Chapter Ten! (Second story of mine to reach the double digits! 51 reviews? I FEEL LOVE-ED NOW!) :D
Disclaimer: I do not own Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. For if I did then I would own Mario and that wouldn't be that very fun now would it?
Cherry-sama: Hi! And welcome to the tenth chapter of Totally Messed!
Link: So what happens this chapter?
Cherry-sama: I stalk you!
Navi: Oh no…
Saria: Please read the story… Insanity is packed here including RutoxDark-Link…
Link: O.o
Navi: Oh-no…
What would happen if the Water Temple had no water? Or the Zora world was taken over by Jello?
Wonder no more! Even though I don't have EFoT, I'll get him soon! What? Why are you looking at me like that…? ON WITH THE STORY!
(Link entered Zora's Domain only to find that the place was suffering from a little frostbite… Or was it frost?)
"What happened here?" Link asked before slipping and falling on a randomly frozen puddle or was it frozen?
"Either the Zoras are playing a not-very-funny-joke on us or…" Navi told Link while explaining something the authoress isn't quite sure of herself…
"Or?" Link asked, getting up with a band aide on his head.
"Or this has something to do with the boss in the Water Temple who is currently looking up ways to cook Ruto without making her feel no pain. He is a Jello blob so I'm not so sure how he was able to freeze (or did he freeze) the Zoras in the first place. Or is this ice, ice?" Navi told Link, making Link not so sure what she was talking about either.
"O.O WHAAAAATTTT!" Link yelled, randomly defrosting the door to the Zora shop.
"I mean…" Navi told Link, but Link interrupted.
"Are you psychic or something in Zora's Domain?" Link asked.
"…Yes… I BLAME YOU AUTHORESS!" Navi yelled at the speakers above the set.
Thank you.
"Did the roof just speak?" Link asked.
"No, it's the narrator!" Navi told Link.
"The authoress is narrating?" Link asked, slipping and falling and killing himself once more.
"If you didn't know that Link, you are sad…" Navi told Link.
Incredibly.
"What? Now you are both ganging up on me?" Link asked while going into a random corner and moping. "You guys make me feel sad inside…"
You are not allowed to quote from my friend Neverender.
"O.o This is just getting plain weird…" Navi told the readers as she flew away to the place where King Zora sat.
"Wait up Navi!" Link exclaimed as he ditched the random corner and the narrator.
(Link followed Navi only to find her, frozen. No, not in the ice, but in shock. You see, Mr. Really-Fat-King-Zora-That-Is-A-Disgrace-To-His-Kind was stuck in what seemed to be cherry (OwO CHERRY!) flavored Jello.)
"Dude… What happened to him?" Link asked.
"He's frozen in Jello." Navi told Link.
My favorite flavor!
"We didn't ask for your help." Navi told the narrator.
But can I?
"No."
Plz?
"No."
Hmmm… Right here is a button that is labeled 'Backspace' on my keyboard. I wonder what would happen if I press it…
"Okay! Okay! Fine! Just don't delete us!" Link yelled, wishing for mercy.
"Link!" Navi yelled. "You've got to be firm!"
Good job, Linky-kins!
"O.O She's just like Ruto…" Navi muttered to herself.
"…We didn't ask for your help." Link told the narrator, hurting her feelings.
Awww… You make me feel sad inside…
"And you told him off for saying that!" Navi pointed out.
Neverender is my friend. I'm allowed to quote fromher since I know her.
"…Let's keep moving…" Link told Navi.
"Agreed." Navi told Link as they continued their adventure without the authoress.
Oh-no! You cannot ditch me that easily! Or can you? DANG IT! xC
(Link and Navi went to the place where Lord Jabu Jabu once sat, hopped across the icebergs and gradually madetheir way towards the left. Link went into the cave and began to solve the mini-dungeon. At the back room Link found some Blue-Raspberry/Blackberry/Maybe-its-Blueberry Jello.)
"This blue fire…it doesn't seem natural. Maybe you can use it for something?" Navi told Link.
"Navi. It's not fire; it's Jello. Floating Jello for that matter." Link told Navi, noting the moving gelatin in front of them.
Odd, isn't it?
"Not you again…" Link muttered, slapping his forehead.
Look, I would've gotten here sooner but you guys are too fast!
"What are we suppost to do with this Jello?" Navi asked the narrator, trying to get something productive done.
You bottle it up.
"We see that already!" Navi told the narrator.
"We did?" Link asked.
"Yes we did." Navi told Link while stealing his bottle, taking a bottle sized chunk and stuffing it in the bottle.
