Chapter 24: Fat Albert's blood… C positive by the way.
One happy morning in Ashenvale, the bear-men were running wild and the pigs were resting silently and peacefully. In other words, nobody could have guessed this was the morning they'd all get owned by two demons. Tichondrius and Mannoroth, still drunk from the Halloween party, randomly teleported in a clearing, with a MAGIC fountain in the center.
"Hmmm, if I remember well, which I don't, this is the lair of Cenarius. That tree humper was quite a challenge to fight…" says Mannoroth.
"Yep, we're just here to cause trouble for the community and stuff. Cenarius is a wuss, he never comes out in the open and hides behind his pimped up divine armor. As impossible as it sounds, your stupid, incompetent orcs chopped down a tree and made him mad. The tree humper news- I mean, Elune Weekly say he'll be making a special concert to save the forest of Ashenvale" informs Tichondrius.
"The orcs wouldn't stand a chance against his singing, especially not that "raindrops keep falling on my head" song, even they don't deserve such a bad treatment…"
"You know that blood pact you made with them about 4000 years ago?"
"Not really, I forgot a lot of things that were 4000 years ago…"
"Anyway, you just have to dump some blood in the fountain and they'll be badass again!"
"That's just sick I'm not dumping my blood in there!"
Tichondrius then takes out a giant axe and starts chopping a away at Mannoroth, who is so fat it takes a few chops to get to the blood. Eventually, drops of blood wind up in the fountain after Mannoroth hit his nose against a rock and bled from there.
"MUAHAHAHAHsniffAHAHAHAHA!" laughs Mannoroth maniacally in a dark shadow stuff…
Chapter 24: Part two: LOLZ WE GETTING OWNED!
"chop" went the peons' happy pickaxes, axing away at the wood, when suddenly, a giant Godzilla-sized horse-night-elf jumped out of the wood and killed everyone.
As you can imagine, Grom and everybody else had no idea what to do, so they just waited.
And waited…
And waited…
And waited…
And finally, when everything but the main base was completely destroyed, the forest grew back and the orcs finally moved.
"Sir, we lost contact with Houston base, we're losing, bad!" says a stressed peon.
"We have a Houston base? Why'd we call it that? Wait, never mind-" Grom was interrupted by a troll priest running to him.
"Sir, we discovered something big dark and scary in the north of here, since I used the adjective "big" I suggest we go find it and use it to get rich and destroy Cenarius!" informs the troll.
Has anyone noticed, no one answers that in the mission? Or that the voice acting in this part is horribly limited? Or that once Cenarius brings up trees he doesn't attack anymore? Or that getting to the well is way too easy? Speaking of the well…
"Stop, foul orcs, the demon masters put us here to protect the chaos well, you shall not pass!" says a satyr guard.
"Haven't you realised? The game devs put you here so you wouldn't let anyone but us come, not stop us from getting it! Why would they put you up to foil their own stupid plan?!" says Grom.
"Oh, god, satyr brain… overflowing… must… push reset button… OVERLOAD CRITICAL ERROR, WINDOWS 95 MUST SHUT DOWN MICROSOFT THANKS YOU FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING AND SENDS YOU ITS DEEPEST APOLOGIES (bzzz… crack… bzzz)!" screams the satyr before exploding himself and all the other guards because he only had Windows 95. See? Windows 95 IS dangerous!
"Mon, this be the place we were sensin' from da camp! Be careful though I sense big demon- DON'T DRINK IT YOU MORON!" screams the witch doctor seeing Grom taking a drink from the red fountain.
"Yes, I feel powerful! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" shouts Grom Hellcream, right before growing to be a 50 foot tall red skinned Godzilla-hulk mix and stomping his way to Cenarius.
The troops watch the chief with wide eyes when suddenly…
"You think you can defeat me that way?! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screams Cenarius, also turning into a 50-foot tall Godzilla-monster.
The two giants ram into each other, creating a shockwave that eliminates everything in a 3000 mile radius and pushes the Earth slightly to the left. Each kick takes away part of the planet and sends it into space and each punch destroys a colony on an unknown planet. The fight lasts about two minutes, long enough for the game devs to use all the special effects they never put into Warcraft because of its more then shaky graphic engine.
Some time later…
With Cenarius' huge corpse lying down and Grom returned to normal, Mannoroth finally finds the courage to approach them.
"Hey, dudes!"
"Mannoroth, It… can't be!" says Grom.
"Why the hell not? Come back to the IRS, we have a place for you to break stuff! There's just one rule though: never ever do that again" invites Mannoroth.
"But-"
"No buts, no Godzilla crossovers ever gain! Now come, we have stuff to kill/destroy/traumatize"
Next: Jurassic Park