Undead forces ran about aimlessly (as usual) and Arthas and Kel'Thuzad stand on the top of a cliff (as usual).
"Isn't time you told me about the second phase of the plan?" asks Arthas.
"I never talked about any plan."
"Good point, Blizzard guy!"
"What?" asks a random Blizzard employee.
"Why didn't I ask about the plan?"
"Find something yourself, I'm too lazy."
"Anyway, the first plan was to create an army of walking corpses to take out the good guys." Explains Kel'Thuzad. "Then, we summon the badass demon who will destroy whatever is left."
"It's so simple… Frostmourne, what do you think?"
"Hey, leave me out of this, I'm just a talking sword." Says Frostmourne. "Besides, I'm EMO now, I'm going to cut myself."
"You're a sword, how can you cut yourself?"
"With my blade, duh!" complains the sword. "Sigh Humans…"
The sword then desperately tries to cut itself… and it seems to work…
"Okay then… There is an encampment of Wal-Mart commercial Orcs who maintain a functional Orcs'R Us. We basically just pwn their base."
The undead camp suddenly turns to attack a wave of orcs leaded by a blademaster.
"Go away, monsters, WE are the true servants of the burning legion!" shouts the blademaster.
"Who are these morons?" asks Arthas.
"I'm going to guess they are old orcs, who don't know yet that orc fashion has changed and serving demons is for losers." Answers Kel'Thuzad.
"Oh" replies very simply Arthas.
The orcs are pathetic. They still use wooden swords that they call "Choppy-sticks" and don't even use demolishers. Clearly, they are outdated by a few patches. When they are all dead, except one that went into a coma after seeing "new" weapons called swords, Arthas notices an item the blademaster dropped.
"He dropped a large tome, is it magical?"
"Um, lets see, its glowing, its hovering 2 feet above the ground, its way larger then any tome anyone could read, its golden, if I touch it he touches it it goes poof and makes a small magical explosion. Nope, it is definitely not magical." Answers Kel'Thuzad.
"Do you think I'm an idiot?"
"Yeah, I do."
"Then you must die!" screams Arthas, raising his trusty gay- I mean, EMO, blade.
"Please, stop. Its never worked and you know it."
"Yeah, I AM a sad loser… I should get on with the story."
"GOOD IDEA!" shout my fans (do I have any? Who am I kidding, of course I do!)
A giant undead dragon flies into the base, startling pretty much everyone.
"Behold! The Frost Worm! I mean, the Frost WYRM! They are the lich king's favorite pets!"
"Really? Can I pet it?" asks Arthas.
"Of course! Here, boy!" Kel'Thuzad whistles and the wyrm flies excitingly to him. Arthas then starts petting it and the wyrm starts purring. Of course, when I mean purring, its more like a giant rumble that sends multiple buildings down. "Cute, isn't he?"
"I wanna ride it!"
"Sorry, Tolkien already copyrighted the idea of a dark knight riding a dragon."
"Oh…"
Several minutes later…
"Alright lich, the gate is yours." Says Arthas.
"Well that was quick" points out Kel'Thuzad. He positions himself close to the gate. "I call upon thee Archimonde, your humble servant seeks to talk to you!"
A semi-transparent image of a Demon appears in the gate. He clearly has been to a party, judging by his pants being down. He quickly pulls them up.
"PUNY you have called my name, PUNY lich. And I have come. PUNY you are PUNY Kel'Thuzad, are PUNY you not?" says the demon lord.
"Yes, I am the summoner."
"Good, there is a special PUNY tome PUNY you must find. PUNY it is the last PUNY spell book of PUNY Medivh. Only PUNY his PUNY incantations are powerful enough to bring me into your PUNY world." Explains Archimonde. "Seek out the PUNY City of Dalaran. It Is there that the PUNY tome is kept. At PUNY Twilight, three PUNY days from now, you will begin the PUNY summoning. Now, if PUNY you will excuse me, I have to go party with the other PUNY demons."
"Well that was a lot of PUNY." Points out Arthas.
"I know, irritating isn't it?" replies Kel'Thuzad.
Next time: The siege of Dalaran