And here we are… all the way up to chapter 4! I'm so proud! Even tho 4 is not any kind of significant number at all…but whatever!

Disclaimer: although I do not currently own Inuyasha I check ebay every day just in case he's for sale.

REVIEWS!!! YAY!! I LUV YOU ALL!!

Now to respond! I wish I could think up something thoughtful and meaningful to say to each of you…but sadly me having wisdomosity (I luv those books!!!) is SO not gonna happen in this lifetime! Lol!

Kasatka: sorry I missed you last chapter! –sweatdrop- I'm soooo happy that you love it!!! And I totally agree with you about chapter three! Someone totally needed to slap Inuyasha there! Thanks for reviewing!!

CherryBlossomLove: my story is awesome?! Yay! Thanks for reviewing!!

Hakan of the immortal fire: thanks for reviewing!

Kougas #1 fan: yay! You love it! I'm soo happy!! thanks for reviewing!

Fiona-Angel: I'm glad you like my story and my depressing poem! There are many more coming! (poems I mean) Thanks for reviewing!

Thanks again to all of you! You were the reason I decided to update so quickly! I read your reviews and felt inspired! Well ok I had an idea before I read the review, but I wouldn't have typed it so fast if you guys haven't reviewed!!! I luv you all! (hmm…de ja vous…can't spell that)

Sorry if I missed anyone. If you liked it then thanks so much and if you hated it, well um that's your problem, I can't help it if I'm a bad writer! So there.

And now, chapter four:

Oo look the lines are thicker…oh whoops this is supposed to be the chapter title… heh, heh, I guess I'll just have to press the enter key…

Change of Heart?

Kagome sat on her bed next to her binder wondering what to do. She had just finished all her homework that she knew about for the next two weeks and it was only 11:45.

(A/N: I want to point out that I said the homework she knew about. So that's only the things already assigned. Therefore if she does hw in later chappies, it's not me screwing up it just means she got new hw. For example she gets a new math assignment every day that is due the following day.)

She was trying to decide whether or not she should do something. Finally she decided to, even though it was risky. Kagome got off her bed and knelt on the floor in front of it. Once again she pulled out a cardboard box. She dug through it for a moment until she found an old book. She pulled it out and went to sit on the window seat. She sat cross-legged on it and leaned back against the wall. (A/N: she's sitting in it sideways…the window is to her left, or right it doesn't really matter which.) Kagome balanced the book on her knees and began to read.

This book had been her mother's and was her most precious possession. It contained hundreds of poems, and she had read every single one of them. She loved every single one.

Kagome didn't realize how long she had been reading for. She was lost in the book and the memories it carried. She had reached her mother's favorite poem. Kagome read it aloud and with every whispered word she heard her mother's voice in her head, reading that poem. She had read it to Kagome so many times.

Kagome shut the book; she knew this would happen. She waited for the tears to fall down her cheeks; to burn their tracks into her pale skin.

But none came. She couldn't cry. When she had resolved not to cry anymore something deep down had clicked. Now she couldn't cry, not even if she wanted to.

Her mother's voice still echoed in her head, repeating the words of the poem over and over. Then the words her mother spoke changed. Suddenly she was back there, in that night, and this time there was no one to distract her.

"Kagome, Kagome, Kagome, Kagome," the voice echoed in her head, fading from a yell to a whisper. She stood up and shook her head, trying to rid herself of the voice, the pain.

She hadn't known when she said no more crying that it meant she couldn't get rid of the excess pain anymore; that those tears had been keeping her sane, even as they drove her crazy.

"Run! Get away from here; from him!" her mother screamed at her.

She fell to the floor, her breath coming in short, quick gasps, as it flashed before her eyes. The blood. The pain. And most of all, the death; that was one foul stench she would never forget.

"No," she yelled, not knowing she had said it aloud, "STOP IT!"

But the man standing over her only laughed. "You're a feisty one," he said with an amused smile. Suddenly it changed to a scowl,

"But we can change that."

Then there was the blood, everywhere; she couldn't see. Kagome knew what was coming next, but this time she didn't have time to run to the bathroom. She crawled about halfway across the room, and then reached out. She grabbed the waste basket.

Kagome threw up violently, her body shaking like a leaf in a thunderstorm.

When she was finished she didn't move. She just knelt there, breathing hard, the edges of the waste basket clutched in her hands. Her mouth was full of a disgusting taste, but it wasn't puke. All she could taste was blood. All she could think of was it trickling down her chin. All she could feel was the pain.

"Kagome?" someone asked. She didn't respond; she just tried to concentrate on slowing her breathing, calming down, but it wasn't working.

"Kagome are you ok?" the voice asked again. Suddenly Kagome recognized it as real, and not part of some warped memory. She grabbed it and held on, using it as a life line to pull herself to the surface.

