And Then Suddenly; 'Once Upon A Time', Didn't Matter Anymore.
Nobody was surprised when Harry Potter didn't come down for dinner, he rarely did, but when Hermione entered the Gryffindor tower and couldn't see him, not even in the chair he always sat in at this time of night, she couldn't help feel concerned.
The black haired boy in question was was actually sitting a fair distance below the high tower, down in the dark, dismal dungeons as a matter of fact. He was happily helping himself to some ingredients from the potions storeroom. He might have been forbidden to take Potion's in his later years but that still hadn't stopped him learning how to make a very effective sleeping draught.
He didn't even really worry about getting caught anymore, it's not like any teachers gave him a hard time, over anything really. They let him get away with murder, it both relieved him and annoyed him at the same time. Sometimes he found himself wishing that somebody would yell at him, punish him, anything other than the pitying aloofness they threw at him in buckets.
Even Professor Snape, the one teacher who had never cared about who he was, what he had done or who had fought, or more realistically, had cared so much about it had decided to single-handedly strip him of any ego he might have acquired, had started turned a blind eye.
Harry wondered what would have happened to another student who was caught stealing from Severus Snape's classroom cupboard. An apprehensive shiver passed through his spine. They would probably be yelled at for a week and be stuck with a lifetime's worth of detentions.
Not Harry though, no, because Harry didn't have a lifetime's worth of detentions left to give. And everybody made damn sure that he knew that they knew.
He was stuck fast in an endless cycle of pity and he often wished he could just get it over with entirely so he didn't have to look at those shadowed glances, wherever he was, and the whispers, God how he hated the whispers.
"Mr Potter" came an expectant hiss, "surely you cannot have run out already, you took a months worth of ingredients just last week."
"M'sorry" Harry mumbled, eyes falling to the floor, he missed Snape's curt nod but just looked up in time to catch the swirl of robes at the potions master walked away. A disappointed Harry collected the rest of the ingredients he needed, which was easy, he could find them all blindfolded he came here that much.
Leaving the storeroom he was surprised to see Snape sitting at his desk, watching him. His eyes were dark and penetrating, his hooked nose cast most of the left side of his face and Harry noted that the older man looked quite foreboding.
"I have a potion that might work better for you," Snape indicated to the bottle on the table, inches from Harry's fingertips, he grasped it,
"Thanks" he mumbled once more, Harry's social skills had become somewhat depleted, the only person who actually engaged him in conversation anymore was Hermione, and even she appeared to be giving up hope. This time he caught the subtle inclination of a thin head and returned it.
Back at the tower he was looking at the bottle Snape had given him, the liquid was clear. It was so out of character for Snape to be nice to him he didn't know how to take the gesture. Since he had come back to school Snape hadn't said a single word to him, and since the hype died down and Harry made it more than clear to the other teachers that he didn't want codling, the other teachers had taken a leaf out of the man's book.
He had been shocked at his friends reaction's to the final horcrux's resting place, Hermione had been horrified, even though she had suspected for a long while. She'd said something about it being quite poetic. And if it wasn't his life, Harry would have probably agreed.
Ginny had hugged him until her arms went numb, and then for a bit longer besides, she said nothing and Harry had appreciated it greatly. He had never felt as comfortable with anybody besides Ginny Weasley and he still marvelled at her ability to understand him completely. To this day he still considered their brief relationship to be the happiest time in his life. He had clung to the hope that one day, after the war that they could get married and do all those happy things that people do. Have kids, hell, even argue over wallpaper designs.
But it was obvious now that couldn't happen and he refused to even entertain the idea. He had told her blatantly that he wouldn't be with her if she was the last woman on earth and that although their relationship was nice, it wasn't something he'd ever consider involving himself in again.
The look in her eyes had told him that she knew exactly what he was doing, though she hadn't argued. She'd nodded and hugged him some more. He'd known then that he loved her, and that made his fate more unbearable than anything he could ever imagine.
After that he had barely seen Ginny, he thought he'd heard somewhere that she had another boyfriend now, but he had a feeling she was going out of her way to avoid rubbing his nose in it, he was thankful, and also glad that she had moved on.
Ron took the news the worst though, or more Harry's reaction to it. Ron had tried and tried all summer to try and find a loophole, something. Unfortunately Harry hadn't quite shared his enthusiasm and when Harry and Hermione had both told Ron to stop, for his own sanity, Ron had decided that if Harry had signed his own death warrant then obviously he didn't care as much for his friends as he'd promised.
