Chapter 21: What's left of Lollyron (two pieces of wood)

Meanwhile, back in lollyron… (my god I need a new transition sentence…)

Demons were raining down literally on what was left of lollyron, destroying everything on their way. Even sheep! ISN'T THAT JUST CRUEL?!! Anyway, the view focuses on Tichondrius who just randomly appeared out of nowhere. He walks to Mannoroth (who turned pink).

"Hail, mighty Mannoroth!… what's with the pink?" asks Tichondrius.

"Its my new thing you see, Archimonde always speaks with PUNY and I wanted to be the only pink demon!" answers Mannoroth.

"So… how goes the invasion?"

"What invasion? We're just hitting random buildings, nothing too destructive. Besides, humans don't pose much threat, seeing as they were obliterated…"

"Then the scourge did its job well, unlike your stupid orcs who can't defend a damn demon gate… they suck…"

Mannoroth slashes in fury at Tichondrius and produces some random special effect that goes BOOM. "HOW DARE YOU SAY THINGS LIKE THAT THINKING I WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND! YOU WILL PAY FOR INSULTING MY PINKINESS!!!"

"Actually I was insulting your worthless orcs and calling you incompetent."

"Oh"

"Yes. Anyway, I thought you'd like to know the orcs aren't here anymore" says the dreadlord.

"Do you take me for an idiot? I know you're insulting my pink style!"

"You moron, THE ORCS ARE ON IRELAND!"

"KALIMDOR!!!" screams Thrall.

"SHUT UP YOU'RE NOT IN THIS CHAPTER!!!"

"YOU SHUT UP YOU SON OF A… (gets taken away by Blizzard Asylum officers)"

Quickly changing the subject, Mannoroth screams for no reason in particular while stabbing Tichondrius.

"OUCH, Man that hurt! Why'd do you do that? We've been friends since kindergarten and you stab at me for no reason? I thought there was something special between us!" shouts the dreadlord.

"Hey, we kissed once and that was it, never happened again!"

BOOM! Archimonde appears right next to the demons, screaming at the top of his PUNY lungs: "HA WE KISSED TWICE! I ROX YOU!"

"Hey Archimonde, how's it going?"

"My PUNY wife left me, my PUNY son has denied me, my PUNY daughter got kidnapped and my PUNY friends kicked me out of their PUNY club for being too alcoholic… But other then that, I feel fine" says Archimonde. "We will watch the PUNY orcs and wait… it'll be good for world's funniest videos, imagine the PUNY profits!"

"… right…"

"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- laugh you PUNY morons!"

The trio laughs maniacally while cast in an evil under shadow…

(Really long silence)

(more silence)

(Just a little more)

"Well, this sucks… this chapter doesn't even make one page!" complains Mannoroth.

"I know, its like the author is running our of ideas..." suggests Archimonde.

"What do we do?" asks Tichondrius.

Suddenly, a giant portal appears. Out comes a character so evil, so crazy, so unexpected…

"TIMMY?!" shout the three demons. "OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

Two more characters come out, this time even crazier… or maybe just more stupid.

"FURT AND BURT?!"

Then another character so small, so ridiculous, so… I'm running out of ideas, Help me sheep of comedy! (looks at sheep with bowtie. The sheep shrugs.) Shit…

"DARTH VADER?!!!" scream the demon lords.

"Actually no, Darth Vader was eliminated on the Death Star and died in his son's hands. I am only a cheap version of Vader used by the author to create an element of…"

"ALRIGHT SHUT UP!" orders Archimonde. "Now, since I am the biggest here, I will ask the PUNY questions. What are you PUNY sideshow characters doing PUNY here?"

"We're taking over the world!"

"You can't take over the world, WE'RE taking over the world!" says Tichondrius.

He slashes at them, killing them instantly. "Well, that was easy!"

(Jaws music)

"Hey, why is that music playing? Why am I scared? Why do I feel a need to turn slowly behind me in a dramatic way then scream and run? (turns slowly and dramatically) OMG!"

What will happen next? No need to keep you waiting, is there? Here you go.

COMPLETELY RANDOM PART 2: BATTLE OF THE SIDESHOW FREAKS!
Suddenly, The author jumps out of another portal (so its repetitive, big whoop, wanna fight about it?). "STOP! I created you, and I CAN DESTROY YOU!" He takes out a small remote with a big red button, then presses it.

(Nothing happens)

"Shit, wrong ogre…"

Meanwhile, back in the Barrens, Some half-orc half-ogre explodes… ruining in the process, the Orc campaign in the expansion (poor expansion pack, its suffered a lot, hasn't it?).

"HA, puny Master Chief imitation! You cannot beat us! We will crush you and your pathetic lines!" screams Furt. Suddenly, all the secondary characters appear: Mr.Pacman, Diablo, Mephisto, Baal, the level 99 barbarian, Tyrael, Frostmourne, Darth Sion, Master Chief, Muradin, Foxy Cleopatra, the pie I ate, Mrs Pacman, the commercial orc blademaster, the centaurs that ran away, the kodos, the talking meat wagon, the possessed catapults, the asparagus men, the Hulk-eating clowns, the Montreal Canadian hockey team, MANY Canadians and a few zombies from chapter 3. And Master Chief. You can't forget Master Chief.

"We outnumber you (counts on fingers) a gagillion to one! You can't beat us!" shouts Burt.

"Master Chief, weren't you with me?"

"Oh, right." He walks over.

"Now what?" asks Furt.

"I think we fight…" suggests the author.

The fight breaks out, but the baddies are no match for MC. Explosions go up in incredible yet somehow cheap explosions, as some random battle music starts playing. One by one, they fall, but new secondary characters like Chuck Norris appear. The fight lasts hours, until the two Spartans are too tired to keep going, at which point they fall back.

"We can't hold them!" says Master Chief.

"I NOTICED!" screams the author. "I'll have to use my ultimate weapon…"

"Author, you can't!"

"Its needed…"

The brave author lurks out and summons his most powerful beast… the plasma pistol. All their opponents walk out of the way, leaving place to the two ogres…

"You think to beat us with this pathetic weapon?!" says Burt.

"Ah, but the plasma pistol IS the sickest weapon ever!" He overcharges the plasma and shoots.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

Everything explodes in ridiculously large balls of plasma, creating a shockwave of… anyway, the point is, the author gets rid of them all with his awesome pistol and they all go up. Master Chief walks to the author slowly…

"The wrong has been righted, I created you by introducing you in the early chapters and I have obliterated you forever…" recites the author.

"That was the biggest bunch of bullshit I've ever heard" points out MC. "Come on, you have more chapters to write and I haven't finished Halo 3. We've got work."

The two Spartans walk away silently, knowing the biggest threat ever posed to a story has been destroyed…

Next chapter: HAHA, Warsong is crying! Losers!
Somewhere in the debris of Lollyron…a drak music plays... the view centers on a particular piece of wood... the view stops and the music accelerates... then, a hand crawls out of the wreckage, shacking madly, followed by the shadow of a footman's helmet…

Author's Note: You didn't think it'd be that easy to get rid of a leeting footmen, now did you?