A/N: Disclaimer: Refer back to Chapter 1.
WARNING: SEMI-AU, OOC, LANGUAGE, SUGGESTIVE THEMES, WAFF, FLUFF, LIME
Chapter 8: Out of the Chicken-Shit Outfit
"I…I think that they're memories…of past lives." she finished, releasing her breath. She knew that she sounded totally ludicrous. It was pretty much crazy to all those who heard her!
Even to her own ears.
"Haha…" she lightly laughed, "It's stupid huh?"
His response was something that she had never expected to hear, "Hm…Reincarnation crap? I think I had a dream about that too…"
"H-huh…?" she asked.
He scratched his head and concentrated. A few moments later, he frowned, "Nope. Nothing. I can't recall any more of that bullshit."
"Who cares anyway?" he asked, shrugging his shoulders in indifference.
Sera's eyes widened at that. Who cares…? She cared!
"But Heat! Don't you want to know about-"
"No. Why would I?" came his nonchalant reply, his eyes half-lidded with boredom.
"But-!"
"But nothing Sera. What happened to those bozos have nothing to do with us." he spoke knowingly, with absolute certainty.
"But…!"
"Nah…Thinking about that would give me a damn headache…" he said dismissively, shaking his head.
Why was she insisting so damn much?! Oh boy. He wasn't the biggest fan of the Temple or its teachings but he was decent enough to know and remember the basic teachings in subjects of transmigration and reincarnation.
That life was over. The karma that she and he carried had been their own, yes, and they had been carried over onto the next life, yes, but the sins that those bozos had committed were their own; likewise all of their actions and decisions.
That was a completely separate lifetime! True that it was them, per se, but not really. Things had changed. He wasn't that Heat anymore and Sera wasn't her any longer!
The road ahead now pointed out for them to live their lives…free of the past, and look onto the future…of their own making…
Sera held her tongue. She felt…disappointed. Didn't Heat care…? Wasn't he the least bit curious…? Now that she knew that he had had the same dreams and had mistaken it for a fragmented memory, she had been sure that it would be the perfect opportunity for he and her to have their…special talk…
But now, it would seem that he had dismissed the idea and no longer wished to speak of it…
"But Heat! Sera was in love with him there!" she blurted out. Yes. She was. She could vividly recall the dreams that she had had pertaining to that notion.
She had seen her and Heat together…hand in hand…At times it would be within a plain space…with nothing but eternal white. She would see the two of them kiss…and makes promises to one another…
And then…
If that wasn't enough to convince her of their relationship, she had begun to have more…intimate dreams…
She had borne witness to the love-embrace of the two…
Flashback
"Heat…!" she moaned as she held onto him desperately…
The world had blurred past them…leaving them behind as it continued to spin on its axis, letting time go by…
Time itself had not waited and had abandoned the two lovers…leaving them to their passionate dance…
He said nothing but continued to grunt and groan away…moving within her world with reckless abandon.
Beads of sweat adorned his face…and his chest…only to fall on his lover's.
She let out a sucked breath as she felt her oblivion come into being. Her lover froze above her; his end had also come…and it had claimed him. She held him to her bare bosom as he came within her.
"Heat…I love you…"
"I love you…Sera…" he whispered in return as he calmed himself.
End Flashback
Her whole body ignited as she recalled the passionate dream. But as she realized what she had told Heat and realized just what she had thought, her palms immediately flew to her mouth, as if to punish her treacherous lips and tongue.
Here, Heat turned to her with a raised eyebrow, noting the blush on her face and how she covered her lips with her palms. She what?
He had heard her though. "Who was what with whom?" he asked again, wanting her to repeat what she had said earlier. Whereas before he had wanted to dismiss the idea, now he wanted to rekindle the talk.
"Sera…" she breathed out slowly, "She…she liked him. Heat…" she said, shamefully.
Heat maintained his raised eyebrow, "And what does that have to do with you and me?"
"…"
She said nothing in reply. Wasn't it obvious!? She was already giving him all the signals and yet he was still as blind as a bat to it! What would it take?!
