Chapter 8! (What could be worse than finding out the Mido comes BACK!!!! DUN NUH!!!)
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Legend of Zelda: OoT, neither do I own Tennis. In fact, I have no clue how to play the game so I'm just guessing!
Cherry-sama: Hi! And welcome back to Totally Messed!
Link: (reads over chapter 3) Say… What was with the junk about the sign in front of the camper van?
Cherry-sama: Well… that all has to do with 90 x 365.
Link: Pardon?
Navi: That would equal… (starts doing the math)
Saria: Please don't mind our quarrel about Math… Please read the story…
What would happen if the last stage of the boss, Phantom Ganon, was a Tennis match?
Wonder no more! I think I found the suspect for messing with my cue cards! I think it's that Evil Furby of Typos from one of my other fics… Anyways, you'll see how one boo-boo will mess up the whole storyline!
(Link left Kakariko Village and went to the Kokiri Village.)
"Link… Something looks odd about this place… It's different…" Navi told Link.
"Nonsense! Look! They planted a new flower here!" Link exclaimed while pointing at a man-eating plant.
(Plant reached towards Link and grabbed Link's hat! Link wouldn't allow this so he started playing what I would call, a game of tug-of-war!)
"GIVE ME MY HAT!!!!!!" Link yelled as he held onto his hat, bald spot glinting in the moonlight…or is it daytime?
(Link was very lucky that none of the Kokiris were outside or he would be laughed at…)
"Never!" the plant yelled back.
"Holy Deku Scrub! It's a talking plant!" Navi exclaimed.
"Yeah? So? Deku Scrubs are plants too!" the plant retorted, letting go of Link's hat.
"Good point." Navi muttered.
"YAY!!!" Link exclaimed while holding his hat up in the air, facing a random direction. "I GOT MY HAT BACK!"
"What an idiot…" the plant muttered.
"I know, and I've been forced to stalk him for seven years!" Navi exclaimed.
"Ouch…" the plant flinched.
"Pardon?" Link asked, only hearing 'seven years'.
"Never mind…" Navi told Link as she stalked him once again.
(Link, with Navi stalking him, goes to his house. There, right by the ladder, is another man-eating plant.)
"Another one?" Navi asked as she looked at the plant, which was about to say something.
"Hi! Welcome home, Hero of Time who-is-destinined-to-kill-my-kind,-that-won't-be-very-good-now-would-it! How may I help you?" the man-eating plant asked.
"I bet Mido is behind this! He always planted these by my house…" Link muttered.
"Umm… Link? Mido's dead…" Navi told Link.
"He is? Maybe that's why Maria was the head Kokiri seven years ago…" Link muttered.
"He wouldn't be able to plant a plant by you're house if he was dead, now would he?" Navi asked Link.
"Then Maria did it!" Link exclaimed.
"By the way…" the plant muttered, speaking for the first time in a while. "Navi… how'd you find out about Mido's death?"
"First of all, how'd you find out my name?" Navi demanded.
"I found out by…um… I'm not so sure myself…" the plant muttered.
"Whatever, we are out of here! I've got to find Maria!" Link mumbled as he stormed away, ready to slice off Maria's head.
"Hey! Hero of Time! I think she might be in the Lost Woods!" the plant told Link.
"Thanks, Lily!" Navi thanked the plant as she and Link walked to the Lost Woods.
(A random Deku Scrub walks over to man-eating plant, named Lily.)
"How'd she find out you're name?" the Deku Scrub asked.
"I'm not sure, Peter…" Lily told the Deku Scrub, named Peter.
(Link proceeded to the Lost Woods and made his way to the Sacred Forest Meadow. Along the way, he was stopped by a voice, which was blocking Link's path… I'm not sure how it happened either…)
"What are you?" the voice asked Link, Link looked around for the source.
"I'm a Kokiri…" Link told the voice.
"HA! Though you wear Kokirish clothing, you can't fool me!" the voice exclaimed. "I promised Saria I'd never let anyone through here."
"That voice!" Navi exclaimed.
