A/N: Disclaimer: Refer back to Chapter 1.
WARNING: SEMI-AU, OOC, WAFF, LANGAUGE, ANGST
Chapter 6: Chicken Wuss
After the ensuing silence, the first to break it was Argilla, "Sorry Heat. I just couldn't help it."
Serph shook his head, "Anyway, we're glad that you're doing alright."
Heat snorted but said nothing, turning his face away! Damn straight they should be sorry!
Serph looked at Heat resolutely and nodded before gazing over to Sera giving her the "I'm sorry" look.
Argilla followed his eyes' trajectory and there she was met with Sera's gentle smiling face. It was the epitome of innocence in her opinion…She suddenly shook her head with a pair of closed eyes as she felt guilty for having thought such thoughts about Heat and Sera that way.
She blushed, 'I…'
'My, what a dirty mind…' she said to herself as she continued to chuckle away; pondering over at her own undoing.
"So, erm…Sera…Heat…We just…dropped by to say…hello…" Serph said sheepishly, hiding a faint blush on his face as he scratched his head. What was there to say anyway? Not only had they embarrassed themselves by bursting into the room thinking that the two were up to something unsavory, but they had also insulted Heat!
'But it wasn't out of line for me to do that…' he thought as he thought about bursting through the door. Sera was his sister! She needed protection!
'Yes…But you know that she isn't a little girl…She's a grown woman now.'
He sighed inwardly; perhaps he was just overreacting! He was being too protective again!
Heat's face mirrored Serph's; regretful and disappointed. Serph wasn't supposed to see that…He wasn't supposed to see Sera rubbing cream on him! Damn it! He sighed; how was he to be the strongest now? Damn…Another setback.
Wanting to salvage whatever dignity he still had, he merely nodded, forcing his ever irking blush to abandon his already chickenpox-infested face and grunted, "What the hell do you two think you were doing barging into my room like that?!"
"Well…you see…um…" Argilla trailed off. She didn't want either Heat or Sera to know that they had been "eavesdropping" from the outside. She didn't want them to know that they were thinking bad things about them either.
Nope.
"We thought we heard a commotion."
Argilla whipped her head to look at the profile of Serph; ah yes…He was leader. No one could question him. Yay! They were saved! No loss of face here!
Heat narrowed his eyes and he heard a chuckle, "Now, now Heat. Serph and Argilla just wanted to say hello." said Sera.
He grunted and still refused to meet her eyes. She sighed.
Serph nodded, "Right. So, we've already said that. Well, we'll leave it to you then." he said, preparing to leave.
"Yup. Get well soon Heat!" Argilla waved as the two turned and walked away. Well…they really couldn't wait to leave that room. It was just too stuffy in there. It was too thickly veiled with tension and aloofness.
"And don't you two be naughty."
Heat and Sera stiffened at that. That was Serph who said that.
Naughty…?
Them…?!
"Ugh…" groaned Heat as he shook his head, closing his eyes. This…wasn't his day…
Sera blushed and bit her finger but nonetheless said nothing.
A moment later, Heat and Sera found themselves alone once more…
The air terribly felt awkward again… And Serph's last remark wasn't helping to dissipate the aforesaid awkward air.
Heat growled; why was it being awkward in the first place?! Damn it! Nothing was happening in between them anyway! So he was half naked on his bed with her pouring and applying cream on his skin.
That didn't mean anything!
Besides; he was sick!
Sick!
That surely didn't count!
Besides, they were friends! They were the best of friends!
At that moment, as he heard nothing but silence in the room, his thoughts still lingering on his mind, he frowned.
What he had said in his mind should have convinced him that the air between him and Sera should be anything but awkward. Those thoughts should've convinced him that because they were the best of friends that nothing could ever come in between that friendship…
He frowned.
He frowned…
He frowned because he just didn't believe that.
xxxxx
It had been two days now since Heat's dismissal from the infirmary. Sera bit her lip as she applied the wet towel on his forehead. He was freezing cold.
He was having a fever again. And from the looks of it, a very high one.
'He's burning up…!' she thought frantically.
It had been the same two days ago…She had thought though, that she had kept his fever under control…
Flashback
She bit her lip. He was burning up. She had just taken his temperature and he was having a 103-degree fever.