"It has nothing to do with you and me Sera." he said bluntly, "What happened in the past, happened there. That's all."
He knew what she was getting at. He wasn't stupid. She had brought that up to him for a reason. And he was going to find out what.
So, sticking to his pattern of behavior, he grinned at her. "Why? Wanna see if we're going to have the same fate?" he asked as he leaned close to her, his hands on either side of her.
She leaned back, her hands on his chest, and blushed, "N-no! Of-of course not…!"
Being mesmerized by her eyes, he slowly began to close his eyes, "Care to…find out…?"
She knew that she shouldn't be doing what she was doing. She had expected herself to react and fend him off…but instead, she had also began to lean towards him, slowly drawing her eyes to a close…
Their lips then met in a slow and gentle kiss…
The couple moaned as their tongues had battled for supremacy…Sera gasped as she felt herself meet her bed. A moment later, she had felt him on top of her, his hands on her face…
And like a passing daydream, their kiss had ended.
"Whoa…! What was…that…?" he asked, completely embarrassed.
He sat up and turned away, "Errr…yea…Sorry about that…"
Sera looked at him sadly. This was why she had wanted to talk to him about those dreams. Now, as he sat there, turning his face away, she realized that he was still in confusion with regards to his feelings…
And it was because of that confusion that the seeds of doubt began to grow within her bosom.
Was…the behavior of affection, the action of intimacy…and the sensation of fondness…emanating from him…? Or from the Heat of the past…?
Argilla was right. There was no getting around this.
She gritted her teeth in frustration. She didn't know what was going on anymore. She had played the sissy card long enough. She had hinted at him hard enough…She had been patient with him enough.
"Heat why did you kiss me?"
She had asked that question of him before. And before, he had told her a hurtful answer. Now, she had asked it again. Now, she was confident that he was going to give her a real answer…
She was confident.
"And please…be honest with me." she said gently, desperately.
Heat sighed; it was that question again…What was he to say now…?
If he said that he was in love with her…Then…wouldn't she take that as…weakness…?
"Sera…I better go…" he said, standing up, still not meeting her face.
Sera growled as she felt her heart beginning to break. He was running away again! He was being his pompous self again! Why can't he just tell her? Was that too much to ask? Was honesty too much to ask for?
He began to walk away from her but she wouldn't let him. No; not this time. There was no more running away! They had to settle this now!
"Don't run away Heat!"
He froze at her words and turned to face her, "I'm not running from anything Sera. I'm no coward."
Aa…
So that was it huh? He was…afraid…wasn't he…?
At that, Sera understood…She should've known. This was Heat after all…Her power-hungry, strength-obsessed lovable brute…
"Oh Heat…" she said gently, walking over to him, taking his hand in hers, "Why can't you just tell me…?" she asked, her eyes pleading with his.
Heat froze as he found himself locked within her gaze.
What should he say…? He didn't want to be…He didn't want to appear weak…
"I can't…" he told her sadly, his eyes swimming in utter honesty.
"Why not…?" she persisted, "Don't you trust me…?"
He sighed; if only she knew…
"Why?! Why can't you tell me!? Is it because you're confused?" she cried out, clenching her tiny hands into tiny fists, baring her teeth in irritation and desperation.
"Confused…?" he repeated; what was she talking about? There she was again pulling the same bemusing bullshit in his room! Why can't she just stop leading him around by the nose tell it to his face damn it!?
"Yes. Confused! This is exactly why I wanted to talk about those dreams Heat!" she half-yelled, her eyes burning his, "I wanted to know…your feelings about me! Are they yours!? Or…his…?" she asked, her tone reaching an all-time low whisper.
She looked away, her eyes brimming with tears.
Heat's heart stopped and the sensation of irritation had subsided. She…She was right. He had never really thought about it.
But she was wrong as well.
He wasn't confused…
"Sera," he began, his tone gruff. At that, her eyes quickly rose to meet his blood-red orbs. The look of utter resolve and cold strength sent an eerie wave throughout her body.
She was petrified and stupefied on the spot.
