Cuddy was still a bit miffed about not getting to relax at Le Monde's with her favorite drink, an apple martini, but assumed it was House's way of apologizing for the evening and quickly accepted the suggestion to go home. "House, what about your car?" she asked, as she handed him her keys from her handbag. "You don't want to leave it here all night do you?"
"I'll get it later," he said, not looking at her, but instead pretended to be searching the parking lot for her vehicle. They rode the entire ten minute trip to Cuddy's house in silence, save for the occasional grunt House made while searching for a song he liked on the stereo.
At her front door, he unlocked it with her key and held it open for her to enter first. Lisa Cuddy's house was warm and cozy. Quite the contrast from the person she projected to be at work.
House felt comfortable there but their relationship to this point had really been about the sex. He didn't linger longer than he had to afterwards, always using his leg or his rat as an excuse to head back home. And, he never had invited her over to his townhouse.
Once inside, Lisa removed her coat and handbag, tossing them on the arm of a beautiful and no doubt very expensive, over stuffed chenille chair. She never noticed that House hadn't sat down or taken off his jacket. She called out from the kitchen something about having a drink. "Wine?" she said, emerging from the kitchen holding two wine stems in one hand and a bottle of Riesling in the other.
"No, thanks Lisa. I think I'm going to head on home," House said softly, from his place by the door. Lisa froze in her tracks, her smile evaporating on her mouth. "You're not staying?" she asked, incredulously.
"Look, if it's about tonight, I was out of line. You felt like I treated you like an employee, and you're right. You didn't deserve that. You know how I get worked up about those fundraising things. I lost my head, I'm sorry Greg," she said, setting the glasses down on the coffee table and pouring them half full of the cold white liquid from the bottle, assuming all was forgiven.
"You don't have to apologize, but I'm not staying," his voice was low and soft. "I just really want to go on home".
Setting the bottle down gently on the coffee table, Cuddy regrouped her thoughts. "Oh, come on. Your car is halfway across town. What'cha going to do, walk home?" she laughed, to herself. "Now, I'm sure we can find something interesting to do," she said, as she pressed her lean and incredibly tight body up against his. She began to grind her hip and pelvis into the center of his trousers. Her hands reached up behind his neck and began to wander through his hair before he grabbed her wrists with both his hands, pulling them down to her sides.
"Lisa, please don't make me say it another way. I can't do this tonight".
"Ok, we don't have to do anything tonight. We'll do whatever you want," she said, as her hand moved from her side back up to his chest" With the slightest hint of desperation in her voice, she whispered, "Just stay with me tonight, all right?"
"Lisa," House said, as he placed a tender kiss on the top of her head. "Sit down, let's talk".
Lisa could feel the emptiness of her stomach rise and fill the back of her throat. Oh God, she thought to herself and held her breath.
"One would think," House began. "That I would be good at saying this," his eyes looked down at the floor briefly before lifting to meet hers dead on. "I don't think this is going to work out-- this thing between us. I don't want to hurt you, but I know I am and I'm sorry".
"Jesus!" she let slip out, almost embarrassingly. "What? What the hell happened today to get you to this point?" her eyes pored over him until a light of understanding went off in her head.
"You spoke to Cameron, didn't you? And, let's see…she played the victim, laying it on thick about how hurt she is and how much she's always wanted you? She'd probably do anything, say anything to keep her job so that she can still see you everyday and pine away for you. How am I doing so far? Pretty close? I know that look, House, you're feeling guilty. God, you're so stupid! She totally manipulated you".
"No," House cut her off, defensively. "It wasn't like that. This has to do with me," his voice was agitated and raw. His right hand flew up to his temple as if to painfully stop a thought from flying out. "I just don't feel the way I did two months ago. The high of getting a second chance--cheating death, has worn off. I'm back in my normal skin with my familiar, pessimistic thoughts. And, it feels right. I feel like me again and it's this that doesn't feel the same".
