Sepia Tone
Chapter Two - Pervine and His Dirty Thoughts

It was difficult for me, but I set my alarm to wake me up bright an' early the next mornin'. I promised Quistis I'd meet up with her, and the only time she was free was, like, during breakfast. I ain't hardly ever awake for breakfast. Honestly, I don't got no clue as to what it is she does all day to keep her busy or how she can wake up so early, but I say to each his own!

Before I left I made sure to load up Exeter and get 'er ready for fightin'. After I met up with Quistis, I figured I might go to the trainin' room. I heard Zell usually shows up around there on Sundays, and I figured I might, like, run into him or somethin'. That thought made wakin' up early a lot more pleasant. When I finished with Exeter, I made my way to the cafeteria with long, quick strides.

"You're late," Quistis tersely greeted as I sat next to her in the cafeteria.

"Whaddya mean, I'm late! It's 8 A.M.!" I protested.

"I wish you were here an hour earlier. There are things I need to get to today," she calmly replied as she sipped her coffee.

"Spendin' quality time with Xu today?" I asked with a mischievous grin.

Quistis didn't give me no reply, she just glared at me all angry-like. I don't care what either of them said, I could tell they wanted each other. If I weren't so worried about workin' on a relationship for myself, I'd probably work on settin' those two up. They're real cute together. Selphie thinks so too. Knowin' lil' Sefie, I figured she'd already be at work on those two.

"We're here to talk about Zell," she pointed out. "I'm here to help you with your issues, so can we put mine aside for now? Now, what do you--"

I knew what she was gonna ask. Weren't no reason for her to finish her question, so I just started talkin'. "Zell is, like, head-over-heels infatuated with me."

"Irvine, that is what you think about everybody. Not everybody is enthralled by your 'good looks' and 'charm'," Quistis snapped. She even did the little air quotes.

"Alright, alright! Jeesh, no need to get all snippy 'bout it. So, then, what do you think is up with Zell?"

"I think he's got a pretty bad crush," she replied matter-of-factly.

"Hoo, yeah!" I whooped. "I was right! He wants me!"
"No, I never said he had a crush on you, Irvine!"

I completely ignored her and continued on with my one-man celebration. "Ooooh, you said it yourself! He's got it bad! Ain't no mistakin' it! Even Zell can't resist me!"

Quistis calmly sat with her arms folded, waiting for me to calm down. When I finally sat down again, she asked, "Are you quite finished?"

"Uh, hold up," I replied before giving one last cheer and a yeehaw. "Yeah, now I'm done."

"Irvine, I find your confidence and courage very admirable, but you can't be so sure that it's you he has feelings for," Quistis reasoned.

"Oh, I can tell!"

"I know you want to think that, but promise me you won't do anything stupid," Quistis requested. "At least, don't overwhelm him. You need to spend more time with him to be sure, and if it is you he's fallen for, then he's acting this way for a reason. Give him time to warm up to his own feelings."

"Alright, Dr. Quistis!" I jokingly mocked. She gave me a stern look. "Okay, okay, I'll, like, do what you said. For serious."

Grabbing Exeter, I stood from my seat and briefly waved at Quistis before briskly exiting the cafeteria. It was gonna be a great day. Even if Zell weren't in the tranin' center, it would be great to get a workout for a change. To tell the truth, I hardly went to the training center more than I needed to.

As I got closer to the training center, I noticed four figures standin' near the entrance. When I saw Zell, I was exited to see that he was gonna be trainin' after all, but then I noticed who he was with - Sefier and his posse were harrassin' poor Zell again. Zell's strong; he ain't no chickenwuss like Seifer says. In a fair fight, Zell could take all three o' them, but Seifer's always with Fujin and Raijin, outnumbering Zell. As I got closer, I could hear part of the conversation. Not like ya had to be close to hear, anyways. Zell was pretty darn loud. Of course, Zell didn't want no trouble, and Seifer was completely ignorin' the fact that Zell outranked him. Seifer pushed his gunblade on Zell, really cornerin' him. Of course, I had to get myself involved.

"I believe you were instructed to move. He's a SeeD. As a subordinate, I reckon you should respect his wishes," I politely suggested. Even with Seifer, it's worth a shot to try words first. No need startin' a useless fight.

