Blindfolded

Three

Jennifer sat for awhile, the ring in her pocket pressing against her thigh. She had rifled through every picture, letter and drawing and held every stuffed animal in that box, a hollow feeling forming in her body.

'It was around that time that it hit me, again, that my mom was really gone. It was strange, the first few days, expecting to see her struggling in the kitchen or painting in the extra room; then it punches you in the face, rams into you, how ever you want to describe it. yYou remember: she's not going to be there anymore.

'She was really gone... for the second time, I was without a mother or a father, since that bastard never came around. I did cry when my mother died, obviously, but not as much as I did today. All that sobbing and gasping... my silent tears and tiny peeps had nothing against this. I found it odd that I felt more comfortable crying in a stranger's house than I did back home.

'But, for some reason, I don't think I could have picked a better place to be at the time. In a room with my mother's things... with her fingerprints all over the place. A room she had stayed in when she was very much alive, without my father, to meet the person she could have had a life with.

'I didn't mention the ring to Soda when he walked in and sat down on the floor next to me. He didn't say a word.

'So we sat there. I was glad I hadn't bothered to put mascara on before I left, but you could tell I had been crying anyway. You always could. Even if you were a complete stranger and it was almost an hour later, you'd figure it out. But, the reason I was glad was because, at the very least I wouldn't look like a complete mess.

'But he didn't seem to notice me sniffling there next to him. He was looking at a picture of my mother.'

"Who was the father?"

"Huh?"

"You need to have two parents to adopt... who was he?"

"... He's not around much-"

"Jennifer..."

Jennifer sighed and looked down, picking at her shoelaces. "His name was Ronnie. But my mother didn't use his last name. I don't have a choice so-"

"Ronnie Bartnett..." Soda muttered. "They went to school together. Dally said he was bad news." He lightly tossed Alice's picture back onto the pile of photographs.

Jennifer bit the side of cheek and took a deep breath. She decided not to mention Dallas. It sounded like he was a normal person who wouldn't be receiving any mental messages anytime soon.

'Maybe my mother was insane... but as soon as Soda left, I pulled out that stupid ring and tried anyway.

'I was gunning for him to show up. Maybe because I didn't want my mother to be insane... Yeah, that's it. It has to be.'

'Five minutes later and nothing. But, I'm not going to admit my mother was crazy, that's just... wrong. So I tried again. Maybe I was expecting too much.

'Maybe I was crazy for believing something would happen. I distracted myself though, organizing the box so everything fit better. I was terrible at packing, so, I figured I should practice... while keeping track of the time of course.

'Soda left a sandwich on the dresser, which I didn't notice until he closed the door behind him as he left. I'm not a fan of sandwiches. They get crumbs everywhere and-'

"Glory, you definitely ain't Alice."

Jennifer screeched, her pencil skittering across the paper. She looked up, her face pale. "Who are you?"

"I should be askin' you that. Where's Alice? She tryin' to trick me or somethin'?"

Jennifer stared at him for a moment. The boy from the pictures. He was scowling again and since she was sitting he towered over her. Jennifer squeaked. She wasn't sure how he had appeared out of, seemingly, no where.

He glared down at her, "Well?"

"She's not here... are you Dally?"

"Yeah, who's askin'?"

"Uh, my name's Jennifer."

Dally frowned, the anger falling away. "You're her kid, ain't ya? Why are you here and not in Chicago?"

"Well, I can't really stay home by myself, that's just depressing," Jennifer let out a short laugh.

"She died and your damn father never came back, right?"

"Yeah, but how-"

"Look kid, I know a lot of stuff. It comes with the job. But that ain't no reason to come down here."

"Well, see, she mentioned Ponyboy and your ring when she was sick, so I came to find him and see what she was talking about and... if she was sane."

"... Even I'm not sure about that one kid. Last I saw her, she was pretty upset... 'bout Soda and your father."

Jennifer noticed that 'father' seemed to be a poison in this place.

"Why did they break up?"

"Oh, so she finally told you?"

"No, I just read it in a letter she left me a few minutes ago. I was just wondering... I mean, it must be pretty bad, since she never spoke of him. Or, did they just not have enough time for each other? That's what my grandmom said."

"You talk pretty proper for a fifteen year old," Dally said, fishing in his pockets. He pulled out a cigarette and a match. Jennifer waited as he put the cigarette in his mouth and lit the match using a necklace he was wearing.

"I'll be sixteen in a few months," Jennifer muttered.

"You really wanna know?" Dally asked, looking down at her as he smoked his cigarette.

"...Yeah, I do."

"No."