(The ghost of Mido rose from the path in front of Link)
"AHHHHHH!!!! IT'S A GHOST!!!" Link screamed, hiding behind Navi.
"Wait! I've got a plan!" Navi exclaimed. "Give me you're Ocarina!"
"What about yours?" Link asked.
"I…um… Mine won't work!" Navi explained, not telling the truth.
(Navi played Saria's song)
"That melody?! Saria plays that song all the time! You…do you know Saria?" Mido's ghost asked Navi.
"Yep." Navi replied.
"That song…Saria taught that song only to her friends." Mido muttered to himself.
"No duh…" Link muttered.
"Okay…I trust you. When I see you…I don't know why, but I remember…him…" Mido told Navi.
"Who's him and why him?" Navi asked, confused.
"Never mind!" Mido told Navi.
(Mido let Navi through, not Link.)
"Hey! What's the big deal!?" Link asked Mido.
"I don't trust you!" Mido told Link.
"Relax, he's with me!" Navi told Mido.
"Are you sure?" Mido asked.
"Yep, this is his Ocarina!" Navi told Mido, holding up the Ocarina of Time.
"Fine." Mido told Link.
(Mido let Link through.)
"Bye Mido!" Link greeted.
"How do you know my name?" Mido asked Link.
"Because I— Hey!" Link started but Navi almost took Link's hat off.
"Come on! We have to hurry!" Navi told Link.
"Fine." Link mumbled.
(Link continued on his way to the Sacred Forest Meadow, when Link arrived at the edge of the maze, Navi stopped him.)
"From here on, we'll be going through some narrow passages! If you take it slow, maybe you can sneak up on some enemies. Use Z-Targeting to always look in the proper direction. Set your view so you can see down the next corridor before you turn a corner. Once your view is set, hold down Z to sidestep around the corner. That way you won't be surprised by an enemy waiting in ambush." Navi told Link.
"That another one of those spit-out-obvious-nonsense moments?" Link asked.
"Yep."
"And you said something about that Z-Targeting Ingo spoke of… What is it?" link asked.
"I'm not sure…" Navi muttered.
"Let's go through the maze." Link told Navi.
"No… Let's go through the camper van holes!" Navi suggested, pointing the holes from chapter three.
"Oh yeah…" Link muttered as he walked forwards.
(Link heard this yell as he got stabbed by a spear and got pushed against a nearby wall by a thing-that-the-authoress-thinks-looks-like-a-mutated-bulldog-and-the-authoress's-sister-thinks-looks-like-an-overgrown-gopher)
"Hey! Ow! What are you doing?!" Link asked as he was held against the wall by this thing.
"-Grunt, grunt, snort-" the thing replied.
"Pardon?" Link asked.
"I don't think it speaks English…" Navi told Link.
"What's English?" Link asked.
"I'm not sure… But I don't think it speaks Hylian…" Navi pointed out.
(The thing notices Navi and pins her to the wall, letting go of Link. Link took this chance and ran even if Navi was getting squished.)
(When Link got to the area where Saria used to play her Ocarina, Link found that she's not there. Navi joined Link after getting free of the thing. Link walked over to the stump where she used to sit and then over to the camper van, still parked in the same spot. Then Sheik appeared.)
"The flow of time is always cruel… Its speed seems different for each person, but no one can change it…" Sheik told Link.
"Where did you come from?" Link asked.
"A thing that doesn't change with time is a memory of younger days…" Sheik continued as if he didn't hear Link.
"Are you stalking us?" Navi asked.
"Well…um… No…" Sheik told Navi.
"Liar! Great! After we get rid of the random owl, we get a new stalker!" Navi complained.
"…In order to come back here again, play the Minuet of the Forest." Sheik instructed.
(Sheik takes harp out of his back pocket and plays Minuet of the Forest. Link played the tune with Sheik and looks at his sparkly Ocarina.)
"Darn… The glitter isn't off yet…" Link muttered while examining the Ocarina.
"Glitter?" Sheik asked.
"Yeah, Saria's fairy glued glitter on Link's Ocarina. And Link? Wasn't that on your old Ocarina?" Navi asked.
