Chapter 17

Foxgem: Oh my gosh! You would not believe it. My parents caught my story. Well… not of but they caught on my flash drive and I was given the 2-hour talk about how anime is the devil. Yeah…OH! And they were like, "You keep e-mailing this 'Foxgem' and you keep giving this person your filth." "I AM FOXGEM!" LOL! Gosh. Parents these days. Well that is my excuse for not writing sooner. So here we go…

Abandoned Chapter 18

Kikyo put her head in her hands and sobbed. Naruku sighed and wrapped his arms around her frail body. Kagome grew pale and clutched at her clothes. Not her sister. No…

Rin took immediate action. "Sango would you please take the kids to bed?"

Sango ran and picked up Kara who screamed for Kagome. Miroku scooped up Shippo and fallowed Sango.

Rin went to Kikyo. "Kikyo…come on. Try to think. Inuyasha is a brain surgeon and can do the operation."

"No." Inuyasha snapped. Everyone stared opened mouth. Inuyasha had the grace to blush but he still didn't back down. "I will not do it."

Rin ran to Inuyasha and gripped shirt and pulled Inuyasha so he was level to her. "WHY NOT?"

Inuyasha lightly (but firmly) pushed Rin away. "For a number of reasons."

"Name them." Kagome said softly. She could not believe all of this.

"Huh?" Inuyasha asked turning to her.

Kagome still sat in her dinner chair. She hung her head but spoke up. Inuyasha could smell Kagome's stress. Kagome spoke up, "Name them. I want to know why the man I love is refusing to help my sister."

With each word Inuyasha's voice got louder and stronger. "Kagome…I would really love to help…but it would do more damage if I did. In my profession it is important to keep you emotions out. Once you are connected to your patient your chances of messing up rises. I am too emotional for this. I wouldn't be able to do my best knowing that if my hand slips, my friend…my brother in law could die.

"Another reason why I won't do it is what if I can't take it out? What if something goes wrong and he dies? Could I live with that? And what about all of you? You would all blame me. I know you wouldn't mean to, but you would. Somewhere in your hearts you would all hate me. Naruku would always be between Kagome and me. I can't take that. Do you need more reasons?" Inuyasha whispered looking down.

Kagome stood and went to her husband. Kagome put her hands on his face. Inuyasha looked at her. She smiled. "We need to know what exactly Naruku is headed for, and is there anything you can do for him. Please?"

Inuyasha sighed, " Kagome…with brain surgery there is so many things that could go wrong. If the surgeon touches something that he isn't supposed to, cuts, or any slip Naruku could become paralyzed, blind, deaf, and many, many more problems. He could become a vegetable. But if he doesn't go through with it…he will die."

Kikyo clung to Naruku with wide scared eyes. Naruku just concentrated on his wife's face. "Inuyasha…what do you suggest for Naruku?" Kikyo asked scared.

"Go through with it. I know and trust a guy I went to school with. I can stand in the room and supervise the whole thing. I can conduct the whole thing and I can promise you I will do anything for him." Inuyasha sighed as held Kagome against him.

Kikyo slowly let go of Naruku and stood. Inuyasha stared at her. She looked like a statue. Completely in control. She stood there looking at no one in particular. If Inuyasha hadn't seen her chest rise and fall he would have thought she was a statue.

"I am suddenly tired. I will now retire to my bed. Naruku…" Kikyo was completely calm.

Naruku stood and offered her his arm. But that was not Kikyo's intention. Kikyo slapped Naruku, hard. Naruku took a step backwards, shocked.

"Kikyo?" Kagome whispered shocked.

Kikyo glared at her husband. "How dare you! You knew and you didn't tell me. How could you? I am a month away from giving birth to our pups and now you want to tell me. When where you going to do it, huh? Right after? Next time do not hesitate to tell me anything that has to do with our family." With that Kikyo turned around and walked to the door. Before she walked through it she turned around and faced the group. Then with a clear loud voice she announced, "I have no intention of loosing my husband. He will not die. This is the end of this talk. Inuyasha will supervise my husband's surgery as soon as possible. Inuyasha and I are leaving tomorrow for the U.S. and will wait for Naruku and Kagome to come. This is going to end." Then with that Kikyo left the room.

"Uh…good night and thank you, Inuyasha." Naruku said walking after his wife.

Inuyasha nodded and looked down where his wife was still in his arms.

Sango and Miroku walked into the room arm's entwined. "So what did we miss?" Miroku asked.

Sess waved a hand. "We will discuss it later in the car on the way home."

Sango and Rin moved toward the dishes but Inuyasha stopped them by the shake of his head. "Leave it. Tomorrow we will worry about it. Everyone has gone through too much today. Thank you so much Rin. You, Sesshoumaru, Sango, and Miroku have been wonderful. Thank you guys so much."

