A long time had passed since my breakdown that spring. Actually a new spring would be starting in a week. I couldn't have had better friends to see me through it. They never asked me to give any story or explanation. They knew enough to guess what might be the cause of my unrest, Mary especially.
She never said anything, but on occasion I caught her giving me suspicious yet strangely sympathetic glances. But she had silently agreed not to say anything when she took my hand the next morning and led me down the stairs. She looked me directly in the eyes and nodded.
I should have been thankful for the kindness bestowed upon me by my friends and I constantly reminded myself of that. But I've always had this natural repulsion of pity that I've never been able to shake. Not that I didn't give it myself, but it made me feel feeble, pathetic, and lame. Something I inherited from both my parents.
Manny proposed in the summer. I said yes. Although I enjoyed the unpredictable kind of existence that I was living it still felt good to see a simple, happy life in my future. I loved Manny. Even though sometimes he drove me completely up the wall. He was a wonderful person. There would be no more "having to be careful," we wouldn't have to worry about that anymore. Hard times may have been ahead: a white woman and a Latino man, but we didn't care.
I could see it might be rather a good idea to raise children in the sort of homey, familiar environment of the Saloon, except for the activities of Friday and Saturday nights. Sammy, Bookie, Mary and Maria could be a part of a wonderful extended family, at least for the time they stayed in Columbus, or maybe they would settle down too. Not that I was pregnant, but I hoped to be as soon as we were married.
But like I had learned before, you can never be sure what the future holds, not even the immediate future. Life is unpredictable. It can take mere seconds to change your life or to ever seal your fate…
It was an ordinary morning on an ordinary day in a dreadfully ordinary town, (our home of Columbus being that town.)
I was supposed to meet Fannie Prescott for coffee at noon. She was the teller at the bank. I was going to help fix some the hems on some of her old dresses that afternoon, but we were going to have a little something to eat first.
It was a little before four in the morning in early March and for some odd reason everyone in the house was awake, save for Mary who often slept late. I've always liked the secrecy of the early morning hours so when the mood strikes me I'm liable to get up extra early just to spend quality time with myself. I decided to do that this particular morning. Unfortunately so did everyone else.
After I got up Manny rose too and got dressed. "Buenos días Querida." He kissed me on the cheek.
"Buenos días Sweetie."
"What time is it?"
"Early. Muy early."
"I'm not sleepy anymore."
"How about we go downstairs and have breakfast? Just us."
"Buena idea." Besides us, there seemed to be a strange silence, save for the occasional grunting of a horse coming from outside.
So us two, the soon-to-be Sanchezes, crept downstairs to have a private breakfast. Something we'd never had.
I happily slipped on my engagement ring very much unlike I had done that same course of action four years earlier. It was rather plain, pewter and with just a little piece of polished glass in the center, but it was quite charming.
When we arrived at the bottom of the stairs we were met by Sammy, Bookie and Maria. Scrap that buena idea.
"Where's Mary?" I asked.
"Old Mare's in bed. Headaches. Woman's thing." Said Bookie.
"What are you people doing up anyway?"
"Maria was wide awake an hour ago and woke us up."
"I couldn't sleep." She defended. "What about you two?"
"Same." Manny looked at me and shrugged.
Maria skipped off towards the kitchen. "Who's up for an early breakfast?"
"Me."
"Me."
"Me."
"And I Madame." Bookie was in curiously good mood for generally late riser. Maria, Sammy, and Bookie danced off towards the kitchen. Manuel needed a bath so he went upstairs assuring us he'd be down in time for breakfast.
"So who wants what? Eggs, bacon, I could go for French toast myself. Big fancy breakfast just for us people." It seemed Maria was always chipper no matter what time of day it was.
I followed Manny up the stairs and went in to check on Mary. She was not in one of her better moods to say the least.
Next I went back to my fiancé who had lost himself under the water. As soon as he poked his head out I playfully dunked him back under.
"What time is it?" He asked me after he had spit the excess water out of his mouth.
"A little after four."
"Cristo. It's not even day yet."
"Technically it is. The next day starts at midnight. So it's the ninth already."
"Yes but it's daytime still."
While we were the midst of our little chat we stopped to listen to an argument between Mary and Maria, who had found her way upstairs.
"Well I want to say I'm feeling just like peaches and cream but I can't now can I!" Mary, as dearly as we loved her and as sweet as she was, like everyone else, had her less than flattering moments. This was one of them.
Then loud noises were heard from outside. Booms and cracks and shouting. Maria ran to the window. "Well I want to say there aren't angry villistas running around outside but I can't now can I!"
"What!" Mary yelled.