"Oh yeah…" Link muttered. "Let's see if the glitter's still there!"
"Well…um… Okay…" Navi muttered, while pretending to try and get it out of her pocket (?). "Uh-oh… I lost it…"
"WHAT!!! THAT WAS SARIA'S OLD OCARINA!!!!" Link yelled at Navi.
"Is this it?" Sheik asked, pulling out Link's old Ocarina.
"Say… It is!" Navi exclaimed.
"…How'd you get it, Sheik?" Link asked.
"I found it in the river by Hyrule Castle Town. I had to get the seven-year-old rust off of it… That, in itself, wasn't easy…" Sheik explained.
(Link got an idea of what Navi might of done… His thoughts were correct.)
"Weeelllllllll… Thanks for giving my Ocarina back! I'vegottogointotheForestTempleforrandomreasonssodon'teventhinkoffollowingme! Bye!!!!" Navi explained as she went into the entrance of the Forest Temple.
"COME BACK HERE NAVI!!!" Link yelled in rage.
"Link…I'll see you again…" Sheik told Link as he took a few steeps back and threw a Deku Nut at Link's feet, making him temporarily blind.
"I hate it when he does that…" Link muttered, still blind, crashing into the tree stump and falling over.
(Link then forced his attention to find Navi, who was at the other end of the temple by now because she was really good at picking locks. Anyways, Link entered the Forest Temple, got arrows. He then entered a room with 3 paintings in it.
"Stupid Navi…" Link cursed.
(After relieving his stress with the painting (which burned up when he put an arrow to them) a pretty Poe appeared on the lower level, holding a torch with a red flame)
"What's this?" Link muttered to himself as he looked at the pretty Poe.
"I have a name mister!" the pretty Poe snapped at Link.
"What is your name?" Link asked, putting on his flirting self.
"Why do you want to know?" the Poe asked.
"Well, with a gorgeous Poe like you, I must get to know what they're like." Link told the Poe.
"Name's Joelle, red Poe of the Poe sisters." The pretty Poe (named Joelle) told Link; she was starting to like this fellow.
"Link." Link told Joelle.
"Nice to meet you Link!" Joelle smiled as she put down her torch.
"And what are you doing alone in a place like this?" Link asked, smoothly.
"I haunt this place! I can't leave unless it explodes!" Joelle explained.
"Awww… That's so sad…" Link told Joelle, patting her on the shoulder.
(Joelle then randomly hugged Link, showing some emotion towards the hero. Then, 3 more Poes, each holding torches with different colour flames on them, appeared.)
"Joelle! What are you doing?!" they yelled in a synchronized way.
"Oh, hi! This is Link! Isn't he dreamy?" Joelle asked as she showed them the guy she was hugging.
"Hey!" Link greeted in a flirty manner.
"Sister, you are suppost to fight him!" the oldest, with the Purple flame, told Joelle.
"But I can't fight him! He's too hot!" Joelle, apparently the youngest, protested.
"Joelle does have a point, Meg…" the second oldest, with the Greenish-yellow flame, told the oldest.
"What! Amy!" the oldest (Meg) proclaimed.
"He is the hottest human that ever set foot in here…" the second youngest, with the Blue flame, noted.
"Not you too, Beth!" Meg sighed.
"Come on, Meg… What could possibly happen if we let him live?" the second youngest (Beth) asked Meg.
"Yeah!" Amy joined in.
"First of all, he's killed a few of the man-eating plants. Second of all, Ganondorf would kill us if he found out that we were keeping his rival alive just because we thought he was hot." Meg told the other three Poes that were hugging Link like Joelle was.
"He won't find out! Besides, we can always replace those man-eating plants anytime!" Joelle told Meg.
"You are all to soft-hearted for your own good…" Meg mumbled as she joined in the hugging.
(Just then, Navi flew into the room. She was sick and tired of waiting so she went to see why Link was taking so long. Navi froze when she entered the room Link was in.)
"Link… What are you doing?" Navi asked, very scared indeed.
"I met these cuties while I was waiting for you…" Link told Navi in the voice he had used on the Poe sisters.
