7. Humanity

Slowly, very slowly and carefully Gabrielle opened her eyes. She blinked a few times against the to her too bright lights and was cruelly welcomed back into the world with a head ache that made her wonder if someone had tried to split her skull open.

'Ah, you're awake, I see.', a voice said.

Gaby groaned softly and suddenly could very much imagine how her mother felt when she was suffering from migraine again; every little sound was too much. Curiosity won, however, and she looked up to see who was the causer of this fairly unpleasant situation. She stared right into the eyes of, Lindsey McDonald. Gabrielle had met him once or twice, when she was little and the nanny had been ill or out of town. Lilah had been forced to take her daughter to important meetings she couldn't cancel, with people that included colleagues from foreign Wolfram & Hart branches. Lindsey included.

Gabrielle had only been six or seven years old, so still a little girl, but she remembered this man clearly. Apparently he had made an impression on her. Possibly because he hadn't just ignored her like the other important men and women over there.

Despite the terrible head ache, Gabrielle could remember that much...

2009, July 12th, Wolfram & Hart, New York

It was a sunny after noon and 6-year old Gaby could think of at least a 1000 more exciting things to do than be in this boring building with mommy. Speaking of, mommy was trying to get the secretary to baby-sit. Okay, she was actually manipulating her to do so, but Gaby was used to that.

'I'm not asking you to kill someone, I'm asking you to watch her for a few hours! How hard can it be? She's 6 years old, potty-trained and not under the influence of a sugar rush! If you don't do it I'll have them fire you, chop you into tiny pieces and send those to whoever is responsible for Wolfram & Hart not having a day care centre.', Mommy Dearest spoke.

'Haven't changed a bit, I see.', someone from behind them said.

Lilah left the frightened young secretary alone, for now, and turned around. 'Well well. Lindsey McDonald. Still alive, are you?' The two lawyers hadn't seen each other in a few years, and Lilah had missed him like she would miss... sleeping pills. She hated sleeping pills, but sometimes you just needed some.

'Very alive, and planning to keep it that way for a while. And you, must be little Gabrielle.', Lindsey said, turning to the little girl with the dark brown ponytail. Gaby nodded timidly. She wasn't too fond of strangers, but this man seemed all right though.

'Leave her alone.', Lilah snapped.

'Missed you too, Lilah.', Lindsey said wit ha wink toward Gabrielle. He ignored Lilah further on and kneeled next to the little girl. 'You know what? I was kind of hoping to see you here today.'

Gaby's eyes widened. 'Really?'.

Lindsey nodded, reached in his pocket and offered her a yummy-looking lollipop. Gaby's eyes widened even more, if possible, and she glanced up to her mommy to see if it was okay to take this delicious gift from the kind stranger. Lilah shook her head and handed her daughter to the secretary. 'Never take candy from strangers.', she told her before walking away and entering the conference room with Lindsey.

'Pity.', Gaby thought as she was put on the floor with her favourite Barbie doll she called Amy. 'If my daddy wouldn't be dead he could have been him'.

Present

'Lindsey. I'm guessing you didn't bring me a lollipop this time, now did you?', Gabrielle asked him.

'Sorry to disappoint you, princess. I figured you'd have grown past the candy-phase now'.

'Yea, I did. And if I hadn't I sure wouldn't take it from you. So, you kidnapped me?', she inquired, tired of still not knowing what the hell was going on.

'Not personally. I have guards for that.', Lindsey explained. He poured two glasses of Scotch and handed her one. She shook her head. 'I don't usually drink after being recently overdosed with Chloroform: now get down to business. Why am I here, and what do you want from me?'.

'Don't flatter yourself. You're not here for you. You're just here so we can.. stimulate your mother to make the right decision.'

Gabrielle rolled her eyes. 'Great, so this is about my beloved mother again. ' Why was everything always about Lilah? Even Gaby's possible death had to do with her! 'And what decision do you mean?'.

'You don't know? We heard how good she's doing in New York, and realised we could use that success over here. We offered her a job.', Lindsey told her.

'A job! So she's staying here. Then why that fuss about wanting me to choose between New York and Los Angeles?', Gaby wondered aloud.

'She refused.'

'She "refused"! Why?'. She thought she knew her mother, but apparently there was more than meets the eye about Lilah.