Rin laughed. "Right. Like you wouldn't do the same for us. All right we better be going home." Rin looped her arm through Sesshoumaru's.

"My wife is right. Brother, you worked so hard to come here for our wedding and do everything you could for us. We are just glad we could do something for you. But it is getting late. I do have to take her home." Sesshoumaru said bowing to his younger brother before walking out. But before they walked out Sesshoumaru turned around. "Do not expect me to thank you again. It is violating everything I believe in when treating my younger sibling."

"Wouldn't dream of it. Good-night." Inuyasha smiled.

Sango touched Kagome's arm and smiled. "It will be alright. Good-night." With that Sango and Miroku walked out.

Kagome let go of Inuyasha and moved toward the dishes. Inuyasha grabbed her arm. "No. You heard me."

"Let me go. I need to do them. I am not going to let the dishes just sit there. It is my duty." Kagome said struggling out of his grasp.

Inuyasha pulled her to him. "Your duty right now is to your self. You are tired and need a good sleep. You will need all of your strength tomorrow."

Without warning Kagome turned around in his arms and began to beat on his chest. Inuyasha smelt tears, and fear. "WHY? Inuyasha why? Isn't my son's pain enough?" Kagome sobbed beating his chest.

Inuyasha smiled sadly and just held her until her cries stopped and she sagged against him. "Shh…baby. It will be all right. Naruku is going to be just fine. I am going to do everything I can for him without endangering his life. Nathan is also going to be fine. You'll see. No matter what happens…I will love him as my own and so will you. If Nathan does get taken away from us…at least we will of had the pleasure of him being with us. Besides…he will get to be with his mother again. Nathan is going to be just fine either way."

Kagome pulled away, "No. I want him here. I want him in my arms. I want to be able to kiss his children. I want to be able to kiss away all of his fears. Why does Erin get to have him? I am his mother! He doesn't even know her! Why?"

"Kagome." Inuyasha said softly shaking his head. "How fair is that? She gave her life for him. She did the ultimate sacrifice."

"NO I DID! She took my husband! She took my life! Then when she came in I gave up my stupid feelings and I took her in and cared for her!" Kagome struggled hard.

Inuyasha didn't mean to but he lost it. Inuyasha grabbed her arms painfully and he lifted her up. Inuyasha couldn't stop himself. "KAGOME!" Inuyasha's voice was harsh and cold. "Have you completely lost it? If it wasn't Erin who stole Hojo, then it would have been someone else! If not then, then when? You could have had 3 children and then he would have left you. He was rotten! What about me, Kagome? If he hadn't have left you would we be together? Would you give up everything that we have, to go back to the way things were? Huh? Does Hojo come before me?"

Kagome stared opened mouth at Inuyasha. Kagome swallowed before answering. "Inuyasha…you…you're hurting me."

Inuyasha let go of Kagome and stepped back. His whole body wracked with pain. Did Kagome just think of him as a way of out? Did she really love Hojo over him? When they made love, did she see Hojo or him? Inuyasha didn't know if he wanted an answer.

Kagome shook with sobs that she held in. "Inuyasha…I'm sorry. I am so sorry…"

Inuyasha held up a hand and left the room.

Kagome watched him leave terrified. What was wrong with her? She loved Inuyasha! She hated HOJO! She didn't mean…no…she didn't! Was Inuyasha going to leave her?

Kagome knelt on the ground with tears running down her face. "Inuyasha…"

Later…

Inuyasha sat in their bedroom playing with his wedding ring. The pain that he felt couldn't be put into words. Outside he could hear the rain pounding on the house. Why did it have to rain so much here? Somehow Inuyasha felt like Heaven was crying the tears he wasn't shedding. Inuyasha put his head in his hands.

Just then he felt the woman, who had caused this pain, touch his back. Inuyasha stiffened. Kagome sat on the bed next to him. "Inuyasha? I know you don't want to hear me…"

Actually he did. More than anything. Would she hurry it up…to drag it out would be more painful.

"I…I don't know what I was saying. I…I'm sorry. I love you. I hate…I hate Hojo. I am just torn at the thought of loosing our son."

"Kagome…when you look at me, When we got married, when we make love…do you see me? Or do you see Hojo?" Inuyasha asked looking up into her eyes.

Kagome gasped in horror. "What?"

Inuyasha looked down at the floor. "You heard me. Do you see me? Or just the husband you lost?"

