The Commencement Ball
Chapter 4
All of the work and all of the preparation meant almost nothing with what had yet to come. The hatred and the grudges left over from the conflict remained to be secured. The treaty stood as a way to move on those issues. Surely with all that had been done, moving on would be the best thing for them, but emotions were strong and passions were charged. There was much more work to do for everyone. One person amidst them all was seen as one barrier to overcome in order for the dance to be successful. She was almost symbolic in this way.
The dance was indeed near and the eagerness and anticipation felt sour in their mouths. An enemy was to be made a friend and many of them were not comfortable with this. To top it off, Yayoi arrived with a face not seen in the school for a long time. The face had thought her self forgotten.
She was afraid. Miya had lost everything and felt like a total stranger to everyone. Lilie and Shiho stood and smiled as she drew closer. Nao had been reading a book on a nearby bench. She took note of the atmosphere and decided to investigate. A slight grin grew on her face. Things were getting interesting after all.
Miya looked up from behind her ragged hair and recognized her upperclassmen one by one. She was welcomed here. She was not forgotten. Her clothes were tattered and torn as they were mostly bought or borrowed from a homeless shelter in her city. It had only been a few months time, but being here again felt like she'd been gone for years.
"Miya-san!" Yayoi took her hand and pulled her forward. "It's Shiho-onee-san! And Nao-onee-san! She's a Pillar now!" Yayoi's smile was burning into Miya's depression. She started to cry. They didn't care about how she looked, she was home again.
A single thought lingered in her mind and fed on her resolve. Dread was one emotion she had gotten to know lately, but it was not the emotion that made her afraid.
--
Natsuki had been avoiding Shizuru all day as she didn't need any further distractions. She would make the day count so the Commencement Ball would be a success.
Shizuru had to talk to her despite knowing this, "Natsuki," She walked up beside her. Natsuki had a folder in hand and had been talking with the workers. She was finishing up some of the last preparations and procedures. Things were coming together fairly well. She knew the dance would be great, but it was the people at it she was worried about. Not just the fiancée either.
"Yes?" she turned to her and welcomed the familiar voice. She almost regretted avoiding her. Despite this, Natsuki was in a good mood. Shizuru took note of that, but she still had to tell her the news.
"Miss Marguerite has nearly finished her treatment. She may be able to go to the dance."
Natsuki took the words in and slowly turned to the worker. "Please get what you can handle done. I will return in an hour."
"Yes, Ma'am." He responded. She smiled and walked with Shizuru to the side doors of the hall.
--
Outside in the courtyard, Natsuki sat down upon a bench and Shizuru gladly sat next to her. "I know we haven't talked about her much." Natsuki started.
"On and off. It is a page to close."
"Yes…" Natsuki rubbed her chin with a back of a finger. She spoke frankly, "She isn't someone that can be ignored. Apparently isn't someone that can be killed easily either."
"Natsuki." Shizuru cautioned.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't."
Shizuru leaned back on the bench and put an arm around her friend. "We must forgive her and each other."
"I know. I will, just not yet."
"You will tonight."
"Tonight."
"One more thing."
Natsuki turned to her and saw the deep concern in her eyes. "Clochette-san is here."
--
"I WILL NOT!" Miya screamed. Tears fell from her face as her rage poured into other emotions. Her whole body was trembling.
Shiho cowered under the verbal assault. Nao grabbed Miya by the collar and pulled her close. "Miya-san, listen to me." She did not appreciate the reaction and held her own anger below the surface. Just barely.
Miya wanted to pull away. She wasn't an Otome anymore. She had no allegiance, no responsibility here or to anyone.
The words were bitter and clearly spoken. "You are an Otome now whether you like it or not. The principal has only to file the papers. I have it under good authority that she is thrilled to do this for you."
Miya trembled a bit less now, but her heart was racing. She lost her self into her sempai's stern green eyes.
"Your life fell to shit, right? Now tell me, are you willing to leave it like that? Or will you stay here? Answer me." Nao dropped her and crossed her arms over her chest. She waited for Miya to compose her self.
"I…I can't forgive her." Miya cried. She fell to her knees.
Nao frowned and grabbed her by the shoulders. Shiho grabbed her wrist and Nao glared at her. Shiho stared; she would not relent even if Nao outranked her. Nao sighed and let go. She walked across the room and fell onto a chair.
They both silently wished Akane or Chie were here. The Trios was all but disbanded now.
"Miya." Yayoi took her into her arms and allowed her to cry on her shoulder. "It's ok." She patted her back.