"Oh yeah, girly boy? You gonna make me?" Seifer retorted as he moved into his battle stance. "Bring it, cowboy. It's two against three. The odds are still against you." Of course, Seifer couldn't just walk away. He's always gotta be startin' a fight, especially with Zell. It was my turn to be tough.

"I wouldn't be so sure. Remember, now, the two of us helped defeat Sorceress Ultemecia. Not to mention, you got your ugly ass kicked around more than once," I reminded him with an arrogant grin. That ought to piss him off real good.

"Ah, you would know all about asses, wouldn't you, Kinneas?" I could feel blood rushing to my face. What did he know, and who told him! "You want me to move? Make me."

Things were gettin' real close to violence. I wasn't about to tolerate none o' that from Seifer. I didn't really wanna advertise the fact that I'm bi; it would totally ruin my ladies' man reputation. Maybe not totally, but it wouldn't be too good for it. I quickly cocked Exeter and fired a warning shot at the ceiling above Seifer's head. I didn't really aim that shot or nothin', but bits of plaster fell from the ceiling onto Seifer's head. That sure got him real angry. He looked real funny when his face turned all red; and if you looked closely, you could see a vein poppin' out.

Raijin was the first one to use his brain. "Uh, Seifer, maybe we should leave, ya know? We're lucky Garden took us back, and we shouldn't push our luck, ya know?" he tried to reason why they should run away with their tails 'tween their legs.

"Whatever," Seifer grumbled. That boy was, like, spending way too much time with Squall for them to be casual friends, if you get what I'm sayin'. "I'll let you off easy this time. Don't think it'll happen again."

It gave me great joy to see them defeated with Seifer's golden hair all speckled with white plaster. Zell probably had a million questions as to what Seifer meant with that one remark, so I figured it would be best to just not give him the chance to ask.

"No need to thank me," I said while giving Zell my prettiest smile. "I know those guys're always givin' ya trouble. It seems like they've got dirt on everyone, doesn't it? It's tough standin' up to them, but someone needs to do it. So, where're you headin' to this bright, shiny mornin'?"

"Just the training center," Zell replied. Nothin' unusual about him so far today. I guess his run-in with the Disciplinary Committee made him forget about any other worries.

"Me too!" I exclaimed, gesturing with Exeter (just in case he missed me firing it). "So, ya wanna partner up with me?"

Of course, Zell couldn't say no. He tried to hide that fact from me, but I could still tell. Zell was, like, tryin' way too hard to act casual. We entered the trainin' center to find it practically deserted. A few Cadets wandered around the front where all the weak monsters were, but me and Zell wanted a challenge, so we headed towards the back.

The monsters really seemed to be shy that day, so we just walked in silence. It was kinda weird, so I decided to break the silence. But what should I say? Usually I'm real good with words an' all, but I guess awkward silence is awkward 'cause no one can think of anythin' good to say. So, I simply commented on the obvious.

"Those monsters sure are hidin' real good today," I said.

"Real well," Zell replied.

"What?" Was that lil' know-it-all correctin' my grammar?

"The monsters are hiding well," he continued. "You need an adverb; "good" is an adjective."

He was correctin' my grammar! I decided to inform him that I thought he was a lil' know-it-all by telling him exactly that, followed by a playful punch to his arm. I expected the conversation to take off from there, but nope. All he did was correct my grammar and that's it. Now, I know Quistis told me not to act on my hunch, but I was so sure I couldn't help myself.

"Hey, Zell, why is it you act all different around me?" I asked.

"I... I do?" he stammered. Aw, hell, how could he not want me? He, like, started gettin' all nervous when I brought up the topic!

"Yeah, you're usually all talkative an' stuff," I explained, "but the second I come around, you freeze all up like a chocobo in the headlights." Just like he was doin' right now. I could tell he was lookin' for an out, but I wasn't about to give him the opportunity to interrupt me, so I went right on to my point. Grinning, I said, "You know what I think? I think you--"

"HEY! Check out that Grat! Let's get it!" he interjected.

Dammit, I thought to myself. Just when I was gettin' to the point. I guess I can wait a little longer.

I ran after Zell, but when I caught up, I didn't see anything. I was beginning to think there was no Grat after all. "Where is it!" I gasped. "I don't see anything!"

We stopped runnin' and Zell replied, "You missed it! It got away."

