by now you have probably all given up on my and my story... i am SO SORRY. but the last few weeks have been complete chaos in my life. summer ended, school started, plus i was in a wedding in florida and without my computer... but i know you don't want excuses. i promise to keep up like a champ now that i'm back into my school routine. for a few days i was sort of "off" of potf for some reason. it happens. then i get right back into it... who knows why. anyway, here's chapter 3. i PROMISE i'll do better. if i could only get the damn line thing to work...
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The Kiss
Chapter 3
"Two Conversations"
"Phil is that you?" Phil's mother sang out to him as he sloshed through the front door, his mind completely scrambled by the recent events involving Keely.
"Yep. It's me," Phil said, sighing. He stood just inside the doorway not sure how to proceed since he was wet. Barb walked in.
"Is it raining, Phil?" Barb said, looking at her son whose soaking hair was plastered to his forehead.
"What gave it away?" Phil said, a little more sarcastically than he'd planned. His mother gave him a stern look. "Sorry, Mom, been a long day."
"Well, let's get you dry and then you can tell me all about it," Barb said. She aimed her Wizard at Phil and warm air blew all around him, drying his clothes instantly and leaving his hair sticking up all over the place. "We've got the house to ourselves. Your dad took Pim to the DMV for her learner's permit."
"You're kidding, right?" Phil asked, collapsing onto the Diffys' couch and covering his face with a pillow. He loved that couch. Furniture in 2121 just wasn't as… cushy. "Pim? Driving? That's just what the world needs."
"Can I get you something to drink, sweetie?" Barb called from the kitchen. "How about some hot chocolate?"
"That sounds awesome, Mom. Thanks," Phil said from underneath the pillow.
Barb brought in a steaming mug of hot chocolate and sat opposite Phil. "So, what made today so miserable?" she asked, smiling.
Phil sat up and took a sip of the hot chocolate. As he set it back on the coffee table he took a deep breath launched into his story. "Well, Mom, where should I start? You're positive Pim and Dad are gone, right?" Barb nodded. "Because I just really don't want Pim to hear me talking about this, but I have got to tell someone." Phil stopped talking and looked at his mother.
"Phil, you're okay, right? Keely's okay? Everyone's okay?" Barb's eyes widened. She looked worried.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Keely's… well, she's fine, too," Phil said. "But she's the reason I'm miserable."
"Oh?" Barb said. She was grinning.
"Remember the Shakespeare scenes we have to do for Messerschmitt's theater class?" Barb nodded. "Well, we had Hamlet at first, but then Via got mono so she and Owen couldn't do their scene so we switched, and now Keely and I have Romeo and Juliet," Phil said.
"Well, that's nice and romantic, Phil," Barb said, still smiling.
"Tell me about it. But here's the kicker: Keely and I have to kiss twice during the scene," Phil said. He blushed, fell back into the cushions, and stared up at the ceiling. "Messerschmitt's making us do it. That's what I've been doing. Kissing Keely all afternoon." Despite the rain that had poured all over him, Phil could still taste Keely's bubblegum lipgloss from that second incredible kiss. Tasting it made his body ache. He groaned accidentally, replaying the kiss in his mind. Barb noticed. It was agony being so close to what you wanted—getting it even—but still being so far away.
"And that made you miserable?" Barb asked. She cleared her throat. "I sort of suspected you had some special feelings for Keely, if you don't mind me saying so, Phil."
"Mom…" Phil rolled his eyes. "She's my best friend. I mean, maybe I do like her more in a not-just-a-best-friend way, sort of, I don't know… Or maybe I'm confused because she's a girl and I'm a guy and she's beautiful and we hang out all the time and neither of us dates anyone else and—" Phil looked at his mother. He knew she knew. "I'm not fooling you, am I?"
"Not at all, Phil," Barb said.
"Okay. I think I'm kind of maybe a little bit in love with her," Phil said. He covered his eyes with his hands.
"A little bit?" Barb asked.
"A lotta bit," Phil said, nodding. "She's all I think about." He groaned again.
"Oh, Phil," Barb said, grinning and teary-eyed. She sat down next to him on the couch and put her arm around his shoulders. "Your first love."