I'll tell you what you need to do with it later.
"Fine." Navi told the narrator while handing Link the bottle with blue gelatin in it.
"But I wanna know now!" Link yelled.
Too bad.
"But—!" Link protested.
Hiss…
"O.o" Link and Navi looked after that oddhiss.
(Link continued through this dungeon and walked over to the boss's room)
"So… What do I have to fight here?" Link asked.
"I dunno…" Navi told Link.
You have to fight White Wolfos.
"What's a Wolfos?" Link asked, but before the narrator could reply, a whitish wolf with red eyes, came out of the floor.
"How did it do that?" Navi asked.
"AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Link yelled as he ran over to the boss and hugged it.
"Arf?" the Wolf(os) arfed as it cocked its head.
"It's soooooooo cute! I'm going to name him Wigijigiland (pronounced Wigi-jigi-land)! I know! He can be our cute and lovable partner on our adventures!" Link exclaimed, patting Wigijigiland on the head, making Wigijigiland's newly combed hair all tangled again.
"I have a feeling I've seen this before…" Navi paused, forgetting the random events in chapter 3.
Déjà vu…
(Wigijigiland saw Navi and thought she was a blue steak (why are all the animals thinking Navi's some kind of food?). Wigijigiland ran over to Navi and snaped his jaws over her small and glowy body.)
"MMMM! MMMM! MMMM! (Translation: HELP! LINK! HELP!)" Navi cried out from inside Wigijigiland.
Dude… This is like a chapter 3 remix…
(Wigijigiland turned to Link, his red eyes pulsing in the moonlight (this is odd since they are indoors) and drool dripping from his chin. Wigijigiland ran over to Link and leapt into the air, ready to eat Link in a single gulp! Link misunderstood this and thought Wigijigiland was leaping into Link in a loving way. So Link opened his arms, ready to embrace Wigijigiland in a big hug! Wigijigiland then somehow stabbed himself on Link's sword and died (O.o dude…).)
"NOOOOOOO! NOT WIGIJIGILAND! HE WAS TOO YOUNG TO DIE!" Link screamed like in chapter three.
"According by its breath, it was—" Navi started but was interrupted.
Let me guess. 1 234 567 890 years old?
"…Yeah… How did you know?" Navi asked the narrator.
I'm reading off the script, right in front of me.
"Ohh…" Navi paused to see what Link was doing. "What the…heck?"
(Link was doing something very un-male like. Link was trying on new shoes. They were an ugly pair at that for they weren't very different from his Kokiri boots, just that they had an ugly metal on the bottom.)
"What in Farore's name are you doing?" Navi asked Link.
"I'm…" Link started, trying to hide his boots behind his legs, but failing (no duh).
"Link... That is something I'd expect a girl to do…" Navi told Link.
"But I found them in the chest I got for accidentally killing Wigijigiland…" Link told Navi.
Link…In your case, things can't get worse then they are now…
(Sheik fell from the roof.)
But then again… They can.
"We meet again, Link... And what are you doing?" Sheik asked, noticing the boots on Link's feet.
"He's trying on new shoes." Navi told Sheik.
"That's really girly, Link…" Sheik told Link.
"But they were…" Link started but he was interrupted.
In the chest you got after defeating the White Wolfos?
"Yeah…" Link muttered. "His name was Wigijigiland! And it's only really girly if you enjoy trying them on!"
Hey, you put them on in your free time without Navi nagging you to go-buy-new/wear-the boots… You technically did enjoy it.
"DID NOT!" Link protested.
"…Did the roof just speak?" Sheik asked, looking at the roof.
"She's the narrator…" Navi told Sheik.
"What's a narrator?" Sheik asked, because if you don't remember, they are somewhat in the middle ages.
"I'm not sure… But she's been stalking us…" Navi told Sheik.
I came here to help you try to free the Zoras.
"If you came here to meet the Zoras, you wasted your time… This is all there is… With one exception, the Zoras are now sealed under this thick ice sheet…" Sheik explained.
"Hello! It's Jello! And how can anyone be sealed under Jello?" Link asked.
"…I managed to rescue the Zora Princess from under the ice—" Sheik started.
"JELLO!" Link and Navi yelled in correction.
"…I mean Jello, but…she left to head for the Water Temple… This Jello is created by an evil curse…" Sheik told Link and Navi…and narrator.
"Jello created by an evil curse?" Navi asked in disbelief.
Dude. It's Jello! You make it at home in your refrigerator!
"What's a refrigerator?" Link asked, but he was ignored.