Just as I was about to express my disbelief, I was whacked real hard on my back, causing me to fall forward into Zell's arms. Oh, Hyne, if only this were under different circumstances, I thought. Yeah, that weren't no time for cuddlin'. I guess that Grat existed after all! Releasing myself from Zell's grasp, I quickly turned around and began backing up as I shot at the Grat. Zell bounced 'round that thing like a pinball, so it was difficult being careful to not shoot him, but I managed just fine.

Eventually, Zell got the lil' bugger's viney limbs all twisted and got outta the way, so I started with my fancy gunslingin'. I got a little carried away and didn't notice that the Grat was smart enough to release sleeping powder. My last thought was, I should have junctioned more sleep spells.

I sat up to find myself on a bed with silky sheets. The room was not familiar, and there were lit candles everywhere. My coat and vest had been removed, and there was nobody else in the room. No, wait... Zell was in the room, and he was walking towards me. What was he doing there? He wasn't wearing a shirt either. In fact, he wasn't wearin' anything at all!

"Zell?" I said as I cocked my head to the side. "What're you--?"

He pushed a finger to my lips, silencing me. His finger slid down to my chest and traced a line down to my belly button and rested on the zipper of my pants. I looked into his bright blue eyes, which had a mischievous gleam. He began to undo my pants, and I sure as hell didn't object. Once they were undone, he pushed me back onto the bed. Pinning me down, he lowered his head and pulled me into a deep kiss as he used his other hand to tug my pants down.

Not only did I give him all the permission he needed, I went along with it. I helped him pull my pants off, and I was the one who first poked my tongue into his mouth. He moaned softly as I ran my hands down his back, over his cute lil' bottom and back up again.

"Irvine!" he gasped and began grinding his erection against mine so intensely, it was as if the bed began to rumble. "Irvine, Irvine!" he began to scream and slapped my face.

"What the-- Zell!" I exclaimed. "Zell! Stop hittin' me!"

Eventually, I realized it was only a very pleasant dream, and I was rudely awakened. Whatever just woke me up was really gonna regret it.

"Whhhaaaaaaaattt?" I angrily grumbled.

"You were asleep! Nothing I did could wake you up," Zell replied.

Oh, right. I was in the trainin' center with Zell and I got knocked out by that Grat's sleepin' gas. No need to get angry at Zell. Still, I really wish he hadn't put an end to that real nice dream, especially in such an unpleasant way.

"Ya couldn't just use an awakening?" I suggested as I stood and brushed some dirt off.

Zell smiled such a purty little smile and said innocently, "I, um, didn't bring any items."

I should have known. Whatever, I figured as I rolled my eyes and said, "Well, don't just sit there! Let's go!"

"About that, Irvine," he chuckled nervously. "I can't walk."

"What!" I exclaimed. I started thinkin' that I might have done something in my sleep that I shouldn't have.

"Yeah! It was hard work fighting that Grat all by myself while you took your little beauty nap! Can't you just cast cure or something?" he suggested.

I felt a wave of relief come over me. So, sleep sex was still as ridiculous as it sounded.

I replied, "Zell, we've traveled together for a long time, right?"

"Right."

"Have you ever known me as the type to use magic?"

"Nope." Correct answer. I overestimated his ability to reason things out quickly; it took him a bit too long to realize what I was getting at. "Oh! No cures, huh?" he finally noted. "Well how about a potion or something?"

Realizing I ain't brought any items either, I began to chuckle at our stupidity. Zell asked what was so funny, and I told him that it was 'cause I forgot too. What I didn't tell him was the other reason I started giggling - I had the perfect image of me carryin' him through Garden to the infirmary. I was actin' just like a giddy school boy, but no one had to know 'bout that.

"Well, it looks like I'm gonna have to carry you, Zell," I announced with a wide grin.

The look on Zell's face was a mixture of shock and eagerness, actually. He seemed a bit nervous about people seeing him being carried. Zell's real short, and he likes to look tough, and havin' a guy carry him 'round certainly don't make him look tough. Honestly, though, I could tell he wanted me to carry him, so I helped lift him to his feet.

"No objections? Don't look so eager, Zell, someone might think you're into me," I teased.

"What! I'm not eager to be carried by you!" he defended "I just don't see any other way to get to the infirmary."

