10. A Beautiful Lie
Lilah woke up first, a glance at the alarm clock learned her it was 10 o'clock already. She was supposed to be at work hours ago! Lilah sat up, and suddenly remembered what had happened the previous night. She clutched the blanket and pulled it tighter around herself as she looked down on the still sleeping Wesley. Would he kick her out, just as he used to do? Or wouldn't he? Lilah laid back down, she was late for work now anyway. A few more minutes wouldn't matter now.
Why did she want to be here? What did she really feel for Wesley? No. She wasn't supposed to be feeling this. The only reason they had slept together was because they'd been drunk. Both of them.
'Fred?', Wesley said, stirring, but not opening his eyes yet. Lilah swallowed, so he still had a crush on the science-twig. Not too much of a surprise, but still, kind of awkward.
'Sorry to disappoint you.', she said, turning on her side so Wesley faced just her back, and wouldn't see the hurt expression in her eyes. Wesley opened his eyes, and was immediately fully awake by her remark.
'Lilah.' His voice was soft. Guilty. He knew her well enough now to know that he had hurt her, even though she wouldn't show it. Lilah sat up and threw the blankets off her. 'I have to go. I'm late for work.', she said, putting on a skirt and blouse, a cold, steel expression on her face now.
'I'm sorry, Lilah. I didn't mean to hurt you…'
'Hurt me?', she laughed, and any ordinary person would believe it was a genuine laugh, though anyone who would really listen might be able to hear the desperate undertone.
Wesley listened.
'O, please, Wesley. If it was that easy to hurt me I wouldn't be standing here today. No, really, we should just forget this ever happened.', Lilah said. She put on her high heels and walked off, brushing her loose brown curls over her shoulder as she did so.
Wesley staid behind, feeling bad. But about what, exactly? About his father? About Lilah? Fred? Or all of them? Probably the latter. At least he didn't have to feel bad about Gabrielle. He decided to put away his "broody" thoughts for now, and went to the living room for a much needed cup of coffee. Might help with his hangover, too.
'What was that all about ', Gabrielle asked as she saw her father emerging from the bedroom. She'd been up for some time now, and was watching As the World Turns on tv. Not like there was anything else to watch, besides the morning news that was repeated for the fourth time that morning.
'Shouldn't you be at school right now?', Wesley inquired, surprised to see her still at home.
'I overslept. And then there was no one to take me to school, so I went to wake you up, but saw you and mom. Together. In bed..', she replied with a grin. Of course, she wasn't exactly a normal girl when it concerned certain things, but she was when it came to her parents. Just like every other child with divorced or separated parents she silently hoped they would once get together again. And, to Gaby it seemed like this had happened now.
'So I didn't want to wake you up.', she continued.
Wesley remained quiet for a while, considering how to deal with this. 'I don't think you…'
'So you don't deny it! ', Gaby squealed. She hadn't felt this thrilled in a very long time.
'You're mother and I… we spent a night together, yes.', Wesley admitted. He thought of how to continue, he had noticed how thrilled his daughter was, and he just couldn't bring himself to break her heart, he just couldn't.
Gabrielle noticed his hesitation, but didn't want to see it now, she just wanted to believe in this lie for now. It was a beautiful lie. She was just a person, after all. Persons are blind for beautiful lies sometimes, even people like Gabrielle.
'I knew it! Yes! I love you both so much! ', she gave her father a big hug and a kiss on both his cheeks. 'I'll take a cab to school!', she exclaimed happily, and ran out, before Wesley had the time to say anything else. He sat down on the couch after she'd left, feeling even more guilty now. He realised he still had a lot to learn as a father. He got up and entered the kitchen. He really needed that coffee now.
A rough 30 minutes later Gabrielle arrived on school. At least 2 hours late, but better late than never. Nothing could ruin her good mood, no matter what the consequences were of her being too late. After the bell had rang, Gaby met Stephanie at her locker.
'You're late.', she said. It wasn't an accusing comment, just a fact.
