SUPERNATURAL

No Matter What

AN: Okay, you guys really know how to make my day. Thank you! And yes, I am so sorry it took me so long to update the last chapter but... I really can't help it. :( But I hope you like this chapter. And keep reviewing, okay? Please...

Warning: Self harm and language

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

"I think Dean's right, what's dead should stay dead."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. But if YOU die, I'm gonna do anything within my power to bring you back."

-My friend to me as we were watching Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things.-

Chapter five

"Hey, Sam's talking! So why the hell am I sleeping?" was Dean's first thought when he slowly woke up. "What was Sammy talking about, anyway? Something about leaving... Leaving?!" Dean opened his eyes and pushed himself up from the floor. He groaned as his back protested. "Sam?" he said, not getting anything in reply. "Sammy?" His voice was getting panicked. Sam hadn't left, he couldn't have... "Sammy?!" Now Dean was yelling. But the only thing he got as an answer was silence. "I swear to God, I'm gonna kill you!" Dean mumbled to himself as he picked up his phone. After pressing the green phone to call Sam he pressed the phone to his ear, lot harder than usually. "Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up..."

"This is Sam, I can't get to the..."

"Damn it!" Dean yelled in frustration. He waited 'til he heard the little peep that told him he could start yelling his brother and then let Sam hear exactly what he was thinking at the moment: "Sam! You better call me back and tell me where you are so I can come there to kick your ass! What the hell were you thinking, anyway? Huh? Gosh, Sammy..." Dean took in a deep breath and tried to calm himself down. "Seriously, Sam. You're not okay, we both know that. We can figure this out. Just... call me back okay?" Dean clicked the phone shut, knowing fully that Sam was not gonna call him. He glanced at the clock. 00.09. He had been out of it for at least four hours. "Sammy, you're such an idiot", Dean murmured as he got out of the room. He went to the reception and woke up the fat man who was sleeping in a arm chair.

"Wh...? If there's something wrong with the room, I can fix it in the morning", the man said and Dean could smell the alcohol in his breath from four feet away.

"I won't be here in the morning. I was just wondering did you see which way my brother went?" The man thought for a second.

"The one you came with? No. But if he's walking and smart he would go the bus station. Three miles to the south", he said.

"Three miles? Okay, thanks", Dean said and left. He cursed under his breath. Sam could be anywhere right now. And by anywhere, Dean meant anywhere. "Why does USA have to be so fucking BIG?" Dean thought as he went to the car. "And be grateful you didn't take my car. Then I really would have killed you!"

SNSN

Sam was sitting in the far corner of an old bus. There was only five others in the bus, including the bus driver. That actually worked for Sam, who really didn't want people to see him in the shape he was in. He was furiously fighting back tears that wanted to fall down. He had done what he had to, Dean was safe now, the was nothing to cry about that. But GOD he missed him already. He knew Dean would be SO angry at him for leaving like that.

Sam jumped as his phone rang. Without bothering to check who was calling (since he knew already) he let the phone ring. He received few very annoyed looks from the other passengers but no one asked his to shut the phone down. The phone rang for about a minute and then Sam heard the peep that told him he had got a voice message. With a deep breath, Sam pressed the phone to his ear and listened as his brother's angry voice told him that he was gonna kick his ass.

"...Seriously, Sam. You're not okay, we both know that. We can figure this out. Just... call me back okay?"

Sam sighed. He didn't know should he regret his decision to leave or not. Eventually he decided that, despite of everything, it was for the best. That thought made him feel little, just a little, better.

SNSN

"Officer Walker?" Dean's head snapped up at the mention of his fake name. A woman, maybe in her forties, was smiling at him. "The boy that matches you description took a bus from here to San Francisco..."

"Geez, Sam. Great use of imagination..."

"...and it left about two and a half hours ago. That means that it's almost there already", the woman continued.

"Okay, thank you", Dean said as he pretended to make notes. The woman smiled even wider. Dean had told her he was looking for a missing person (which was not completely a lie) and she looked like she thought she had solved the case. That or she was flirting. Poorly. "Well, I better get going. It's a big city, I don't want him to get lost any more than he is. You've been a great help, thank you", Dean said and left. He saw the woman waving to him from the corner of his eye as he drove the car to the road. The speed limits were the last thing is his mind when he pushed the pedal down.