"I have nothing to do with that scumbag. He could've been a rapist or a pedophile…or a Karma Temple fanboy; I don't give a shit. My feelings are my own. They aren't his. And whatever his might have been, I don't give a damn." he stopped and took a step towards her. He grabbed her by her arms and leaned closer, his eyes never leaving hers, "Whatever I feel is my damn business. Don't you tell me that I'm confused."
Sera could say nothing as his eyes continued to hold her imprisoned, his powerful will bombarding the fragile fortress of her mind, willing it to surrender and admit defeat.
"You're the only one confused here Sera." he told her firmly before letting go, and taking a step back.
"…!" she gasped.
Her eyes widened as she realized the full implications of his words. A moment later, she could no longer bring herself to meet his gaze and there let her eyes meet the floor. He…was right…Why had she been so…involved with those dreams…?
Why did she even think that there was a chance of their past selves influencing their lives now…?
"You're right Heat." she admitted, "You're right…"
But then again, now what? He still had not answered her question.
He said nothing in reply and there began to walk away once more. Her mind spun and her body jerked forward, holding onto him, halting his movement, "Wait! You…you haven't answered my question!"
"What question…?" he asked in an irritated tone.
"Why did you kiss me…?" she asked again, "What…what do you feel for me…? Am I…just a friend…? Are we just friends…? Or…do you want to be friends with…special privileges…?"
His eyes widened at that and he turned around, "What!? What the fuck have you been smoking!?" he thundered angrily, "I never said that!"
"Then just tell me!!" she yelled, "Please…" she finished in a humble plea, her eyes hanging on his desperately.
He sighed.
He can't hide any longer…
She had had him cornered…
And as he said to her before, he was no coward. Rejection or no, he had to face his fate now.
"Sera…Just think for a second. I…" he paused and looked away, "I…I can't declare my intentions to Serph of…asking for your hand…without anything to show for."
Her heart stopped, "W-what did you say…?"
He growled; there was no turning back now. He looked at her and there held her shoulders firmly, his eyes on hers intently, "I want to earn the right to marry you. I…I have to get Serph's approval for that…And I can't…do that, in this weakened state."
Sera's eyes widened, "Heat…Are you telling me…that you…you love me?"
He grunted and nodded, turning away.
"Heat…"
Now, she knew for certain that their feelings for one another were real, were their own…and had transgressed beyond all forms of mere friendship.
"And I don't want to hear it. I'm not good enough for you. So let's just drop it okay?" he said, a bit irritated.
He turned from her and started to walk away when he felt a pair of warm hands around his waist. He widened his eyes and then growled, "I don't need pity Sera."
She said nothing but just pulled herself to him, nuzzling her face against his back. A moment later, she spoke, "Oh Heat…I'm not pitying you…How many times do I have to tell you…? I…I only have your best interest in mind…I only want what's best for you…" she finished in a low, emotive whisper.
Heat's heart stopped and he stiffened as if he suffered from catatonic schizophrenia as he felt a warm body press against his from behind.
"W-what are you doing Sera…?" he asked, his tone cracking, his voice losing its tenacity.
"Heat…What I've really wanted to tell you…"
He could feel his heart thumping uncontrollably within his chest, beating against his ribcage as if it was going to burst out. He could feel his whole body rise in temperature as he continued to be imprisoned within her small but warm arms.
Wait! It was probably the other hives on his skin…
Drat.
"S-sera…Let go." he finished firmly, thanking his lucky stars that his voice had cooperated when the rest of his body did not.
His hands came to his waist, where her hands were intertwined and there held them, attempting to pry them from him. To his surprise, the petite woman whom he had protected all those times, the small girl that he had deemed weak was strong enough to repel his efforts.
"Heat…Don't. I don't want to let go." she told him meekly, innocently.
"Sera…This isn't right…"
"Heat…I love you…" she whispered.
He stiffened once more, "W-what…?"
She giggled, "You're not deaf! Don't make me repeat it!"
He was speechless…He had heard her all too clearly. It had always been his dream to hear such melodious and rhythmic words escape her lips…
And for once, unlike those times of late, the gods had not forsaken him and had granted him his wish…
His hands went for hers and there just held them in his…Neither spoke a word and was just content to be with one another's arms…
And then, like all fantasies, like all moments, had to come to an end.
