Chapter 15: Their Greatest Fear
It took me a moment to realize where I was and why I was on the floor. As I lifted my head groggily, it all came rushing back. I opened my eyes to see my anxious cousin staring at me. She was crying. I saw the tears fall from her clear blue eyes. Quickly I sat up, causing a major head rush.
I glanced around the room I was in. It was the basement. I could not have been unconscious for long. Aidan stood next to the stairs with his arms crossed. He determinately kept his expression blank, although I knew he had been crying. He came over to me and stuck out his hand to help me up. I took his hand, and stood up.
What had just happened was very difficult to process. Melinda, my kind and gentle cousin Melinda, she had been the one who had done this to me. She took a step towards me nervously, as if she was afraid to look me in the eyes. "I'm so sorry!" Melinda said suddenly. I was surprised by this outburst. "I didn't mean to, and I just really hope you'll forgive me."
Melinda was practically hysterical now, and I didn't understand why. I didn't blame her at all. In fact, I was probably one of the only people in the world who understood exactly how she felt. Had she forgotten that I too knew what it was like to be evil? Unfortunately, I knew what it was like to be forced to attack the people you love. The large weight of guilt that I had felt since I had killed that homeless man returned to full measure.
"You shouldn't be sorry", I said, shaking my head emphatically. I truly believed this, more than anything else in the world. "It was not your fault." Slowly and hesitantly, Melinda nodded. She looked at me with wide eyes. Melinda was shocked…speechless…and I could tell. I knew she didn't believe me, but I had to make her believe me. I couldn't believe that she, of all people, was sorry. I was the one who should be sorry.
"There was nothing you could have done", I told her earnestly.
"Thanks", she whispered. She stepped towards me, and we hugged. That act right there suddenly made everything right with the world. Aidan stood next to me, and he held my hand. The anxiety I didn't know I had pent up suddenly disappeared. Everything would be okay now.
All that was left to do was to get home. We had been in this time for so long, that I wanted nothing more than to go home. I didn't see anything else that could get in our way. It wouldn't be that hard, right? I was sure it wouldn't.
Belthazor was extremely displeased. Once again, his trusty minion had failed him. Of course, that demon had been disposed of. Now, it was up to his once second in command, Taranis, to fix the problem. What he needed was the children from the future dead. They were much too powerful to live. If Taranis was not able to do it, he would be reduced to ash, just like his predecessor.
The lower level demon trembled before him. Belthazor knew that it was bad new even before the demon had spoken. The demon known as Taranis cleared his throat nervously. "The plan…the plan failed", said the servant nervously. He waited for reprimand, but it never came. He hung his head, frightened to look his master in the eye.
"You will not be punished", said Belthazor in a deep voice, "It was Tempus' fault, after all." Taranis breathed an audible sigh of relief. His master, however, was not finished. "You will have one more chance!" Belthazor yelled. His yell shook the whole underworld cave. "This time, you make the plan. If you fail, you die", he growled. With a shimmer, he was gone.
Taranis stayed in the cave, his mind working as quickly as possible. There was only one demon he could think of who could help him destroy the witches from the future. The difficult thing would be convincing that demon to help him. The demon he was thinking of was an extremely powerful one. If he mentioned his master, he would be sure to help. Everyone wanted the source's right hand man to favour them.
Now he needed to find Barbas.
The potion was almost done. I was sure it would work. It had to work. It was our only chance. Melinda didn't trust me much in making it. It was after all my careless potion making that had brought us here. Melinda couldn't deny that I did have an idea. With the right combination of ingredients, we would be home in no time.
I had delegated the task of writing a spell to Aidan and Melinda. A potion alone wouldn't get us home. My cousin and my boyfriend didn't look that delighted at working together. They didn't argue too much. They both knew that they had a talent with spells. Aidan was good with rhyming, and Melinda could always find the right wording. I thought it would be a good chance for them to work out their differences.
Grams of course wanted to help, but I wouldn't let her. She had more important things that she should be doing. The most important of which was to keep young Piper and Phoebe out of our way. We had been lucky that there weren't more close calls then there already were. My great-grandmother had managed to convince them to visit their father for a week, and she went to. Hopefully, that would be enough time.
I was looking for a plant powerful enough to send us far forward in time. Grams didn't seem to have any powerful enough in the attic store cupboard. So far Melinda and Aidan had been quite calm with each other. I went to the book of shadows to look for an alternative when all hell broke loose.
"That's stupid! That'll never work!" Aidan shouted. I wouldn't say he was angry exactly. More like frustrated.
"No it's not. Time rhymes with rhyme!" Melinda protested loudly. Melinda was in fact very angry. She was very much a perfectionist, especially when it came to spells. Usually, she didn't have this much trouble working with others. Maybe she just really didn't like Aidan.
I slammed the book of shadows shut. It reacted rather violently to being treated like that by flying across the room. "This is not the time for fighting!" I yelled. I had had enough. I tried not to loose control like this, but those two were making it impossible. "Get back to work!" I said authoritatively. Great, I was sounding like Melinda.