"I can't do it!"
"Miya, it's not your fault."
"It is! I let her abuse me. I was nothing to her!"
"You don't have to like her, Miya. You just need to forgive her. Get rid of all this anxiety and pain. It's for you, not just her. It's for all of us to move on."
"No… it's not that easy." Miya thought hard about the feelings and thoughts that ran to the beat of her heart.
"Miya, you want to be an Otome, yes?" Yayoi asked.
"I do."
"We will go there tonight."
"…"
"After a makeover and a new change of clothes!" Yayoi pulled her away so she could see her face. The energetic smile actually made Miya laugh a bit. "You'll be better than before! Miya 2.0!"
Now she laughed.
--
That night Shizuru and Natsuki met up with Shiho and Nao on the main hospital stairs. "Good to see you again." Shizuru smiled. Natsuki looked at the doors as she collected her thoughts and feelings.
Nao was blunt as usual, "What'd that wench do anyways?"
"Wench?" Shizuru asked simply.
Nao, annoyed, chastised her a bit. "Marguerite-san, that wench, you know." Natsuki broke from her reverie at the harshness directed at her friend.
"We are to forgive her and be forgiven. These were the terms." Shizuru reminded her.
"Yes, yes." Nao sighed.
Shiho thought to rephrase the question, "What did she do?"
Shizuru knew she couldn't avoid it now. "Come inside." She took Natsuki's arm and they made their way to the lounge.
--
"She was obsessed with me, a love too strong to understand what love was." Shizuru's voice was sullen and self reflective. Natsuki took her hand and held it. She knew Shizuru's weaknesses more than anyone.
"What? You have sex or something?" Nao asked. Shizuru's eyes softened some.
"No!" Natsuki shouted.
"I'll get drinks!" Shiho escaped.
"What? What I say?" Nao retorted.
Shizuru squeezed her hand and cleared her throat. "We did not have sex, not exactly. She… had a fetish… playing the part of a baby. She did not see me as a lover."
"A fetish?" Nao was interested. "Really? Go on."
Natsuki saw people walk in behind them and shushed the conversation. She stood up and walked over to greet them. Shizuru and Nao remained.
"Clochette-san, you are looking great!" Natsuki smiled.
"Th..Thank you, Principle-san." She really was a new person. Even a bit of makeup. Pending some tests, she might even make Trios. This is what Natsuki thought.
"We're seated nearby, this way." Natsuki walked back and returned to her seat. Yayoi, Lilie, and Miya all took to seats near them.
Shizuru saw the pain in her eyes and had to smile, "Miya-san?"
"Yes, Shizuru-onee-san?"
"I'd like it very much if we could chat in private."
"I'd like that too."
--
They walked down the hall together some distance away. Secretly, Shizuru had taken the long way to Tomoe's room. Miya knew this was possible, but decided not to make an issue of it.
"Miya-san, Marguerite-san is a troubled child."
"I can't forgive her for what she did to me."
"What is it she did to you?" Shizuru asked this knowing the story from various sources. It would be good to hear it from her.
"She… She had me take Arika-chan's uniform. She… had me do so many vile things to Arika and others. To anyone who stood in her way."
"Mm."
"She… wrote my parents…I was forced to return home…I was disowned!"
"I understand." They turned a corner.
"Understand? How?"
"She used people. With me, she wished to be used."
"What do you mean?"
"When she joined Altai's forces; she became my jailer."
"She…" Miya blinked.
"She had me act as her mother. I told her stories, rocked her to sleep, changed her, and bathed her. I played with her like a child."
Miya was stunned. "I don't believe it."
"I waited in the cell for my chance to escape. I waited for Natsuki to save me."
Miya watches her eyes and thought about those words.
"She's not a demon, Miya-san, she is a student of this school and she needs love like we all do."
"I… can't promise you."
"That is fine." Shizuru read her gaze into the hallway in front of them. Deep in thought, but it was more about how she felt than thought. She knew that gaze well.
She'd had it herself when she was younger.
--
Laying there with beeps and hums, the clean, empty ceiling was her only friend. She slept for so long; her body couldn't feel anything more than zombie-like. It was surely in her head, but with all this time gone by, she had a lot of things in there with it.
She wanted to pay them back, all of them, but with all the power she had; she only wanted more. Wanting was something she did a lot of and having nothing these past few months but her life left her with only sorrow. She felt empty.
She didn't know these feelings and didn't know what they meant. She wondered if she even deserved to be alive.
Maybe it was regret.
