A/N

Here is the continuation of the previous chapter which I explained that I had to split into two parts. In some ways this has been the hardest one to write so far. Just this part grew into 3,000 words itself.

Realization, Part 2

Saturday Evening

Brennan curled up on her couch, feet tucked under, feeling fresh from the much-needed shower after her long overdue workout at her dojo, which was of the Uehi-Ryu school of karate. Her kata, her forms, had been sloppy at first, distracted as she was by the events of the last twenty four hours, but after forcibly regaining focus she then finally managed to settle down and start to lose herself in the flow of the precise movements, her body almost on automatic pilot in the familiar rhythms of the exercises. Some people claimed to do their best thinking in the shower, others while pacing, but for her some of her best results in wrestling with particularly thorny problems sometimes came in the context of karate.

Others might see it as a kinesthetic form of meditation, freeing her intuitive capacity, but that was not a concept she bought into, at least not in those terms. Rather she saw it as engaging the motor parts of her brain in such a way as to lower the static, the noise level, such that her subconscious mind might process more efficiently, or perhaps temporarily modifying the right-brain, left-brain balance. Regardless, she never accepted whatever insight which might arise at face value, and she always backed up a few steps and tried to determine if deliberate, explicit reasoning verified the proposed solution or conclusion. That was what she was determined to wade through now.

At first she wasn't aware of any problem to be solved when she went to work out, but was simply enjoying the warm glow of her day with Booth in spite of it being cut short. However, when her thoughts inevitably returned to the way it ended she suddenly realized she did have one…

Her conundrum could be summarized as such: she had had an absolutely fantastic time with Booth since Friday night, Rebecca's early arrival excepted, yet at the same time she was troubled afterward by certain events. She kept reviewing all that had happened…

Upon reflection her eagerness to see him, and even nervousness while waiting for him Friday evening were somewhat over the top, even for a close friend whom she had not seen for a while. And the same thing went for the ease with which Hodgins' crap had upset her.

At dinner and the range Friday evening, then at the range again on Saturday, as well as back at his place, she had felt an uncharacteristic freedom. She was so attuned to him that several times she had responded without thinking, sometimes even surprising herself. Grabbing his belt buckle like that? Although she was hesitant around men after having been burned in so many ways, she did not really consider herself shy. Once she was in a relationship she thought she was actually fairly straightforward although probably never quite as bold as Angela. But she wasn't in a relationship with Booth, and some of the things she'd said and done confused her. They were simply partners, colleagues who had become very close friends. But some of the things he'd said and done confused her as well.

He'd been delightful the entire time, and for once she had not minded his attentiveness in the slightest. First he'd surprised and moved her by saying they were equals at dinner, and then later in sharing his family history with her at the range in the context of the heirloom guns. When it came to the shooting he had only showed off a little, and she had to admit he was rightfully proud of his prowess. Most importantly, he did not engage in any effort to "win" or to rub her nose in the fact of his superiority, something which she would have expected from him for sure, at least back when she had first come to know him. How wrong she had been about him. Neither was he patronizing about her shooting skills which were meager by comparison. Rather he had totally surprised her with his interest in teaching her and his ability to explain and to simplify without talking down, a skill with which she knew she still often had difficulty.

As to attitude in general, well he wouldn't be Booth without some displays of cockiness, but this time they always seemed to be ironic, even self-deprecatingly humorous at times. She wasn't sure if the change was in him or in her, or somehow in both of them.

With him, away from work and everyone else, she had felt more at ease, at ease with herself even, than she had in a long time. She simply was, without thinking everything through at every instant. Perhaps it was what Angela called 'living in the moment'. It was liberating, even exhilarating, but it just wasn't her so in hindsight it was disturbing too.

Other things both excited and troubled her the most. Twice she was certain he had nearly kissed her, and she had to confront the fact that Booth must have developed feelings for her. Apparently Zach was right about the 'non-platonic' part, damn him. And two specific datapoints supported her new certainty that he truly cared for her and that it was much more than a sexual attraction. First, she realized that he must have held back for her sake, that he wanted to follow her lead and not simply give into his urges which implied a great respect for both her and their working partnership.

