Chapter 7 (rawr… another chapter WARNING! INCLUDES SOUR MILK! Ewww…) xP
Disclaimer: I do not own Legend of Zelda: OoT. But I do own the sour milk! But it's sour… So I don't want it…
Cherry-sama: Hi! And welcome back to Totally Messed!
Navi: I'm bored…
Cherry-sama: So am I… (pokes Navi)
Navi: Stop it!
Cherry-sama: (pokes again)
Saria: Don't watch this boring thing… Please read the story…
What would happen if Link made Ingo go deaf?
Wonder no more! See how one little boo-boo change makes me want to go to the zoo! Wait… Someone's been messing with my cue cards again…
(Link warps…somewhere and he wakes up in the Chamber of the Sages. Navi was still asleep, beside him. Link looks around, not noticing that there is an old guy standing in front of him.)
"Link… Wake up… Link, the Chosen One…" a voice (from the old geezer) called.
(Link stands up and sees Rauru)
"AAAHHHHHHHH!" Link yelled, wait…how come he heard a deeper voice than he usually speaks? "Just who are you?"
"I am Rauru, one of the ancient sages…" Rauru explained.
"Just in case you didn't notice, I'm already awake. And do you expect me to believe that? I know you look really old and all, but ancient is an understatement." Link told, crossing his arms, sounding more mature than he usually does.
"Yes I am old, but not as old as you make me sound! I'm only 47596040 years old!" Rauru told Link.
"Only?" Link asked.
"Anyways… Ages ago, we ancient sages built the Temple of Time to protect the entrance to the Sacred Realm…" Rauru continued.
"Wha—? Ohh no! Not the mumbo jumbo about the Sacred Realm…" Link mumbled as Navi woke up.
"You're just as annoying as the random owl!" Navi stated.
"That hurt you know…" Rauru whimpered as he regained his composure. "I mean… This is the Chamber of Sages, inside the Temple of Light… The Temple of Light, situated in the very center of the Sacred Realm, is the last stronghold against Ganondorf's evil forces."
"You keep talking but all I hear is 'blah blah blah'…" Link muttered.
"The Master Sword—the evil-destroying sword that you pulled out of the Pedestal of Time was the final key to the Sacred Realm." Rauru went on.
"Uh-huh… You speak as if I'm listening…" Link muttered.
"Link…don't be alarmed…look at yourself…!" Rauru told Link.
"I think those are the only real words I've heard come out of you ever since you started this conversation." Link told Rauru as he looked down at his body.
(Link looks at himself and he finds out why his voice was so bloody low!)
"Look Link! You're big now! You've grown up." Navi exclaimed, she too as looking at Link for the first time.
"Seven years older!" Rauru told Link. "You're getting closer to my age!"
"Wow… I look hot!" Link exclaimed as he looked at his older self.
"Yeah, yeah… The Master Sword is a sacred blade, which evil ones may never touch…. Only ones worthy of the title of 'The Hero of Time' can pull it from the Pedestal of Time. However, you were too young to be the Hero of Time…therefore, your spirit was sealed here for seven years." Rauru told Link.
"That was interesting compared to most of the other stuff you said before." Link told Rauru.
"…And now that you are old enough, the time has come for you to awaken as the Hero of Time! Well, do you understand your destiny?" Rauru asked.
"Yes, duh." Link told Rauru.
"But, remember… though you opened the Door of Time in the name of peace…Ganondorf, the Gerudo King of Thieves, used it to enter this forbidden Sacred Realm! He obtained the Triforce from the Temple of Light, and with its power, he became the Kind of Evil..." Rauru continued.
"There goes Zelda's Triforce…" Navi told Link; Link nodded.
"His evil power radiated from the Temples of Hyrule, and in seven short years, it transformed Hyrule into a world of monsters. My power now only has little influence, even in this Sacred Realm…namely, this Chamber of Sages. But there is still hope… The power of the Sages remains. When the power of all the Sages is awakened…the Sages' seals will contain all the evil power in the void of the Realm. I, Rauru, am one of the Sages…and… your power to fight together with the Sages makes you the Hero of Time! The Hero of Time, chosen by the Master Sword! Keep my spirit with you… and, find the power of the other Sages and add their might to your own!" Rauru commanded as he lifted his arms into the air and the camera flew up to the ceiling.