I really wanted to carry him in my arms, but that would just make us both look funny, and I've got a reputation I need to uphold as well. So, I offered him a piggy-back ride "so it'll look more manly," as I put it. I bent down for him to get on my back, secretly wishing it were his backside he were showin' me and I would be the one mounting him, only in a different way. It felt so damn good to have him huggin' me close, with his chin rested on my shoulder! With Zell this close and my little dream earlier... It was an effort not to pop a stiffy right then an' there.

My dirty thoughts were slowin' me down, I guess, 'cause Zell demanded I pick up the pace. Well, he was just kiddin' around, I know, but I really was goin' too slow. Still, I teased him right back.

"Geez, 'your majesty,' you're lucky I don't just drop you right now," I smirked.

He didn't say nothin'. Most of the time, he was pretty quiet, only lettin' out a sigh or two. Damn, he wants me! He wants me, he wants me! I thought to myself. Irvine, ya gotta control yourself. Don't get too eager, now.

"You doin' okay back there?" I finally asked. "You're awful quiet."

I could tell I yonked Zell out of some daydream. "Yeah!" he jerkily replied. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just spaced out for a bit."

I started wonderin' what he could have been daydreamin' about. Maybe he was thinkin' 'bout something not too different from my dream. I couldn't help but grin at the thought of that. Good thing Zell couldn't see. A couple of female Cadets did, though, and thought I was smilin' at them, so they waved at me, and I waved back. Good thing Zell was in his own little world. A world I'm gonna be a part of some day, I thought.

We eventually got to the infirmary. Honestly, Zell began to feel like a real heavy load. You know how that is, the longer ya carry something the heavier it feels? Yeah. And Zell's got all that muscle, which makes him even heavier. I'll bet he's heavier than me. Mmm... Zell's muscles... No! I couldn't get sidetracked.

"Alright, we're here! While you're here, you might want Dr. Kadowaki to check your head too," I suggested.

"What's that supposed to mean!" Zell replied defensively.

"Somethin's up, Zell. I can tell. I ain't no psychologist, but there's definitely something wrong with the way you been' actin' lately. I'm worried 'bout ya, man," I explained.

Zell smiled warmly at me and assured me, "I told you before, Irvy, everything's alright."

He just called me Irvy. Don't nobody call me Irvy but all my flirty "fangirls." If there was any doubt before that Zell wanted me, it was totally gone now.

"Irvy?" I raised an eyebrow at him. Oh, Hyne, was I gonna love hearin' his explanation for this one.

Well, I would have, but Dr. Kadowaki just had to come in, giving Zell an excuse to forget it ever happened.

"Oh, dear, what is it this time, Zell?" she sighed.

"Sprained my ankle fighting a Grat," he replied matter-of-factly.

"Ah, the great Zell Dincht, one of the few who took on Sorceress Ultimecia, is defeated by a Grat," Dr. Kadowaki chuckled. I couldn't help but chuckle as well, although I was put down by it too, but nobody had to know 'bout that.

Dr. Kadowaki did her doctor business, which just looked like probin' at the ankle, causing Zell to squeal a couple times. Of course, that led me to thinkin' dirty thoughts about probin' Zell and makin' him squeal. Damn, I was gonna need a cold shower.

Finally, Dr. Kadowaki gave her verdict. "Well, I'll give you an ankle brace to wear. Obviously, you need to get back to your dorm, so hopefully Mr. Kinneas here will be so kind as to assist you. Other than that, you must stay off that foot for a week. Then, come back and see me, and I'll see if we can get rid of that ankle brace."

Zell honestly looked distressed as he asked, "But how am I gonna perform necessary functions, like taking a shower or going to the cafeteria to eat hot dogs!"

I saw this as the perfect opportunity to get closer to Zell. He'd be unable to go anywhere, and dependent on somebody to help him do the stuff he'd need to do. So, I decided that somebody could be me.

"Don't worry 'bout it. I got ya covered," I volunteered.

He wanted to smile, he really did. I could tell. Either that, or he was seriously constipated. Man, Zell really sucks at containing his excitement. That's one of the things I love 'bout him, though. It makes him, like, so irresistable! Zell may not know it yet, but because of that bad ankle, everything's gonna start lookin' real bright an' shiny.