupid Blizzard…"

Just then some Blizzard geek comes out of nowhere and did things to the poor elf. Things that should never be repeated here… but if you insist…

FLASHBACK

Some guy named Bob was eating his lunch by a lovely snowy field in New Zealand. Suddenly, a mini Mario figurine landed on his head. But since that doesn't have anything to do with this flashback, something else landed on his head. It was an anchor and on it you could read a big:

"ON3 OMFG0FEGRSDJGFANIASNU18921YR9H4YUFNBQY89!"

Then the anchor disappeared and Bob says "WTF?" and the world exploded and that is how Azeroth comes to be.

END FLASHBACK

How does this relate to the elf? You figure that out, I'm tired.

"These trees will not stop me! You know why? BECAUSE THEY ARE TREES MUAHAHAHAHAHA!" shouts Arthas. "Bring up the catapults or demolishers or whatever you call those cheap wagons."

"I find you very offensive, sir." Says one of the meat wagons.

"What the hell?"

"Never mind…" says the Wagon, chopping down the trees.

"The energies of this place are strong… its like there's an elf base! Oh my God, there IS an elf base here! Go pwn it!" points out Kel'Thuzad.

The troops easily burn down the base. It's like there was only one guard. Wait, there WAS only one guard!

"Greetings, I am Sylvanus ASSrunner" says SylvANUS ASSrunner. "You are in violation of law #31 : no killing, law #32 : no invasions, law #65 : no hurting peaceful villagers, law #101: turning into and undead and killing a king, law #102 : killing a king, law #103 killing a parent, law #104 : taking up a costy blade and not paying for it, law # 345 insulting inanimate objects… ( notices HP is at 1) Damnit! I will finish my list, Arthas, I'LL FINISH IT!"

The army massacres all on its way to the gate. The way there is so boring skeletons simply chop themselves. In fact, it was so boring, one might compare it to a PBS telethon or Celine Dion singing. Even I got bored so I went to get chips and I didn't have enough so I thought, "Hey, what if I asks Buddha?" so I asked and he gave me pickle chips but since I hate pickle chips I told him to get me others but nooo, he always has to go be a golden statue somewhere. Either way, it was boring. (This useless rant on how killing elves is boring was written from lack of imagination at exactly 10:21 PM)

"Shindu Fallah Na! Wait, was does that mean? Oh yeah, fall back to the block of wood we dare call a gate!" shouts SylvANUS. "And why does my name have to be SylvANUS?"

"Why, because its funny!" replies the author.

"I don't find it funny!"

"Nobody cares what you think, your name is SylvANUS!"

"I hate you…"

"Onward my minions, let us go do that thing we were doing before I got drunk by boredom!"

And so, Arthas destroyed the stupid elves and passed the second gate.

I realise I just took 10 lines and added stupid comments between them but.. who cares? It was funny!

… was it?