(Rauru gave Link the Light Medallion andRauru randomly warps Link out of the Chamber of the Sages)
"Link…we're back in the Temple of Time… But has seven years really past? It looks like you won't be able to use some of the weapons you found as a kid anymore… Let's get out of here!" Navi told Link.
"We can't… the Door of Time is sealed shut…" Link paused, while pointing to the Door of Time, which was indeed sealed shut.
"How did that happen?" Navi asked, flying over to the door.
"Someone must have stolen the Stones from the Altar." Link thought.
"Link… You're a lot smarter than you used to be… To the fact that it's scary…" Navi told Link.
"Whatever… Let's break the door down…" Link told Navi as he walked forwards.
(Link starts to push and then something fell from the roof. Link draws his sword, the Master Sword.)
"LINK! Stop drawing whenever the authoress wants you to pull out your sword!" Navi scolded to Link, who was holding a pencil and amoth-eaten sketchpad.
"Is that what she wanted me to do?" Link asked, lifting up his seven year old pencil from the dead paper.
"Excuse me?" the something asked as it waved its hand to try to get attention from the two.
"Hello! Could you help us break the door down?" Link asked the new person.
"Hmph… Fine…" the something (apparently a person, human person) agreed.
(The three of them pushed and shoved, but the door wouldn't budge.)
"No use…" Navi muttered.
"I guess we can't save Hyrule after all…" Link paused.
"Maybe it would help if I put the three shiny stones back to that Altar thing…" the person muttered.
(Link and Navi froze.)
"YOU STOLE THE STONES ON THE ALTAR!" they yelled, making the person temporarily deaf.
"Yeah… I'm a thief you know… Just wait… I'll put these back…" the new person told Link and Navi as it clutched the three stones in its hand, threw a Deku nut and vanished.
(Moments later, the door opens. The new person on the other side, crossing its arms.)
"Mission accomplished." It muttered to itself.
"Thanks!" Link exclaimed, for it felt like he knew this person.
"Hey, could you turn your backs for a moment?" the person asked.
"Okay!" Navi exclaimed as Link and Navi turned around.
(When Link and Navi both turned back to face the person, 'Mission Impossible' music plays in the background.)
"I've been waiting for you, Hero of Time…" the person told Link as it made all sorts of cool poses, speaking in beat with the music. "When evil rules all, an awakening voice from the Sacred Realm will call those destined to be sages, who dwell in the five Temples."
"Where's that music coming from?" Link asked, looking at the ceiling, Navi doing the same.
"One in a deep forest… One on a high mountain… One under a vast lake… One with the House of the Dead… One inside the Goddess of the Sand…" the person told Link, while ignoring his comments. "Together with the Hero of Time, the awakened ones will bind the evil and return the light of peace to the world…"
"Where did the music manager get that CD? I love this music!" Navi exclaimed.
"But I still wanna know where that music is coming from…" Link muttered. "And Navi…"
"Yes Link?" Navi asked.
"What's a CD?" Link asked.
"I have no clue…" Navi muttered.
"…This is the Legend of the Temples passed down by my people, the Sheikahs. I am Sheik, survivor of the Sheikahs…" the person (named Sheik) continued.
"Sheik? Where is that music coming from?" Link asked stupidly.
"Well… THAT'S IT! KILL THE MUSIC!" Sheik yelled; he was at the end of his wits.
(The music abruptly stopped as a man in glasses (apparently the sound technician) walked in the room (from the wall) holding a knife stained with blood.)
"Where did that blood come from?" Navi asked.
"And who did it come from?" Link asked, making a bigger point.
"…When I said 'kill the music' I meant stop it. Not actually kill it…" Sheik told the man in glasses, he figuring it out before the other two did.
"Whoops…" the man muttered as he looked at his knife and quickly wiped the blood off the knife and onto his shirt.
(The man in glasses disappeared into the wall again.)
"As I see you standing there, holding the mythical Master Sword, you really do look like the legendary Hero of Time…" Sheik continued in peace.
"I do?" Link asked.
"He does?" Navi asked.