Second, the look in his eyes when he said she was 'beautiful' had nearly floored her. It had taken her a long time since she was an overlooked and awkward teenager to realize, believe, and accept that many men in fact found her attractive. However, whenever she had been complimented in that fashion it had always been in one of two contexts: either some guy hitting on her, or a date who was more or less expected to say something flattering because she was dressed up and made up for an occasion. But this was different. She knew that after the hot and dusty shooting range Saturday morning her hair was a mess, and she had only put on the barest of makeup that morning anyway. So his sincerity, the unabashed admiration in his eyes had truly taken her off guard. He was utterly without guile or design, and he seemed surprised himself that he'd said it, perhaps correctly thinking he had revealed too much. She knew she was often clueless about other people's feelings or intentions, but this was truly staring her in the face.

Plus his having feelings for her was also the only reasonable explanation for why he was so clearly torn by Rebecca's demand that she leave before letting Parker come in. It was obvious it was much more than just an affront to his sense of hospitality.

Finally, if there was any doubt that their relationship was entering uncharted territory, the original impetus for her intently reexamining their time together was the fact that when Rebecca had referred to her as his 'girlfriend' he had made no effort whatsoever, zero, to deny it. She had become somewhat inured to people occasionally misinterpreting their relationship in the last few months, but his lack of a denial had hit her squarely between the eyes. For some reason it only sank in well after she had left him, and was in fact what had sparked her thoughts while working out.

His side of their partnership apparently leaving the safe and well defined status quo to which she'd become accustomed, and upon which she'd grown to depend, was troubling enough, but she realized she needed to examine her own feelings too, to open her eyes to whatever role she might have played in encouraging him. Although other people could be complete ciphers to her at times, she was sometimes capable of great introspection when she turned her analytical skills on herself.

So did she feel anything toward him beyond a deep friendship? Beyond a simple physical attraction?

It had most definitely become harder to tune out his attractiveness at a visceral level. Back when they had first met she'd noted his good looks, although they were perhaps more roughly All-American than what she normally preferred. Not that she had ever acted on physical appearances alone, or even placed that high a priority on them in and of themselves, but she had come to admit they certainly didn't hurt. But in the beginning they were off to such a rocky start, often striking sparks of the wrong sort, that she no longer really noticed how handsome he was except in a clinical fashion, or when reminded by some other woman's appreciation. Later on, as they had grown to respect, like, and depend on each other more, her attraction to him started to rear it's head again, but it was something which at that point she knew was inappropriate for their professional relationship. So she had deliberately tuned it out, and had done so long enough that it had become automatic.

But it clearly wasn't working any more. She wanted him on multiple levels.

Angela had been correct in her observations that she had not been on a date in a long time, and had given up on online dating as well. Lately she had found all of the men she had met either in person or via the Internet wanting in one quality or another -- qualities which she now realized were all possessed by Booth, and which she deeply admired in him. She had to face it, why look for a man more like Booth when she had the real man right in front of her, whom she now understood to be waiting for her?

She did want him for herself. Why else would his answer that he wasn't seeing anyone have suddenly been so important to her? Why else her comment about him needing someone smart enough to wait for him? How could she have seen that truth while being so unaware of the whole truth in that she herself felt that way? Had he seen it?

Why else the need to have her arms around him, and the need to be wrapped in his? Which need had been frustrated by the manner in which she'd been forced to leave his apartment. And which need she now knew he shared.

As to the near-miss on the kisses, she now knew it wasn't just him. She had been perilously close to starting something herself in the heat of the moment, well beyond merely being receptive. In spite of being nervous each time, she now realized she had also experienced pangs of disappointment which she he had repressed almost before she was aware of them, such were her defenses. Again she appreciated his restraint in not taking their relationship unequivocally in a new direction. He was correct to be concerned that she might be responsive at first then push him away – she didn't fully trust her emotions herself.

Not only did she want him, she needed him. Once she had come into her own after college she had always enjoyed men, at least the right sort, who unfortunately were few and far between. Still, over the years she had dated quite a few that she had liked, and had even thought she might be in love with one or two, but none of them had created in her this powerful sense of need. A need which might, just might not represent the weakness she had always assumed it would be. She needed someone who knew all of her secrets and would trust her with his. She needed someone who understood her even when she didn't fully understand herself, who would meet her more than half way when she fumbled. She needed someone who cared for her and who would also take care of her in spite of the barriers she so often put up. She needed someone who had never let her down and never would. She even needed someone with whom it could be safe to live in the moment and not have to analyze everything every instant.

Booth had turned into all of those things to her and more.