'I can't tell you that, but I can tell you that here at Wolfram & Hart we don't easily accept no. Not from anybody. Especially not when we really want something, or someone.', he said.

'Hmm, so you kidnap me, and threaten to kill me if mom won't take the job?'.

'That pretty much sums it up.', Lindsey nodded. 'Except we don't just "threaten" to kill you. We really don't have any trouble doing so.', he continued coldly. A shiver ran down Gabrielle's back . How much she hated it here, she really wouldn't like to end her life like this. There was a lot she still wanted to do! Like, have a boyfriend and see the look on her mother's face when she introduced him and he turned out to be a skinhead, or a hardcore rock star. Yea, that would be the definition of humour.

'I'm not afraid of you.', she then said, and probably meant it too. She couldn't care less about Lindsey, it was death she was afraid of.

'If you look the slightest bit like your parents you probably aren't, no.', Lindsey said, sipping from his drink. He quite liked the girl, she reminded him of Lilah, and he had always found her rather amusing.

'You're not a very good kidnapper, are you?', Gabrielle interrupted his thoughts about past memories of the time he and Lilah were still partners. He raised an eyebrow. 'Excuse me?'.

'I said, kidnapping doesn't appear to be your greatest talent. And if it is, you suck. I mean, I'm not even tied up and you just let me sit here in your office with you! You even offered me a drink! Any other criminal would laugh at you.'

Lindsey smiled, still just as calm as usual. 'I have my own methods, darling. '

'Like?'.

'Like Charlie. He's waiting right outside my office, carrying a gun, ready to shoot as soon as I tell him to, or just hint him to do so. So, if I were you, princess, I'd make sure I wouldn't make any sudden movements that he might interpret to be a hint.'

Gabrielle swallowed, she knew better than to doubt the words of a Wolfram& Hart employee. Much better. Before she had a chance, though, to make a witty comment on what Lindsey had just said, the doors flew open and Gaby could already picture herself laying on the floor with a bullet through her head. Although the person who stormed in looked nothing like Charlie.

'Mom!', Gaby exclaimed and rose from her chair for the first time. Unfortunately, her head didn't seem to approve of this sudden use of kinetic energy, and a sharp pain knocked her right back into her seat. 'Ouch.', she murmured.

'Gabrielle! What did you do to her, you... you...', Lilah looked for the right name-calling-word that would describe Lindsey, but she couldn't find anything suitable, so just shouted the first word that popped up in her head. 'Country boy!'.

Lindsey laughed loudly. 'Country boy, Lilah? Can't come up with anything better, can you?'.

Their almost-conversation was disturbed by Wesley running in, slightly out of breath. His eye caught Gaby, still in pain, and he hurried over to her. 'Are you all right?', he inquired, and turned to Lindsey as she nodded. Lilah had explained the situation to him in the car, and he'd been quite angry for letting her get "their" daughter involved. But then, he reminded himself it was Wolfram& Hart,. They could do anything, so he decided not to blame Lilah for it. At least not fully. 'Let her go.', he demanded.

Lindsey wasn't much affected by Wesley's serious face though, and had called Charlie in in the mean time.

Lilah rolled her eyes at Lindsey. 'You really think you've got it all covered, don't you? An important job, dream-salary, power. You think you've got it in you to manipulate people and your conscience doesn't matter. You think everything is about you, as well as this. You know what, Lindsey? I'll take the job. But let me tell you something new: not for you, or because I'm scared of your empty threats. For her.'. Lilah paused, feeling very much as if she'd just crossed a personal line, so she continued more casually. 'So when do I start?'.

Lindsey smiled and sent a disappointed Charlie out. 'Gee, Lilah, and then you say 'I ' have gone soft? You start Monday morning. Make sure you're on time.'

'Have I ever been late?', she replied, walking over to Gabrielle and helping her up with Wesley's help. Lilah wasn't sure why she had said the things she had just said, it just wasn't like her to show that much of herself. It was probably the fear of something happening to her daughter. It made her realise that it didn't matter whether she was evil in Los Angeles or in New York. If this meant Gaby would live and be okay, then fine, she would face some awkward moments with Wesley. As long as her child was safe... 'I really have turned into a softy..', Lilah thought.

Gabrielle leaned on her parents ,she still felt pretty weak and dizzy in her head. Possibly a combination of the aftermath of the chloroform, and fear.