"When I found you I'm gonna give you a serious lecture about leaving without an explanation. And then I'm gonna give you a lecture about leaving at all. You're so stupid..." Dean mumbled as he drove down the road. After few more minutes the worry for his brother took over the frustration and anger. He didn't like the idea that Sam was out there on his own even when he was okay, but now that he wasn't okay and out there on his own, now that was an idea that was killing him. Sam could collapse anywhere and anytime and Dean wasn't there to catch him... He wasn't there to wake Sam up and tell him everything was okay, he wasn't there to make Sam eat, he wasn't there to look after him.

The big brother in Dean was losing his mind. He needed to find Sam as fast as he could. He feared that if he didn't, Sam would do more harm to himself than just a bleeding hand. "Just let him be okay... I'll do anything, just please, let him be okay..."

SNSN

After arriving to San Francisco, Sam had found a little hotel and checked in. He was so tired he could barely stand but he managed to take a shower before falling onto bed. He closed his eyes and the silent humming of the room lulled him into sleep.

SNSN

As soon as Sam saw where he was, he wished he has stayed awake. He was sitting in the backseat of the Impala, watching Dean drive way faster than was allowed. "Damn it, Sammy, pick up!" Dean yelled. Sam winced at the mention of his name. The way Dean said it was so... desperate.

"He's looking for me!" Sam realized. No... No, why couldn't Dean realize that it was for the best! He had to left Sam be, he couldn't find him, he couldn't!

"Sam!" Dean yelled to the phone. "Pick up or call me back! I need to know where you a... Fuck!" The phone dropped from Dean's hand to the floor. As he was trying to pick it up he didn't notice the car that was driving on the wrong side of the road.

"DEAN!" Sam yelled, knowing fully that Dean wouldn't hear him. By the time that Dean looked back to the road, it was too late. Sam screamed and put his hands automatically around himself for protection. He heard the sound of glass braking and the muffled yelp from Dean as the cars collided. And after few seconds it was completely quiet. It took a while until Sam had gathered the courage to see the damage. He gulped as he turned his eyes to Dean. "No..."

Dean's head was bleeding from a big wound in his head. There was several little wounds, too. But the thing that scared Sam so much was the fact that Dean's eyes were wide open and he was not moving at all. "No, no, no... not again, please..." Sam begged silently. "You told me he was gonna be okay!" he yelled.

"Yes, yes I did. But you know what Sammy? I lied. He's gonna die whatever you do. Unless..."

"Unless what? I'll do anything!" Sam said.

"Unless he has nothing to look for. Unless he has nothing that can harm him. You need to take the reason for his fighting away. And you know what it is, don't ya, Sammy?"

"Yes... yes I do...

SNSN

Sam woke up, his mind made. He knew what the reason was. It was he himself. He knew now that the voice was right, he should not exist. He brought nothing but bad things in his brother's life, to the only one's life that mattered to him, to the only one's life who cared about him. Dean deserved better... So much better...

"Perfect..." Sam though as he found a bottle of painkillers from the one of his bags. He opened it and emptied it in his hand. He looked at pills for few seconds before swallowing them all. He washed them down with water and sat down on his bed.

"Good boy. I promise, Dean's gonna have a great life. You're doing a favor to him..."

Then, out of no where, Sam heard another voice. So much warmer, familiar and kind. "Just let him be okay... I'll do anything, just please, let him be okay..."

"Dean?" Sam whispered. No, it couldn't have been... right?

"Sammy... please don't do anything stupid... I can't lose you, too. Please, baby brother... Just be okay..."

Sam couldn't take it anymore. He reached for the phone that was on the bed next to him and dialed Dean's number.

"NO!" the voice yelled. "What're you doing, you're gonna ruin his life! Don't call him, you idiot, his life will be so much better..."

"YOU DON'T KNOW HIM!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!" Sam yelled as he pressed the phone on his ear. Dean picked on the second ring.

"Sammy? Oh thank God... Where are you, are you okay?" Dean asked. Sam looked at the empty bottle of painkillers on the floor and took a shaky breath. "Sam? Come on, talk to me! Where are you?"

"Dean... I... I think I did something stupid..."

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

AN: I kinda hate myself right now... And I don't blame you if you hate me, too... But let me know what you think! You all have been great so far, I'm so happy that you like and you have kept reading it! Until the next chapter!

Lots of Love

Devil of My Family