She left his side and went for his closets. From there, she had taken out his thickest blankets and comforters and there set them on the chair. She went to his side once more and decided to change his apparel. He needed to sweat his fever out; wearing thin jammies wasn't going to help…
She went for his closets and took out his sweaters and his thick pants. She flew to his side and unbuttoned his pajama top hurriedly; she couldn't let him be exposed to the chilly air for long! She hurriedly undressed him, careful not to agitate his rash. She had then hurriedly dressed him and quickly buried him within his comforters.
From there, she went for the basin of water by his bedstead and rinsed the white cloth. A while later, she had draped it on his forehead. She bit her lip once more and looked at him with utter worry and sympathy as she saw him visibly shiver. He was still cold!
She looked around frantically. There was nothing else she could do…
And so, she nodded, She made up her mind.
She quickly got under the covers with him and embraced him at tightly as she could, sharing her body heat with him.
"Heat…" she trailed off. He seemed to have realized that she was there as he wrapped his arms around her…returning her embrace.
End Flashback
She sighed; she had already fed him and had given him his pills…She had kept him warm and his room completely clean and neat to ensure that no bacteria or those germs spread in the air within filthy enclosed spaces bred.
This was her second night staying with him…
After his dismissal from the infirmary, she had again asked Serph for a few days off. She had reasoned that she wouldn't be able to perform her duties without her partner…
He had conceded to her request and she was glad.
'Oh Serph…Thank you for understanding…' she thought, smiling to herself.
She bit her lip as her thoughts were interrupted by a cough. She looked at Heat who was lying on his bed, on his back, asleep. He was coughing left and right. She knew that he had the sore throat.
She sighed; but at least his rash was beginning to form scabs…
That was a good thing.
Although that he did look funny in her eyes at that moment, she just couldn't bring herself to laugh. She was worried stiff about him.
She looked at her watch.
Right. It was time to take his temperature again. Hopefully this time, the results would be favorable. She had waited a few more minutes, still pondering over her partner's state…
She wondered for a moment. What was he thinking of at that moment?
'Thinking…?' she shook her head, 'Silly! He's asleep…'
Well, being that the case, then, 'I wonder…what he is dreaming of…?'
'I don't know…But it's probably not you.' an annoying voice penetrated her thoughts. Sera cast her face down. The voice may be vexing and totally irritating, but it was a viable point. What made her think in the least that Heat was dreaming of her…? Or was dreaming of something that was remotely tied to her?
Fat chance on that one.
"S-sera…"
She stiffened at that and blinked her widened silver eyes, "Heat…!" she whispered. No. He was still asleep. Her hand immediately went for his neck and there felt for his temperature. It was still burning hot. She frowned.
He was dreaming.
But then…as she heard her name pass through his lips, she felt glad. It would seem that the annoying voice was wrong after all. Her smile faded though as she remembered the dreams that she had started to have not too long ago.
It had been those dreams that had informed her of her past life with him…It had been those dreams that had…given her, her revelation of sorts.
She smiled ruefully at her sleeping tiger.
Was there a chance…that he was dreaming of their past…? Was there a chance that maybe…he was having that revelation too…?
"Hn…"
His moan and pouting face woke her from her daze and she immediately remembered his temperature. Without further distractions, she read his temperature again.
This time, she smiled for real; he was cooling down.
The worst had passed.
Flashback
After that day, she had continued to care for him. He was still bedridden and semi-conscious on the next day…
She sighed, "You've gotten the whammy…" she said, knowing that he wouldn't respond.
She felt his neck and his clothes and was glad that he had sweated quite a lot. She smiled and proceeded to get him off the wet clothes.
She had gotten a small pail of water and liquid soap with her. She really couldn't bring him to the lavatory…So, she figured that she'd bathe him on his bed.
It would be tricky; but she could do it.
Once she had stripped him bare, she went for the towel and rinsed it. Once it was damped enough, she rubbed it against his skin. She froze as he stiffened; he was probably feeling a bit cold…
She did her best though as the water that she had used was warm. After letting his skin be damped and wet, she applied the liquid soap on him…
The rinsing part was the hardest for her…
Again, it had been the same procedure with the towel. She let the cloth soak up the water and there rubbed his skin with it, taking the soap with it. It was wash, rinse and repeat for Sera. But she didn't mind.