Sera disentangled herself from him and he turned around in order to face her. He bent his face downwards in order for their eyes to meet. His red orbs fixed themselves on her gentle silver pools, scanning them meticulously for any sign of false truth…lies…of deceit…and worse of all, pity.
He had been mirthful and grateful to have found none.
So…did that mean that she really…did love him…?
"Sera…About…"
She shook her head, "I mean it…I love you…" Her eyes locked his in a loving yet firm gaze and there ensnared him completely like a deer caught in headlights, "That was why I wanted to talk about the dream…the dream of the past. I just want to know if…you know about that past."
He slightly narrowed his eyes at her, "I told you Sera; what had happened to those bozos in the past are left in the past. They don't have anything to do with you and me."
She smiled, "That…that is the response…that I've been wanting to hear…" As soon as she had finished, she had lunged herself at him once more and there nuzzled her face against his chest.
His words, though gruff and cold, had provided with the safety and warmth that she could ever hope for. It had been exactly what she had wanted to hear…
He was right…It had been foolish to have clung to the memories of the past the way she had done. She had been so preoccupied about worrying about what Heat's feelings might be that she had begun to lose perception of what it was she really wanted.
She had wanted to be with him; she had wanted to tell him how she felt. But because of her insecurities, the insecurities that she had built within herself, she had almost lost him. She had almost given up.
She had been too preoccupied with her fears of his rejection that she had failed to interpret the real motives behind his actions…
It was funny…really.
They had been in love with one another from day one and yet there they were running around in circles, never quite reaching the other…
And the cause of it?
Pure insecurities…
Well, now there was no more insecurity within her. Now, she could tell him whatever it was she wanted to tell him.
She loved him.
And she would tell him that again, again and again. She would never get tired of telling him that…
"Heat…I want to be with you…Always…"
He smiled, "Sera…"
"You don't have to say anything…" she said, assuring him. She knew how touch he was when it came to things of intimacy…He thought that it was a sign of weakness. Well, she could accommodate him. She didn't need his words to assure her that he loved her.
She had already felt his love from his actions. No words were necessary…
"No." he suddenly said, "I…I want to tell you. I erm…I love you…too…" he said, coughing a bit, not bringing himself to tell her completely. He tried his best and that was it! He wasn't an over-romantic like Romeo…but he deemed that it was progress…
Hopefully, she would appreciate his efforts.
"Heat…!" she giggled, "You're such a drama queen…!"
He grinned at her and said nothing. She smiled still and there looked at him with utter seriousness. Aside from that…there was something else that Heat needed to hear.
"Heat…"
"What?" he asked, his eyes now foregoing their prior look of passion, and now just…curiosity.
She sighed, "I don't want you to do those stunts anymore…They're dangerous."
"But…!"
She shook her head, "Heat, you are a very strong man. There…isn't a need to demonstrate it for me…Ever." She could see the doubt swimming in his eyes. He was looking at her intently, silently daring her to prove to him the truth in her previous statements.
She smiled and took his hand in hers and then rested his palm upon her beating heart, "You feel that…?"
He nodded but said nothing, just looking at where he hand was. Yes. He could feel the calm beating of her heart…
"My heart…beats only for you…My heart is calm…because I feel safe around you." she said in a gentle voice, smiling, "My heart…is calm…because it is within your strong hands that I had placed it. You have my complete trust…faith…and love…"
He sucked in a quick breath as her short lies came to an end, "S-Sera…" He didn't know what to say. His eyes immediately flew to hers…and within those calm and loving silver pools of hers, there laid not a trace of hoaxes or lies…
Only irrefutable and undeniable truth…
She continued to smile at him and there continued, "There's no need to prove to me your strength Heat…Because I have just seen the strongest side of you…and nothing could be stronger than that Heat…Nothing…"
At that, she enveloped him within her arms once more, sharing with him her warmth…
Heat sighed and said nothing more, just savoring the feel of her against him…
"Just to hear you say that you love me; that you want to be with me…Means the world to me…" she whispered within his chest.