"Yes… If you believe the legend, you have no choice. You must look for the five Temples and awaken the five Sages…. One Sage is waiting for the time of awakening in the Forest Temple. The Sage is a girl I'm sure you know… Because of the evil power in the Temple, she cannot hear the awakening call from the Sacred Realm… Unfortunately, equipped as you currently are, you cannot even enter the Temple…" Sheik explained.
"Why not?" Link asked coolly.
"Because I said so!" Sheik snapped. "Anyway, if you believe in what I am saying, you should head to Kakariko Village… Do you understand, Link?"
"Yep!" Link exclaimed, not worrying about the music anymore.
"To save the forest girl, you need another skill… Head to Kakariko Village!" Sheik demanded.
"Say… This has been bugging me for a while now… You look a lot like Princess Zelda…" Link mumbled while looking at Sheik.
"I do? How?" Sheik asked coolly.
"Well... You have the same jewelry obsession…"
"Jewelry obsession?" Sheik asked as he raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah… She had this really creepy obsession with jewels." Navi told Sheik.
"And you also have blond hair…" Link continued.
"So do you…" Sheik pointed out. "For all I know, you could be Zelda."
"Trust me. He's not." Navi told Sheik.
"And are those red contacts?" Link asked looking at Sheik's eyes.
"………IhavetogowashsomethingrightnowandIneedtogo,sobye!" Sheik told Link, while throwing a Deku nut at his feet, making him temporarily blind.
"But then again, Zelda wasn't a guy, also she didn't have short hair and she also didn't steal (yes, I know, she did steal in chapter two)!" Link exclaimed after he became un-blind.
"But would she?" Navi paused.
"Na!" Link told Navi.
"But I'm wondering… Should we believe what Sheik said and go to Kakariko Village?" Navi asked Link.
"Duh! What else? Or wait… Was that another one of those spit-out-obvious-nonsense moments?" Link asked.
"Yep. I don't know why the authoress makes me say those idiotic lines! It's as if you couldn't do it yourself!" Navi exclaimed.
"Yeah!" Link exclaimed.
"No wait… You probably can't do it yourself…" Navi paused, remembering all those random events when Link was little.
"Oh jeez… Thanks…" Link muttered to Navi. "Well, at least I can do it now in this big strong body!"
(Link flexed, trying to make muscles appear, but nothing showed.)
"Why won't it work?" Link asked, looking at his arm sadly.
"I'll tell you later! Now lets get going!" Navi snapped.
"Maybe it was because I haven't eaten for seven years…" Link muttered as he got pushed out of the Temple of Time.
(Link went to Kakariko Village after over coming the initial shock of seeing Hyrule in ruins. Link entered the Graveyard of Karaoke (Kakariko, I know, but Karaoke is how Link says it) stood in front of a grave on the far far left with flowers in front of it.)
"I guess Dampé the dancer died…" Link paused, looking at the name on the grave in front of him.
"Who's Dampé?" Navi asked, for Link and Navi haven't met him yet.
"He's—Um… I'm not sure…" Link paused.
"Let's dig up the grave to see what the person looked like!" Navi suggested as she pulled at the back of the grave, reveling a hole.
(Link and Navi stared at the hole)
"I didn't think the body would be that far down in the ground…" Link paused, looking down the hole.
(Link lost his balance and fell down the hole and Link encountered a floating person (apparently Dampé the ballet dancer) floating in front of him, wearing a pink tutu)
"Heh heh heh, young man! Are you fast on your feet?" Dampé asked.
"AHHHHH! THE BODY SPOKE!" Navi yelled.
"At least we found out what the person looks like." Link paused, looking at the dead person.
"…I may not look like it, but I'm confident in my speed and my dancing! Let's have a dancing competition!" Dampé exclaimed, twirling around.
"But I don't wanna…" Link muttered, but Dampé didn't hear.
"Follow me if you dare!" Dampé exclaimed, trying to make himself sound creepy, but failed horribly.
(Link followed the dancing Dampé through the crypt and arrived at the other end)
"The time of this dance was (insert time here)!" Dampé exclaimed.
"Really? It took that long?" Link asked.
"I thought that time was a bit short for what it felt like…" Navi mumbled.
"Hehehe, young man…you were very quick to be able to keep up with my dancing! Hehehe!" Dampé grinned.
"I was?" Link asked.
"He was?" Navi asked.