After a while, he was as clean as she could get him to be considering the circumstances…
She had taken out his clean clothes and had dressed him. A few moments later, he was within his blankets once more…
She stood and cleaned the mess that she had made and went for the kitchen. She needed to fix him his breakfast. He would most probably be disoriented again, but it was alright.
End Flashback
And that was how it was for her. After that, she had fed him and wasn't surprised when she found him to be completely disoriented. He had been in delirium and hence, his condition was normal…
He probably wouldn't remember much of what had happened when he got better…
She was exhausted from caring for him…She was tired physically…But her heart and her spirit would never tire of caring for him. No. Never. She didn't mind even if she had to spend the rest of her life caring for him…
That was how much she loved him…
She would never tire of him…
Ever…
"Get well soon Heat…" she whispered as she ran her hand through the fiery locks of his hair, before leaning down in order for her soft and moist lips to meet his forehead.
She chuckled lightly as she made contact for there, she had also made contact with his forming scabs. Yes. Even on his forehead, there had been the occasional rash…
Lucky for her, she had already had chickenpox when she had been a child.
Hm. That got her thinking then. Heat had never told her that he had never had chickenpox. And she, not being told, assumed that he had already passed through that stage.
She chuckled again.
He was a surprise, upon a surprise, upon another surprise.
xxxxx
Heat opened his eyes and moaned groggily.
'What the hell happened…?'
He looked around himself and saw that it was still dark out. Hm. It would seem that the sun had yet to rise. He yawned lightly and stretched only to feel the now all-too-familiar itch and sting on his skin. He squinted his eyes and looked at the rash on his skin; he smirked.
The scabs were coming along nicely.
He yawned again and grabbed the clock by his bedstead. He saw the date and there blinked in surprise, 'I've been out for two days…?'
He frowned at that.
His frown escalated as he remembered the dream that he had had. He had dreamed about…him and Sera. It had all been a blur to him…
In that dream, he had seen a younger version of him and her. It was in a faraway place; a place that he had never been to.
Again.
It had been the same dream. Over and over.
What did that mean…?
He may not have been as smart as Gale or as near to that, but it didn't take for a rocket scientist to realize that the dream that he had been seeing was trying to tell him something.
Sure, he prayed at the Temple…The Karma Temple. It had been their religion of sorts anyway. He had been aware of their teaching of reincarnation and such…but never really bought it. Even now.
He just thought that it was a whole load of garbage really.
'If I were to die and get reincarnated, it had been be in a better place than this shithole…' he thought dryly, annoyed at himself at even entertaining such a thought.
Reincarnation! Ha!
'Whatever.'
He shook his head and thought of more realistic events. Thinking of reincarnation and past lives and future lives were of no use. It wouldn't change the fact that he was still there at the Junkyard, being ill and having puss-filled hives on his face.
Two days. He had been "out" for two days. Well, he really wasn't sure if he had collapsed or was unconscious completely. To him, the previous two days were a blur…He couldn't really remember all that had happened…
He narrowed his eyes in thought. Well, at least now, he was well enough to think again! He internally laughed at that.
He blinked a few moments later, a slow blush creeping upon his cheeks. Sera. He had seen her…
'She…she was here…?'
He looked around himself and saw that his room was neat and tidy. Everything was in order. Everything in his room was not in the way that he had remembered it. Right. She had definitely been there.
She cleaned up after him…Didn't she…?
Feeling the overwhelming sensation of curiosity overtake him, he sat up fully and swung his legs to the side of his bed. He shivered as his feet made contact with the floor's cold surface. But nonetheless, he ignored the icy prick on his skin and walked.
He internally cursed as his vision spun slowly. He blinked his eyes numerous of times, getting them to finally refocus. The last thing that he needed was to faint on the floor once more and to have Sera care for him again.
He walked over to the large chair and there found a lump that he didn't see before. He looked at it steadily before making his way near it. He leaned in and there he saw that it had been Sera…
She was fast asleep.
His eyes softened and his heart melted; although he would never admit it. Not even to himself. He looked at her with an indifferent facial expression but meaningfully all the same.
He suddenly felt horrible.
