Chapter 8:
Three days. It had been three days since he found out Sam had no memory. It had been three days since Dean fought with the doctor to give him the release papers. And a lot of arguing. The doctor finally gave in, giving Dean an ample supply of antibiotics, pain pills, burn cream, and strict orders to rest. And it took three days for the staff to get it through their heads that Dean wouldn't be leaving Sam's side. Screw hospital protocol. They could all kiss his ass for all he cared.
And it had been three days of sitting there, watching Sam sleep, and watching Sam wake up just to look at him and have no idea who he was. And the worst part was, this stranger in front of Dean. He still had Sam's voice, his expressions, but he wasn't Sammy. Every time they talked, Dean's heart broke a little more. He answered the same questions over and over. Finally, when Sam opened his eyes now, he remembered they were brothers. But he was an endless round of questions. Questions Dean just couldn't answer right now. How did you explain their lives to someone who's mind was a blank slate? Some one who woke up with a normal mind, they'd never understand or believe. And he was too worried about Sam's mental state right now to even begin to tell the truth. So he did what Dean Winchester did best. He dodged and deflected. But he didn't know how much longer he could keep it up. And he had no idea what he was going to do when they released Sam. What was he going to do? Drive Sam to a motel and say yeah, this is home. Until we leave to the next one. That was sure to not go over smoothly.
It was ironic really. Sam Winchester had wanted his entire life to be nothing but normal. To be a normal kid going to college with a girlfriend, with hopes to get married, have kids, and a normal job. Something he never was. But now, in a horrible twist of fate, this Sam was totally normal. All he wanted was to know about his life, where his parents were, what happened. He had no idea that they had lived their lives on the dark side, that they were hunting and being hunted by a demon. How could he break it to his brother a second time that he wasn't normal?
"Hey."
Dean was snapped out of his thoughts by Sam's voice. He gave his brother a warm smile. "Hey Sam." Dean was trying to refrain from calling him Sammy. It just didn't feel right. "How you feeling?"
"I'm good." Sam reached up to rub his head. "Still a little bit of a headache."
Dean nodded. For a minute they both stared at each other in an awkward silence. "So..." Dean started to say.
Sam interrupted. "You look tired man. How long have you been here?"
Dean's heart broke again. The concern in Sam's voice was all his brother. "I'm fine Sam. Look, the doctor said if you're doing okay you can get out of here tomorrow."
Sam smiled. "That'd be nice. I'm a little tired of the food they serve around here. I'd like to get something good." He paused for a minute, contemplating. "What's my favorite food?"
Dean had to smile. "Well, I'd say tofu, but you'd probably get all pissy."
Sam just gave him a confused look.
"That was a joke Sam." Dean shook his head. "Never mind. Tell you what, when we get outta here I'll take you anywhere you want and we'll eat like kings."
Sam smiled. "That sounds good." They paused in an awkward silence again. But once again Sam started in with the questions. "I know you said we're on a road trip, but since we were in that accident, are we going to go home now?"
Dean sighed. "Look Sam, I know you have so many questions. But I just can't explain everything right now. Just let the doctors take care of you and when they release you, we'll have a long talk."
A small look of fear flashed through Sam's eyes. "Why can't you tell me anything about our lives?" he asked quietly. "You're making me a little scared here. I mean, are we fugitives or something?" he asked with a shaky laugh.
Dean wished he could laugh back. Yeah, they were fugitives or something. "Look Sam. Don't be afraid. I'm your brother. It's my job to look after you. Just don't worry about anything. Just get better."
Sam nodded and the room fell into silence again. But as Dean looked down at the floor he could feel Sam's eyes boring into him. He looked up and yep, Sam was staring at him. "What?"
"Every time I wake up you're here." Sam stated.
Dean furrowed his eyebrows. "Yeah? I'm your brother. Where else would I be?"
Sam gave a small smile. "By the looks of you, you should be in the bed next to me."
Dean actually laughed. "Sam my boy, if you could remember right now, you'd know that nothing keeps me down in bed for long."
"That's the problem." Sam mumbled. He laid back and got comfortable on the bed again.
"Aw Sam. You heard what the doctor said. Give it time. He's pretty sure your memory's gonna come back."
"And if it doesn't?" Sam asked sadly.