(Navi stared at Link, who had his arms around all four of the Poes.)
"You do realize that they're dead… Right?" Navi asked Link.
"Yeah… So?" Link asked.
"You scare me Link…" Navi muttered to herself.
"Who's she?" Beth asked coldly.
"She's a fairy I've had following me since I was a kid." Link explained.
"Oooo! You were so hot that you had a fairy stalking you since you were a kid? That so awesome!" Amy giggled.
(Navi went bright red, literally.)
"N—no! I was assigned to be his guardian fairy by the Great Deku Tree." Navi explained.
"Oh, come on! Do you think we'll believe that?" Meg asked.
"I—it's the truth!" Navi told the Poe sisters.
"But is that really the reason why you follow him?" Joelle asked.
"Is it?" Link asked, for he was getting interested.
"N—no! He's my friend!" Navi told the Poe sisters, turning a brighter red than before. "Do you honestly think I would love this idiot?"
"He's no idiot!" Joelle yelled at Navi, hugging Link tighter.
"Yes he is!" Navi told Joelle.
"You only call him an idiot to hide your emotions!" Beth told Navi.
"THAT'S IT!" Navi yelled, red with rage, flying over to Link and grabbing the Master Sword.
(Navi held the Master Sword in a grip like Link's. She flew over to the sisters and started attacking. Four vs. one. After a few seconds, Navi won. (She must be good… O.O) Link was wide-eyed from how good Navi was with a sword at least 50 times bigger than her.)
"Is that the only reason you follow me?" Link asked, still curious.
(Navi swings sword so it was very close to Link's neck, threatening to slit his throat.)
"Do you want to be next?" Navi asked.
"I'll only shut up about that if you let me get you for throwing Saria's Ocarina in the river outside the castle!" Link told Navi.
(Navi turned white. She had forgotten about that. Navi instantly dropped the sword and flew as fast as she could to the boss's room, ditching Link once again.)
(Link went to the main room. All the torches were lit and the elevator was working.)
"Must have happened when Navi defeated the Poes." Link muttered to himself.
(When Link finally made it to the boss's room, he saw Navi flying/standing with Ivan.)
"Hey, Link! Guess who I found here, looking at the paintings!" Navi exclaimed.
"Ivan?" Link guessed.
"Weeee! A furnace wheel!" Ivan exclaimed, crashing into a painting and ripping part of it. "Or was it a Ferris Pipe?"
"OWWWWW!" the painting screamed in agony.
"…Interesting…" Link muttered.
(Then, Phantom Ganon appeared so randomly that he made Ivan want to build an audience chamber for Navi, him, and some random person that wasn't there yet.)
"Ahhh! He's so, random!" Navi yelled in terror.
(Ivan started to get to work.)
"Mwahahahahahahaha! I shall now hide in one of these paintings and you have to hit me while I come out of one of them to make me get off my horse and start shooting balls of light at you, which is a contradiction in itself because I'm evil and the symbol for good is light!" Phantom Ganon cackled evilly as he ripped off his mask.
"What was that?" Link asked.
"I mean…um… never you mind!" Phantom Ganon exclaimed while hiding behind one of the paintings.
"But I do mind!" Link yelled at him.
(Ignoring Link's last statement, Phantom Ganon ran up to the nearest painting, lifted it up from the wall and zipped behind it.)
"YOU CAN'T FIND ME!" Phantom Ganon cackled even though Link and Navi had watched him hide behind this painting.
(After many cuts and bruises, Link finally found out how to beat his first stage and beat it. By this time, Ivan had built a full, 5 star audience booth including lighting and a butler. I'm not so sure how Ivan got the butler either… Anyways, Navi, Ivan, and Phantom Ganon' horse (who was named PG-13) were now sitting in the booth while watching this Tennis Match.)
"Now I shall challenge you to a match of Tennis and I will win because I've even beaten Ganondorf at the silly game!" Phantom Ganon laughed as he started to make a ball of light with his scepter.
"Wait, wait, wait!" Ivan called out to the two. "Don't you play the game of Basket ball with Tennis rackets?"
