Notes: So these are ending up a little more connected than I
originally planned. Still, they're not going to be a coherent as if
this were an actual chaptered story instead of a series of ficlets, if
that makes any sense.
Prompt: Melancholy/Sadness
Chapter 7 – Release
His mother dies sometime between Wednesday and Thursday and they are both asleep when he gets the call from her doctors. They try to comfort him with all the standard platitudes but all he can hear is a buzzing in his ears and all he can feel is shock and he hardly notices when she takes the phone from his limp hand and speaks to the doctors for him. After she hangs up, she wraps her arms around him and rests her chin on his shoulder and doesn't say a word and there aren't enough words in all of the languages he knows to express his gratitude towards her in this moment.
He knows he should be upset or sad or angry but the only emotion he can feel about his mother's death is relief. He is relieved that she is finally free of her demons, that he is finally free of her demons and he feels guilty for feeling relieved. He has been losing her his entire life, has had to care for her alone for longer than he should have and so he can't feel sad or mad or angry at anyone but himself for feeling so relieved.
He doesn't even realize that he's started to cry until he feels her small hands upon his face wiping away his tears and caressing his stubbled cheeks. He knows that she thinks he is crying for his mother, but she is wrong. He's crying for himself and his life spent caring for a woman who should have cared for him and because he doesn't know how to live a life that's not spent researching the latest cocktail of anti-psychotics and the effects they might have on his dying mother. He is scared and when he looks into her eyes, he knows that she can see his fear as clearly as if it were written there.
Her eyes tell him that they will be all right, that they will get through this together and to hell with what the department tells them is proper conduct between partners. She will hold his hand at the funeral and take leave with him and won't go back to work until he is ready to face the worst that humanity can throw at them once again.
He kisses her then and is more in love with her in that moment than he ever thought was humanly possible. His tears wet both their faces and when she pulls away to call their captain and let him know why his best team won't be in to work for the next while, he wraps his arms tight around her middle and doesn't let go.
(TBC)