'I am. I overslept.', Gabrielle said, not completely lying. It just wasn't the whole truth. She didn't like to tell only half of the truth, but she wasn't sure yet just how well she could trust Stephanie, she didn't know her long enough for it. And besides, she probably wouldn't understand the complicated stuff in their family, anyway.
'Can happen. Good thing you have me.', Stephanie said wit ha grin. 'I covered for you. Said you went to the dentist.', she added.
Gabrielle smiled widely. 'Really! Thanks, I owe you!' This day only seemed to get better and better.
'You sure do! ' Both girls laughed and quickly collected their books as the bell for the next lesson rang.
'Time for a science test.', Gabrielle sighed. It was her least favourite subject.. Besides gym class, obviously.
'Oh shit. I totally forgot! ', Stephanie cursed under her breath.
'Don't worry.', Gaby soothed her. 'I owe you, remember?'
Wesley could think of a hundred, if not a thousand places he would rather be than where he was right now. Wolfram and Hart. But, he had made a mistake this morning by letting Gabrielle draw the wrong conclusion, and now he had to make it right. With Lilah's help, if possible. And if not, he just found she had to know. She was Gabrielle's mother, after all.
He stepped into the elevator and tried not to look like someone who was pretty much helpless. He walked out of the elevator as it stopped, and headed for Lilah's office on the fourth floor. Wesley knocked shortly and entered without waiting for a reply. Lilah and Lindsey were busy discussing some case with a client who seemed to be on the edge of a breakdown, and they hardly noticed Wesley at the door.
'Lilah, a moment please?'
'Wesley. ', she looked up surprised. 'We're kind of in the middle of something here.'
'It's all right, we're almost finished here anyway. Go take care of your love-issues.', Lindsey assured her wit ha grin. Lilah shot him a glare and left for a n empty office with Wesley.
'What do you want, I'm working.'
'Interesting case?', Wesley inquired, putting of the actual raison d'être.
'Divorce case. Regular. We do those sometimes, to keep up a good reputation on all fronts. Of course the man is a multimillionaire. '
'Of course.', Wesley agreed, not having expected anything else from her.
'But you're not here for the small talk.', she said, meanwhile sorting out some papers about the case she'd been working on.
'No. You're right, I'm not. ', Wesley admitted. 'This is about Gabrielle.'
'What about her? Is she all right?' Wesley couldn't help but notice the concern in Lilah's voice. She might have changed after all. A few months back she wouldn't have showed her feelings, not even if it were small feelings like concern. He silently hoped he'd be able to help her show some more of her humanity soon. Very soon.
'She's all right.. but.. she saw us together, this morning.'
'Oh.. did it upset her?', Lilah asked. Gabrielle had never been supposed to see her! Lilah put the papers down and turned her full attention to Wesley.
'Quite the opposite, to be honest. She might have… misunderstood.'
'Misunderstood? In what way, exactly?', she asked suspiciously. She was starting to suspect something was up here.
'In a way that she thinks you and I are now.. together.'
'Together? As in a couple?', Lilah arched an eyebrow. 'Well that's just… interesting. But of course you did what you had to and set it right immediately… right?'
Wesley was starting to feel pretty awkward right now. 'I didn't want to hurt her..', he muttered, pretending to be fairly interested in a certain spot on the floor.
'Right, you didn't want to hurt her. Now, imagine how not-amused she'll be once 'you' tell her we're just as not-together as before the little one-night stand.', Lilah said, not intending to get too much involved in this.
'Well.. You see, that's the point. I thought… perhaps we could.. leave her in this state of happiness for a while.'
'You mean you want to lie to her so you won't have to admit you made a mistake.', Lilah stated, shaking her head lightly at the idea.
'I wouldn't call it that..', Wesley said, hesitant. He knew this was wrong, it felt wrong, everything was wrong about this, but he so badly wanted to make his daughter happy that he didn't face the consequences. Not right now, anyway.
'Well, whatever you want to call it, it's wrong.'