"Ummm… Yes… But I don't know how to use them—" Phantom Ganon told Ivan, after figuring out that Ivan meant the game of Tennis, not Basket ball.
"No excuse! You need them if you're going to eat the moon! Anyways, here you go." Ivan told Link and Phantom Ganon (PG) as he instantly made PG's scepter and Link's Master Sword into Tennis rackets.
"…How did he do it?" PG muttered while looking at his new scepter, considering how low Ivan's intelligence was.
"AHHHH! Do you know how much I need that sword! It's worth at least 900000000000 Rupees!" Link yelled as he looked in shock at his new sword.
"Look, I'll give the Sword Master back when this gamble (game) is over!" Ivan told Link, holding up his, and PG's weapons.
"How does he do that…?" PG asked Link, Link shrugged.
"COME ON! Let's play some Tennis!" Navi yelled, throwing a spiky Tennis ball to PG.
(PG looked at the ball and shrugged. PG then threw the ball into the air and did a perfect serve. Link hit it with a dull hit.)
"Fault!" the horse called out. "PG's point!"
"Well, how can a guy hit a ball that had sharp spikes on it towards a Phantom that is 4 feet higher above the ground?" Navi asked the horse.
"Okay, GP (PG), on the ground with all the butterflies and windows!" Ivan commanded.
"Why?" PG asked.
"Cause it's not fair to Link!" Navi told PG.
(The game pretty much kept on going like this. After an hour, Link was beat, losing and had to find a way to kill PG without physically going over to him and beating him up with a Tennis racket)
"Point for PG!" the horse called out, proud of his master who technically shouldn't know how to use these so called Tennis rackets.
"Can't you see that the ball didn't hit the ground?" Navi asked, Link's only stronghold against losing worse than he actually was.
"It didn't hit the ground without holding onto a chainsaw first. Now it's Bob's (Link's) serve." Ivan announced.
"Navi!!! Got any ideas?" Link asked.
(Navi got an idea. She was in charge of the balls that were played in the game. So she rummaged through her pockets for something to help with Link's victory.)
"Link!!!" Navi called to Link, pulling out the bottle of sour milk from last chapter. "Use this ball!"
(Navi tossed the bottle to Link. After realizing her planed, Link hit the bottle with the racket and it hit PG right on the forehead, making him die.)
"Wow!" Ivan exclaimed. "It's a miracle! …Or is it a microwave?"
"… How evil is that milk?" Navi muttered.
Link struck an idiotic pose, "Woot! The power of Evil Milk never loses!"
(Link did a random dance. Then Ganondorf's voice appeared out of nowhere…)
"Hey kid, you did quite well…" Ganondorf smirked, but Link and Navi didn't know that.
"Thank you!" Link exclaimed.
"But have defeated only my phantom…when you fight the real me, it won't be so easy!" Ganondorf warned as he made burning (?) PG go into a black hole that randomly appeared.
"I thought he was better than you in Tennis…" Navi told Ganondorf.
"He's a…um… Liar! Yeah, a liar! What a worthless creation that ghost was! I will banish it to the gap between dimensions!!" Ganondorf exclaimed as PG screamed and disappeared into the hole.
"Ha, ha! IN YOUR FACE!!!!!!!!!" Link yelled at the voice.
"…He's gone Link…" Navi told Link.
"No I'm not!" the supposedly gone Ganondorf exclaimed.
"See?" Link told Navi.
(A poof sound was heard in the background.)
"NOW he's gone." Link told Navi.
"Yeah, yeah…" Navi muttered.
"By the way, pumpkins and toasters…" Ivan muttered as Link and Navi turned around to see that Ivan and the horse were still there.
"Yes?" Link asked.
"Saria wanted to see you…Link… She built this dirge (device) to transport you to her. She said some annoying guy named Rauru gave it to her." Ivan told Link and Navi while putting the portal out in front of them.
"I thought you just said she built it." Navi pointed out.
"I know; she did! With the help of the Wicked Witch of the West!" Ivan told Navi.
"Then how could Rauru give it to her?" Link asked.
"Simple, Rauru gave it to her for Christmas!" Ivan explained, but then Link and Navi realized that he was too stupid to give them a logical answer.