"…The monster in the Water Temple is the source of the curse." Sheik continued.
"How did the boss of the Water Temple make this much Jello?" Navi asked.
"…Unless you shut off the source, this ice—I mean Jello, it will never melt…" Sheik told them.
Who wants Jello to melt? People make Jello for eating!
"Will you let me finish?" Sheik asked.
Not without saying a few things in the middle of your speech.
"…If you have enough courage to confront the danger and save the Zoras, I will teach you the melody that leads to the Temple." Sheik explained.
"All of this trouble is just for a worthless drabble about Jello…" Navi muttered, slapping her forehead.
"Time passes, people move…. Like a river's flow, it never ends…" Sheik explained.
"But Jello just stays in one place!" Link exclaimed.
"…A childish mind will turn to noble ambition… Young love will become deep affection… The clear water's surface reflects growth…" Sheik continued, speaking a little louder.
"But Link hasn't grown at all… He's still as stupid as he was seven years ago." Navi muttered, looking at Link.
"What?" Link asked, shocked.
"Now listen the Serenade of Water to reflect upon yourself…. Play the Serenade of Water!" Sheik was now shouting trying to drown out Link and Navi's chatter.
You forgot about me. I have a volume control switch for the intercom, cuz I am the narrator with super narrating powers! I can even turn down your volume!
(A sound of a knob turning is heard over the intercom.)
"What did that do?" Link asked, looking around.
"I'm not sure…" Navi paused.
(Sheik took out his harp out of back pocket/butt and played the song, but no noise was heard. Sheik tried again. Nothing. Sheik then started playing his favorite heavy-metal rock song on the harp in an attempt to try and get sound back to his harp.)
See?
"—–––" Sheik told the narrator but Sheik had also lost his voice.
What?
(The narrator stupidly turned up Sheik's volume and the narrator had forgotten that Sheik was playing a heavy-metal rock song. When the volume was turned up, the authoress did it a little too high so the rock song screeched around the studio, making everyone on set temporarily deaf.)
…Owwww…
"My ears…" Navi muttered.
"AT LEAST YOU CAN HEAR ME PLAY NOW." Sheik told Link and Co., Sheik's volume still too high.
"Ummm… His voice is still too high…" Navi told the narrator.
Whoops.
(A sound of a knob turning is heard over the intercom.)
"An…no…I…sha…pl…th…so…fo…yo… (Do you know what he said?)" Sheik told Link and Co. in a small whisper.
"Too soft." Link told the narrator.
Grrr… This is annoying…
"It's your fault this happened! If you hadn't messed with Sheik's volume then we would know the song by now!" Navi told the narrator.
Hiss… Fine! I'll teach you the Song!
"Okay!" Link exclaimed, Ocarina ready.
"Bu…!" Sheik protested.
No buts!
(Music is played over the intercom. It was Serenade of Water. Link played along.)
There. Now I'll translate what Sheik is saying.
"Fina…" Sheik told the narrator.
Sheik said to me: 'Finally.'
"Li…I'…se…yo…aga…" Sheik told Link.
"'Link, I'm secretly young again'?" Link asked, trying to translate what Sheik said but doing a lousy job of it.
Sheik said: 'Link…I'll see you again…'
(Sheik used Deku Nut and disappears, leaving Link to be blinded once again.)
"I hate it when he does that…" Link told Navi and the narrator as he fell into the water in front of him. "AHHH!"
Silly Link…
(After getting his vision back, Link went to the King Zora with blue Jello.)
"So… Now what?" Link asked the narrator.
"I bet you pour the blue Jello on the red Jello!" Navi exclaimed.
Yes, you do.
(Link did just that and nothing happened, only thing that happened is that they made purple/Grape Jello.)
"And what should happen?" Link asked.
"I dunno." Navi told Link.
What? You think those two will just cancel each other out?
"Yeah…" Link told the narrator.
Fools! You are suppost to eat the Jello!
"O.o WHAAAAAAAAAAT!" Link screamed, randomly de-Jello-ing all the Zoras in Zora's Domain except for the King himself.
Jello is made so you can eat it, as I said before.
"That Jello has been on that fish of who knows how long! You want us to eat it!" Navi yelled.
Yes.
"We'll help you!" exclaimed a random Zora.
"We'll eat our King's Jello!" another Zora exclaimed.
Dude. It's sounds like you're going to steal his royal Jello away and eat it.
"How does that work?" Navi asked.
I'm not sure…
"Did that roof just speak?" asked a Zora.
"Yes it did! Now get to work and start eating!" Navi told the Zoras, handing them a spork.