He smiled a bit. He understood…
"So…" she began as she pulled away, her eyes pleading with his, "no more stunts…? Ne?" she asked gently.
He frowned; he didn't like it but he had no choice. He nodded, "I promise."
She smiled at him and he returned it.
"Heat…?" she said, completely pulling away from him.
"Yea?"
"I'm really sorry if I made you feel bad…" she said, casting her head down once more.
At that, his guilty feelings returned. He brought his hand to her chin and tugged her chin upwards so that their eyes met. And once they did, he smiled languidly, "Hey, what did I say? I said that I should be the one…to apologize…You had cared for me without asking anything in return…I am the one who is…ashamed. My behavior…was not becoming of an Embryon warrior."
She smiled at that, "I'm glad Heat…I'm happy that you understand."
He embraced her again and closed his eyes, sighing.
Oh he understood alright. In more ways than she could imagine. Her actions before him had served as an example. Her words at his room that day had opened his mind…and more importantly, his heart.
He had been cynical.
Yes.
Now that he thought about it, it was then that he realized that she had been correct. Yes. He had. Before, he cursed his weakness…But not anymore.
Why?
Because it wasn't weakness.
The acceptance of one shortcomings and the effort that he did to overcome them was true courage. The will to overcome the self was true strength.
And there, as he held the woman of his affections in his arms, protecting her, he had come to know of the real meaning of strength.
He had been strong enough to overpower his proud and pompous self. Before, there lurked a demon in his head and heart, urging him and plaguing him of thoughts of nothing but physical prowess…and the gaining of her approval.
But he realized now that he needed not do that.
He had already had her approval to begin with. He had always had. He had just been too stubborn and too cynical to understand.
He had mistaken all of her acts and words of kindness and affection as acts and words of malevolence, insult and pity.
Because of his inner demon, he had never come to look beyond and find the true meaning of her acts and words…
Not until fate had forced him to relinquish his tight grasp of the physical prowess that he had held oh so deeply…oh so proudly…
Before, he had thought that there had been a divine hand working against him as his assumptions about his strength had failed one after another and he had caught illness after illness.
Now, he still believed that. But he no longer believed that it was working against him. No. That divine hand was showing him the path. The true path.
It was showing the real meaning of strength…It was showing him humility.
And now, he could say that he had learnt quite a lot.
True strength came from within. It came from the heart and wasn't the result of endless training and endurance tests…It wasn't about having the most number of kills or who the best was with any weapon…
No.
True strength came from the heart.
True strength was the ability of one to see his faults and weaknesses; the ability to embrace such weaknesses…and strive to overcome them.
True strength was the ability to overcome one's self…
True strength was love.
Seeing that silence had pervaded the room, the two looked deeply within the other's eyes. A moment later, they leaned down and closed their eyes…
He kissed her as gently as he could, his arms snaking around her waist, bringing her closer and tighter against him. She moaned against his lips and he couldn't help but groan back in appreciation…
He explored her wet cavern slowly, happily, taking his sweet time to familiarize himself with her. He sailed within her mouth slowly, drinking in every bit of her, caressing her as softly and passionately as he could and all the while seeking out his soul-mate…
Aa…
A moment later, he had found her…
Her…the innocent partner of his dance…
He chuckled as he felt her be hesitant…He would just have to lure her out…won't he?
So…he did just that. He had lured her out…he had seduced her to become his…And a moment later, his perseverance had paid off…
She had joined him in his dance…
Sera clung to him tightly as she found herself kissing him in return; just as passionate, just as eager.
She had begun to feel lightheaded then…The rest of the world seemed to recede and crumble beneath her very feet…And she just didn't care. She was safe within his strong arms…
She was sure of it…
Heat could feel her against him all too well…His body began to heat up and he knew why. Letting him be completely reigned by his instincts and his carnal desire, he slowly backed the petite woman against him towards her bed.
She squealed against him as she tumbled on her bed with him on top of her.
At that moment, she broke the kiss.