He officially stopped trying a month after they got back to school, fed up of Harry not talking, not sharing, not joining him and Hermione for dinner, lots of little things. Hermione had sat down and told Harry that it was just Ron's way of trying to deal with the pain and that he'd come 'round. Harry had uttered a firm and spiteful "i don't care" and by the time he'd looked up to see Ron standing in the doorway it was far too late.
Pulling his attention back to the bottle, he looked out the window of his dorm room. He shared the room with three other boys, though they all had their curtains shut tight. None of them talked to him, he didn't even know their names. He had been kicked out of his old down unanimously, and had taken up residence in the only spare bed he could find.
He couldn't honestly fathom why Snape had given him this, though he deduced it had something to do with pity. He supposed Snape had his own weird looks often enough, ever since he'd killed Dumbledore.
Harry had heard he was innocent and never doubted it, well except for a brief period after he'd done it. After all it was Snape and Harry had never trusted him. But the proof had come out and Harry couldn't doubt that it was a plan only Dumbledore would have concocted.
Tears escaped his emerald eyes and he remember just how much he missed the old man. A few minutes later the tears had subsided, and Harry glared at the bottle.
He was never going to sleep tonight without some added help, so what could it hurt?
Unscrewing the lid he was about to gulp it down when he heard a tentative knock on the door. He waved his wand without really thinking about it and wasn't at all surprised when Hermione walked in. Every now and again Hermione would come up, usually red-eyed, and attempt to have a heart-to-heart talk with him. It had been three weeks since her last one and Harry had started to think maybe she'd abandoned hope.
"Harry" she smiled, sitting down on his bed beside him. "What's that?" she frowned looking at the bottle Harry was clutching,
"Sleeping potion" Harry whispered.
"Sleeping potions are green?" she questioned, worry furrowing her brow. It wasn't really a question, Hermione never questioned, Hermione knew.
"Not this one-" Harry was cut off by Hermione snatching it from his hand and sniffing it. "Oh Harry!" she yelped, shaking her head. "You stupid boy!" that was the last think she exclaimed before leaving the room and slamming the door behind her. Luckily, Harry cast a softening charm before it hit the frame.
Tentatively Harry brought the potion up to his nose and sniffed, then he pulled the bottle away from his nose sharply, disgusted. Standing, he threw the potion out of the window and watched it fall for a while. He didn't know when it hit the floor, it was too far away to hear. Then, closing the window, he turned and headed quickly for the dungeons.
"So you're trying to kill me now?" he growled at Snape, suddenly feeling more angry than he had in a long time. In fact Harry suddenly realised that he hadn't felt anything for months, he'd been numb, self-pity had been weighing heavily on him and now it was like liquid fire was racing through his body. He knew his voice had cracked when he spoke, but since he hadn't raised his voice above a whisper in months he assumed that was normal.
"Isn't that what you wanted," the statement was delivered calmly, Snape didn't even look up from marking papers. Harry noted that he looked much more content down here in the dungeons. He wondered why Snape had left the Dark-Art position that he had coveted for so long, but realised that realistically he had no way of fathoming the inner-workings of Severus Snape's brain so he was better focusing on the conversation at hand.
"No" Harry sputtered, "why would you think I would ever want to die" though the boys voice was coming across as more indignant than angry,
"Well I assumed that anybody downing that much Mothers Kiss a week, had a death wish" Harry focused on Snape's drawl and did a double take,
"Huh?" he sounded like a clueless fool all of a sudden and he knew it,
"Ah, I see. Mr Potter, I appear I was going to too much benefit of the doubt," a smile clawed at his lips, "I assumed even you" he paused and let his lips curl into a distasteful snarl "would conduct research before creating a potion and ingesting it", Harry blinked, his face blank.
"I didn't think you'd try and kill me" was the eventual reply, Harry was still in shock from learning that the potion he'd been relying on for so long was lethal, "and I didn't know I could die".
"Will die" Snape corrected,
"Yes, I know I'm going to die you don't have to rub it in" self-pity was back with a vengeance
"Foolish boy," Snape growled, "the potion, it will have already damaged you," Harry's eyes widened, "oh yes, now you may look scared."
"W-what?" the boy who lived stuttered,
"The potion has a degenerative affect upon the brain" Snape stood in a flurry of black fabric, "it shuts down parts of the brain, that's why it enables you to sleep. Free thought goes and without free thought sleep is easier because your mind isn't racing."