Melinda and Aidan both looked a little ashamed of themselves. They went back to the spell they were composing. That's when we all heard a strange cracking sound. I looked up to where the sound was coming from. I could see the attic windows and the attic door covering themselves with bricks. The door covered itself as well. We were trapped.
"Patience?" said Melinda quietly. She sounded petrified. I turned round to look at her. I could barely comprehend what I was seeing.
Melinda looked as if she had seen a ghost. Of course, if she had seen a ghost, I would have seen it too. Her already pale complexion had become much paler then usual. She was trembling. "Patience? Where are you?" she asked again, this time, her voice shook as she spoke.
She didn't seem to be able to see me. She was looking right at me, but her gaze seemed to pass right through me. I waved my hand energetically in front of her face. There was no reaction. "I'm right here", I said rather loudly. She didn't so much as flinch.
Suddenly and inexplicably, I saw what Melinda must be seeing. To her, she was no longer in the attic. We were in the front foyer, and it was no longer 1987. There was Melinda, sitting at the foot of the stairs. It wasn't Melinda as I knew her. She could be no more than 5 or 6 years old. Her mother and father were in the doorway, arguing.
Now, I didn't remember this, but I did remember what happened when Melinda was this age. "Melinda, can you hear me?" I asked gently. The child sitting at the foot of the stairs said nothing. She was watching her parents fight intensely.
"It's okay Patience, I remember this", said a voice over my shoulder. There was the present day 13 year old Melinda, watching the scene before us with a pensive look. Not quite sure what to do, I followed Melinda's lead, and I watched.
Aunt Piper and Uncle Leo were yelling quite loudly. I moved a little closer to hear what they were saying.
"Leo you can't do this. She's only a little girl. She'll never understand", Aunt Piper said in a whisper. I could tell that she was trying to keep the young Melinda from hearing what was going on. As always, Melinda was a bit nosy. Unlike Aunt Piper, Uncle Leo didn't seem to care what Melinda heard or didn't hear.
"I can't stay here anymore!" Leo yelled. The young version of Melinda cringed and inched closer to the wall. My aunt Piper was close to tears. The little Melinda just looked petrified. Uncle Leo stormed out the door. He slammed the door behind him, with made the house shake. Aunt Piper began to cry, burying her face in her hands. The young Melinda ran over to comfort her.
I concentrated on the present day version of my cousin. She was staring at the scene before us with a strange detached expression on her face. It wasn't exactly sad, per se. Melinda wasn't crying, or anything like that. She looked defeated. I looked at her in concern. She didn't even seem to see me. She was looking passed me, or more accurately right through me, at her mother and her younger self.
A disembodied voice filled the room, blocking out the strange scene from Melinda's past. It sounded strangely familiar, although I did not recognize it. It addressed itself directly to Melinda. "This is your greatest fear", it said ominously, "You know that your daddy doesn't love you. This terrifies you. Your greatest fear was born the day your daddy left and never came back."
What I had been watching dissolved. The past Melinda and Aunt Piper dissolved into nothingness. My cousin Melinda grimaced in pain and fell to the floor before she too disappeared. I was all alone now. Melinda and Aidan were no where to be found. I tried to steady my breathing. I was still in the manor, somewhere where I had always felt relatively safe.
Instinct caused me to spin around as I heard a sudden noise. It was a rasping noise that I couldn't quite place. I couldn't tell where it was coming from. I looked down to see a very familiar person. My face blanched as if I had seen a ghost. In a way I had. Involuntarily, I began to tremble, as I looked into the face of the only person I had ever killed.
He looked exactly as I remembered him. The stab wound I had inflicted was there, as fresh as ever. He was a bit more pale and decomposed then I remembered, though. There was another thing that was different then him. This one small difference made me want to faint. The man got up and began to walk haltingly towards me. "You are evil", the unnamed man moaned; "Only evil could do this."
I backed away as he continued to walk towards me. Only when I walked into the wall, I stopped moving. There was nowhere left to go. "No", I breathed, shaking my head. I shut my eyes tight, as if that would make him go away. I opened my eyes again when I could feel his putrid breath on me.
"NO!" I yelled, louder this time. I pushed him out of the way ignoring the decaying feeling of his flesh. I ran, but in the drawing room, there was nowhere left to go. The zombie or whatever he was wasn't fazed. He continued to follow me. That's when I panicked.
Before I knew what was happening, a wave of fire shot straight from my hand and engulfed the supposedly dead man. I didn't mean to do that, really I didn't. The man however shot me an accusatory glare. He quickly disappeared in a ball of fire.
The same disembodied voice that had taunted Melinda made itself heard again. "Only someone truly evil could do that to another human being", it whispered. "You are just like your father. You don't deserve to live." I shook my head, as if that would make it stop talking. I didn't want to believe what it said, but it made sense.