"As a reward, I am going to give you my treasure." Dampé told them, while ignoring them. "It's called the hookshot! Its spring-loaded chain will pull you to any spot where its hook sticks. Doesn't that sound cool?"
"Not really…" Link muttered, he was thinking he would get a better prize for going through that maze, following a twirling corpse.
"I'm sure it will help you all the same! I live here now, so come back again some time." Dampé exclaimed, hinting that he wanted more company. "I'll give you something cool!"
"Cooler than this time?" Link asked, much too hopeful.
"No, not as cool as this time."
"Ohhh…" Link muttered, very disappointed.
"One more thing…you look like the kind of person who would be really good at break dancing!" Dampé exclaimed.
"I do?" Link asked, bewildered.
"Yep! Be careful on your way back, my budding break-dancing student! Heheheheh…" Dampé chuckled as he vanished! DUN NUH!
"Odd…" Navi paused, looked where the corpse had just stood.
"Say… The path leads off somewhere… Let's see where!" Link exclaimed.
"Forwards is the only way we can go…" Navi muttered, hinting that the door they had just come from was closed.
"Hey…" Link paused, looking at an old wooden chest, starting to mold.
"Beats me, maybe Hookshot is in there…" Navi paused.
"Let's look and find out!" Link exclaimed.
(Link opens the chest and finds a very rusted Hookshot inside. What a lame gift!)
"This is lame…" Link paused, looking at the blunt/dull edge.
"Link…-wheeze- Close that stinky chest!" Navi spluttered as she started to turn green.
"Okay, okay…" Link paused, closing the chest, but the smell didn't go away.
(Navi gasps, no in need for fresh air, but in amazement. Navi started to fly away from Link)
"Navi! Don't go!" Link yelled as soon as he noticed.
"Just wait, I'll come back, this is just a test." Navi told Link.
"Fine! You ditch me, I ditch you!" Link exclaimed, running through the door ahead of him.
"HEY!" Navi yelled as she flew she fast as she could to catch up to Link.
(In the next room…)
"What's this?" Link asked, looking at a very big, blue stone standing in front of the way out.
"Wait… This has the same symbol as the Door of Time! Play the song of time to get ride of it!" Navi told Link.
"And you know this how?" Link asked, sounding smarter than when he was little.
"It says here on the front." Navi told Link, pointing to the letters on the front of the stone.
"Ohhh…" Link mumbled as he pulled out his new Ocarina (well… it's not really new, it's been new for seven years).
(Link played the song and the stone vanished.)
(Link walked and followed the tunnel only to wind up at the windmill where the guy with the music box plays)
"That guy looks mad…" Navi muttered to Link.
"Maybe I should ask why…" Link suggested.
"You talk to him. I'll wait here." Navi told Link, making it sound like she didn't want to go near the man, but she actually was conducting the experiment she was trying to make before but then Link ditched her so she had to follow.
"Grrrrrrrrr! I'll never forget what happened that day, seven years ago!" the music man growled as Link looked at the man's eyes, they were pure white!
"What happened?" Link asked, trying to find out why the guy was so mad.
"Grrrrrrrrr! It's all that ocarina kid's fault!" the man continued.
"I have an ocarina—" Link started, but Navi glared at Link, making him shut up.
"Next time here comes around here, I'm going to mess him up!" the man threatened.
"Like my Ocarina?" Link asked, pulling out his blue ocarina, Navi slapped her head.
"What! You've got an ocarina! What the heck!" the music man cursed.
"I think he's snapped." Navi whispered to Link as she came back, Link nodded.
"That reminds me of the time, seven years ago! Back then a mean kid came here and played a strange song. It messed up this windmill!" the music man told Link. "I'll never forget this song!"
(The mad man decides to teach you Song of Storms (my favorite song of all time) not realizing that Link is the Ocarina kid from back then)
(Then Link plays the Song of Storms and it begins to rain outside complete with thunder and lightning (and it's also happening on the set!). The windmill begins to increase in speed and the music man becomes really angry)
"Ooo! Look! It's raining outside!" Navi exclaimed as she flew up and down.
"Oh, no! A storm again! You've played the ocarina again, didn't you! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!" the music man asked.
"I only played it once since I got in here!" Link claimed as he randomly appeared outside.
"…Odd…" Navi muttered to Link.