Harry nodded dimly, he'd read that in the book he'd been looking in and read no further, being so tired at that point he would have sacrificed anything for some shut-eye.
"However," the sharp hiss brought Harry out of reverie, "as you sleep it eats away at other parts of your brain, parts that enable you to function" he paused for effect, "and as you didn't seem to have a particularly large brain to begin with Mr Potter, I fear that it may already be to late"
"Get bent," Harry spoke before he thought and then realised instantly after the last syllable rolled of his tongue whom he had aimed it at, his eyes stared mortified into the cold, black, penetrating eyes of his teacher.
"There is a cure" this was spoken so low Harry barely caught it, Snape was annoyed.
"Is there?" Harry looked up, eyes glassy,
"If you can hold off your blubbering long enough to let me speak I may help you"
Harry fought back the tears, he really couldn't see any reason why he should want a cure, he was going to die anyway. He supposed that it was probably the human instinct for survival, he knew he was going to die soon, but still, just under a year away is better than in the next few days. Which was basically what Snape was implying. Harry nodded, anything else would probably reduce him to sobs.
There was an eye roll and then; "I can make a potion to reverse the effects. But it is a delicate process. Too much too soon could kill you instantly, you will need to take about a teaspoon a night for four nights, then an eggcup full for another two weeks."
That didn't sound to bad Harry mused.
"This will restore the parts of your brain that have been disintegrated."
"D-d-d" the boy couldn't speak,
"Yes Potter, disintegrated!" Snape himself was shocked at how easily he had snapped back into being the boys teacher, he looked into the emerald eyes and realised it was easier than he thought to forget the boy was a walking corpse. "Of course I would have to supervise your taking the potion, I will not have your death linked back to me because you failed to follow simple instructions"
"But sir-"
"Enough Potter, I will not, I repeat not brook any arguments upon this matter. I have one death on my hands I will not have another."
Harry was taken aback by the reference to Dumbledore, but he filed it away in his brain for future musings.
"I will have the potion ready by tomorrow night. Come down to the classroom at eleven sharp and knock once on my office door. Now you may go" at this abrupt order Harry turned to leave, "Oh and Potter,"
"Yes?"
"I'll need to access the damage first, stand still" Snape waved his wand and then looked carefully at Harry's head, now Harry was used to having people look at his head, but this was different, this felt like Snape was looking into his mind, seeing his thoughts. Harry wrote that off as impossible and guessed Snape was just doing a magical x-ray or something along those lines. "Very well Mr Potter you may go,"
"Is it bad?"
"I said go Mr Potter"
And Harry did.
Author's Note
Thank you for your kind reviews, they made me feel very positively about this story. I would like to emphasise that this is actually a beta version in itself and I was using FF dot net to see if some of you brilliant people could help me. So any spelling or gramatical errors you find, feel more than free to point them out and I shall correct them. I will then be sending this off for the challenge and reposting this as one giant story. So if the chapters seem short it's because I'm not writing them as chapters.
As for the comments, I am pleased to say that when I was planning this story in my head all my thoughts of a slashfiction disapeared, and because I read a lot that was difficult. I decided that above all else I would keep the characters in character, now of course that only works if you keep them in the same situations and because I didn't do that I had to best guess how the characters would react in certain situations.
Obviously, I couldn't have Snape evil and that's my guess on what JK will do in book seven, or things to that effect because I love Snape and in my mind he will not be evil, lol.
Ron, well I was stuck with this. But Ron seems quite hot-headed and well, sometimes Harry seems like a bit of a brat (sorry if that offends people but in my head that's how it works) and I didn't think Ron would deal very well with the thought of losing his best friend and that the pain would probably manifest in anger. Don't worry though, I know Ron loves his best friend.
But lets face it, in this story Harry is acting like a bit of a fool? Is he not?
As for Ginny, yes I agree, Harry and Ginny would make the perfect couple, their story is so sweet and if I'm going with het i'm a Harry/Ginny shipper all the way. But don't worry, all I can do is ask you to trust me and to see that I do indeed, have a plan.
I also intend to make you all cry a lot, mwhahaha!
So please enjoy, contructive cristism is always wanted and if you have a question that you'd like me to reply to please leave you email in a review and I shall as soon as I can. I don't know if FF dot net blocks emails, but I'm sure you can all find a way around it.
Much love,
Akasha x