"Mom, see I knew you'd get all sappy," Phil said, removing his hands from his face and looking at his mother. "But this is serious. She doesn't know I feel this way. I mean, I think she could like me like that. Maybe… I really hope she does. It's so hard to tell with Keely because she loves everybody and we're together nonstop so I mean, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions. But this whole kissing-on-stage thing is crazy."
"How so, Phil?" Barb said.
"I mean holding her, touching her, being close to her, kissing her… it's all just acting," Phil said. "I'm acting like it's not real even though it feels like it is, at least for me, and I don't know if she's acting or if she wants it to be real and then we're on stage, you know, in front of all our friends and a freaking teacher. So very confusing…"
"It seems to me that now would be the perfect time to tell her how you feel," Barb suggested.
"I started to tell her… Well, I kind of accidentally said something weird," Phil said. He cringed.
"What weird something did you say?" Barb asked.
"After we ran through the scene, with all the kissing, we were sitting there in her room and it was sort of awkward and I sort of blurted out that I never thought that's how our first kiss would be, you know, like in a play. Not real, in other words. Acting," Phil said. Barb nodded. "But, I said 'first kiss,' which infers subsequent kisses, right? And that also pretty much says I was already thinking about kissing her… you know?"
"Well, honey, what did Keely say?" Barb asked.
"Nothing. At first. Then she said something like 'Don't worry about it, Phil,' or whatever," Phil said. "And when her mom came home, like at that exact moment, she practically pushed me out the door."
"Well, maybe she's a little startled by this..." Barb said. "She must have felt something, Phil. Otherwise why would she suddenly act strangely?"
"I don't know. Maybe she did feel what I felt. Girls are bizarre, Mom," Phil said, shaking his head. "And the one girl I fall for I only get to kiss while we practice a play. I couldn't, you know, go over there now and kiss her."
"Why not?" Barb asked.
"Because," said Phil. "Keely happens to be my much-established best friend. Isn't there some kind of friend code I'd be breaking?"
"Honey, best friend or not, if you're in love with Keely, you're going to have to do something about it," Barb said. "If you don't, you'll never forgive yourself."
"Easy for you to say," Phil said. "You don't have to worry about this kind of stuff. You have Dad."
"Well, how do you think I got him?" Barb asked, smiling.
Phil smiled back at his mother. "Look, Mom, this is Keely we're talking about," he said. "I guess I'm afraid I'll freak her out. She's kind of skittish when it comes to guys—and I'm her best friend first and foremost."
"I've seen the way she looks at you, Phil," Barb said, smoothing down her son's hair.
"Really?" Phil asked, brightening. "She looks at me?" He smiled.
"She looks at you the way you look at her," Barb said.
"Am I that obvious?" Phil asked, blushing. Barb grinned at him.
"Phil, just follow your heart. You'll know when it's the right time," Barb said. "Maybe this little kiss will give you both the push you need."
"Maybe," Phil said. But he had his doubts.
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After Phil left, Keely went back to her room, shut the door, and lay on her bed, watching the rain stream down the windows. "I never thought our first kiss would be like this," she said out loud. Then her cell phone rang. Keely checked the caller id. Via. She flipped it open.
"Hey V," Keely said.
"Are you still practicing?" Via asked.
"No, Phil left a few minutes ago," Keely said.
"Well?" Via asked.
"We did it. We kissed. Twice," Keely said. "He kissed me once, and I kissed him once."
"Oh wow, Keely," Via said. "So, um, well. Does this mean anything?"
"I don't know," Keely said. She lay back on her bed and groaned. There was a picture of Phil on her bedside table, smiling at her, orange flecks all over his shirt and in his hair. It was taken in the ninth grade, after the infamous Pickford tomato-stomping incident. The day Keely learned the Diffys' secret. "I definitely felt something, but I don't know about Phil… I mean, he did have this look on his face after, but I'm not sure if that was because of what we were doing or what. Maybe he was sleepy. He kind of looked sleepy."
"Hmm," Via said. "One of you is going to have to speak up, Keely. I mean I just don't see how all this guesswork will ever get you anywhere."