She had been caring for him still…? So, he hadn't been hallucinating all those times when he would suddenly slip into consciousness and over to unconsciousness. In all of those times, he thought that he had seen her face. And now, as he saw her there, on the chair with just a small blanket over her, sleeping…He knew that he wasn't dreaming those visions of her.
He glared at her, 'Why…? Why do you continue to take care of me Sera…? A mere weakling…' he internally choked.
He turned from her and there walked stealthily over to his closet. He pulled a larger and thicker blanket…
He walked over to her again and draped the blanket on her, securely. He smiled a bit as he saw her stir in her sleep, smiling…
"Heat…" she breathed out.
Heat felt happy. She dreamt of him?
Without further thoughts, he turned and walked over to his bed, burying himself within the covers once more. From there, he could only catch a small glimpse of his sleeping angel. She must be overly uncomfortable in that chair…
But that was the only thing that he could offer her. His bed was out of the question. She might catch something from him…
And that was the last thing that he wanted for her.
That was the worst thing that he could do at the moment.
'Tch…To infect her with this…crap…after taking care of me…That's just fucked up…' he thought with a sneer. Oh no. For now, in his weakened state, this was the best thing he could do for her.
Not to infect her. Actually, that was the least thing he could do.
He tore his eyes from where she slept and fixed them instead on the ceiling. He looked at it with unfazed eyes. He sighed.
Everything that he had done so far had been all for naught. Everything that he had hoped for had remained a mere pipedream. None of his aspirations had come through.
Everything was a failure.
'I'm a failure…' he thought not with anger…but with despair.
Lately, everything had been a mistake. His claim on his strength…had been refuted, not once, not twice…but over and over.
"Tch…" he spat.
He claimed that he was strongest. But he wasn't. There was Serph. He was the strongest of the strongest wasn't he? There was no way that he would be able to beat him anyway…
Then, he had collapsed atop that tower not too long ago. He had reckoned that he could withstand the elements. But he supposed that he had been wrong about that too.
Then, after that, he had caught that blasted cold. That cold…was a prelude of things that had come to pass. People would say that a cold was a cold. It was common…and basically unavoidable by all of those who lived. But for Heat, it wasn't just a common cold. It was a symbol. It was a symbol of his weakness. It was a glimpse of what will and what had happened.
That cold was what had Sera doubting his strength…wasn't it…? It was when he started to feel as if he had shrunk…in comparison to her. During that time, it had been her whom he had leaned on involuntarily.
He didn't really want her to care for him…but she just did. And he had to admit that he did need help…Even if just a little.
He had noticed that she had gone stronger as well. He had not praised her or made comments about it but he noticed. He wasn't blind.
But he just didn't want to acknowledge the change in her. If he did, that would only propel her to get even stronger. And when the time came…she wouldn't need him anymore…It wouldn't matter to her if he got stronger for her or not.
Why did she do that anyway? Wasn't he enough to protect her? Didn't she think that he was strong enough?
Probably not.
He narrowed his eyes; his sickness was what propelled her to change. If only he didn't get ill! If only his body had not failed him! Damn!
He sighed.
And if things didn't get any worse, he had caught the chickenpox.
That had gotten him bedridden, completely contagious and totally dependent.
Needless to say, he abhorred such feelings. And much more, he abhorred his state.
'Dependent…Like a damn child…!' he thought sadly.
He felt as though the world was against him. He wasn't a spiritualist, but he couldn't help but get a feeling that there was an unseen hand at work against him.
He frowned for a moment before shaking his head, laughing slightly, 'Spirits and fate. Right…'
'I think I've been out of commission for too long.' he told himself mentally.
He let out a frustrated growl. He was useless. He had outlived his usefulness…He wondered now, what was to become of him…
When he got better, what would happen then…?
'I don't know.'
He just didn't feel like doing anything anymore. He looked around him and saw only useless things. Drawers…cabinets…chairs…
They were all useless…
Just like him.
And then…there was that issue.
He was in love. He sneered at that. Being in love was useless if he couldn't protect her. Being in love was stupid if he couldn't even get her to realize that he felt what he felt for her. After all, how would she receive such a weakling?
No way at all…
xxxxx
Sera awoke to a warm feeling. She yawned and stretched and saw that a warm and thick blanket had been draped on her.
'Who…?'
She suddenly sat up, 'Heat…!'