"Look damn it! Look!" The cries from the town outside continued.
"What!" Manny and I turned to each other. I ran out towards the girls' bedroom while he followed after me, struggling to get out of the bath and grab a towel. I stopped half way there. Manny's towel had dropped.
"Manny put some clothes on damn it!"
"Shit!" He had just noticed when I pointed it out to him.
I stumbled into the room where Maria and Mary now stood in silence. "What? What's going on?" Normally, I would have thought it a practical joke, but the shouts from outside were very real.
Manny fell in with his pants barely on. I lay there on the floor clinging to my fiancé as Mary and Maria stood there. Any stirring coming from stop downstairs had halted. The sounds of gunfire and men shouting "Viva Villa!" and Viva Mexico!" came closer.
"Villistas! Villistas!" Maria jumped up and down pointed out the window.
"Get away from that window Maria! Now!" Manny ordered little sister. He sprung up from the floor to physically move her to safety. Mary dropped back onto the bed and groaned.
"Move." I confirmed my thoughts aloud, "we have to move…NOW!"
I ran downstairs while the other three followed. Sammy and Bookie were ducked behind a table looking intently out the window.
I ran out onto the front porch. Men with guns and horses were shouting and people were running out of burning buildings.
"Rose get back inside!" Manny pulled me back in. "What the hell's going on?!"
"We're being attacked!" shouted Sammy.
"I've noticed!" Maria shouted back at them.
"Calm down God damn it!" Mary screeched. I've lost count of how many times Mary scolded me for using God's name in vain, not that she didn't swear otherwise. "Somebody think!"
Bookie refused to move from behind the table, but still offered an idea. "Is this an invasion or a raid?"
"If it's an invasion we haven't got a prayer, if it's a raid you can sure as hell bet they're going to be coming here." I paused to catch my breath. I almost didn't realize how fast I was breathing. "We need to get out as quickly and as quietly as possible. Just get what you need. Bookie, can The Piece of Shit pull its wait for a few miles?" (I was referring to the tin lizzy, his pet project for the past year. "The Piece of Shit" was its common name in the house.)
"It should."
"It better."
"Where are we going? We can't leave here! I'm not leaving!"
"Maria we have to! We have no other choice!"
"What about everybody else? What if they're out for blood? We can't just run away! We need time to think!"
I looked to the chaos outside. "Everyone else is leaving. If we stay we die! We need to get out now and consider everything else later! And there is no time to think! Everyone get your things and let's go. We'll meet outside by the car. And be fast as lightning. Be down here immediately if not sooner!" I told myself then that I was going to get all of us out of there come hell or high water.
We all bolted upstairs and grabbed our things in a mad rush. I tore open my dresser draws and grabbed the Sunday dress Alice had made for me, a collection of letters and postcards from my all friends and old newspaper clippings, my glasses, my old sash dress and Cal's old coat which still contained the money and the blue diamond. I shoved all of those into my suitcase along with a few other miscellaneous items and clothing. Manny, on the other side of the room had finished his packing before me and was waiting impatiently and near panic.
I grabbed his hand and we ran downstairs to meet the others. He only had pants on and they were soaked through, sticking to his legs.
We found Maria clearing the dining area of everything she could find. She was taking too long and we had to drag her out to the back porch.
By the time we ran outside the cavalry had already responded. We threw our luggage in with ourselves and Bookie flipped the switch and pulled the choke while I frantically winded the crank. It made a few pathetic little noises and gave out.
"Come on! Come on!" I pleaded. The others screamed and yelled from inside the car. I slammed my fist against the automobile as I cursed it and then resumed cranking. The car finally started with roar and jolt. I launched myself over the hood and groped my way frontward as Bookie slammed on the gas and the car soared forward.
Luckily, The Piece of Shit had no windshield, so that was not in my path. "Come
on Rose!" Sammy latched on to my wrist and pulled me back over on top of himself, Maria, and Bookie, who were all sitting in the front seat.
My feet flew up as I fell in and kicked Bookie in the face. The car swerved and the right wheels left the ground for a moment. We came down with a crack and the car rocked from side to side.
The gunshots were getting louder and louder. Not because the villistas were on our block, but because they were firing at us. "Does this fucking shitbox go any faster?!" Mary screamed in Bookie's ear.
"Hurry!" I screeched. "They're getting closer!"
Bookie hit the gas again and we surged forward, The Piece of Shit pushing with all her little might. Behind us we could hear the sounds of shattering glass and burning buildings. I climbed into the back with Manuel and Mary.
We all turned behind us to see men running out of the Saloon with boxes and bags while flames danced teasingly from the upstairs windows. The heat from the fire distorted the image of the town's buildings on the horizon. They seemed to wave us goodbye.