"What's this?" the Zoras asked.
It's called a spork.
"What's a spork?" asked the Zoras.
A spork is what you are holding. Are you going to get to work yet?
"Yes, really-high-up-ceiling!" the Zoras exclaimed with a bow.
What kind of title is that?
"Never mind that! GET TO WORK!" Navi yelled, scaring all the Zoras half to death.
"Okay…" the Zoras replied feebly.
(The Zoras started eating the Grape Jello around the King's head. When it was completely uncovered, the King started to speak!)
"Oh—I've come back to life!" the King exclaimed, not able to move his arms or legs due to the gelatin.
"Just hold still highness!" a Zora told the King.
"Was it you who saved me?" the King asked Link and Navi.
No. It was your loyal Zora followers.
"Did the roof just speak?" asked the King, so shocked that his Grape Jello fell off.
Yes, I, the roof, did just speak. Why does everyone have to ask that when they hear me?
"I'm not sure…" Navi told the narrator.
"Don't be nervous!" the King told Link and Navi, and Co.
"About what?" asked Link.
"It looks like you—OUCH!" yelled the King Zora.
"What?" asked Link.
…You Zoras can stop eating now…
"Whoops. Sorry." the Zoras told the King, for one of them had bitten him.
"Ahem. As I was saying…It looks like you have a hard time breathing under water." The King Zora explained.
"Yeah… So?" Link asked.
"As an expression of my gratitude, I grant you this tunic." The King told Link.
What about your Zora followers? They did most of the effort!
"…They will get the week off work." King Zora told the narrator.
(Just then, all the Zoras in Zora's Domain squealed with delight.)
"As I was saying… With this, you won't choke under water." The King Zora told Link as the King handed Link something blue.
(Link received the Zora's tunic! Now in that he looks hotter than usual!)
"…Pardon?" Link asked, hearing this remark.
Never mind…
"Ah, I see… Princess Ruto went to the Water Temple…" King Zora sighed.
"O.O How did you find that out?" Navi asked.
"O.o I'm not sure…" the King paused, wondering how he knew that.
(Link then played the Serenade of Water and he warped to the Lake Hylia.)
"Those Iron Boots look like they weigh a ton! If you wear those boots, you might be able to walk to the bottom of a lake." Navi told Link.
"Since when have you wanted me to try on the new shoes?" Link asked.
"Since they might get you to the bottom of Lake Hylia." Navi told Link.
(Link put on his new shoes and he started walking into the water. He couldn't breath.)
"Ugh!" Link yelled as his head got under water; only he wasn't speaking so only bubbles came out.
(Link got back out.)
"What's the matter?" Navi asked as she too got out of the water.
"Look, you might be able to breath under water but that doesn't mean I can." Link explained, gasping for breath.
Link… You're suppost to—
(Navi got an idea.)
"I got an idea!" Navi exclaimed as she pulled out the sour milk.
Wait, Navi! Wait!
(Just the sight of the sour milk made all the water left in Lake Hylia to evaporate.)
"O.O That milk scares me." Link stated, taking off his boots and walking into the Water Temple.
(Link entered the Water Temple. Link saw that all the water in the Water Temple evaporated, including the boss's water! Link found his way into the Temple and entered the main room. Link went to the very bottom floor (because he reacted to the laws of gravity) in the Main room and entered the door on the right that had lit torches in front. Link looked around and found something he never wanted to see again.)
"Princess Ruto?" Link asked in shock.
"Oh no…" Navi muttered.
"Oh…you… If I'm right…Link!" Ruto asked. "You're Link, aren't you?"
"No!" Link exclaimed, trying to get away.
He's lying.
"Did the roof just sp—" Ruto started.
Does everyone have to ask that when they hear me?
"Yes." Navi told the narrator.
"Anyways, Link. It's me, your fiancée, Ruto! Princess of the Zoras!" Ruto told Link.
"I hoped it wouldn't be you…" Link groaned.
"What was that?" Ruto asked, infuriated.
"Nothing!" Navi told Ruto while covering Link's mouth.
"I see… I never forgot the vows we made to each other seven years ago!" Ruto exclaimed while hearts floated above her head.
Darn, she remembered! Link though.
"What was that?" Ruto asked as the hearts fell to the floor, cracking into a million pieces, as she tapped her foot. Lightning flashed behind her eyes.
"Nothing!" Link exclaimed as he remembered how she could read minds.
Oh yeah… I forgot that Ruto could read minds… Navi thought.