In spite of all the obvious complications and risks she wanted to try this, this new thing with him. She deserved it, didn't she? Even if it had come from a totally unexpected quarter. Why couldn't she be truly happy instead of merely content? There were plenty of obvious perils in embarking on a relationship with him, a sort of co-worker even if they didn't have the same employer, but since he was willing to move so slowly perhaps she could risk it. She would inch her way forward as well – they had not yet reached the point of no return, doing anything that would result in a loss of face for him if she had to cool it after all. Perhaps she was deluding herself, but she still thought she had some maneuvering room in which she could explore a bit further without endangering their partnership. Somehow she knew the stakes were higher than ever, that even if she was seriously willing to consider Angela's 'friends with benefits' concept – which was perhaps not unthinkable if they had not worked together -- that ultimately he was not willing to settle for that.

It was clear that if she were to move forward she could not simply be at the mercy of unexamined emotions in the mean time, but that she would have to accept them so she could channel them rather than being ruled by them and so navigate her way safely.

She had hoped he would accept her offer to call her later in spite of his demurral, but waiting by the phone had never been her style anyway. The rules of the conventional games in relationships confused and annoyed her anyway. She would take the first step, the first small test, now. She put her feet on the floor, picked up her phone, and dialed Booth's number…

It rang until his answering machine was surely about to pick up, and she breathed a sigh of disappointment. She would not leave a message -- for some reason she was suddenly stymied by the thought of having to figure out what to say to the stupid machine when she was so looking forward to talking to him. Sadly she hung up her phone, frustrated.

But he came through for her once again – not two seconds later her phone rang and it was Booth according to the caller ID. Just a tiny step, she reminded herself…

- - -

Booth felt a thrill when she quickly picked up even as he rubbed at his sore foot.

"Hey," she greeted him softly.

"Hey, yourself." He felt himself grinning to the room foolishly. Simply hearing her voice felt every bit as good as he'd thought it would…

The line was silent for a couple of moments, and he chuckled, "Remember you called me."

He laughed again, this time with her as she realized her goof. He explained why he didn't answer originally, "I left the phone in the other room and stubbed my damn toe as I ran to get it."

"I'm sorry," she said still laughing.

"Well that's what I get for not picking up all of the toys yet."

"I hope you're having fun with Parker. You deserve it."

It was nice that her first words were about him and Parker, and not about Rebecca being a bitch. He found he could laugh a little at his earlier screwup with Parker and the ice cream after all.

"I do don't I? Thanks." He could imagine her smile at the other end of the line. "We've had a great time, but you can tear up that 'Father of the Year' nomination," he joked.

"Oh… want to tell me about it?"

"Nah, some other time. It's ok now." Time for something more serious... "I'm really sorry you had to leave in a hurry the way you did." He took a breath and licked his lips, "I wasn't ready for you to go yet."

She replied softly, "Me neither."

He grinned hugely -- just like that, her admission made him feel better about everything that had happened. "I'm glad. It's just she…"

She interrupted him gently, "It's ok, you don't have to apologize for her." Then she continued more brightly, "Anyway, that's not why I called."

God, he loved her. "Well?" he prompted.

"I just wanted to remind you I'm holding you to your promise to come see me Monday."

Actually he'd only promised to talk to her on Monday, but he didn't care – he was too thrilled that she was eager to see him also.

"I'll be there. I expect it will be after lunch." There was no way in hell he'd disappoint her. He'd make up some bullshit excuse to get out of the Hoover Building and go over to the Jeffersonian if he had to.

"Great! I'll see you then," she replied. She continued archly, "And just so you know… tomorrow I will be working on my book." She chuckled. "Good night, Seeley."

"Ok," he laughed, she could be so delightful at times. He returned the unexpected familiarity, "Good night, Temperance."

She broke the connection. After hanging up his phone Booth tried it again, out loud with a silly grin.

"I love Temperance Brennan!"

He laughed at the wonder of it. Much better.

A/N

I cheated a little in taking and running with some of the character bits we learned in The Woman in Limbo although in this story her mother has not been identified. I suppose I could go back and tweak the story to make it dovetail with the finale ep, but I didn't want to be distracted by the need to make up some way to deal with her father's call at the end of the ep.

I'm not sure if this ended up a little too sappy or silly, but that's where it took me.

And just for the record… we're not quite totally home free yet :)

As always, please review and tell me what hopefully worked for you. And if something didn't, well perhaps I might play George Lucas and tweak it retroactively :)