His eyes, now veiled thickly with lust, stared at her face absentmindedly, "What is it…?"
"Heat…Erm…you're still sick!"
The world froze.
Was that the sound of glass shattering?
No. It had just been Heat's spirit being crushed.
Him…? Sick…?
He looked at her questioningly and she snorted, "You're still having quite the headache right? And the remnants of your chickenpox?"
The man on top of her pressed himself closer against her and let more of his weight sink on her and pouted, "No fair! I'm fine! Really…!"
She snorted again and pointed to his arm. He followed the accusing finger's trajectory and sweat-dropped, "Oh…right…"
With that realization, Heat abruptly got off of his newfound lover and scratched the back of his head, "Sorry man…Totally forgot…"
Sera rolled her eyes. She knew why.
Men were all the same.
'Pigs…'
She stood and so did he.
"What about Serph?" he asked, serious.
Sera laughed, "What about him?"
"About…the…"
Sera nodded, "Oh! That! Oh Heat! You didn't take him too seriously did you?"
Flashback
"If anyone came near Sera, they'll have to go through me. No one will touch my sister!" Serph vowed resolutely, his silver eyes flashing dangerously.
He said nothing but just crossed his arms.
So, that was how it was eh?
He needed his approval. Well, no worries there. He'd get that approval one day! Just he wait and see! And then, Sera would realize how strong he was…and she'd decide to marry him too!
"Right Heat?" Serph asked.
Drat! He had better say something quick!
"Yea! Besides," he began with a sneer, "who'd come near her? She looks like a boy."
The two laughed, and Serph grinned, "I guess now you know why I always have her hair cut that short."
"Hey! I'm still here!" said a petite female voice.
The two males faced her and saw her anger-filled flustered face. They both sweat-dropped. Oh yeah. They almost forgot about her.
End Flashback
"…" Heat said nothing. What-don't she dare say that he had been wrong about that too!
She laughed as she saw his face. That had been an answer enough, "Heat! That was ten years ago! Hahahah…He was just kidding!"
Heat wouldn't say that. He had heard ugly rumors about the beaten-up cadets at the academy who all happened to be Sera's suitors. He sweat-dropped. Well, regardless, he shouldn't talk bad about Serph. After all, he was Sera's brother and still possessed the approval that he needed. Despite what Sera had said, he knew that he still needed to get the bastard's approval.
"Besides, you told me himself. This is between you and me. No one else is involved. Not Serph…Not the Heat and Sera of the past. Just the Heat and Sera of the present…" she said gently, her hand caressing his cheek affectionately.
He smiled at that, "Thanks…"
"You're welcome…" she trailed off.
Again, the two found one another within each other's arms.
A moment later, he pulled away and grabbed her by her hips, "So, best-friend, can…I kiss you?" he asked, grinning like an evil elf.
She snorted, "I don't think so. You're still ill. It's not advisable…I might catch something from you…"
He pouted at that.
She giggled, "It's nothing personal Heat. It's just that I don't want to get anything remotely resembling those…hives of yours…Those were…erm…"
He glared at her and dared her to continue.
She didn't dare though as she met his gaze with hers.
"Never mind."
He grinned.
"Besides," she giggled, "who'd take care of the nurse when she's ill ne?"
He bared his teeth as his grin widened, "Who else…? I would. I'd feed you…clean up after you…dress you and even bathe you. What do you say?" he asked seductively.
She leaned backwards and chuckled, "Maybe…But not until after you get better."
"But-!"
"No buts! We'll just have to wait until you're better again…And then, when that time comes…we could do whatever you want to do…" she said huskily.
Heat raised an eyebrow; he had never ever heard Sera speak to him in such a manner…
Well…
This might turn out to be fun after all…
He would just have to wait then.
"I'll hold you to that Sera."
xxxxx
A/N:
Mimi-chan, this was my attempt at a Multi-chaptered fic without lemons; something clean.
Hehehe…I suppose I failed in that regard no? Well…This fic is still relatively clean; right? LOL! This is as clean as I can go. Heheheh
Luv ya Mimi-channnn!!!!!!