She looked at his bed and saw that it was empty. She looked at that window and saw that the sun was beginning to rise.
Like a worried mother, she quickly got on her feet and there dashed for the lavatory. She knocked, "Heat…? Are you in there?"
"Yeah." was his calm response.
Well, he sounded better. He probably didn't have a cold anymore. And if he was well enough to walk into the lavatory without assistance, it was a safe assumption to assume that he had passed the worse.
No more convulsions, no more deliriums.
That was a good thing.
She wanted to smile and leave him alone but there was just a voice in her head telling her to ask him…
And so she did, "Are you alright?"
Heat looked at the wall blankly and responded automatically, "Yea. I am."
Sera was taken aback. Why did he sound like that? Granted, he sounded fine, but his tone was…flat…Almost dead.
Heat wasn't like that.
His voice now missed its usual gruffness; it was missing its usual exuberance…its usual zealousness.
She bit her lip. Was it her fault…? Was it because of her?
'Nonsense…' she told herself, shaking, 'He's just in that phase…In that 'getting over a sickness' phase. That's all. He's probably a little moody and groggy…' she finished with a light laugh.
But no matter how convincing the voice was in her head, she just couldn't bring herself to believe it.
xxxxx
"Why don't you just tell him?"
She stiffened as she heard the voice. She turned sharply around and was met with bright pink eyes, "Argilla, hi."
The pink-haired woman smiled and sat beside her. They were on a bench, in the park. She had just been passing by when she had seen Sera.
She really didn't need to ask what had brought the younger woman there. She already knew. One look at her said it all.
'Guy problems.'
"Well, Sera?" she prodded, leaning slightly forward to take a better look at the black-haired girl.
"I…I can't…" she replied, closing her eyes, furrowing her eyebrows as if she had been hurt.
Argilla sighed too, "Oh man…Sera, you can't go on like this…"
"I know…but…"
"But?" Argilla asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I…I don't want to make a fool out of myself…" said Sera, sitting up properly, straitening her back, and turning to face the pink-haired woman, "He might hate me."
"Sera…love is about taking chances…It won't matter if you'd look silly to other people…All that matters is you and him. No one else is involved. He's your friend; if not, your best-friend. He'll understand." she said with a smile, draping a warm hand on the petite younger woman's hand.
"But what if-?"
Argilla shook her head, "He'll understand Sera. Don't sell him out too short. Trust him." she finished, gazing deeply into her silver eyes.
Sera cast her head down after a moment, breaking the eye-contact and slowly spoke, "It's not just that…"
She had been carrying this burden alone for too long a time now. Perhaps it was time to confide in someone who would understand…
"I've been having…a lot of dreams…" she began, her silver eyes dilating, fixing themselves on the far off distance, as if she were in a trance.
"A dream? What dream?"
"It's…about him and me…"
xxxxx
It was midday. He had just had his lunch via Sera. And as soon as she had fed him, he had sent her away.
He really didn't feel much like talking…or seeing her.
He was weak and dependent. He knew that now. And he really didn't want her to be rubbing it in his face. He knew that she wasn't doing that. She made no comment or actuations that were deemed demeaning…but…it was just her presence that made him feel…inadequate.
Her presence was irking him.
He just wanted to be alone. And so, he told her just that.
Mean?
Nope. At the moment and with the way he was feeling about himself, questioning the motives of how he had thus far lived his life and justified his pathetic existence, he really couldn't care about what she felt or what she thought he sounded.
Mean or no, he wanted to be alone.
He sighed and stood, walking over to the mirror on the wall.
Heat looked at himself in the mirror long and hard. He lightly touched the scabs on his face and narrowed his eyes.
So that was how he looked like now.
Damn.
He blinked, "What the hell…?"
"Ugly son of a bitch…" he trailed off as he tore himself away from the mirror, no longer having the will to remain looking within the abysmal and dismal reflection.
Bloody hell.
That was how he looked like.
That was how he looked like…?
Ugly. Well…that was the word for him alright…
He sighed; but that wasn't what was important. Not really. Unless…
He sat down for a moment. He had been so preoccupied with the question of power and strength…that he had never considered the question…beauty.
He blinked.
Was he attractive?
Did he look good…?
It wasn't a question that strong warriors needed not be handsome…or good-looking and vice versa.