"Kagome, can you hear me?" the voice was becoming panicked, "Oh, shit!"

The room cleared; her eyes that a moment ago had been open, but unseeing, now registered the world around her.

"Inuyasha?" she asked weakly. Kagome coughed, causing her body to shake harder.

"Kagome, are you ok? You scared me," he told her. He crouched in front of her.

"Water," she croaked. She still couldn't get the taste of blood out of her mouth and she knew soon it would pull her back in.

"Oh, yeah…duh, sorry!" he said quickly and then left to get her some.

'I scared him,' she thought, 'since when does he care whether I live or die?'

A minute later he was back with water. "Thanks," she whispered, accepting the glass.

He watched as she rinsed out her mouth and spat into the waste basket. She repeated the action and then gulped down the rest of the water.

"So I guess you really are slick," Inuyasha commented from behind her.

"No, I'm fine," Kagome said, and stood up. However, her knees gave out and she found herself falling.

Two strong arms wrapped around her waist and caught her. "I told you so," an arrogant voice remarked from behind her.

"No, I really am fine," Kagome said firmly. She pried off his arms and concentrated on making sure her knees didn't give out. When she was sure she wouldn't fall again she turned around and faced him.

"See, I'm ok," she said and then hung her head. "And I'm sorry if I made you worried," she said quietly.

"Feh, who said I was worried, wench," Inuyasha said with a scowl.

Kagome looked up confused, "You did; remember, you said I scared you."

"Keh, I meant I was scared Kaede would have my ass if she came home and found you dead…Why the fuck are you smiling dumbass?!"

Kagome was smiling; she had seen his cheeks turn a light shade of pink before he had blocked it out and scowled at her. 'I guess he does have a sweet side, hidden under all those harsh words,' she thought. 'Maybe eventually we'll be able to be friends. I think I'd like that.'

"And anyway if you're not sick then why were you throwing up? Are you Bulimic?" he asked.

"I do NOT have a goddam eating disorder!" she screamed.

(A/N: talk about mood swings)

"Owww! God, you didn't have to yell so loud," he said, rubbing his ears.

"Get out!" she screamed.

"Fine!" he said and headed for the door.

"Oh, and one more thing," she said, this time in a calm voice, "please don't tell Kaede I threw up."

"Why not, you don't want her to find out you're bulimic?" Inuyasha smirked.

"No," Kagome scowled, "I just don't want her to worry because I'm not sick and I'm definitely NOT bulimic!"

"Then why did you throw up," he retorted (A/N: 20 POINTS!!!...only Jessie will get this).

"Why should I tell you," Kagome's scowl deepened.

"Because if you don't I'll tell Kaede," she wanted to smack the smirk (A/N: heheheheheehe…smack the smirk!!) off his face.

'Damn,' she thought, 'I hate it when people have an advantage over me.'

"It's nothing," she told him with a sigh, "I was just thinking about something."

"And it made you throw up?" he said disbelievingly. She nodded. "What were you thinking about?" he demanded.

"Do I really have to tell you," Kagome complained.

(A/N: I'm running out of adjectives and verbs to use to describe what they say!)

"Yes," he retorted, "Unless you'd rather I just told Kaede."

Kagome scowled. "It's none of you're business, but fine. I was thinking about when my mom died."

Inuyasha smirked. (A/N: again)

"Oh, yeah. Thinking of those last, tearful, bittersweet moments by her hospital bed, holding her hand while she slipped away would make me throw up, too. At least I always feel like throwing up when I see soap operas like that," he said sarcastically.

Kagome turned away, so only for a second did he see the pained look on her face.

"My mom never was in a hospital," she said coldly.

'By the time He was done with her it was way too late for a hospital to do anything,' Kagome thought.

"Now go!" she suddenly yelled, turning to face him. Her hands formed fists, "I told you what you wanted to hear now GO!"

(A/N: two words: anger management….but then again we really can't blame our poor Kagome, she is scarred for life)

"Fine, God, you don't have to yell," Inuyasha muttered. He left closing the door behind him.

Kagome collapsed onto her bed wishing she could cry, that sobs would rack through her frail form. She wanted to cry in someone's arms. She wanted that someone to be her mother, but by now she didn't care; it could be anyone.

But she knew no one would hold her. Because she couldn't even tell anyone. Not of her pain and not of the truth.

All she could do was lie there, and be consumed by memories.

A/N: Isn't it sad! I had to end it here before I put in any Inu/Kag fluff that isn't supposed to happen until later chappies.

So, what's going on? Is Inuyasha finally going to be nice to Kagome? -gasp!- …lol sarah

Hahaha! Only I know! I feel so powerful! Hehe! Well bi for now!

-Becky : )