Anyway, I realized last night at two in the morning that since Winston, from Artemis's story "The Unfound" would have been 20-ish around this time it was also, according to her, the time that a certain someone found out about him. So, the end to this chapter might not make sense unless you've read "The Unfound" and her journal entry concerning it.

Blindfolded

Twelve

'It's like I wasn't even in school. I mean, it's practically over... all of my senior friends are going to be leaving and, while they're all excited, I can tell they really don't want to leave. It's like... school is the only guaranteed thing we have in our lives, and unless they all get into college, they're going to have that taken away from them.

'Ah, I don't want to be a senior next year! I'll be the youngest one! I won't be eighteen like everyone else will... what if I can't get a job right away or something?

'... What the hell am I saying? That's a stupid thing to worry about. Anyway, I haven't written in my journal for a while... it's been sitting on my desk, gathering dust... like all of my other things. It's weird and it kind of gives me a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach. Like, Jennifer just sort of left for awhile, though, I know for a fact I've been here... I mean, sure school's been keeping me busy but, not that much.

'I think it means that... I've changed. Kind of drastically. I've been shoved into this world with a father that barely knows me, a family that isn't really mine... and a strange connection to dead people. I think that's what's really been setting me apart. These... abilities that I have. They're alienating me even more than I had been before.

'Not only do I see those that have passed away, but I see things that have already happened and sometimes, what will happen, if it's strong enough. I suppose anyone else would go run out and try to help all of those people that are wandering around, find some way to warn people of the disasters coming their way; that's for the books and Hollywood. Not for real life. I just want them to leave me alone.

'I helped David... turns out, Natalie was in the Forest Preserve... in the pond. Something that definitely scarred me for life, thanks. I mean, I felt better after I had helped the two of them (Dallas helped too. I'm starting to think he's following me around for a reason now. Someone, shoot me now) but, all of these other people are following me around now, wailing about how they're lost or looking for someone.

'Dallas is doing his part and warding them off with his generally bad attitude and threats, but some of them just won't go away and once he disappears to who knows where, it's like I'm a freakin' movie star abandoned on the red carpet with her fans. I wish I could punch them in the face, but they're dead. It'll go right through them. Damn it.

'"Ay, me" to quote freakin' Juliette (who I also wish I could punch in the face, the stupid thirteen year old. Her and all of her fellow cast members... and throw Shakespeare in general in there too... and my English teacher). Turns out, Matt isn't interested in dating, so, behind this moody Jennifer that wishes she could punch dead people and fictional characters... and people that should be dead (that's a hint to you Mr. Kohn), is a sullen little girl slouched over with her head down, groaning and moaning and cursing romance and happy couples. One of the reasons I'm wishing death once again to "Juliette and her Romeo".

'Death to you, you... mushy love birds walking down the street! Making me close my blinds. How dare you. That's what my gym teacher says a lot. 'And how dare you-' blah blah blah.

'No visits from dear Mom. Kind of glad. I don't think seeing her everyday is going to help. It'd drive me insane. 'Oh, Mom isn't back yet?'

'"Dear, what are you talking about?"'

'"Oh, you know, I just figured she'd be here by now."'

"'... Right. Honey, how about we go visit this cool new place, huh? I hear they have this cool new shirt there, with sleeves long enough to tie behind your back!'"

'And I'd be stuck in a padded cell for a bit... talking to Dallas and Mom and... dead people in general. Augh, I'm a fuckin' mess. I'm gonna go get some Portillos and drown my sorrow and insanity in fatty foods and Coke-A-Cola.'

xxxx

'Lilly stopped by. With her boyfriend. Damn it! And her finished video project. I loved it. She didn't interview all the typical people you'd think she would. She interviewed me (the adopted girl who lost her mother and is now living with a father she barely knows), Dawn (whose living with her sister, after her parents died), a few people I didn't know, simply because they were 'outcasts' in everyone elses eyes, Grandpa, for some odd reason... Hell, she even managed to drag Sodapop and Ponyboy into the picture (Apparently, Paul agreed to drive her down there). She even got a few people in the streets of Chicago to talk to her.