'Let's just get us out of here.', Wesley said, lifting Gaby up in his arms to speed things up. He headed outside, followed by Lilah. He was very much aware that things could have ended a lot worse for them, but that didn't change the anger toward Lilah that he couldn't seem to get rid of. The passive agressiva.

'So this was all about your job...', he said. He felt the desperate urge to hit her for putting Gabrielle in danger, but he didn't. Of course he didn't. Wesley had learnt to control himself through the years, and so he staid calm and positioned his daughter in the back of the car.

All that had happened had tired her out; fighting with her parents, running away and getting lost, being kidnapped, fear.. She was half asleep at this point and hardly heard the things her parents were about to say.

'I never meant to put her in danger.', Lilah got in the passengers seat and couldn't help but feel slightly guilty at this point.

'But you did.', Wesley fastened his seatbelt and drove off into the dark night. He interpreted her silence wrongly, his anger increased some more. 'Does it really do nothing to you, Lilah?'.

She turned her head away from him, pretending to look outside the window, but in reality trying to keep him from seeing her tears. Lilah hated tears, but she couldn't help it. Almost something bad had happened to Gabrielle, her only child, and apparently that had touched a sweet spot. A human spot. Possibly the only human spot she had left.

Wesley glanced at her to see why she wasn't replying. He watched her reflection through the looking glass, and he could see she was crying. He sighed, not sure what to do next. He knew it hadn't really been her fault, he'd just been looking for a scapegoat. Somewhere inside he was glad to see her crying, it showed the real Lilah was still in there, whoever she was. Wesley wondered if he should comfort her in any way, though he could imagine her not being comfortable with that, yet he didn't want her to look so... lonely.

'Lilah..', he softly said and placed a gentle hand on her knee. Much to his surprise, she didn't withdraw immediately, and also didn't start making loads of silly excuses that would explain her humanity.

'So.. you're staying in LA for a bit longer, then.', he tried to make some ordinary conversation.

Lilah just nodded.

'Have you got a place to stay?', he asked. He'd asked it before, with unfortunate outcome, but felt he would get a real, honest answer now.

She slowly shook her head, and then was quiet for a long time, before finally saying: 'Are you offering?'.

Wesley slightly smiled. 'Well, I happen to have a rather comfortable sofa, and a guest room for our daughter. How would you like that?'.

A little smile curled around Lilah's lips, just a little smile. 'That sounds good. What do you think, Gabrielle?'. Both adults turned around to face their daughter, only to find she had fallen asleep. Wesley and Lilah smiled at each other and spent the rest of the ride in silence.

'You can pick up your stuff from the hotel tomorrow.', he said as he parked the vehicle by his apartment.

'Yea.', Lilah nodded and waited till Wesley had lifted Gaby into his arms again, and headed to the front door. She opened the door for him and closed it as all three of them were inside. 'It's just till I find something for myself..', Lilah said, trying to reassure herself more than Wesley. Wesley walked into the guest room and placed Gaby on the bed carefully. 'Of course.', he nodded.

Lilah walked over to the bed and took off Gaby's high heels. 'Doesn't sleep that easily with stilettos on.', she explained, and then did something she had never done before; she tucked her daughter in, much to Wesley's, and her own, surprise. After that, they quietly left the room.

'Well, if you didn't hate me before, you sure do now.', she said.

'I thought I'd made clear before that I didn't hate you. And I was quite angry with you first, if you must know, but at this moment I'm actually rather proud of you.', Wesley assured her as he handed her a few blankets and a pillow to make up her bed on the sofa. She took them and placed them on the sofa, that indeed looked quite comfortable. 'Proud? Gee, thank you so much.', she said with a sarcastic laugh.

He rolled his eyes. 'You get what I mean.'

She sat down on the sofa and nodded. 'Yea. I get that. '

Wesley watched her for a moment. 'Do you need anything else, perhaps?'.

'No, but thanks. '. She felt cold, and alone. No one had ever told her feeling like this was a consequence of being a vicious bitch. She felt the urge to walk up to Wesley and kiss him. Simply to feel warm again, but of course she didn't. Because that, would be inappropriate. Even for her.

'All right.' As Wesley continued to look at her a bit longer, he remembered something he'd once read but never quite understood until now.: 'Look at people closely and you'll discover their humanity.'. He'd probably never looked at Lilah long enough before.

'Good night, Lilah.'.

'Good night, Wesley.'