Chapter 11 - To Hold On
I hold on
I hold on to him, for that is all I can do. I have a feeling that he doesn't want me like I want him but I won't give up till I know for sure. He is still my saviour and will remain forever as my saviour.
Saviour
Saviour to this world and to me. I heard the prophecy no one knows I finally know it. I just walked up into Dumbledore's office today under Harry's cloak and found it. I hated what I heard but I knew it was true. I think Dumbledore knows I know too. So I assume I wont get in trouble anyways. But I had to know what would come of him. I needed to know:
'The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches...born to those who have thrice defied, born as the seventh month dies...and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he have power the Dark Lord knows not...and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other one survives...the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies...'
He may die for sure now. I may never see him after he turns seventeen. I may never see him grow, and become an Auror or maybe a Seeker for England. I may never see him graduate or grow old. I just may never see him smile again.
Things are changing now. I know they are. Draco as turned back into an ass and hurt Hermione horribly. I think she will end it soon. I don't know Clara, but I don't like her; she reminds me of some one.
VOLDEMORT
Blaise and Pansy are pretty nice and talk a lot. Although they are hiding something. Maybe they are already death eaters and are just spying on us.
I think I'm becoming a seer of some sort. I've been having strange dreams that I can't explain. My Phoenix Mark that Harry gave me is changing into some sort of star. It still has the Phoenix but the star is becoming brighter and more visible. Hermione's is changing as well. Her's is going more into a fire heart. It looks really pretty but still scary. Luna's has changed into some odd form; I think it means hope or faith. Although both are basically the same. Ron's hasn't changed yet I think it will, Draco's has, to some snake of a kind. Harry's I saw it. It has changed the most out of all of ours. He has all of our symbols in a circle around a Phoenix with a sword.
Everything is changing. By the end of this year we will all be on our own ways. Ron and Luna will be way into each other. Harry, I think he will do something none of us thought he ever would. He will do it with Draco. I really think Clara is going to die. I think that actually is what my dreams are about. Hermione will be Hermione and go into her studies.
Studies
I should really be getting on the ball but I don't feel like it. I don't want to be anything special. I just actually want to be a mom that sits at home and looks over the kids and the house. Or maybe a curse breaker, and go to Egypt. Study to due well on my Exams and all, but I don't want to.
Today I also found something new. I heard about some graveyard in Hogwarts somewhere. It is said to have the four founders and Harry's parents as well. I have to find it. I wonder why it's not on the map. Maybe the Marauders never found it. I believe it's under the school, down in the dark soil.
If I ever find it. I'll take Harry down there and maybe I'll show the others, even though I won't want to.
I've changed as well. I'm not as open to them as I should. I'm starting to get opinions of people that I really don't want. I'm becoming a bitch. Snot or whatever you want to call it. Luna actually pointed it out.
UGHHH...
Who do I hate? Dumbledore for sure. He keeps to many things way from people, like Harry. Snape, he's an asshole who couldn't do anything if his life depended on it. Draco, for what he did to Hermione today.
Friends
I don't actually have any. There's Luna, Hermione, Harry, and well that's it. Ron's my brother not friend. Maybe I need to find different people to hang out with. Get more talkative or something. I mean what good is being alive, if you don't have friends to share your life with.
I mean they wont be around for my last year, well Luna will but still, I need other people to hang out with.
But I guess this isn't about me is it. No it's all about Harry. To hold on to him and keep what's left of him alive.
To keep him going and to be they're for him. And when the end of the school year comes to be there for him no matter what the cause. And to still be there for him in the next year and the years after that till the end of time. There is still darkness in him that will soon be released. It's scary to think of what may happen and what may no not happen. But it's better to not think of it at all and to let things happen as they happen.
Darkness
Its coming closer. They final battle for Harry will be here soon. When he turns seventeen that will be the year he takes charge of his life and does things for himself for sure. Unless he goes tot he dark himself and takes all that is good and turns it into fire and ash.