Dean got up and stood over Sam. He patted him lightly on the arm. "Then we'll work it out. Weather you remember me or not, I'm still your big brother. I'll always take care of you."
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The next afternoon Dean and Sam were getting comfortable back at their hotel room. Dean had abandoned the one they were originally staying at and rented a nicer room, one with two bedrooms. He figured, given the circumstances Sam would appreciate it. Not that his brother even remembered they usually shared a room. And true to his word, Dean had taken them to a nice restaurant and they had in fact eaten like kings. They also got a myriad of looks from people. Both Dean and Sam had to laugh. They did look a mess still.
But now, Sam was resting on the couch in the living area watching tv, and Dean was staring at the laptop, stress causing his brows to furrow and his lips to frown. Just that morning he had received a call from an David, an old friend. Dean didn't have many friends or people to count on, and he had hit it off well with David. He had helped David out with a black dog situation a couple of years back. He then stuck around town for a while and hung out with David. Dean genuinely liked the guy and David had treated him good, even paying him for the job afterwards. Now it seemed as though his sister was having trouble with the new house she just moved into. Dean had surmised it was probably an average haunting. An easy salt and burning of the bones and all would be well again.
Of course, that phone call was what brought on the added stress. He couldn't say no to the job. It wouldn't be right. But he sure as hell couldn't drag Sam along with him, and there was no way he was leaving him behind in some strange motel room. What the hell was he going to do?
"You look upset." Sam spoke up.
Dean looked up to find his brother staring intently at him. "Just thinking." Dean replied.
Sam paused for a minute. He wanted some more answers, but every time he asked Dean anything, his brother seemed to get mad. But how was he supposed to get his memory back if he didn't get those answers? "Thinking about telling me some more about my life?" He tried.
Dean sighed. He knew he couldn't deflect much longer, at least not without alienating his own brother. But now was not the time. "Look Sam. Can we not get into this right now?"
"Why? I mean come on Dean. You're supposed to be brother. Why won't you help me?" Sam pleaded.
That plead tore into Dean's heart. But he had to stay strong. Sam would understand. Or so he hoped. "Look Sam. I got a phone call from an old friend. He needs some help and I can't say no right now."
"So what's that supposed to mean?" Sam said angrily. He was beyond frustrated. He just couldn't understand why this person who claimed to be his brother was ignoring him.
"That means that we need to take a little road trip. I've been thinking. Where I need to go is only about an hour out from a friend of ours. His name's Bobby. I'm gonna drop you off there, take care of this then come back. And then, I promise you, I will sit down with you and tell you everything about your and our lives. I promise."
"So you're just gonna dump me off somewhere with someone I don't know." Sam spat out. He sat himself up straight on the couch and leaned forward. If his body felt a little better he would have stood up and got in Dean's face.
"You know Bobby Sam. You'll be fine there for just a night." Dean tried to explain.
"So you say." This time Sam did get to his feet. He rose to his full height, fists clenching at his sides. "Ever since I woke up all you've done is tell me what I'm going to do. You won't give me answers or explanations, and you act like I'm five years old! I may not have a memory, but I'm an adult Dean, and I deserve respect. Especially from someone who's supposed to be my brother!"
Dean was taken back somewhat. Sam may not have a memory, but boy he could have sworn he'd heard words similar to that a thousand times over. He took a deep breath and tried to steady himself. "Sammy, I get what you're saying man. I do. And God help me I wish things were different. Hell I wish I could trade places with you. But please, just have a little trust in me for a couple more days."
"I don't have much choice do I?" Sam spat out, then turned and hobbled to his room, slamming the door after he entered.
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They pulled up to Bobby's house a day later. The entire ride had been spent in a tense silence. Since their argument Sam hadn't said more than maybe five words to Dean. Dean reached up and rubbed at his head again. Between the injuries from their last job and the situation between him and Sam, his head had a constant throb.
As they exited the car Bobby came out to the front porch. "Good to see you again boys." he greeted.
Dean walked up and shook his hand. "Thanks again Bobby. I really appreciate this."
"No problem Dean. Like I said, anytime." Bobby turned to Sam. He noticed the tension and anger in the boy right away. He also sensed his confusion. He reached out a hand to Sam and shook it warmly. "Hey there Sam. I'm Bobby."