"And in seven years I've learned the ability to fly, vanish instantly, make Jello, see the future, and basically anything that a super hero could do." Ruto told Navi.
"O.O WHAT!" Link and Navi screamed together.
"Yes I have. See?" Ruto asked as she started flapping her fins and started to lift above the ground.
"Gasp!" Link and Navi gasped.
"Apparently I've learned how to fly like the Zoras descendants have in the future." Ruto told Link and Navi, landing on the ground again.
They are called the Rito.
"Ahhh, yes." Ruto paused, remembering the word that made that part have a crossover with Wind Waker.
Link. Since you evaporated the water guess whom you have to have in order to get places.
"O.O WHAT!" Link yelled, realizing that Ruto would have to carry him in order for him to get to the boss's room.
"You're a terrible man to have kept me waiting these seven long years for me to help return the favor for you carrying me around Jabu-Jabu's Belly… But now is not the time to talk about love or debts…" Ruto paused.
"Oh whew!" Link exclaimed as he wiped his brow.
"I'm sure you've already seen it! Zora's Domain—totally Jello-fied!" Ruto exclaimed with not needed drama.
"But we un-Jello-ed it." Navi told Ruto, but she wasn't heard.
"A young man named Sheik saved me from under the Jello… Though my father and the other Zoras have not…yet… I want to save them all!" Ruto continued dramatically/melodramatically.
"But we already saved them…" Link told Ruto, but he wasn't heard over the melodramatic waves that radiated the room.
"I want to save Zora's Domain!" Ruto exclaimed while yelling these lines with increasing melodrama, to the point that it's stupid.
…Ruto?
"You!" Ruto commanded, pointing at someone.
Who me?
"No! Him! Link has to help me!" Ruto demanded as she pointed her finger at Link, the only male in the room.
"Uh-oh…" Link muttered to himself.
"This is a request from me, the woman who is going to be your wife!" Ruto told Link.
"Are you sure about that?" Navi asked.
Don't get your hopes too high Ruto.
(Ruto glared at Navi and the narrator. I'm not sure how she did that either…)
"Link, you have to help me destroy the evil monster in the temple." Ruto told Link. "Okay!"
"Well…" Link started.
"Good. Inside the Water Temple, there are three places where you can change the water level." Ruto explained.
"But there isn't any water…" Link whimpered.
"…I'll lead the way. Follow me, quickly!" Ruto told Link and Co. as she flew upwards.
"RUTO! WE DON'T KNOW HOW TO FLY!" Link reminded the Princess.
"I do." Navi told Link.
So can I if I want to… For stalking purposes.
"Well, I can't fly like you two!" Link told the two that so proved him wrong!
"You can't fly, Linky? Whoops…" Ruto muttered as she flew back down to the ground and let Link grab onto her feet.
(Link, Navi, Ruto and the narrator flew up until they found a rag hanging on the wall.)
"Those who wish to open the path sleeping at the bottom of the lake must play the song passed down by the Royal Family." The rag read.
"I guess we can change the water level with this." Ruto paused.
In case you've forgotten, there is no water.
"Oh… Right." Ruto remembered. "What will happen if you try?"
Something stupid, you idiot. Navi thought.
"What did you think?" Ruto asked as she tapped her foot.
"Nothing!" Navi told Ruto. Crap.
"W-w-w-w-w-w-ell… Lets try anyways…" Link stuttered as he told them while he pulled out his Ocarina. Ruto's scary… If I have her as my wife then—
"Then what?" Ruto asked, getting a little ticked.
"N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-nothing, dear?" Link told Ruto, not sure whether or not it was the right choice to say 'dear' to Ruto.
"EEEEK! Linky called me dear! Just to show how much he loves me!" Ruto squealed, grabbing Link around the neck.
"…L-l-l-l-l-let's play the song…" Link stuttered putting the Ocarina to his lips.
"Linky also always knows that business before pleasure!" Ruto exclaimed with a very scary sparkle in her eyes.
Pleasure? For who? Link or you?
"Ruto." Navi replied.
(Link played song and then an enemy made of Jello appeared.)
"I have come to steal your soul!" the Jello thing cackled insanely.
"Oh yeah?" Navi asked, pulling out the sour milk.
"Gasp!" the Jello thing gasped, then died.
"Heh, heh, heh, heh…" Navi muttered as she tossed the bottle up and down.
"Navi… We've got trouble…" Link paused, bending down to the ground to get closer to something.
(Navi turned around to see that Ruto had fainted from the shock from the sour milk.)
"Uh-oh…" Navi muttered while flying over to Link.
