Author's Note: Thanks for sticking with this story. This was always meant to be a House/Cameron story of sorts, so please don't give up on it if that's what you're looking for. If you like where it's going, please let me know. I really appreciate the reviews. Hope you like this
The drive upstate to The Cloister of St. Theresa's was uneventful. House had opted at the last minute to take the motorcycle instead of the car when the weather proved to be too nice to pass up. The religious sanctuary was located a little over an hour from the College. Once outside of Princeton, the drive was made up mostly of winding rural roads through picture postcard little towns.
House had learned in confidence through Cuddy a month or so ago where Chase had chosen to stay while trying to sort out his life. It wasn't a surprise to him that Chase had ended up here, just that he had gone so quickly after the shooting. It didn't take a genius to figure out that Chase had been struggling with his faith, his father and his job for quite some time. House thought to himself that out of everyone he knew Chase had experienced almost as bad a year as he had.
Through the massive entry way gate, House could see down a long, pristine drive that led to a beautiful large stone building. There were no vehicles of any kind in front of the building or on the grounds that he could see. Picking an out of the way spot, House parked his bike, threw his gloves inside of his helmet and hooked it over the handlebars. Extracting his cane from the custom made holder on the side of the bike, he swung his leg over the seat and set off for what he hoped was the main entrance.
A thin, middle aged man clad in a brownish colored robe with a simple, large wooden cross hanging from his neck appeared at the door immediately, as if he had been watching for his arrival. "Good day, my friend. Welcome. You must be Doctor House, yes?" he said, softly. His voice was firm, but low. "I'm Brother Thomas. Come in, come in please. We don't get many visitors, so this is indeed an honor," he said, smiling widely at House.
"Thanks for letting me come up on such short notice. When we spoke on the phone, you mentioned that you would be telling Chase...Robert that I wanted to see him. Does he know I was coming today?" House asked, as he casually looked around the simple but impressive room.
"Yes, of course. He's been preparing spiritually for this," Brother Thomas said, politely.
"Right, naturally," House replied politely, fighting the impulse to sarcastically comment on the thought of Chase he was now conjuring up in his mind.
"You'll find him in the garden, Doctor House, just out through these doors and down the walkway. I'll bring tea out in just a few minutes," Brother Thomas said, as he swept back a hand to show House the direction to take.
The grounds of the Cloister were immaculate. Everywhere House could see were beautiful plants, trees and large containers of flowers. Wooden benches were placed randomly along the path that led out to the garden and House wondered how anyone could think amidst all this peace and quiet.
He saw Chase on a bench that was tucked between two huge rosebushes. He was dressed in a robe similar to Brother Thomas' but not quite as long and with no cross around his neck. His hair was shorter and darker and House thought to himself that he looked heavier but well rested.
"I'm not even going to ask how you found me," Chase said, staring out to the middle of the garden as House settled onto the bench next to him.
"You had God listed as the emergency contact on your employment application," House said, lightly.
A small laugh slipped out of Chase's mouth. "I thought you weren't a believer," he said, turning to look at House for the first time.
"Yes, well I'm trying not to be so judgey. It's one of my near death resolutions," House threw back.
"Right. That sounds like an attainable goal".
"Cameron," House said, awkwardly. "Cameron told me," he said, as the lie passed his lips softly.
"Oh, right," Chase said, just realizing what House was talking about.
"So, how's it going? No one's jumped you in the confessional booth or stabbed you with a shiv made from an old ruler yet have they?" House asked, as he looked over Chase's features searching for imaginary injuries.
"No, nothing like that," Chase replied, sheepishly. "It's all on the up and up here," he said, as he began to look around the garden.
"Yes, I can see that," House said, staring at Chase out of the corner of his eye. "So, are you ready to start healing people again? How's that saying go? Do unto others…"
"I dunno. I'm not sure if I'm in the best position to do that. The shooting and everything…" he said, as his voice trailed off.
"Hmm, yes that was all very messy for sure. And, not that I wouldn't be flattered to think my near demise was the reason, but that's not really why you're here is it?" House asked.
"What do you mean? That wasn't enough?" Chase asked, looking surprisingly into House's eyes.
"You're running away".
"No, I'm not running. I'm dealing with…look, someone with a gun walked into our office and could have killed us. He very nearly succeeded with you," Chase said breathlessly, obviously agitated by the passing memory of that day.
"Maybe yes, maybe no. But, you're dealing with nothing about the shooting. That's not what brought you here," House said, matter of factly.
"House, I appreciate you coming but you have got no idea…" He started, before House abruptly cut him off.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about your father, Robert," he said gently, as Chase's eyes widen and then looked away quickly.