'It was very... Bohemian? Yeah, I guess so, because a lot of it was scenery too, and she managed to get the help of some of the smarter kids and put music over it. But damn it, it was hard to focus with Lillian and her boyfriend being all... kissy kissy and generally too corny for my liking.

'I'm worried. Junior year is the year you're supposed to be deciding on what colleges you want to apply to and build your application through out the school year... but I don't know what I want to do when I get out of high school. Damn it, I'm gonna be one of those people that sits on the subway and tries to entertain people to earn money, but everyone hates them, because they really don't like the performance and wish you would just curl up and die. Or at least get off the subway and stand on the sidewalk instead, so they could walk away.

'And now the phone doth ring.'

xxxx

"Oh, so you're finally home."

"...Uh... what?"

"It's Tommy."

"Oh hell... you're actually calling me?"

"You're cousin dropped by here about a week ago and let it slip that you were... seeing things."

"...Keep your comments to yourself Tommy."

"No, it ain't that. Soda actually believed her and I started wonderin'... about the night before you left... I forgot about it I guess, 'cause it's been so long, but... that's how you knew, right?"

"Ehh... no?"

"...So now your cousin's a liar too?"

"Well, no."

"Than you're a liar."

"Kind of."

"Man... you're definitely weirder than I thought..." Tommy muttered. Jennifer could almost see him rubbing the back of his neck and shaking his head.

"I'll hang up on you right now if you-"

"Nah, you remember that box of stuff?"

"Yeah?"

"Darry wanted to know if you wanted it, since you kinda left it here."

"...Yeah, sure, unless he really wants it."

"Hold on. Hey, Dar?... Do you really want that box?... He said 'No, you smart ass'."

"Yeah, I'll take it."

"You can drive now, right?"

"...Uh, yeah?"

"Oh, good, then you can come get it yourself. I'll talk to ya later or somethin'."

Before Jennifer could say anything, Tommy hung up. "Lil' bastard..."

xxxx

'I went back to Good Ol' Tulsa this weekend... by myself... in a car. Augh, and it sucked! I can't enjoy driving with all of these dead people on the road.

'What was worse, was when I was driving through... somewhere down there, I saw a train hit a car. I mean, I knew it had already happened, 'cause the car was suddenly there, then it was gone. But it scared the crap out of me either way. I never want to be by a railroad again. Of course, I had to drive back over it to get home... and there are plenty of railroad crossings around here too... okay, new topic.

'Ponyboy wasn't there when I stopped in and neither was Soda, but Darry was pretty nice when I showed up. I think he still feels bad for making me too nervous to call his house. Yeaaah, he better feel guilty...

'He asked what I was going to do with the things in the box and I told him I wasn't sure... I know I'll keep the pictures and the drawings... but the letters... I think I'll keep those somewhere... I guess. I doubt the people that wrote them would want them back. They probably have the letters she sent them anyway.

'...I think I know what I'll do with the stuffed animals though. Hey, gotta go.'

xxxx

"Oh, you really-"

"No, trust me. My mom would be thrilled. And she needs it more than I do."

"There should be more kids like you around."

"Ah, but then I wouldn't be as special," Jennifer said with a smile, her hands in the pockets of her jeans as she watched the small five year old talk to the bear she had given her.

"How'd you know she wanted a bear?" the little girl's mother asked with a smile.

"Well, I was sort of walking around asking if anyone wanted a stuffed bear and someone pointed me down here."

"Such a sweet heart. Dear, come here and thank Jennifer, would you?"

The small girl looked up at Jennifer, staring, probably, at her hair, before she smiled and hugged Jennifer's waist. She walked up the stairs to her apartment building a moment later.

"Ah, well, I gotta go," Jennifer said, shifting her almost empty backpack on her shoulder.