"Hi." Sam said quietly.
"Well boys, come on in. I got some food cookin' for you. Come in, take a load off."
The boys followed Bobby in, Sam reluctantly taking a seat on the couch. He let his gaze wander around the room. The place was a mess. But what really grabbed his attention was the amount of books. They literally covered the room. Sam was immediately curious and wanted to browse through them, but he reined himself in. He may have known this man previously, but he didn't now and he wasn't sure he should just help himself. He could hear Bobby and Dean talking in the next room. He couldn't make out what they were saying though.
He sat back and dropped his head to the back of the couch. The last few days since he left the hospital were taking a toll on him. He was beyond tired. His head throbbed, his body ached, and his mind was a maze that he couldn't seem to navigate. He knew his memories were there. They felt just out of reach. It was like wanting to say something that was on the tip of your tongue, but not being able to find the words. It was driving him crazy. And then there was Dean. Sam really did feel bad about how he had been treating Dean. But his brother was frustrating him so much. He could sense Dean was keeping something from him. But the harder he pushed, it seemed Dean shut him out that much more. He didn't know what to do.
"Hey Sam." Dean said as he re-entered the room.
Sam picked his head up and wearily looked at Dean. "What?"
Dean closed his eyes for a brief second, not liking the tension between them. "I've gotta get going. Bobby here will take good care of you. I'll be back by morning. If you need anything just call my cell."
"Yeah okay." Sam said cooly.
"Yeah...so, get some rest. See you tomorrow." Dean said. He gave Bobby a resigned look said a quick thanks and walked out the door.
Sam listened to the Impala roar to life and pull away. He couldn't help the quick tinge of guilt he felt for not being nicer. And he suddenly had a horrible feeling of being abandoned. He watched as Bobby came and took a seat in front of him.
"You hungry?" Bobby asked.
Sam shrugged. "A little."
"Good. Then come on in the kitchen. Hope you like spaghetti cause that's about all I can cook."
Bobby said and laughed.
Sam was already beginning to feel at ease. "Guess we'll find out. I don't really remember what I like."
Bobby laughed. "I seem to recall you enjoying my spaghetti. That was about the only thing I could get you to eat when you were young."
"So how long have you known me?" Sam asked him.
"Oh, I met your father before you and Dean were even teenagers. Never met two boys who were as different as night and day, yet so much alike. It's no wonder you've always driven each other nuts."
"Guess some things haven't changed." Sam muttered. "So, can I ask you some questions about my life?"
Bobby hesitated a minute. "Look Sam. I'm here to help. But I better leave that up to Dean. It ain't my place."
Sam felt another let down hit him hard. His appetite had suddenly vanished. He looked at his watch and saw that it was only eight o'clock. But he wanted to be alone. "Hey Bobby, I'm feeling a little tired. Can you show me where I'll be sleeping?"
Bobby got the message. He wanted to help the boy out, but he also didn't want to make Dean angry. It really wasn't his place to break the news about their lives to Sam. "Sure kid. Got the guest room all fixed up for you."
Sam lay on the bed staring into the darkness. His mind was buzzing with so many questions. And he was getting angrier by the minute. He felt like getting up, grabbing his bag and leaving. Just out of spite. But unfortunately he had no idea if he had anywhere else to go, so he resigned himself to the fact that he had to wait for Dean to return.
As he went to roll over and get comfortable, a stabbing pain shot through his head and his vision suddenly went white. He yelped in pain and grabbed his head, doubling over into a fetal position. "Oh God! What's happening!" he whispered. Then suddenly, like a movie playing in his eye lids.
He saw Dean. Dean in a field. A shovel and duffel bag laying at his feet. He was standing in front of a fire in some kind of hole. He saw Dean watch the fire, unmoving. Then he saw his brother bend down to grab the duffel bag. Dean suddenly stilled, as if he heard something behind him. He turned quickly but before he could do anything he was hit by something and sent backwards, landing hard on the ground. And not moving.
Sam's vision returned to normal suddenly. "Dean!" he screamed, launching himself out of bed.
-TBC-
A/N: Yeay, I can post! Just wanted to say, with the site not working so hot right now, that I sent a reply to all my reviewers on the last chapter. I hope you all got them, but if not, let me just say thanks again. And thanks to everyone for continuing to read!