I was inhuman…a monster. Only someone truly evil could do something like that. The voice was right. I didn't deserve to live. I choked for air as an invisible hand squeezed itself over my windpipe. I did not fight back. There was absolutely no point.
The first thing I heard when I awoke was Aidan yelling my name. I felt my self floating gently upwards. It was a wonderful feeling. I was floating away from the physical world and all of my troubles. Aidan was talking to me, begging me to stay with him, not to be dead. I opened my eyes to say him crouched over my body. He was sobbing over my prone form. I clung to life, if only for his sake.
I concentrated harder than I had ever concentrated in my life. Slowly but surely I floated downwards. It wasn't working fast enough. Aidan was still sobbing. I saw a knife floating some inches above his head. I called out in warning, but he couldn't hear it. It was a moment before I rejoined my body. The moment I did, I opened my eyes and yelled, "Aidan, watch out!"
Purely on instinct, he ducked. The knife clattered harmlessly to the floor. There was some sort of demon in here, one that none of us could see. All of this seemed very familiar. I knew that I had read something like this in the book of shadows before. I heard a loud noise, and I quickly grabbed on to Aidan. I hugged him, burying my head in his chest and never wanting to let go.
Thinking of the man that I had killed, I began to cry. It was as if I had unleashed a floodgate, and all of my unshed tears were falling. Very reluctantly, I looked into Aidan's earnest grey eyes. "What's wrong Patience?" he asked softly. I didn't want to tell him, really I didn't. It was something about the tone of his voice that made me tell him everything.
"When I was a demon – because of my dad…I…I killed a man!" I cried. I began sobbing uncontrollably again. My body wracked with uncontrollable sobs as I thought about what I had done. That disembodied voice, whatever it was, had been right. I am a monster, and I didn't deserve to live. "I'm evil", I whispered to Aidan.
Gently, he put his hand on my arm. I didn't want to look at him, but something in his gaze was calling to me. I stared into his eyes. "You are the nicest kindest person I know", Aidan said sincerely. "You would never hurt someone of your own free will. This was not your fault. I would never lie to you."
I struggled not to believe what Aidan said. Murder was an unforgivable crime. I didn't think that anyone, especially me, deserved to be forgiven for that. However, what Aidan was saying rang true. Someone truly evil would not feel the unbearable gnawing guilt that I had felt since I had killed that man. A demon like my father would have shed no tears over what I had done.
I started to believe what Aidan had said. I didn't feel as bad as I once did. I looked up at Aidan and I nodded. He helped me up, and we looked around the room. Somehow, we had returned to the attic. The windows and the doors were still blocked. Melinda was no where to be seen.
We still had no idea who the demon that had done this could have been. I knew that I had heard of this demon before. Suddenly it hit me. I did not only know this demon, I had done a project on him for magic school.
"Barbas", I whispered.
"Pardon?" Aidan asked, looking at me quizzically.
"The demon of fear", I explained, "He brings your greatest fear to life. The only way to defeat him is to overcome your fear." Aidan's eyes widened in understanding. This made a lot of sense to him too.
"What are you afraid of?" Aidan asked gently.
My throat felt suddenly tight. I had lost my ability to speak. I thought I had already made it perfectly clear to him what I was afraid. As it turned out, I would have to say it again. "I'm like my father", I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
He shook his head in disbelief. "Listen to me", he said clearly. He was using the voice one might use with a disobedient two year old. "You are nothing like your father." I nodded. He had said that often enough. This time was different though. This time I actually believed it. I managed to smile for the first time in days.
"Thank you", I said to him. He shrugged and smiled as if to say it was nothing. It wasn't nothing. What he had said and done for me meant a lot more to me than I would ever tell him. It had stopped me from going down a very self destructive path. The knot that had been in my stomach loosened and disappeared. I wasn't afraid anymore.
One of the windows became partially unblocked. A beam of light from outside appeared in the darkened attic. That's when there was a swirl of black smoke that blocked the very welcomed light. A very thin skeletal man with greasy grey hair appeared in front of the attic window. I recognized him from the picture in the book of shadows. It was Barbas.
Aidan took a protective step in front of me. The demon of fear smiled, revealing disgusting teeth. "You fear that she is harmed", he said to Aidan. Aidan blanched a little. I was shocked and flattered to hear that that was Aidan's fear.
"I'm not afraid anymore!" I said to the demon boldly. He smiled again, that horrible smile.
"Oh, you have stopped being afraid of being evil. But that was never your greatest fear", Barbas said ominously.
I didn't like the sound of what he was saying, or the smug way in which he looked at me. "Your greatest fear is loosing a family member; especially your cousin."
I paled and began to breathe heavily. This couldn't be happening. Everything seemed to swim strangely before my eyes. I began to cry, and sunk to my knees. I couldn't take this anymore. It couldn't have happened, not to Melinda. Barbas just stood there, smiling and nodding.
"No", I whispered, "please no…"