(Link walked to the portal. Navi was about to go when Ivan stopped her.)
"Navi?" Ivan asked as he grabbed her arm.
"Yes?" Navi asked, glancing over at him.
"I've always thought…that… you were the most priest like fairy I've ever met!"
"You mean pretty." Navi sighed, correcting the idiot. "And 'the most pretty' is not grammatically correct."
"So… I was wondering…" Ivan started.
"Yes?" Navi asked, fully facing him now.
"Could I join you and the cucumber (Link) on your adventures? Saria wished me so… I have no one to talk…" Ivan asked Navi.
"You mean ditched, and stalk. And I guess someone has to make sure you don't be too idiotic." Navi smirked.
"Thank you Navi!" Ivan exclaimed as he hugged her, Navi blushed (what? Who said romance couldn't happen in Totally Messed stuff?).
"Thank Nayru that nobody is watching this…" Navi muttered.
"Umm… I am…" PG's horse raised his hand.
(Navi froze, and Ivan was too happy to be smart, which he could only do if he thought really hard about it!)
"Portal?" Navi asked.
"What mortal?" Ivan questioned.
Navi sighed, "Portal."
(Navi dragged Ivan and flew into the portal.)
(Link, Navi and Ivan were transported to the Chamber of Sages. Saria appears before them.)
"Thank you…" Saria thanked.
"For what?" Link asked.
"First off, for befriending Ivan since I can't anymore." Saria started.
(Link turned around to see Navi and Ivan fluttering behind him.)
"Weeeee! Hi cucumber!" Ivan exclaimed, crashing into Navi and both falling to the floor.
"Second off, because of you, I could awaken as a Sage…" Saria thanked Link. "I am Saria. The Sage of the Forest Temple… I always believed that you would come."
"Awww… Thanks…" Link muttered as Ivan and Navi got off the floor, Navi was blushing hard for falling on top of Ivan.
"Because I know you…" Saria told Link.
"Saria… there's something I need to tell you…" Link started.
"No… You don't have to explain it to me…because it is destiny that you and I can't live in the same world. I will stay here as the Forest Sage and help you…" Saria told Link.
"But—" Link started.
"Now please take this Medallion…" Saria told Link.
(Saria gave Link the Forest Medallion! It's so shiny…)
"By the way… Link…" Saria started.
"Yes Saria?" Link asked.
"Could you do me a favor?" Saria asked.
"Sure!" Link exclaimed.
"Could you pay off my fine?" Saria asked.
"What?" Link asked.
"I parked my Camper Van in a 'No Parking Zone'. It's been there for seven years… The fine per day was 90 rupees." Saria explained. "Didn't you see the sign in front of it?"
"Yeah! But it was so bent out of shape that I couldn't see the front of it!" Link yelled at Saria.
"Let me do the math for how much that would be… 90 x 365…" Navi muttered to herself, doing a few calculations Ivan was too stupid to do.
"Whatever. Ifyouwouldjustpayitforme,thatwouldbegreat,thanks! BYE!" Saria exclaimed as Link got warped outside.
"Saria will always be…your friend…" said the voice on the wind.
"LIAR!!!!" Link retorted to the voice on the wind.
(Link got transported to the Great Deku Tree, Navi and Ivan close behind him. A shiny light was around a small sapling. Link bent close to examine it and it exploded in Link's face and turned into the Deku Tree Sprout.)
"Hi there! I'm the Deku Tree Sprout!" the Great Deku Sprout (GDS) told Link.
"Owww… My face…" Link muttered, face a bit charcoaled.
"Because you and Saria broke the curse on the Forest Temple, I can grow and flourish! Thanks a lot!" the GDS thanked Link.
"Don't mention it! I've always wanted a porcupine!" Ivan exclaimed, not worrying about Link's current state.
"Hey, have you seen your old friends?" the GDS asked Link.
"Noo…" Link told the GDS.
"None of the recognized you with your grown-up body, did they?" the GDS asked.
"He just said he didn't see any of them…" Navi told the GDS.