(Anju randomly runs up to Link)
"I bred a need type of miniature cucco! I call it the Pocket Cucco! I don't get goose bumps from this baby." Anju explained with a certain look of pride on her face.
"That's very nice?" Link asked, not sure what to reply; after all, a woman who is obsessed with chickens just randomly ran up to him and said she doesn't get hives from them anymore. That qualifies as way too much information…
"Cuccos are very good at getting lazy, late-risers out of bed. Haven't you heard of them before?" Anju asked.
"No…" Link paused.
"Oh, well... It makes them very happy to crow: 'CUCCKOOOO!' especially when it wakes up a heavy sleeper!
"I see…" Navi paused.
"However, my Cucco is not entirely happy right now… You… You look like you're good at handling cuccos." Anju told Link.
"I do?" Link asked, synchronized with Navi.
"He does?" Navi asked, synchronized with Link.
"Yes. Now, here, take this egg." Anju told Link, handing him the egg and disappeared.
"Thank you?" Link told Anju, but he didn't notice that she was gone.
"That was randomly odd…" Navi told Link.
(So Link got an egg, and Navi found out that the stinky smell was coming from none other than LINK! DUN UN! Maybe it's because he hadn't had a bath for seven years, or his whole life even…)
"I thought her egg looked upset…" Link paused, examining the egg.
"And how can you tell an egg's emotions?" Navi asked, Link shrugged.
(Link then randomly went to Lon Lon Ranch and left the Cucco alone for now. Link randomly entered at night to see adult Malon who was randomly (this chapter has very random reference) standing and singing in the corral, at night, all alone.)
"Please keep it a secret from Mr. Ingo that I sing this song." Malon told Link when he got close to her.
"But he didn't even say anything!" Navi told Malon.
"Whoops… Sorry…" Malon told Link as she bowed.
(Malon continues to sing, Link covered his ears)
"Maybe you should tell her that you don't like that song that much…" Navi whispered to Link.
"It's not the song I hate, it's the singing." Link told Navi, just loud enough for Malon to hear every word clearly.
"Excuse me?" Malon asked Link, turning around and facing him.
"You're excused." Navi told Malon.
"I am dreadfully sorry you had to hear that, my dear." Link told Malon, going close to Malon, dreamily (AN: I am sorry. My sister and me always role-play, as we are playing the game, that older Link is sort of a flirt…).
"He—hear what?" Malon asked, due to short-term memory loss.
This must be that short-term memory loss girl named Malon… Navi thought.
"Hear my…passion! Yeah, passion for you!" Link exclaimed, taking the better of the situation (AN: I do not like this couple, my sister does but I don't…).
"I see…" Malon paused.
"In fact I'd like to play a song in honor of your beauty (AN: What beauty? Jk.)." Link exclaimed, pulling out his ocarina.
(Link played Epona's Song for Malon, Navi looked at Link as if he was an idiot, who he was at this point)
"You… Do you know my mother's song?" Malon asked, very shocked indeed.
"It would appear so." Navi muttered.
"You taught it to me, seven years ago…" Link reminded Malon.
"Everyone really liked that song… my dad…even Mr. Ingo…" Malon started.
"Oh?" Link gasped, raising an eyebrow.
"But…since Ganondorf appeared, Mr. Ingo has changed completely. I can remember the good old days only when I sing this song." Malon told Link, a tear trickling down her face.
"Ohhh… That's why you sing that song with your beautiful voice!" Link flirted even if he had just insulted her 'beautiful voice' a few minutes ago.
"But you were the one that said—" Navi started, but Link stuffed her inside his hat.
"Also…Epona really liked that song. Only I could tame that horse…Even Mr. Ingo had a hard time. Hee hee hee!" Malon giggled, as if she had even forgotten what mood she was feeling a few seconds ago.
"So, all you need to do to tame Epona is play Epona's song?" Link asked.
"Umm… Yes…" Malon blushed.
"That makes sense…" Navi told Link, as she flew back out of his hat. "Considering the name of the song is Epona's song."
"I see… Where is mister Ingo? I haven't seen him in such a long time…" Link told Malon, as if he actually wanted to see the ugly freak.
"Umm… He's in the Farmhouse, in the upstairs room. He should be asleep…" Malon blushed.
"Thank you." Link told Malon.