"What should I do?" Link asked.
"I dunno, give her mouth to mouth?" Navi asked.
"You want me to give mouth to mouth to a fish?" Link asked.
Give it a try. She's your only way to get out of this dungeon.
"Why don't I carry her until she wakes up?" Link asked, clearly not wanting to give what would seem like a kiss to all (re)viewers.
"No excuses!" Navi snapped.
Actually… Link may have an idea there…
"Oh please! Not you too!" Navi groaned, for she really wanted to see Link suffer.
"Does that mean I win?" Link asked.
Yes it does.
"Ha ha!" Link sneered at Navi as Link carried Ruto over his shoulder.
(Link went through the Temple and entered this one room…)
"Man… Won't she every wake up?" Link asked, putting the Princess who had gained weight over seven years, on the ground.
Maybe you should think of something…
"Think of something? Like getting an idea?" Link asked, clearly confuzzled.
No! Think of something that would please Ruto! Like 'I love Ruto!'
"Ummm… Okay…" Link muttered as he thought that. I love Ruto.
(Nothing happened.)
"Now what, Genius?" Link asked the narrator.
Ummm… I'm not sure… Wait… Where are you guys, anyways?
"Aren't you with us too?" Navi asked.
Fine. Where are we anyways?
"That's better." Navi told the narrator.
"Say… Where are we anyways?" Link asked making the narrator and Navi fall over, but they got back up again.
(Link and Navi look around. They were in this room that had a tree in the middle of it. The rest of the room was shrouded in mist.)
"Yeah… Where are we?" Navi asked flying around, going near the tree.
(All of a sudden, an evil thing fell from the sky! It was… Jello?)
"Is that Jello?" Link asked.
It looks like you Navi!
(There, in front of them was a Jello Navi! Oh no! More annoying-ness!)
"HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT!" Jello Navi yelled.
"Do I sound like that?" Navi asked.
Yep.
"Oh joy…" Link paused, twice the annoying-ness.
"Say… I got an idea…" Navi paused. "If it does that to me then what would happen to Link?"
That's what was suppost to happen…
"Oh…" Link paused as he forgot about the Jello Navi, which randomly ran into the tree and died.
(Another Jello monster fell from the sky!)
"It looks like you, Link!" Navi exclaimed.
"No duh…" Link paused.
That is Liquorish flavored Jello. It is also known as Dark Link.
"Great… Now there are two Links…" Navi muttered to herself.
"At least there aren't two Navi's!" Link exclaimed for the Dark Navi had died a few seconds ago.
(Ruto heard Navi's last remark and un-fainted.)
"Oh my Nayru! Really?" Ruto exclaimed (with hearts above her head) as she looked around and saw Dark Link. "Linky-kins!"
"Uh-oh…" Dark Link muttered as he saw Ruto coming towards him with her arms ready to hug him.
(As soon as Ruto hugged Dark Link, Dark Link was hit by some kind of love potion… Odd…)
"Why hello there, beautiful!" Dark Link exclaimed with hearts above his head too, like Ruto's only smaller.
"Two Links! I'm so happy!" Ruto squealed in delight.
"What the—?" Link asked as he watched his Jello clone flirt with the ugly fish.
What? Would you rather it be you doing that?
"Well, no… But I do that?" Link asked.
"Yes. But to regular females." Navi replied.
Once you beat the boss of the Water Temple then Dark Link will vanish. Do want me to make him solid so he won't disappear?
"Ummm… Why?" Link asked.
"Yeah. Why?" Navi asked.
If he disappears then you'll be the one in Ruto's arms.
"…DO IT NOW!" Link commanded the narrator.
Okay, okay…
(Dark Link became solid and Hylian! Just like Link only in a black outfit and red eyes!)
"Yay!" Ruto exclaimed.
"Now how do we get out?" Navi asked.
"I'll open the door for you!" Dark Link exclaimed as the mist disappeared and next door was visible.
"Say… Dark Link…" Link muttered.
"Yes?" Dark Link asked, with an imprint of a kiss, made of seaweed lipstick, on his cheek.
"Where did you buy that outfit?" Link asked, wondering if that style would make him a chick magnet, for it worked with Ruto.
"LINK! First shoes, now clothes! What has gotten into you?" Navi nagged.
Something the readers will never find out. Or me for that matter…
(Link, Dark Link, Navi, Ruto and the narrator continued along with no Dark Navi, because she's dead. When the team entered the Boss's Room, they were surprised to see that the room was completely white!)
"Link! Look out! That isn't normal water over there!" Navi screamed in terror.