"That's because the Kokiri never grow up! Even after seven years, they're still kids! You must be wondering why only you have grown up!"
"Yes…" Link muttered.
"Well, as you might have already guessed, you are not a Kokiri!"
"I'm not?" Link asked.
"He's not?" Navi asked.
"He's not a tree stump?" Ivan asked.
"You're actually a Hylian! I am happy to finally reveal this secret to you!"
"I see…" Link muttered.
(Flashback)
"Sometime ago, before the King of Hyrule unified this country, there was a fierce war in our world. One day, to escape the fires of the war, a Hylian mother and her baby boy entered this forbidden forest. The mother was gravely injured…her only choice was to entrust the child to the Deku Tree, the Guardian Spirit of the Forest. The Deku Tree could sense that this was the child of Destiny, whose fate would affect the entire world, so he took him into the forest. After the mother passed away, the baby was raised as a Kokiri."
(End of Flashback)
"And now, finally, the day of Destiny has come! You are a Hylian, and were always bound to leave this forest. And now…you have learned your own destiny…so you know what you must do… That's right…you must save the Land of Hyrule!" the GDS explained.
"But I don't wanna!" Link exclaimed.
"Now, Link, break the curses on all the Temples, and return peace to Hyrule!!" the GDS told Link.
"That cloud over Death Mountain…there is something strange about it." Navi paused as she looked up towards Death Mountain.
(Link randomly went to the Lost Woods and talked to Mido. After explaining everything about Saria Mido spoke.)
"Oh…I see…" Mido muttered. "Saria won't ever come back…but…I…I made a promise to Saria…"
"Oh? What's that?" Link asked.
"If Link came back, I would be sure to tell him that Saria had been waiting for him…because Saria…really…liked…" Mido started.
"Go on." Link told Mido, for he was getting interested.
"Hey, you. If you see him somewhere, please let him know. And also…" Mido started.
"Yes?" Link asked, touched.
"I'm sorry about being mean to him. Tell him that, too." Mido told Link.
"Okay…" Link muttered. "Here… Take Saria's fairy… She ditched him…"
"Hey! What are you doing?" Navi yelled at Link, who apparently went insane on her.
"Just trust me!" Link told Navi.
"Pardon?" Mido's ghost asked Link.
"IhavetogotosomewherenamedCheesesodon'tbotherfollowingmesobye!" Link told Mido as he grabbed Navi and ran away.
(Link grabs Ivan and gives him to Mido. Ivan snoring madly.)
"Thanks…" Mido muttered as he held Ivan in his hands.
"Weeeee! Why am I being kidnapped by a bulldozer?" Ivan asked, looking at Mido.
(Dead silence. Mido looked at Ivan. This was going to be a LOOOONNNNGGG afterlife…)
(Link was walking out of the Lost Woods when he saw Maria. Link walked over to the young Kokiri girl.)
"That guy isn't here anymore." Maria told Link.
"What guy?" Link asked.
"Shush!" Maria's fairy told Link. "Let her continue!"
"Okay, okay Aurora… Jeez…" Link muttered to Maria's fairy (named Aurora).
"How'd you know my name?" Aurora asked, puzzled.
"Shush! Listen!" Navi snapped.
"Anybody who comes into the forest will be lost. Everyone will become a Stalfos, everybody. Stalfos. So, he's not here anymore." Maria continued.
"Who's he?" Navi asked.
"I'm not sure…" Link muttered.
"Only his saw left. Hee hee." Maria giggled.
"He had a saw?" Link asked.
"That medicine is made of forest mushrooms. Give it back!" Maria demanded.
"What medicine?" Link asked, turning around and seeing a random skull kid making medicine.
"Okay, okay…" the Skull kid told Maria, giving her the medicine, Maria then giving the random skull kid the saw.
"Heheheh? Are you going to be…too? Heheh!" Maria asked Link.
"Maria…" Link muttered, was this had become of the Korkiri's last leader?
"I'm sorry about the way she's acting… She's just been acting oddly ever since Link left the forest, seven years ago… She liked him…" Aurora explained (another Kokiri that has a crush on Link? Man! Maybe he is like the Poe Sisters thought he was…).