Maria stifled a cry. It was really her Saloon. Her restaurante. Four years earlier when the Sanchez children came to New Mexico, after their parents' death, they worked at old lady Marguerita's saloon. When she died only months later they took over. Maria, at only sixteen was a talented cook, but more importantly a decisive businesswoman. She put her life into that Saloon and the customers, the townspeople, her employees, her friends, and her brother. Her home was gone. Her fellow Columbians might be dying and Columbus itself was being burnt to the ground. Now her life was being swallowed up by flames and the only choice she had was whether to watch or to look away.
Our small family drove onward into the desert away from our home, everyone remained in this dazed, terrified silence, except for Maria who was sobbing and wailing.
No one actually spoke any comprehensible to words to anyone else.
Then something very particular caught my eye. "Bookie…" I said to him in a calm, low voice. No response. "Bookie we're going the wrong way."
"We're going away and I'm not bloody stopping until we cross the border into Colorado!" His voice along with his whole body was shaking.
"We're not heading anywhere near Colorado." I kept my stoic demeanor.
"We're getting away. We'll be safe soon."
"No," I said, "BECAUSE WE'RE DRIVING INTO MEXICO!!!!!" I stood up and pointed violently at the sign that read 'Mexico.' "MEXICO!!"
"WHAT?!" His eyes bulged and he lunged his head forward towards the sign.
"Mexico?!" Maria's head shot up.
"Mexico!" I repeated. "You're going into Mexico!"
We passed the sign. "Bookie stop the car!" shouted Sammy.
"Stop now!" Mary shrieked. "Ahora!"
"Turn around! Turn around!" Manny ordered.
Bookie finally stopped the car and we were thrown forward, each person slamming into whatever was in front of them.
After a moment everyone got out. We were dusty, tired, displaced, and lost. We walked out and stretched for moment. I opened up my suitcase to get my glasses. I wiped them off on my blouse and put them on.
We stood around the car not saying anything. Maria wiped the streaks of dried tears from her face. The sun was up by now, beating down on us and blinding our eyes.
There was silence again as we climbed back into the car. "Alright everyone let's turn her around." Sammy sighed. Bookie sat at the wheel again, flipped the switched and pulled the choke while I winded the crank. Manuel stood beside me as I was on my knees turning the crank.
It was different than it was the hour before. This time The Piece of Shit made no noise whatsoever and there was no jolt, no puking of black smoke. Nothing. I tried over and over again, but there was nothing. "Come on damn it." I sighed. I didn't have the energy any more. The last hour's adrenaline rush had ceased and I was beginning to feel the effects of it, as were my comrades. I looked up at the sky for a moment and shielded my eyes with my arm. I grunted and went back to my work. I still couldn't get it to do anything.
I stood up and paced for several seconds, glaring vindictively at the automobile. "God damn useless thing." I glowered. "Odio!" I kicked it hard. "FUNCIÓNA! HIJO DE HEMBRA! MIERDA! MUERTA MUERTA! MUERTA DAMN YOU!" Then I screamed something altogether incomprehensible in a horrible shrill and continued kicking the living hell out of the automobile until Manuel put his hand over my shoulder.
"Please calm down Rosa. Por favor." I still squirmed as he moved me bodily away from The Piece of Shit, which was now truly living up to it's name.
He tried to walk me back into the vehicle, but something very particular caught my eye again. Mixed up in our bewildering dilemma, we failed to notice the small group of men closing in on us. They came out from behind a wall bushes and cactuses. They had probably been watching us for several minutes. There were about ten of them if my memory serves me correctly. Ten or so villistas on horseback had their guns pointed straight at our heads.
She never said anything, but on occasion I caught her giving me suspicious yet strangely sympathetic glances. But she had silently agreed not to say anything when she took my hand the next morning and led me down the stairs. She looked me directly in the eyes and nodded.
I should have been thankful for the kindness bestowed upon me by my friends and I constantly reminded myself of that. But I've always had this natural repulsion of pity that I've never been able to shake. Not that I didn't give it myself, but it made me feel feeble, pathetic, and lame. Something I inherited from both my parents.
Manny proposed in the summer. I said yes. Although I enjoyed the unpredictable kind of existence that I was living it still felt good to see a simple, happy life in my future. I loved Manny. Even though sometimes he drove me completely up the wall. He was a wonderful person. There would be no more "having to be careful," we wouldn't have to worry about that anymore. Hard times may have been ahead: a white woman and a Latino man, but we didn't care.