'Wrong, Lilah? You have people killed on a daily basis and you think a small lie that's in our daughter's advantage is wrong?', Wesley frowned, now officially declaring he didn't understand anything about Lilah anymore. Or about women in general.
Lilah understood nothing about herself either, and she didn't like it at all. She'd always had full control over her own emotions, this was completely new "and" unpleasant to her. She'd been like that since moving in with Wesley, maybe she really need to hurry finding her own apartment.
'It just is. Fine, if you're so sure it's right then fine, it won't give me nightmares, but I'm not going to cover you, or play the happy, flirty girlfriend, and you're responsible if something goes wrong. All right? Good.', Lilah picked up her files and papers again and left Wesley alone. Sure he had his doubts about this, but he simply refused to break Gabrielle's heart.
When Gabrielle came home from school that after noon she found she was, as usually, home alone. She didn't mind, though, she was used to it. And she was still in a good mood, anyway. Gaby poured herself a glass of coke, grabbed an apple to balance the sweetness of the coke and turned on the tv. "As The World Turns" was on again, great to do boring history-homework with. With a pen and a notebook on her lap Gaby let her mind wander off to her new school. Nick had smiled at her a lot, did that mean something or was he just trying to be nice? Making friends, maybe? Gabrielle had never really thought of boys liking her before. Sure, she'd nearly drooled over Brad Pitt pictures with Lisa and New York, and had secretly thought of herself as the girlfriend of the cutest boy in school, but those had just been dreams . Dreams that weren't supposed to come true. On the whole, she'd mainly focused on her school work, and when she did go out if was with friends. She wondered why. Had she not seen the boys before, or had she not wanted to see them like she wouldn't end up like her mother?
When "As the World Turns" ended, Gaby turned off the TV. Time to fully concentrate on her homework. She didn't think there was a lot of difference with the school in New York, and she'd always easily scored A's there, but she wanted to make a good impression. And that was easier without the distraction of soap opera's.
The next evening, Wesley and Lilah had both time to have dinner with Gabrielle, but they both were unbelievably quiet. Gaby was ignorant to it, and filled up the silence by talking lots and lots about tons of different things such as school, Stephanie, and also.. Nick. Deep inside she knew this new home-situation was a lie, but she just desperately wanted to believe in it, because let's face it, which girl with separate parents didn't want her parents to get back together?
'Tomorrow's Friday.', she said, changing the subject after realising that telling her parents about Nick may not be such a good idea after all.
Lilah and Wesley exchanged a look. 'We know that.', Lilah said.
'Well, remember what grandfather said about wanting to see me on Friday?', Gabrielle reminded them.
'Yes, we remember, and we don't want you to go.', Wesley said, getting slightly nervous the second his father was mentioned. He just really didn't want Gabrielle to go; she could get hurt, like he had been. Or she could "not" get hurt.. That might be even worse, because it would mean Roger wasn't mean and abusive to everybody. It would mean it had to do with Wesley, that maybe he hadn't been good enough after all…
'Little correction here, Wes. "You" don't want her to go. I don't care. She can handle him.', Lilah commented , not in the mood to do the 'I'm-in-love-so-I-agree-with-anything-my-lovey-says-game".
'I'm just curious to find out what he wants.', Gaby said. 'Don't worry daddy. I'm not going to let him hurt me, and the second he does or says something I don't approve of I'll call you. Okay?'
Wesley sighed, he didn't really have a chance here, it was two against one, so what else could he do then give in? 'All right. As long as you really promise to call me in such a case.', he said, still slightly reluctant.
Gabrielle nodded and smiled. ' I promise. Can I leave now? I still have some homework to do.'
Lilah nodded. 'Yea, go. I'll see you tomorrow morning before school.' .
Lilah turned back to Wesley when Gaby was off to her room. She still didn't really agree to Wesley's "plan" , but she didn't have time to discuss that right now, she had another meeting at the office tonight. 'Time to go for me too.' She stood up and put her plate on the sink. 'You know me, busy as always. I'll see you later, "lover"'.
Wesley glanced at her walking away, and rolled his eyes. "Lover..", he thought. How ironic.