"You want to know the truth? Fine. You have it all wrong. Actually you have it backwards." Kagome said smiling. Kagome stood and walked to her dresser and began playing with the stuff on top of it. "I am going to tell you what I told my sister. It has always been you, Inuyasha. When I touch, look, or think it is always you. Not Hojo. It has always been you. Never Hojo. When I got married to Hojo and kissed him…it was you. I saw you. That is why I think I took Hojo's leaving me so hard. Because I thought it was you."

Kagome felt Inuyasha come up behind her. "You mean it?" Inuyasha asked huskily in her ear.

"Yes. But I have to know something."

"What?"

"Same question. When you see me…is it me? Or some past wife."

"KAGOME!" Inuyasha growled swinging her around. Before he could let out an angry mob of words he saw her face. She was smiling brightly. He was stunned.

"Inuyasha. I don't need you to tell me that. I know the answer to that one. I know you love me. I have no doubts. None. Why is it that you have doubts about me?" Kagome smiled sweetly.

Inuyasha opened his mouth once. Twice. "You…you snake! Don't you go swinging this my way! You were the one who implied it when you were yelling."

Kagome smiled shook her head. "Oh Darling. Don't you understand? I am trying to understand everything. I am loosing it. I have been through a lot this last year. I got re-married to the man of my dreams, I was attacked in my own home, I find out that the son that I had to work hard to love is dying, my sister's husband is dying, and on top of that I am trying to be a mother to 3 kids and a lover to their father. You know I love you. You are the one thing I can hang onto when things go the wrong way. You are my pillar of strength. How many times do I have to say it?"

"Kagome…I am trying. I have done everything possible for you. I would give up everything if it would make you happy. When you said…what you did, I felt as though everything that I had gone through for this family was for nothing. It hurt. Can you understand why I got upset?"

Kagome sighed and she went into Inuyasha arms. "I'm sorry. I am being selfish. All I can think about is what I want. I'm sorry. Can you forgive me?"

"Only if you give me a kiss." Inuyasha smiled as he hugged her tightly.

Kagome looked up into her husbands face and grinned. "I think I can do that, and much, much more."

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Inuyasha groaned as the sunlight intruded his bedroom. Why now? 5 more minutes. Inuyasha turned over trying to runaway from it. Inuyasha reached out only to find that the spot next to him was empty. Inuyasha opened his eyes and sighed. Sitting up he stretched, trying to find out where she was. He heard Shippo and Kara in the kitchen and smelt eggs and bacon. She must be there. Inuyasha got out and went to go to take a shower.

Half an hour later Inuyasha was out and dressed. Today he had to leave for his work. He had so much he needed to do. Inuyasha sighed as he thought of the piles of work on his desk. Inuyasha dressed in his black suit and packed.

Finished he went to go kiss his wife good-bye. On his way into the living room (Shippo and Kara were watching something on T.V.) Kikyo stopped him.

"Good morning. How do you feel-" Inuyasha began but Kikyo stopped him.

"I am coming with you." Kikyo frowned.

Inuyasha was struck dumb. "Wh…what? But you can't…I mean the babies. They won't let you fly."

"Did you not hear me? I am flying out with you today." Kikyo was dressed in her own black suit and her luggage was all around her.

Inuyasha fished for words. Why him? "What about Naruku? Will he let you?"

"He will do what I say. He owes me. I am not going to allow him go into surgery without me there. I have 2 days officially before the airport will deny me on their planes. I must go. Besides Naruku will help Kagome come with your 3 kids."

Inuyasha sighed defeat. You can't mess with a pregnant woman. "Does Kagome know about this?"

Kikyo looked surprised. "No. By the way where is she? I haven't seen her all morning."

"What? Who made breakfast for the kids then?" Inuyasha asked getting worried.

"Naruku. Isn't she with you?"

Inuyasha's heart stopped. It was just like this when his last wife died. No. Without thinking Inuyasha gripped Kikyo's arms. "Kikyo, when I woke up I was alone. Where is she? Where would she go? You have to help me find her!"

Inuyasha felt a hand grip his shoulder, HARD. "I demand you release my wife before I kill you." Naruku demanded harshly.

Inuyasha immediately let go and turned around to Naruku. "Have you seen Kagome?"

Naruku stared at Inuyasha in surprise. "No. I thought she was with you."

"Oh no! This is not happening to me again! I refuse!" Inuyasha ran into where the kids sat watching T.V.

"Have you seen your mother?" Inuyasha asked panicking.

Shippo and Kara looked at him with wide eyes. "Yeah," Shippo said returning to the T.V. "She said she was going to see Nathan."

Inuyasha ran out of the room and ran to the car.

Kikyo looked at Naruku. "Why didn't he just call her?"

Naruku shrugged.