"Navi. There is no water!" Link yelled at Navi.
"Then what do you call that white thing over there?" Navi asked, pointing to a white box of some kind.
That's a refrigerator.
"Did the roof just speak?" Dark Link asked.
"Yep." Navi told Dark Link.
If you only noticed me now, that is sad…
"Geez… Thanks." Dark Link grumbled.
(Then, randomly, the door of the refrigerator opened showing the largest hunk of corrupted Jello the world of Hyrule has ever seen!)
"AHHHHH! IT'S JELLO!" Link screamed.
"EEK!" Dark Link screamed, hiding behind Ruto.
"YOU ARE MEN, AREN'T YOU? THEN FIGHT IT!" Ruto yelled louder than Link and Dark Link.
"Okay…" they replied feebly, nothing compared to Ruto's evil glare.
(A few seconds later, they were being strangled by the blue goop and thrown back to the watching females.)
Sad…
"Wait! I got an idea!" Ruto exclaimed, pulling Link's blue tunic out of nowhere. "Wear this!"
(Ruto threw the tunic to Link. Link instantaneous put it on without taking the other one off. Odd. Link ran towards the Jello beast and got thrown back.)
How did you expect that to work?
"I dunno." Ruto simply told the narrator.
(Navi then got an idea. An idea better than Ruto's.)
"Pardon?" asked the evil Ruto.
Nothing…
"I got an idea!" Navi exclaimed, clutching something in her pocket.
(Navi took the bottle of sour milk and threw it at the defiled Jello. The cork came off of the bottle and spilled the milk all over the tainted Jello. It withered away in pain as the chunky fluid (xP eeewww…) diffused into it, and then, dramatically, the Jello died!)
"The power of Evil Sour Milk never loses!" Link and Navi exclaimed in a synchronized way.
Link? Navi? Look…
(Link and Navi turned around to see that Dark Link and Ruto had fainted from the smell of our favorite milk. Link and Navi didn't faint because they were used to the smell by now!)
"Well, let's just ditch them! We don't need them anymore!" Link exclaimed as he turned his back on the newest/strangest couple in OoT (like come on! Who pairs up Ruto and Jello? Eh?).
(Dark Link and Ruto heard Link's last comments.)
"OH-NO YOU DON'T!" Dark Link and Ruto yelled as the two got up.
"Wait…" Navi paused as she looked at the empty bottle.
"What?" Link asked.
"Crap! Now we don't have anymore sour milk!" Navi snapped as she picked up its remains.
"Don't' worry! All we have to do is go back in time and buy some more!" Link told Navi.
"Hey… You're right!" Navi exclaimed flying up and down.
"Huh?" Ruto paused, confused.
"Go back in time?" Dark Link asked.
"Never mind…" Link told Dark Link as he started to hide his Ocarina of Time in his most secret pocket.
(Link and Co. were then transported to the Chamber of the Sages by using Saria's transporting machine that was given to her by Rauru. Ruto and Dark Link appeared before Link, the narrator and Navi, the new/strange couple both on the water symbol.)
"Linky-kins… I would have expected no less from the man I chose to be my husband." Ruto told the man.
"Thank you!" Link exclaimed.
"Not you! Him!" Ruto snapped at Link while pointing to the Shadow/Jello person.
"But Link did all the hard work!" Navi protested.
"No… You did!" Ruto pointed out.
She does have a point…
"Zora's Domain and its people will eventually return to their original state." Ruto told Dark Link while ignoring the two.
"But they are already free!" Link and Navi yelled.
"As a reward…I grant my eternal love to you." Ruto told Dark Link as she ignored Link and Navi.
"Awww… Thanks honey…" Dark Link told Ruto.
"Well, that's what I want to say to Linky-kins, but I don't think I can offer that now." Ruto told the real hero.
"Yes!" Link exclaimed as he did a happy dance.
"I have to guard the Water Temple as the Sage of Water…" Ruto told Dark Link.
"That's okay… We can get married later…" Dark Link told Ruto while patting her on the shoulder.
"And you…" Ruto told Link, while turning her head to face him, "you're searching for the Princess, Zelda?"
"How did you—?" Link asked.
"Ha! You can't hide anything from me!" Ruto exclaimed, for she did read minds.
"I told her!" Dark Link told Link.
(The narrator looked blank.)
Oh… Cancel that last description for Ruto!
"Princess Zelda…she's alive. I can sense it…" Ruto told Link.
"Oh no…" Navi muttered, remembering the jewelry obsession.
"So don't be discouraged." Ruto told Link and Navi.