(Link went into the Farmhouse and into the upstairs room (like Malon told him to), Mr. Ingo is asleep in the room. He has the lights on and is wasting electricity/lamp oil…)
"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ… S-Stop that song… I… I… mumble… mumble…" Mr. Ingo muttered in his sleep.
"Wow… He's gotten uglier over the years…" Link paused.
"Should I poke him, like I did to Talon?" Navi asked, starting to fly towards Mr. Ingo's sides.
"What will he think if he wakes up?" Link asked Navi as he pulled her away from the sleeping ugly person.
"Lets wake him up anyways then run away!" Navi exclaimed, a diabolic gleam in her eyes (?).
"Okay!" Link agreed, taking out his sword and poking Mr. Ingo with it.
"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ… S-Stop that song… I… I… mumble… mumble…" Ingo repeated.
"…" Link paused, "What the heck?"
"Poke him harder!" Navi exclaimed, pulling on Mr. Ingo's moustache.
(Link jabbed harder.)
"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ… S-Stop that song… I… I… mumble… mumble…" Ingo repeated, yet again.
"…He's like a broken record…" Navi blinked.
Not pausing to wonder what a record was, Link hopped up on the bed and began to jump up and down, making Ingo make a squish like sound. "Heeeeeeeeeyyyyyaaa! Mr. Innnngoooo! Waaaakkke uupppp!"
(Fun fact: Link can climb onto the bed and trample Ingo while he's asleep in the game. Try it, it's fun and it works :D)
"ZZZZZZ(squish)ZZZZZZZ… S-Stop that (squish) song… I… I… mumble (squish)… mumble…(squish)" Ingo blabbed yet again.
"WAKEY WAKEY!" Link hollered at the top of his lungs, into Mr. Ingo's ears, making him partially deaf.
"Oh, Din…" Navi swore. "This guy's hard to get up."
"Hey!" Link exclaimed, holding up the pocket cucco egg. "That Cucco Lady with the hives said that this egg likes to wake people up!"
"Hey! You're right!" Navi agreed. "We should hatch it and let it crow for this guy."
"Okay, then we just have to throw this egg at him!" Link exclaimed, not seeming to hear Navi.
(Link threw the egg, hard, at Mr. Ingo's head. It ricocheted off his forehead, leaving an indented bruise. The egg rolled across the floor, out the door and down the stairs; a loud cackle of panicked cuccos erupted from downstairs.)
"…" Navi stared.
"This is lame! The egg didn't even work. Let's get out of here…" Link whined, bored.
(Link shoved his hands in his pockets and walked down the stairs sulkily, Navi close behind. He picked up the unharmed egg from among the startled cuccos, and stuff…)"That is one hard egg…" Navi muttered as she and Link walked outside.
"Wait! I got an idea! Let's egg the house!" Link exclaimed.
(In end, the house only ended up being full of egg-shaped holes, which sucked, so Link decided to play the Sun's Song to make the day come.)
"This'll make the day come quicker and he'll only have a few hours of sleep!" Link cackled, going insane from the lack of having successful plans.
(Then Link went back to talk to Malon who was in the barn.)
"Oh…a visitor! It's been a long time since we've had a visitor here…" Malon exclaimed.
"Don't you remember us from last night?" Link asked sadly.
"I think I remember seeing a bright blue light saying 'That makes sense'…" Malon told Link and Navi, apparently she had forgotten the conversation from the night before.
"Ohh… I see…" Link mumbled.
"Where did you come from?" Malon asked.
"I think you should know by now…" Navi told Malon before Link could tell her.
"Well… Let's see… Since Ganondorf came, people in the Castle Town have gone, places have been ruined, and monsters are wandering everywhere. Mr. Ingo is just using the ranch to gain Ganondorf's favour… Everyone seems to be turning evil…" Malon pondered as she slowly turned away from the conversation.
"He did?" Link asked, gasping to win Malon's approval.
"But dad…he was kicked out of the ranch by Mr. Ingo… If I disobey Mr. Ingo, he will treat the horses so badly…so…there's nothing I can do… By the way… Where are you from?" Malon asked.
"Somewhere…" Navi told Malon.
"Malon, we'll free you from Mr. Ingo…" Link told Malon as he patted her on the shoulder.