"He didn't want me to tell you. He didn't want you to know because he didn't want to hurt you. That's what some parents do. And, I thought I was doing the right thing by keeping his confidence, but I was wrong," House's voice fell quiet and still. The palm of his right hand rocked slowly over the handle of his cane as he thought about that day Rowan Chase had asked him not to share his fatal prognosis with his son.
"I see now that you had a right to know," House continued. "But whatever you think, I never did it out of spite or malice".
Chase finally turned to look at House. His eyes were red and moist with tears. "So, why tell me this now, House? Did you think you could just tell me and I'd suddenly feel better?" his voice was shaky and defensive.
"No," House said flatly, looking into Chase's reddened face. " But life's too short to waste by not being happy. I read that once in a fortune cookie," he said, sarcastically, hoping to get at least a small laugh out of Chase.
When that response from Chase didn't happen, he continued on in a more serious tone. "People keep telling me that I've got to live like I deserve to be happy or something to that effect. There must be something to that, don't you think?" he said, as he shifted on the bench, extending his right leg out to cross over the ankle of his left.
"So, the question then is what makes you happy Chase, and why don't you think you deserve it?"
Chase nodded silently for a moment as if collecting his thoughts and then he spoke. "I like being a doctor; I do it well enough I suppose. But I watch you and Foreman and even Cameron. And you're all inspired by what you do--it's a part of you. I don't feel that way. It's what I do, not who I am and I don't know if that's good enough anymore," he said, almost regrettably.
"So who are you then?" House asked.
"I'm an imposter" Chase replied softly, almost relieved by the revelation.
"Hmmm, guess I better make a mental note to myself to really do those reference checks next time and not just say that I did," House said, lightly.
"I think I have unfinished business here," Chase said, honestly, ignoring the levity of House's last comment.
"Well, that's a start," House's voice was flat, but supportive. "Looks like this is a good place to find out if that's what you want. For what it's worth, you're a good doctor, Chase. And, I think you could have a long and wonderful go at it. But, it won't mean shit in the end if you don't love doing it. So, choose the one you can love".
Chase started to speak, but was interrupted by Brother Thomas setting down a small tray with two cups of tea and a delicate hand painted teapot. He smiled at the two old acquaintances and turned and walked away without uttering a single word.
"So, what about you, House? Are you happy?" Chase asked, as he reached for his cup of tea.
"I love my job…" he began, almost sarcastically before Chase cut him off. "I wasn't asking about your job. I asked if you were happy. Obviously you've had some success with the Ketamine, and the leg pain seems to have lessened" he said, looking over at House's leg. "So, has that made you any happier?"
"I get by just fine," House said, uncomfortably, not enjoying that the spotlight of the conversation was suddenly being turned on him.
"Now who's running away?" Chase asked, looking into House's gaze. "You know she loves you, don't you?
"I didn't come all the way up here to talk about Cameron," House barked, defiantly.
Chase's eyes widened and his brows lifted towards his forehead in surprise of House's response. "Wow. What makes you think I was referring to Cameron?"
House flinched at the question, his mind racing to come up with an excuse for letting his thoughts jump the gun.
"Relax," Chase continued, feeling a bit more emboldened by the obvious crack in House's tough veneer. "I was talking about Cameron," his voice was light. "But I know that you wouldn't have come up here on your own accord. Cameron talked to you. She asked you to do it, didn't she?" Chase searched House's demeanor for clues.
"I'll take your silence as a yes then," he said.
"And you did it because you respect what she thinks, what she cares about. You did it because you wanted to please her," he said, almost victoriously. "Why can't you just let yourself go and try being with her? She's not the helpless little girl you have convinced yourself she is. She's a wonderful woman".
"I don't need you to lecture me about Cameron," House said, sharply.
Feeling the need to both rid himself of guilt and help House, Chase began to explain himself. "Look, what happened between Cameron and me…"
"I don't want you to talk about her," House seethed, his steel blue eyes locking onto Chase's face. "Just don't".
"I'm sorry" Chase said, awkwardly.
"Don't be," House said, shaking his head and feeling annoyed that he had let Chase's comments affect him. "Look, I should probably get going. I don't want to be on the road too late with the bike," he said, as he levered himself from the bench to stand next to his untouched cup of tea on the tray. "Good talk," he said, flatly as he started to walk away leaving a stunned Chase who had already set his mind to worrying if he had gone too far.
"Take your time here," he said, turning back to look at Chase. "There will be a place for you back at the hospital when and if you decide that's what you want," he said, before turning back on the garden path and walking away.