Ooops! SO sorry for the delay! I just needed…inspiration. ((sweeps hand dramatically))
And yes, I own nothing. Not the Baudelaires, Count Olaf, The Ring, Winnie the Pooh, Piglet, Darth Vadar… RUB IT IN WHY DON'T YOU!
Back to our featured FanFiction.
"Briiing, briiing," went the telephone. Violet looked down on the object sitting so innocently on the table. Hesitantly, her hand reached for it. Holding her breath, Violet put the receiver up to her ear. "Hello?" she asked, in a quivering tone.
"…Bzztfshh…crkshis…zzzhizxx" On the other line, only a crackling static could be heard, much like that on the television in front of the other two Baudelaires.
Violet gasped in horror as if someone had put their arms around her throat. Old, gnarly hands with bad eczema. The same hands that one would use to light fires, sift precious gems stolen from the inherited fortune of certain orphans and prepare a pot roast with. The same hands as Count Olaf's.
"Hello!" Came a cheery voice from the other end of the phone, snapping Violet out of her recurring daymare. "Congratulations! You've just won an all expenses paid trip to the Bahamas for TWO WEEKS courtesy of ELVI radio stations! Remember, it's not the short from of Elvis, it's not an anagram of evil, vile or live; it's ELVI radio stations! You can pick up your ferry tickets from in one of our 57 locations from across the country. How FORTUNATE you must be! Have a nice trip…!"
Violet could feel the smile of the salesman (or saleswoman, you never know with some voices, Violet always had a throaty sound herself) all the way from the other line. She sensed some spinach stuck between the two front teeth as well. Dental problems aside, this wasn't what Violet had expected. Gasping for the second time in three minutes, Violet clutched her hand and to her chest, fearing to be the youngest person the suffer a cardiac arrest. She let herself get too caught up in movies…
A few mountain caves away, Alf O. Notuc smiled. Unbeknownst to Violet, this man was not who he appeared to be. Unbeknownst to himself, he had some spinach stuck between his two front teeth.
Like Al Funcoot and Fat Uncloo, Alf O. Notuc was an anagram of Count Olaf. Although Count Olaf hadn't been very successful in disguising himself from the three Baudelaire orphans (or from the landlord for his mountain cave, the annoying twit always saw through Olaf's Bridal/Gardener outfit…) he had caught up with the times, buying one of those $15 gizmos that change your voice, making it higher or lower, or making it sound like a cheesy salesman, Darth Vadar or characters from Winnie the Pooh. Now, Olaf's plan was well underway. Lure the Baudelaires to an irresistible island cruise, then BAM! steal their fortune and drop them off in a remote area with friendly locals…Friendly, cannibalistic locals.
Olaf rubbed his hands together and squealed in delight. Unfortunately, the voice changer was still on, so he sounded a bit like Piglet. Nevertheless, this was a cause to celebrate. Yes, Olaf thought, eyeing the plasma screen TV he had stolen earlier, this calls for a movie and some lightly salted popcorn.
A bit of a short chapter….but I have a bunch of the rest of it formed in my mind, I just wanted to get this part up so you guys could read it and get it back into your minds again (you haven't FORGOTTEN about my story, have you? ((gasp)) :O Well, I guess I didn't update for a while, but….). Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it and thanks so much for the reviews!