"Come on! We have to demand Mr. Ingo that he let Malon stay as a servant—I mean… Let her go free!" Navi exclaimed as she tugged on Link's hat as if to tell him that if he didn't hurry up she would run away with the hat and burn it.
(Link went outside and looked for Mr. Ingo, who was standing by the corral)
"There are some people in Kakariko spreading rumors that I cheated Talon out of the ranch, but… Don't be ridiculous! That guy Talon was weak! I, the hard-working Ingo, poured so much energy into this place! I don't want any strangers like you saying anything bad about me!" Mr. Ingo snapped at Link for no reason as Link noticed the egg-shaped indented bruise on the man's forehead…
"But I didn't say anything!" Link told Mr. Ingo.
"Listen. The Great Ganondorf recognized my obvious talents and gave the ranch to me! I will raise a fine horse and win recognition from the Great Ganondorf!" Ingo chuckled, continuing as if he didn't hear Link.
"Which horse?" Link asked, suspiciously.
"Eh? What's that?" Ingo asked, "Don't mumble!"
"I SAID: 'WHICH HORSE?'!" Link shouted so that Ingo could hear.
"Never you mind! Say, young man, do you want to ride one of my find horses? Pay me 10 rupees and you can ride." Ingo offered.
"Kay." Link replied.
"What?" Ingo replied sounding slightly annoyed.
"I SAID: 'OKAY'!" Link replied.
"Do you want to hear how to ride?" Ingo asked.
"Naw." Navi answered.
"Pardon?" Ingo asked, frowning.
"NOWE DO NOT WANT TO KNOW HOW TO RIDE!" Navi shouted.
"Thank you so much. Heh heh!" Ingo chuckled, apparently mishearing Navi.
(Link entered the Corral and played Epona's Song, Epona came running towards him)
"AHHH! I DON'T WANT ANY MORE STALKERS!" Link yelled, remembering chapter 3.
(Ingo looked puzzled, apparently hearing Link's outburst.)
"I mean… This is a pretty horse!" Link exclaimed as he got on top of Epona.
"Eh?"
"NEVERMIND!" Link shouted, getting somewhat annoyed himself.
"Hey young man! Do I know you?" Ingo asked.
"NO…" Link lied.
"Oh… I just felt as though I've seen you somewhere before… If you use Z-Targeting, you can talk to me from horseback." Ingo explained.
"What's Z-targeting?" Link asked Navi and Ingo.
"I have no clue…" Navi muttered to Link.
"Are you ready to go home so soon?" Ingo asked, not hearing Link's question.
"NO!" Link exclaimed, patting Epona. "THIS IS PRETTY HORSY…!"
"Tsk tsk… When your time is up, I'll kick you out of here." Ingo warned.
(A few (10) seconds later…)
"Hey! Times up young man! You only paid 10 rupees! You've played around long enough!" Ingo screamed as he booted Link out of the Corral.
"Oww… Now I have a boot-print on my butt…" Link muttered.
"I did not need to hear that…" Navi muttered.
(Link paid to ride again and he got on Epona, again.)
"You're getting better! How about a little race with me? One lap around the corral with that horse. Let's make a little wager, let's say 50 rupees." Ingo offered.
"Sure." Link replied.
"Will you quit mumbling, darn it!" Ingo snapped, stamping his foot.
Link sighed, "SURE, I'LL RACE!"
(Link wins the race, easily.)
"Sh-Shoooot! If the Great Ganondorf found out about this humiliation… Hey, you! How about another race! If you win… you can keep…the horse!" Ingo told link, without letting Link speak.
(Link beats Mr. Ingo, again, not as easily)
"What's up with that horse!" Ingo screamed.
"I DUNNO." Link told Ingo, he wouldn't tell him about Epona's song.
"Is that Epona?" Ingo asked.
"YES." Navi told Ingo.
"How did you tame that wild horse right under my nose!" Ingo demanded.
"We didn't." Link told Ingo, telling the truth.
"I was going to present that horse to the Great Ganondorf…but I bet it on a race and lost!" Ingo screamed, not hearing Link, while acting like a kid having a temper tantrum.
"Too bad, so sad, hope you aren't very mad." Navi told Ingo in a sing-songy voice.
"Shooot!" Ingo cursed, then he got an idea. "Hah ha hah! As I promised, I'll give the horse to you… However… I'll never let you leave this ranch!"