"Ohh…" Link mumbled.
"The last thing she said to him wasn't nice… She regrets ever doing it…"
"Who said Totally Messed was completely fun and games?" Navi asked someone (coughreaderscough), while facing a random direction.
"Who are you talking to, Navi?" Link asked.
"I don't know…" Navi muttered.
"And what's Totally Messed?" Link asked.
"I'm not sure of that either…" Navi muttered.
"You two are odd…" Aurora sighed.
"That's because they'll become Stalfos!" Maria exclaimed.
"Like me!" the random skull kid exclaimed.
"But you're not a Stalfos!" Maria told Skull kid.
"But this is what happens to little kids who enter the forest! They become Skull kids!" Skull kid told Maria.
"No! They become Stal-children!" Maria exclaimed doing a random dance.
"Okay then..." Skull kid paused.
"………Let's get out of here…" Navi told Link hinting that this place was weirder than it was seven years ago.
"Agreed." Link told Navi.
(Link then went to the Temple of Time (for random reasons) and randomly ran into Sheik, again.)
"You destroyed the wicked creatures that haunt the temple and awakened the Sage…" Sheik told Link.
"I know…" Link told Sheik.
"But there are still other sages that need your help." Sheik continued.
"That I didn't know." Link told Sheik.
"Sad…" Navi told Link.
"In order to awaken all the other sages, you must become even more powerful." Sheik told Link.
"I do?" Link asked.
"He does?" Navi asked.
"Yes, you do. You must travel over mountains… Under water… And even through time…" Sheik told Link.
"Oh jeez… That's going to be a pain…" Link muttered.
"At least I get to see you seven years older from now!" Navi exclaimed.
"It doesn't quite work that way… You see; if you want to return to your original time, return the Master Sword to the Pedestal of Time." Sheik explained.
"Back seven years? How could that be possible?" Navi asked.
"I'm not sure how it works either… But by doing this, you will travel back in time seven years…. The time will come when you have to return here quickly…" Sheik explained.
"There will be?" Link asked.
"I guess so…" Navi muttered.
"I will teach this to you for when that time comes… The song to return you to the Temple of Time… The Prelude of Light…" Sheik explained as he took his harp out of his back pocket.
(Sheik takes harp out of back pocket/butt and plays song. Link plays along and learns the song.)
"As long as you hold the Ocarina of Time and the Master Sword, you hold time itself in your hands…" Sheik explained.
"I will?" Link asked.
"He will?" Navi asked.
"Yes, Link will. Link, will shall meet again!" Sheik told Link while using another Deku Nut to blind Link yet again.
"I hate it when he does that…" Link told Navi while tripping over the Pedestal of Time and landing on his face.
"And what's with the glitter-glue part? Do we really need a second hand sticky substance to go back in time?" Navi asked Link.
"I dunno..." Link told Navi as he slowly regained his vision.
"Wait! Did Sheik glue the glitter on the Ocarina of Time?" Navi asked as the idea occurred to her.
"How could he?" Link asked, starting to be able to see Navi again.
"I'm not sure..." Navi muttered.
(Thus the question still remains to this day. 'When did the glitter get on the Ocarina of Time?' Anyways. Link finally listened to Navi's obvious nonsense moments and went to Death Mountain and randomly into Goron City to check on those lumps of clay that call themselves Gorons.)
Cherry-sama: Chapter 8!
Link: (reads over chapter) So… Why did you make me give Ivan to Mido?
Cherry-sama: One, because Mido's dead so his fairy ditched him. Two, because Mido turned out not to be such a bad guy. And three, I felt as if it would spoil the fun if Ivan was also part of this adventure!
Link: How could Ivan spoil our adventure? He's so stupid he would make it better!
Cherry-sama: But…
Navi: (still doing the math) …90 x 365 = 32850… Now times that by 7… Congratulation Link! You need to pay off 229950 rupees!
Link: WHAT!!!!!!
Saria: Eh heh heh heh heh… Please review before I get scorched, or sliced, or…
Link: I'll get you someday… Saria…