"So, all of this has to do with some epiphany you had between 4:30 and 6:30 tonight? And, none of this has to do with Cameron?" her eyes were wide and accusatory. Her chest rose and fell dramatically with each breath she took.
"I told you, she's done nothing. Look, I did what you wanted. She's leaving next month and I'll hire someone new. She handled it with nothing but class," he said, quietly. "We're the ones that fucked her over".
The stood silent for a moment each consumed with thoughts too clumsy to express. "House," she said lightly, breaking the silence. "It doesn't have to be this way. We don't have to decide anything tonight. I can come over to your place. I've been selfish asking you to always stay here. Let me just grab some things. We'll have a few drinks and forget about tonight".
"Lisa," his voice was low and eyes were so intense she thought she felt herself stagger backwards in her footing. "I told you months ago that this is what I'd turn out to be, that this is what I do. And, you said you'd be ok with that if that's how it turned out. I'm sorry". And with that he turned and walked out her front door as she sank into the chair by the coffee table.
He stood for a moment on her porch before reaching into his breast pocket and pulling out his cell phone. As he moved down the steps and onto the sidewalk she heard his voice. "Yes, this is Dr. House. I need a cab at 115 Warren Crescent. Great, thanks".
Inside the house, Lisa Cuddy polished off both glasses of wine and began to sob.
House had the cab driver drop him off at the Cultural Center. Not surprisingly, his car was the only one in the lot. He handed the driver a twenty dollar bill and waved him off as the driver tried to give him back his change. "Thanks, Doctor. Have a great night". "Yeah, you too," House said, as he turned to make his way to his car.
Cameron woke up the next morning slightly hung over. She rarely drank anymore and never anything harder than wine. But, the bottle of peach Schnapps Chase and Foreman had given her for her birthday a few weeks ago was just too tempting to resist in her state of mind last night.
Even though she had only been in them for an hour, she shed her clothes as soon as she got in the door of her apartment. She drew a hot bath, lit a few candles and set the bottle of Schnapps on the small table by the tub. The shot glass, also from Chase and Foreman, was black with the words "Over the Hill" written across the front in big, white letters. The number "30" adorned the other side. She poured the liquor into the glass and threw it back quickly.
She tested the bathwater with her hand and then poured herself another healthy shot and climbed into the old claw foot tub. Her head rested on the terry cloth covered pillow she had bought last week as a treat for herself and across her bent knees laid a dog eared notebook which held the lists of hospitals and contacts she had made a year ago after she resigned.
Her eyes scanned down the list as she circled those she thought may still be looking for Immunologists and crossed through the ones she knew were not. She reached over onto the table for the shot glass. In a quick motion, she threw her head back and let the warm, sweet liquor slide down the back of her throat. Happy Birthday, Allison! she said to herself, as her head fell backwards onto the pillow. The notebook slid off her knees and into the water, completely unnoticed.
Half a bottle and seven hours later, Cameron's head pounded as she stumbled out of bed towards her bedroom window to close the blinds shut from the blaring sunlight. That was one thing she was not going to miss about this apartment, she said, to herself. Her bare feet padded along the cool, hard wood floor as she made her way to the kitchen. "Coffee," she said, aloud. "That'll fix me right up. I hope".
As she waited for the heady brew to drip into the coffee pot, she glanced over to her phone. She'd forgotten to check for messages last night when she came in. As if there'd really be any. She hadn't heard from Chase in several weeks and Foreman had a new girlfriend, so he never called to ask her out for a quick bite or drink after work anymore.
The one flashing message could only be from one person. Hi Mom, what's new? she said, to herself, as she hit the play button to hear her mother's voice on the other end. "Allison, its Mom, honey. Your father and I just wanted to see how you were doing. I left a message last week. Did you get it? We know you're working hard. Give us a call when you get some free time. Take care of yourself, sweetie. I worry about you,". Allison put her head down on the counter and cried.