"But we already are!" Navi exclaimed.
"I can tell that nothing will stop you in your quest for justice and peace…" Ruto told Link.
"Finally! You can see that!" Link exclaimed in joy. "YEESSSSS!"
"You must take this medallion… Take it respectfully!" Ruto told Link as she gave him the Medallion and Ruto went back to hugging Dark Link.
That's what the King Zora told Link when he gave Link the blue tunic! W00T! Me pro! Me so pro!
"…" Everyone in the Chamber of the Sages paused.
(Link received Water Medallion! Wait! Why is there a picture of Princess Ruto on it? I hope she doesn't want Link to remember her…)
"If you see Sheik, please give him my thanks, okay?" Ruto's voice on the wind told Link.
"Okay!" Link replied to the voice on the wind, for he was happy that he wasn't getting married to the fish.
(The water level of Lake Hylia returned to normal (but it evaporated due to the evil sour milk! Why is it there now? I shall never know) and Sheik was oddly/randomly standing on the island in the center of Lake Hylia. Who wouldn't have guessed that Sheik would have been there?)
"As the water rises, the evil is vanishing from the lake… Link, you did it!" Sheik exclaimed with a smirk spreading across his face.
(Link was unceremoniously dumped on the warping platform.)
"Owww! That hurt! Why couldn't I have landed on my feet?" Link asked as he got up from his lying down position, evidentially he landed this way and he was feeling great back pains.
"I told you not to lie down while waiting to get here." Navi told Link.
Hey. There's Sheik.
(Link looked up from his position and ran up to Sheik.)
"Did Ruto want to thank me?" Sheik asked.
"O.o How did you know?" Link asked.
"I take that as a yes. I see…." Sheik paused. "We have to return peace to Hyrule for her sake, too. Don't we?"
No…
"Since when were you invited to help save Hyrule?" Link asked.
"Where is she speaking from…?" Sheik asked, looking around for the source of the narrator's voice, but she evidentially couldn't see the speakers hidden inside Navi's boots!
"Can you answer my question please?" Link asked, for he wanted to know why Sheik knew that Ruto wanted to thank him.
"No. Look at that, Link… Together, you and Princess Ruto destroyed the evil monster!" Sheik exclaimed.
"No… You forgot Navi and Dark Link…" Link told Sheik.
Navi did it all by her self.
"She did?" Sheik asked.
"Yep." Link told Sheik.
"Once again, the lake is filled with pure water. All is as it was here." Sheik told Link.
"Well… You shouldn't be thanking Navi! She made all the water evaporate at one point!" Link exclaimed.
"Geez. Thanks…" Navi told Link.
(Link walked up to stand beside Sheik. They look over the Lake. Isn't it beautiful? Just the four of them (because there are Link, Navi, me and Sheik). Sheik took a few steps back, used a Deku nut and disappeared! Link turned around to see that Sheik was gone. Link ran up to the tree and looked around.)
"At least he had the respect to not blind you this time." Navi told Link.
"But still!" Link exclaimed.
Sheik is in the tree.
(Link looked up to see that Sheik was in the tree. Sheik then jumped from the tree and splashed into the water, making Link and Navi soaking wet!)
"Instead of blinding me, he made me wet! The nerve!" Link yelled.
"I hope he drowns…" Navi told Link.
Fat chance. Sheik has scuba gear.
"O.o WHATTT!" Link and Navi yelled together, for they did not know what scuba gear was.
You have scuba gear too! It's called blue tunic.
"So that's what the King meant…" Link muttered, looking at his current outfit.
By the way, I have to go.
"O.o Why?" Navi asked.
Cuz this is the only chapter I'll appear in. Bye!
"Bye!" Link greeted.
"Link… She's gone…" Navi told Link.
No I'm not.
"Yes you are!" Navi told the narrator, being a sore loser.
(A poof sound was heard.)
"Now she's gone." Link told Navi.
"I hate you authoress." Navi told the authoress.
Cherry-sama: Chapter ten!
Link: Dark Link likes Ruto?
Cherry-sama: Yep! And you are invited as the best man for their wedding!
Link: O.O
Cherry-sama: Navi was also invited because Navi is one of the brides-maids!
Navi: O.O (chokes on seed) WHAT!
Cherry-sama: I'm going to be the priestess and every reviewer who wants to come, can!
Link: Who would want to come to their wedding?
Cherry-sama: If no one comes to the wedding then you might become the groom!
Link: O.O EVERYONE! COME! PLEASE!
Saria: Joy… All heck will break loose. Please review.