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Inuyasha ran into the hospital at top speeds. He skidded to a halt before going up the stairs. What was wrong with that woman! Leaving the house without telling a grown-up about where she was going! No matter how fast Inuyasha was running, his heart beat him by a mile. He knew in his head that he was going to find her just fine. But in his heart he felt he was going to find her like he found his late wife. Dead with a child clutching her shirt. No! That was stupid! This was a hospital…where people died everyday. Okay that wasn't helping at all.

Inuyasha shook his head to clear his thoughts as he came to Nathan's room. Before opening the door Inuyasha took a deep breath. Then very slowly he opened it. The lights were off and he could hear Nathan breathing deeply. When Inuyasha's eyes adjusted he saw Kagome sitting on Nathan's bed holding his hand.

Kagome's face was filled with love for that little boy. Inuyasha's heart sank and was reminded cruelly that the little boy that laid in front of them wasn't going to last. "Kagome?" Inuyasha whispered.

Kagome jumped a little before registering that he was there. "Inuyasha? What are you doing here?"

Inuyasha waved a hand motioning that he wanted her to fallow him. Kagome looked back at her son one last time before fallowing him. Inuyasha shut the door behind her. Then he pulled her roughly to him. His voice was husky as he held her. "Kagome what were you thinking? You ran off without telling an adult where you were going! You have no idea how worried I was."

"Inuyasha? I didn't think—"

"Of course you didn't think!" Inuyasha growled.

Kagome smiled. Inuyasha might sound like he was mad but up against his chest she could feel his heart racing. It was in fear for her. Kagome wrapped her arms around him and snuggled into his chest.

"Stop that! I can't think when you do that! And you are not going to distract me!" Inuyasha said startled.

Kagome laughed and stepped away not paying it any attention, "Inuyasha, last night I couldn't go sleep. I kept thinking and thinking. Do you know what I realized?"

Despite himself he asked, "What?"

"That it is not about me. Everything that has been happening…it isn't about me. Remember how I cried about how it isn't fair and asked why is this happening to me. What about our kids? How is this fair to them? I was stupid and naïve. I learned a lot last night.

"Before the children came it was about me. My main purpose in life then was to take care of me. After the children came…it changed. It wasn't about me. It was about the family that I had a part of creating. Right now isn't about me. It is strictly about the children. I had my time. I had my adventures and my childhood. Right now…it is their time. As a mother my sole duty is to raise them the best way I can. I am supposed to help them fulfill their dreams.

"My family is everything to me. When I had Kara, all I concentrated on was to go to work so I could provide for her. It was about her. Not me. I took Erin in because I wanted to be an example to Kara on how to treat people. I adopted Nathan so that Kara wouldn't be alone in this. I mean…they had the same Father and I thought once they were older, after they found out, that they would be able to cling together and get through accepting it.

"Everything that has happened…I can't get caught up in it and think about me. I can't afford to. Because if I do that then I am leaving my family at risk and I can't do that. I worked so hard for this family. My trails aren't worth my family. Families are forever, while trails are only temporary. Trails are what you make them. They can either break you or build you. I need to be as strong as I can for my family. I love you and our kids. I am willing to do anything for you."

Inuyasha had to swallow a couple times before answering. "I don't know how to fallow that except that is one of the million of reasons why I love you. Not many people realize what it means to have a family, a true family. I love you so much." Inuyasha leaned down and kissed her.

After a while when they let go Inuyasha remembered something. "Oh my gosh, my plane!"

"What?"

"I have a plane to catch in 1 hour. I have to go home pick up Kikyo and try to get her on one. Oh boy. Kagome, next time you pull one of these stunts please let me know. I love you and would die if anything happened to you." Inuyasha traced her face with a claw.

Kagome quirked one eyebrow, "What? Kikyo is going with you?"

Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "It is her wish. The Airport won't accept her if she stays any longer here. She is coming with me to get the house ready for you and kids. Naruku will help you in turn. He will make sure everything goes fine. Is that okay?"

Kagome laughed. "Yeah. Kikyo always gets her way." Kagome's smile faded as she stared at her husband. They were going to be separated. Not for long…then again a day without him was like a century of darkness. Inuyasha smiled sadly as he read her mind.

"Are you going to stay here or are you coming home with me?" Inuyasha asked tenderly.

Kagome looked at Nathan's door and sighed. "I am coming with you. I need to see you off. Nathan isn't going anywhere. I will come back later and read to him."

"You will tell Nathan that I love him, right?"

"Of course, what kind of wife do you think I am?"

Inuyasha smiled. "A perfect one. Now, shall we go?" Inuyasha held out an arm and Kagome took it.

Foxgem: Hi guys! I know it has been a long time. But guess what…it is almost over. I think we have 3-4 more chapters before it is all over. I know…freaky. But cool. I promise I will write more and update quicker. LOL! Love you all!