Back from vay-cay. You'll have to excuse me. I'm completely mad.
Tony glanced around the parking lot as he got out of his car and noted that had beaten everyone, including Gibbs, to the office. He checked his watch, then held it up to his ear. As an especially strong gust of wind carried the sound of screeching tires across the lot, he grinned to himself, shoving his hands into his pockets and pressing his body tightly to his car.
On the corner, two sailors who had been about to cross the road leaped back to the curb. Seconds later, Tony leaned forward to tap on the passenger-side window of the red Mini that had squealed to a stop in the spot next to his. "You get points for soda cans and squirrels, not pedestrians."
Ziva placed two coffee cups on the roof of her car. "I think I saw a movie once where you did get points if you ran over people."
"Yeah, but only if you were actually in the race." He took the coffee she offered him and fell into step with her as she walked quickly toward the building. "I love that scene where the doctors are wheeling patients into the road outside the hospital for David Carradine to run down and he turns into the…" he stopped suddenly and grabbed her arm. "Hold on a second. Did you really just make an obscure movie reference?"
"What? I saw it on television one night when I couldn't sleep. Rambo was in it." She pulled her arm from his grasp and continued into the building.
He jogged to catch up and caught her at the door. "Two movies before you even walk through the door? Maybe my ultimate revenge will end up being a total conversion to the DiNozzo way of life."
"I doubt it," she sniffed, pressing the elevator call button. "I really don't understand your ridiculous obsession with revenge."
He contemplated her for a moment. Her hair was down and looked tousled, like she'd just gotten out of bed and run her hands through it. It struck him as a little odd; she usually wore her hair up with her long gray coat. He allowed his eyes to drift down her body, wishing he could see what she was wearing so he could start his daily ritual of imagining the various ways he could strip her.
"Did you skip breakfast?"
He blinked and realized that she was standing in the elevator, holding the door for him. "Uh…yeah. I had, uh, Frosted Flakes." He rapidly stepped in next to her and took a sip of his coffee. "Why?"
"No reason. You just look hungry."
"Oh." He stared forward. He'd been too blatant and now she was calling him on it. "I meant to grab a banana, too, but I guess I didn't have time."
"Do you want a muffin?" She pulled a lumpy, cellophane-wrapped object out of her purse and handed it to him. "It's chocolate chip."
He accepted the confection with a sigh of relief. "Homemade?"
"Yes."
"Bringing me coffee and making me muffins? Are you trying to start rumors, Zee-vah?"
"No. I am merely attempting to…Look, I overreacted about the whole branch thing and I just wanted to say…This is difficult for me because I don't normally do this…"
He tried not to laugh as he interrupted her, "Are you saying this is an apology muffin?"
"I don't have anything to apologize for. I am just trying to say that everything is normal and we shouldn't dwell on things that have happened." She glanced back at him as she exited the elevator.
He trailed her toward their desks. "So this is a bribe. You're getting nervous over what I might do. Well, it's gonna take a lot more than muffins to…" His attention was diverted by a woman sitting behind his desk. "Uh, can I help you?"
"Are you Agent DiNozzo?" She stood and walked purposefully toward him.
"Yes." He tried to remember her face, her legs, anything. She was the kind of woman he'd give a second glace but forget within seconds. He exchanged a glance with Ziva, who shrugged and stepped behind her own desk. He silently prayed this wasn't a woman he'd dated once and never called. "What can I do for you, ma'am?"
"You can tell me why you had my car towed from the hospital this morning."
He snapped his jaw shut to prevent it from dropping. "Are we talking about a red Ford Explorer, Virginia registration 073 LDG?"
"You're damn right! I get off work and find my car missing. Then security tells me that some federal agents showed up with a warrant and towed it off. You people have some nerve."
Ziva joined the conversation. "Are you the owner of the vehicle?"
"Yes…no…sort of. It's registered to my fiancée, but we bought it together and we both drive it." The woman glanced around the room, as if suddenly realizing that she had more to worry about than a missing car. "Oh my God, has something happened to Steven?" She grabbed Ziva's hand and looked pleadingly at her.
Tony took an exaggerated step toward the elevator. "Yeah, Officer David here can explain the situation while I go downstairs and check on your car." He didn't turn when Ziva called his name anxiously.
The garage was quiet when he entered it a few moments later. He walked toward the cars they'd collected the previous night. "Anybody here?"
A figure in a red jumpsuit and welder's mask suddenly jumped out from behind the rear of the Mercedes. "These aren't the droids you're looking for."
Tony recoiled involuntarily. "Jeez, Abs." He regained his composure before slowly turning to look behind him, convinced she had to be talking to someone else. Finding no one, he raised an eyebrow at her. "Did you get any sleep last night?"
She pushed her mask up on her forehead. "Nope. I was just testing a little theory."
"Well, if your hypothesis was 'Abby is nuts,' let me be the first to congratulate you on proving it."
"And let me congratulate you."
"For what?"
"I heard you and Ziva were in the squad room k-i-s-s-i-n-g," she sing-songed. "How'd that happen?"
He leaned against the side of the Mercedes and leered suggestively, plucking an imaginary piece of lint from the shoulder of his blue striped shirt. "I suppose it was just a matter of time before she gave in to her deepest desires and most primal urges and…"
"I ordered her to."
Tony inhaled sharply the familiar sting of a Gibbs slap. "Right, boss."
Abby shook her head, causing her ponytails to swing wildly. "So not fair. All I ever get ordered to do is run tests on clothes and guns and cars. Are you guys secretly filming some kind of reality show up there that I don't know about?" She looked expectantly at Gibbs, who grimaced slightly. "Yeah, who'd wanna watch us? Anyway, no blood in the Explorer, but there are a lot of fingerprints belonging to a single individual who is not Sgt. Neal."
"Yeah, I think she's upstairs."
Gibbs and Abby both turned to Tony. "Who?"
"Oh, Neal's fiancée. I figured you saw her in the squad room with Ziva, boss."
"I haven't been up to the squad room yet." He walked toward the elevator, beckoning Tony after him. "Why didn't anyone tell me he had a fiancée?"
"Well, we just found out when she came in demanded to know what we'd done with her car."
"Her car?"
"Apparently she was working at the hospital when we arrived and towed it." Tony barely squeezed into the elevator before the doors closed. "We didn't know about her because the car was register to Neal and the parking permit was the brother's."
Gibbs sighed. "Glad she thought to come down for questioning." He was prevented from giving Tony another slap as his phone rang. "Gibbs…yeah, we'll do that…okay." He snapped the phone shut. "Abby wants the fiancée's prints."
"She couldn't tell us that five seconds ago?" Tony didn't escape the slap this time.
"She also said to stop leaving without saying goodbye."