"GASP! CHEATER!" Navi yelled at Mr. Ingo.
(Mr. Ingo closes the gates and Link is trapped inside the ranch)
"So… Now what?" Link asked Navi.
"First, find out what is making you smell so bad!" Navi demanded.
"Why?" Link asked.
"There's just something about you that stinks!" Navi complained.
(Link searches/sniffs through his stuff and after a while he holds the bottle of Lon Lon milk)
"This must be the cause…" Link told Navi, fanning his hand in front of his face.
"Wait… Is that the Lon Lon milk?" Navi asked.
"Yep." Link told Navi, handing her the bottle.
"I think I know why it stinks so much…" Navi told Link, looking at some wording on the side.
"Why does it?" Link asked.
"It says on the side, 'Expires: March 21, 100'… What year is it?" Navi asked Link.
"107."
"What day is it?" Navi asked.
"March 22."
"HOLY COW! THIS EXPIRED 7 YEARS AGO!"
"7 years and one day ago."
"Whatever, let's dump this over the fence over there…" Navi suggested, pointing to a wooden wall.
"No! Throw it at Ingo!" Link told Navi.
(Navi started flying towards Mr. Ingo, when Epona saw her. Thinking she was a blue (?) carrot, she started stampeding towards the fairy, with Link on her back.)
"Holy sh--!" Navi started, then flew away, afraid for her life.
(Epona followed Navi, ignoring the screaming Link on her back. Navi flew over the wooden fence of Lon Lon Ranch...and Epona jumped over after her...)
"GET ME OFF OF THIS CREATURE!" Link hollered as he and Epona soared over the fence to Hyrule field below.
"Hmm... so I guess that kid really didn't train that horse under my nose...he doesn't know anything about riding," Ingo mused, watching the scene, trying to figure out how he lost to an idiot who couldn't ride a horse.
(Meanwhile...)
"Where now?" Link asked shakily, trying to regain his composure.
"Since the Cucco has hatched, we might as well show it to a sleepy person…" Navi suggested, who had thrown the bottle of Lon Lon milk at Epona, knocking her unconcious, and giving her amnesia.
"Maybe Ingo?" Link suggested.
"No…he's already awake…" Navi notedas she picked the bottle up again--it might come in useful for something.
"Hmm…how 'bout Talon then?" Link suggested.
"Sure… Now where is he?" Navi asked.
"I heard some really loud snoring coming from one of the houses in Karaoke (he still calls it that…)." Link told Navi.
"How loud was it?" Navi asked.
"Really loud, considering I was at the other end of the village…" Link paused, and heard something. "And I think I can hear it quite well from here…"
"Let's go! But we need to get ear protection…" Navi pointed out. "Or we'll end up as deaf as Ingo!"
(Link and Navi went to Kakariko, the egg that Anju gave Link already hatched, so he went to go find Talon. After searching all of the houses, Link finally found Talon, and the people around him were wearing earmuffs. Link showed the cucco to Talon)
"-Roars—I mean…crows-" the Cucco crowed.
"What in tarnation? Can't a person get a little shut-eye around here?" Talon yelled, but it wasn't as loud as his snoring.
"Nope!" Navi exclaimed, flying up and down.
"Did you save Malon?" Talon randomly asked.
"Where did that come from?" Navi asked.
"Yeah, we did." Link told Talon as if it was nothing.
"Thanks! I'm going back to the ranch, then! Yeehah!" Talon exclaimed as he ran away from the village.
"All is a happy ending…" Navi sighed.
"Yeah…" Link paused to look around.
"I wonder what's going on in the forest right now… I'm worried about Saria, too!" Navi exclaimed randomly.
"Not another one of those spit-out-obvious-nonsense moments…" Link groaned.
"It's not my fault!" Navi exclaimed. "Blame the authoress! …But now that I mention it…I am wondering about Saria…"
(Link leaves the Kakariko and goes to the Kokiri Forest. Link proceeded to the Lost Woods and made his way to the Sacred Forest Meadow.)
Cherry-sama: Chapter 7!
Navi: (pokes Cherry-sama)
Cherry-sama: Stop!
Navi: Never! (pokes again)
Saria: this chapter has too much poking… Please review…