"Not too upset about that one time I killed you?" asks Arthas.
"Don't be silly, I hate you! I f I had an opportunity to freeze you AND Ner'zhul, I would. Heck, if I had Halo, you'd all be dead!" happily states Kel'Thuzad, chuckling lightly.
"Wow… you'd do that for me?"
"Of course, anything for my master!"
"Okay then…Isn't it time you told me about the dreadlords, lich?" asks Arthas.
"You'd like that wouldn't you?" says Kel'Thuzad. "Fine then, the dreadlords are special agents of the IRS, more commonly known as the (BLEEP) or Burning Legion."
"What is this Legion?"
"Money stealing assholes, that's what they are! They also have a giant army of regular assholes and they are intent on destroying the world!"
"So the destruction of Lollyron, the slaughtering of the elves… it was all just for some asshole invasion?"
"Yes, in time, you will find that the entire history was shaped because of them: the World Wars, Lucas Arts cutting short development of KotOR 2, even the invention of Pong!"
"What do these have to do with the IRS?"
"Not much, actually, I was just filling up space." Answers Kel'Thuzad.
"So, what now?"
"Let's ask the public…"
A giant crowd of nerds and not-so-nerdy people appear out of nowhere, and the landscape turns into a television game show. Kel'Thuzad is now wearing a tie and is wielding a microphone.
"Ladies and Gentleman, please applaud the traitor prince, the new and more evil one!"
Arthas rides in, and the crowd starts booing worse then when they saw Doom… if that's possible.
"I said APPLAUD!" shouts Kel'Thuzad, frost nova-ing a group of French tourists. The rest of the crowd immediately starts cheering for their life. "That's better! Now, Arthas, why do you think you're here?"
"I don't know, I thought you were going to tell me."
"SURPRISE, I'm letting YOU choose YOUR Destiny!" says Kel'Thuzad. He then successively points to three different doors. "Will it be Door number 1: Skipping Chapter 16 and going directly to Dalaran?" The crowd boos, the author though, silently hopes that Arthas will choose this one. "Or Door number 2, where you get a free car and also piss off the author? Or Door number 3, the MYSTERY BOX?"
The crowd cheers for the mystery box.
"Uh… Um… Uuuuh… I'll take… Uh…"
"Not sure? Ask the public! YOU, sir!"
"Um, me?" says a random footman.
"Why, yes, you! What do you want the prince to do?"
"Go for the box, THE BOX!"
"Why should take advice from you?" asks Arthas, Death Coiling him.
"You can also call someone you know!" suggests Kel'Thuzad. "Like Bob the Abomination! Here, I'll put him on the phone!"
"No way, I wanna call Jaina!"
The crowd goes silent.
"Uh… are you sure?"
"Yes!"
"Okay then… This is going to get ugly…"
Dring-----Dring-----Dring-----Drin-"Hello?"
"Jaina?" asks Arthas.
"Oh…my…f(BLEEP) god-"
"Jaina, Abbreviate please!"
"Sorry." Apologizes Jaina. "You're kidding, right! You're not Arthas, are you?"
"Um, yes, its just I turned Undead and killed all the elves."
"AWESOME! WHY DIDN'T YOU TAKE ME WITH YOU?!"
"Frostmourne didn't want to." Answers Arthas.
"Why are you calling? You know telephones aren't invented for another thousand years, don't you?"
"Go to channel six, I want you to choose what I do next."
"…Why are you riding a cow? Never mind, I can't say anything until the orc campaign but I'd go with … Uh… Door 2!" screams Jaina.
"Okay then." Says Arthas, disappearing into Door 2.
Next Time: Behind the Dark Door #2