"No? No what?"

"What your grandmother told you was bullshit. They got on each other's nerves, from what I understand. They were just different. Soda usually took his time to think things out and he was pretty laid-back about everything. Alice always wanted to be doing something, dangerous or not and Soda didn't want that. He was worried she'd get hurt. Your mother also wanted a kid of her own... Soda didn't think that was too hot of an idea.

"See, he wasn't sure if your mom would have the same sickness that her father had, or, if it would be passed down to their kid, if they ever had one. Soda wasn't sure if your mom could even handle a kid. He thought she was still pretty unstable."

"Unstable?"

"Once upon a time, your mother was the opposite of what you know her as. Quiet, snappy, kinda scared of everything. I've seen her at some pretty bad times. A few times, I thought she'd finally lost her mind."

"Oh," Jennifer said, not sure what else to say. She remembered when her mother would lock her self up in the extra room for hours on end. Was that why?

"Anyway, your mom was a smart girl. She could tell that Soda didn't trust her that she wasn't bein' treated like a woman, but like a five year old. Least, that's what she said to me."

Dally paused to smoke his cigarette again. "Your mom also had a habit of drinkin' when they went out, which was probably my fault, an'... well, you could say her attention would wander.

"Well, Soda's had bad experiences with that before, so he wasn't havin' it. He got onto her about it and Alice just snapped at him. Said, 'Well, maybe there's someone else out there for me an' I'm missin' out. Someone else who doesn't treat me like a walking time bomb.' Soda just wasn't ready for her.

"And if you want my honest opinion kid, I don't think anyone ever would be."

"So... she didn't like the way she was being treated? That's it?"

"She felt like a mental patient, is what she told me. So they were both just hurtin' each other," Dally said, taking a drag from his cigarette and flicking ashes on the floor. "Alice was gettin' around, and I'm pretty sure Soda was once or twice too, and they were just makin' each other miserable."

"When you say 'gettin' around'..."

"She wasn't sleepin' with anyone else, if that's what you're worried about."

"Oh... well, good," Jennifer said lamely. She looked out the window for awhile, and Dally was quiet, blowing smoke rings up toward the ceiling. "My mom...er, Alice, she wanted to say thank you. Said you'd helped her more than you'd ever know."

Dallas remained quiet and walked to the window. He opened it and popped the screen out, so he could flick his cigarette away.

"I knew... I knew a long time ago. I should probably find her and tell her that she helped me too. Your mother was a good person, Jen, don't let anyone tell you different."

xxxx

"I can't believe it... so, she was tellin' the truth?"

"You're mom wasn't really one for tellin' tales. If she says somethin' she means it."

"Ugh, I'm gonna kick Keith's ass when I see him again," Jennifer muttered, picking at her sandwich. "So, I'm really sitting here talking to an angel?"

"One of 'em," Dally said, stretching out on the bed. "She knew other ones. Leann, Julie and Johnny... and I think the Fink."

"The fink?"

"I don't remember his actual name, but he pisses me off all the time. I wanna beat his head in... but I can't, he'll just get better."

"...So, what's so special about this ring?" Jennifer asked, holding it up.

Dally smirked. "Well, I rolled it offa senior, would be the most important thing."

"...Well, what grade were you in?"

"I wasn't a senior when I got it, that's for sure. I didn't finish school."

"Huh... hated it that much huh? I wish I could drop out, but... I'd be living on a park bench if I did. But seriously, Dal."

"I gave it to your mom when she was younger. Sixteen, I think. It was a Christmas present."

"Aw," Jennifer said with a smile. "That's sweet."

"Hey, I had to give her somethin'. She gave me her necklace, I gave her my ring. She didn't want me to forget about her... kinda made a promise or somethin' when we did that. Don't remember what it was exactly, but we made it."

"That's lovely," Jennifer said, rolling her eyes.

"She used to keep it on a chain or somethin'... wonder where it went."

"I'll find some string... or something, when I get home. I have a necklace kit at home... from when I was like, ten. There might be some string left in it. Maybe. Hey, Dallas, do you know what my mom might have been talking about when she said 'Christine's eyes'?"

"What'd she say after that?"

"Nothin', she just got all sad and rolled over..." Jennifer said with a shrug, turning the ring in her fingers.

"We could go find good ol' Chrissy."

"I thought she was dead."

"Well, so am I," Dally said, sitting up. "I don't see the problem."

"...How am I supposed to find her?"

Dally was quiet for a minute and he looked around the room. He shrugged and, rather suddenly, hit Jennifer near the base of her neck. Poor Jennifer fell to the floor, out cold.