Before, he had figured that Sera wasn't one to look at physical appearances anyway. Back then, he had even laughed at himself as to why he was asking that question. And why Sera's opinion mattered.
Now, looking back at it, he knew why.
He had been in love with her…even back then. Even as they were young, he had already fallen for her…but had dismissed the feeling as being something or the other…
Now, he was asking himself the same question, but no longer buying the same answer. Was he attractive…? Was he good-looking…?
He couldn't care any less about another woman's opinion. All that mattered was Sera's. Was he attractive…in her eyes…?
Did she think that he was good-looking…? Even in the slightest…?
'I…'
'I'll tell you one thing dumb prick. If she ever thought of you as a stud, she doesn't now.' a condescending voice taunted him from the depths of his mind.
He frowned, '…'
'You did take a look at yourself didn't you fucktard?'
'…'
Yes. He did. And he already knew what he looked like.
Ugly.
So…he was ugly.
'And gross.' the voice added.
'…'
'Those hives of yours won't remain like that forever you know. What kinda shit do you think would spurt from those?' the voice laughed and snickered.
'…'
Oh yea. Heat knew all right.
Puss.
And lots of it.
From that point of view, the voice was right. He really was gross. Not just that; but ugly too.
'A gross ugly son of a-'
He sighed, "Enough." he said resolutely.
The voice had gone.
'I really…am a screw-up.'
xxxxx
"And…that's what happened." Sera finished, taking her sweet time in filling Argilla with the details about her dream.
The older woman leaned back and rested her back on the bench's backrest, her fingers on her chin, "Reincarnation. Just like what the Temple taught huh?"
Sera cast her face down, "I don't know…But…all I know is that I can't tell him how I feel…because of those dreams."
Argilla turned her face to look at the younger maiden and blinked, "Why not?"
"I…I just want him to realize it first. If he did and he remembered me…then, maybe, then…"
"I just don't get it Sera. Why can't you tell him? Who cares about what happened between you and him in that past life? That was then and this is now!" she told the girl, placing both of her hands on Sera's shoulders, making the girl turn and face her.
"Before the dreams, I knew that Heat was special to me. But I didn't know why…But now, I know." she sighed as she paused before resuming her speech, "I had made certain that what I feel for him is real…and isn't a result from residues of past lives' feelings…! I didn't want my feelings for him to be…fake…!"
Argilla was taken aback but said nothing, urging her to continue.
"I want my feelings for him to be real. I want to feel them as Sera…The Sera of the Junkyard. And not as the Sera of the past. That Sera, she may be me…a part of me and will always be me…a part of me…But that life is over and done with. She's not me anymore. I won't have her feelings influence mine. And I don't want his past life's feelings to influence his."
Sera took a breath and gazed deeply into Argilla's pink eyes, letting her know of how serious and how emotive she was feeling, "I want…the Heat of the Junkyard. And not the Heat of the past."
Argilla said nothing and instead, held Sera's hand and lightly squeezed it. She understood.
xxxxx
Another two days had passed and Heat was getting better. In more ways than one. His fever had subsided and had left him altogether. His cold too.
Now, all that remained was his slightly sore throat, a throbbing headache and his ever proud and disgusting puss-filled hives.
He deemed that he was no longer in need of Sera's aid. And he had pointed it out to her. He had half-expected her to refuse his dismissal and had even looked forward to hearing her persuade him to decide otherwise.
But what he had not expected what she had done. She had merely nodded and him and said a curt and polite goodbye. He did a double-take back then, confused.
Flashback
He cleared his throat, "Listen Sera, I'm feeling better now. I can fend for myself."
That was all he said. He said nothing more and looked at her in an unfazed manner. She did not even look at him and had her face cast down.
He internally smirked; she was going to ask him to reconsider wasn't she?
"Okay Heat. I'll see you in a few days."
And with that, she had turned around and left, leaving a bewildered Heat standing in the middle of the room.
End Flashback
And that was how it went. He felt a bit disappointed at her response though. He had expected anything but that. He frowned; why did she leave so suddenly…?
'Duh! Idiot! You're ugly!'
He sighed; there was that voice again!
But still, the voice had a point. He did look ugly, didn't he?
Sera didn't want to see him…And for some reason, he didn't want to see her either.
xxxxx