"Well I don't see you telling Owen how you feel," Keely said. She glanced again at the picture of Phil. She could stare at it for hours.
"I know, I know," Via said. "But it's a little different with Owen and me. We aren't close already like you guys are. It's not as… complex a situation."
"Yeah, I see what you mean," Keely said. She sighed and looked out the window.
"Why don't you just ask him out?" Via asked.
"Yeah, I guess I could," Keely said. "But what do I say? 'Phil, you want to go to the movies?' I mean we already do things like go to the movies. How would this be a date? How do establish what it actually is?"
"God, Keely, I don't know," Via said. "I'm sorry I'm not a lot of help. But, you know, maybe you could set up something kind of special… Like fill a room up with candles. Like on that episode of Friends."
"What?" Keely asked. "I don't know, V. I think I'm doomed to be boyfriendless forever. I wish Phil would do something…"
"I know. But you can't wait around for Phil. He's just so, I don't know…" Via said. "Phil's the type who would rather not do anything if it meant putting himself out there. He obviously values his friendship with you so much that he's afraid of wrecking it. That's what I think he's thinking…"
Keely mumbled a response to Via. She was replaying what Phil had said to her minutes before. I never thought our first kiss would be like this. She didn't want to tell anyone he'd said it partly because she wasn't totally sure what it meant and partly because she was afraid she'd overanalyze it and make it much bigger than it was—as if keeping it a secret made it true. Or made it truer, maybe. Maybe he was only being funny. Maybe he didn't mean anything by it. But maybe, just maybe he did mean it for real. That he'd been thinking about it. A first kiss. Suddenly Keely was aware of Via talking.
"Keely?" Via asked.
"Oh, yeah, sorry... kinda spaced out there for a sec, V," Keely said, her eyes lingering on Phil's face in the picture, her heart feeling fluttery and light. She smiled to herself as she looked at his face. "He's so cute, Via..."
"I know, Keely," Via said.
"And sweet," Keely said.
"I know," Via said.
"And..." Keely said.
"And?" Via asked.
"He gets me," Keely said.
"You're right. He gets you. In ways I'll never get you. He's your soulmate, Keely," Via said.
"But does soulmate mean boyfriend?" Keely asked. In the picture Phil's eyes looked surprised. Keely picked it up and brought it closer to her face. She looked hard into Phil's pupils. So hard she could see the camera lens reflected in them. She had been holding the camera. That was the day she learned about the real Phil. He'd trusted her with information that could have ruined his family, and she promised she'd do the same. Trust him with anything. Why couldn't she?
"I don't know, Keely," Via said. "Soulmates aren't always couples. But I think if it works out that way, it's even better."
"Yeah," Keely muttered. She wished Phil were there right then. Why did I make him leave? she wondered. He was probably so confused. And there was that weird moment when maybe he would have said something… "Ugh. I'm wrecking it before there's even an 'it' to wreck!"
"Come again?" Via asked.
"Sorry Via… It's just why did I make him go home? Why didn't we just have the conversation while he was here?" Keely asked.
"Because obviously you were ready to," Via said. "When you're ready, when Phil's ready, it'll happen."
"Are you sure he'll ever be ready?" Keely asked.
"Keely, I've seen how he looks at you," Via said."Plus I think he was really excited about getting to do the Romeo and Juliet scene with you today… He was smiling like the cat who ate the canary after class."
"No he wasn't, Via," Keely said. He looks at me? she thought.
"He was until you freaked out," Via said.
"I freaked out?" Keely said.
"Um, yeah," Via said.
"God I'm such an idiot," Keely said.
"Look, you're not an idiot. You're in love. You just need to relax and let it happen. It will, Keely. I promise. I wish I were as lucky," Via said.
"Thanks Via," Keely said. But she wasn't so sure it was going to be that easy.
That night as she lay in her bed, Keely Teslow couldn't stop thinking. There was no way she could relax and let things happen. She'd been so caught up in her real feelings for Phil that she'd nearly forgotten what she had to do Thursday: kiss Phil. Twice. On stage. How was she supposed to relax now?