--
Shizuru stopped outside the door. Natsuki was waiting and Nao, drink in hand, was not far behind. Shiho was fuming over something unsaid. "Shall we?" Shizuru asked.
"Not… just yet." Miya shied away from the door.
Natsuki grabbed the door, "I'll go."
--
Shizuru calmly nodded and watched the door close. She leaned against the wall there and sighed. Nao gave her an eye and looked away. Shiho was too annoyed to notice. Miya had watched the scene quite intently and wondered what to make of it.
Shizuru opened her eyes as her thoughts faded. To be frank, she had doubts about what was happening. Natsuki surely despised the fiancée because she wanted to make her own choice. If Natsuki would open up to her, she'd gladly accept it, but lately she'd had gotten more and more shy. She was reminding her of what she was so long ago.
She liked that, but it also hurt her a bit. Was she ready? Was she imagining things? All these years and so much had gone on between them. So many more stories could be told.
She smiled at Miya, but it didn't dissuade her intent any. Miya kept her question to herself, surely she was just thinking about Tomoe.
--
Inside, Tomoe lay silent on the bed. She was still hooked up to the machine covered by a single white linen blanket. She watched the guest from the corner of her eye.
"Principal." She tried to speak.
"Take it easy, Marguerite-san." Natsuki sat beside the bed. "I've much to talk to you about."
"I understand."
"Do you love Viola-san?"
"Love?" she looked to the ceiling, "Yes."
Natsuki cringed. "I'd like you to understand me clearly. I love Shizuru."
Tomoe turned her head sharply and saw the look on her face. She smirked and started to laugh. "Yes, of course." the laughter made Natsuki pop a vein, but she restrained herself.
"You let your anger blind you. I'd have you thrown in jail under different circumstances."
"…" jail was one thing she knew was possible.
"The treaty that ended the conflict declared all combatants, non-combatants, and victims to forgive and be forgiven. Well, some were arrested and tried." Natsuki turned her head t the side a bit. She swallowed and looked back at the girl. "If you wish to be reinstated as an Otome and be pardoned; these are the conditions."
"Send Viola-san in."
"Not yet."
"…"
"I have a favor to ask of you."
"To avoid Viola-san?" she smirked a little bit. She was laughing at herself.
"No, not entirely." Natsuki blinked. "It's something else."
--
Natsuki closed the door behind her and looked to Shizuru, "She wants to see you."
"Yes." Shizuru walked inside and closed the door.
--
"Shiz…"
"Viola-san, please." Shizuru corrected.
Tomoe swallowed, but her smile remained. "I… I think I understand things a bit better now."
"That is good to hear, but I do not think it is enough."
"Sh..Viola-san?"
"I do not find it so hard to forgive you as others. I did not take your actions too far into my heart as Natsuki and Clochette-san. Arika forgave everyone without much effort at all. She's a cute kid."
"Arika…" Tomoe groaned. "Tell me, how do I move on from here?"
"Stand and walk. Cry if you must. You must find the path that's yours. It is not mine to give."
The door opened. Miya walked in. She had heard what Tomoe had said and how she sounded. She thought she could do it after all.
"Miya-san?" Tomoe was astonished to see her face again. She was… pretty.
"Tomoe-san, you are a heartless, selfish bitch."
"…" Tomoe looked away. Shizuru raised an eyebrow to her words.
"I … I almost did not come here."
"Why did you then?" she glared back.
Miya took a step away, but she stayed, "I did everything you wanted of me because… I loved you."
Tomoe's eyes softened a bit. Such words she didn't understand.
"If forgiving you will help you heal, then, I forgive you, but if you cannot heal." She wiped her eyes. "I will learn to love another and be the best Otome I can be not for you, but for myself."
Tomoe stared for a long time as her emotions welled. Often she had wanted to fall deeper into her madness and her new found sorrow, but to be allowed a bit of happiness, no, that was not something so easily obtained. What she had here was a bit of acceptance.
That was not something she could have ever hoped for after all she had done. She didn't know how long it'd last or if she deserved it or not, but to have it. It made her happy.
Miya glanced over at the silent girl on the bed. She saw a tear fall from her eye. She lost it.
--
"What the hell is going on in there?" Nao shouted. Shizuru walked out wiping her own eyes with a finger.
"Shizuru?" Natsuki looked on from the wall on the other side of the hallway.
"Beautiful." Shizuru said softly. Sounds of crying could be heard through the door.
"For crying out loud." Nao kicked the wall. Shiho put a couple fingers to her mouth and giggled. Natsuki had to smile.