"Thanks again."

"Sure thing," Jennifer said with a grin, before turning and walking down the sidewalk to Matt's car. Even if he wasn't looking for a girlfriend, he was still a good friend to have around.

Jennifer sighed as she got into the car, dropping the backpack on the floor as she pulled the door closed.

"One more stop," Matt said, offering a reassuring smile.

"I know... i'm just not excited about this one at all," Jennifer muttered, pushing her blonde hair behind her ears as she dug in the backpack.

"Hey, I didn't expect you to be," he said easily, pulling out onto the street as Jennifer pulled a stuffed rabbit out of her back pack. "Ya know, I can still take you home."

"Don't you even tempt me with that option," Jennifer said flatly, fingering the rabbit's slightly tattered ear. "It took me two hours just to call you to get a ride."

"Which I don't get. You can drive can't you?"

"Yeah, I can drive... doesn't mean I want to."

"Damn, you're a strange girl... what kind of teenager doesn't want to drive?"

"Uhm... one that doesn't want to die in a hunk of metal?"

"...Point taken."

xxxx

"...You gonna let it go?"

"...I'm trying."

Matt sighed and carefully pried Jennifer's fingers from the rabbit. It dropped the inch onto the ground, surrounded by the dying flowers and other little things that were surrounding the rock that blatantly shouted that someone was dead under neath it. And that her name was Alice Lilian Tate.

"You okay?"

Jennifer sighed and looked down at the rabbit. She knew there were others watching, Dallas included, she was just glad that the dead people wandering around were keeping their distance for once.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"I should wait in the car, shouldn't I?"

"That'd be great."

Jennifer bit her lip and crossed her arms. She was debating on whether or not she should just... take the rabbit back. Leaving it out here just didn't seem right.

"I'll take it for you," Dallas said suddenly. Surprised, she looked over at the usually mean boy, but he was simply staring at the rabbit. "I'll take it up to her... so it won't get ruined out here."

"...How're you gonna do that?"

"Oh, I dunno. I'll bend over, pick it up and bring it up there," Dallas said as he rolled his eyes, bending down and carefully picking the rabbit up. "Kind of simple, right? Just hurry up and get home, huh? You don't need to be moping around a cemetery."

xxxx

"I'm not sad. I'm glad that she's moving on... Heh, do you remember the time when I threw this at you?"

"It was more than once."

"...Heh, you remember all those times I threw this at you?"

"Yeah, an' I don't wanna see that thing flying at me again anytime- Alice!"

"I'm sorry! It's a bad habit!"

"You're a bitch, you an' your daughter... an' Julie too."

"What? Why am I a bitch?"

"You're laughin' with her ain't you? Take your stupid rabbit-"

"Ow!"

"I have a job I'm s'posed to be doing."

The two girls stared at the place that Dallas had once been standing, before looking at each other and raising an eyebrow. "Since when does Dallas actually wanna do his job?" Alice asked.

Julie snorted. "Since when does he stoop that low to avoid a rabbit?"

"...Good point. What a lame-o," Alice muttered, tossing the rabbit in the air and catching it as it came back down.

"He's been acting weird lately, did you notice that?"

"...Yeah, I have... he's more pissed off than usual."

"Wonder why..." Julie muttered.

"Oh Johnny!" Alice called with a smile. If anyone would tell them, Johnny would be it.

"Uh... should I leave now or wait?" Johnny asked, eyeing the two girls nervously as he appeared before them.

"Oh, we just have a question," Julie said with a wave of her hand. "What's up with Dally?"

If it were possible, Johnny seemed to be even more nervous. "He found something out. That's all. It's no big deal."

"What'd he find out?"

"Look, he just... found something out. Leave it alone..." Johnny said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Johnny... tell us. We deserve to know."

"I can't. He made me promise not to. Look, he'll tell ya if he wants," Johnny said, shaking his head and disappearing, leaving two very confused girls behind.