I could see it might be rather a good idea to raise children in the sort of homey, familiar environment of the Saloon, except for the activities of Friday and Saturday nights. Sammy, Bookie, Mary and Maria could be a part of a wonderful extended family, at least for the time they stayed in Columbus, or maybe they would settle down too. Not that I was pregnant, but I hoped to be as soon as we were married.
But like I had learned before, you can never be sure what the future holds, not even the immediate future. Life is unpredictable. It can take mere seconds to change your life or to ever seal your fate…
It was an ordinary morning on an ordinary day in a dreadfully ordinary town, (our home of Columbus being that town.)
I was supposed to meet Fannie Prescott for coffee at noon. She was the teller at the bank. I was going to help fix some the hems on some of her old dresses that afternoon, but we were going to have a little something to eat first.
It was a little before four in the morning in early March and for some odd reason everyone in the house was awake, save for Mary who often slept late. I've always liked the secrecy of the early morning hours so when the mood strikes me I'm liable to get up extra early just to spend quality time with myself. I decided to do that this particular morning. Unfortunately so did everyone else.
After I got up Manny rose too and got dressed. "Buenos días Querida." He kissed me on the cheek.
"Buenos días Sweetie."
"What time is it?"
"Early. Muy early."
"I'm not sleepy anymore."
"How about we go downstairs and have breakfast? Just us."
"Buena idea." Besides us, there seemed to be a strange silence, save for the occasional grunting of a horse coming from outside.
So us two, the soon-to-be Sanchezes, crept downstairs to have a private breakfast. Something we'd never had.
I happily slipped on my engagement ring very much unlike I had done that same course of action four years earlier. It was rather plain, pewter and with just a little piece of polished glass in the center, but it was quite charming.
When we arrived at the bottom of the stairs we were met by Sammy, Bookie and Maria. Scrap that buena idea.
"Where's Mary?" I asked.
"Old Mare's in bed. Headaches. Woman's thing." Said Bookie.
"What are you people doing up anyway?"
"Maria was wide awake an hour ago and woke us up."
"I couldn't sleep." She defended. "What about you two?"
"Same." Manny looked at me and shrugged.
Maria skipped off towards the kitchen. "Who's up for an early breakfast?"
"Me."
"Me."
"Me."
"And I Madame." Bookie was in curiously good mood for generally late riser. Maria, Sammy, and Bookie danced off towards the kitchen. Manuel needed a bath so he went upstairs assuring us he'd be down in time for breakfast.
"So who wants what? Eggs, bacon, I could go for French toast myself. Big fancy breakfast just for us people." It seemed Maria was always chipper no matter what time of day it was.
I followed Manny up the stairs and went in to check on Mary. She was not in one of her better moods to say the least.
Next I went back to my fiancé who had lost himself under the water. As soon as he poked his head out I playfully dunked him back under.
"What time is it?" He asked me after he had spit the excess water out of his mouth.
"A little after four."
"Cristo. It's not even day yet."
"Technically it is. The next day starts at midnight. So it's the ninth already."
"Yes but it's daytime still."
While we were the midst of our little chat we stopped to listen to an argument between Mary and Maria, who had found her way upstairs.
"Well I want to say I'm feeling just like peaches and cream but I can't now can I!" Mary, as dearly as we loved her and as sweet as she was, like everyone else, had her less than flattering moments. This was one of them.
Then loud noises were heard from outside. Booms and cracks and shouting. Maria ran to the window. "Well I want to say there aren't angry villistas running around outside but I can't now can I!"
"What!" Mary yelled.
"Look damn it! Look!" The cries from the town outside continued.
"What!" Manny and I turned to each other. I ran out towards the girls' bedroom while he followed after me, struggling to get out of the bath and grab a towel. I stopped half way there. Manny's towel had dropped.
"Manny put some clothes on damn it!"
"Shit!" He had just noticed when I pointed it out to him.
I stumbled into the room where Maria and Mary now stood in silence. "What? What's going on?" Normally, I would have thought it a practical joke, but the shouts from outside were very real.
Manny fell in with his pants barely on. I lay there on the floor clinging to my fiancé as Mary and Maria stood there. Any stirring coming from stop downstairs had halted. The sounds of gunfire and men shouting "Viva Villa!" and Viva Mexico!" came closer.
"Villistas! Villistas!" Maria jumped up and down pointed out the window.
"Get away from that window Maria! Now!" Manny ordered little sister. He sprung up from the floor to physically move her to safety. Mary dropped back onto the bed and groaned.
"Move." I confirmed my thoughts aloud, "we have to move…NOW!"
I ran downstairs while the other three followed. Sammy and Bookie were ducked behind a table looking intently out the window.
I ran out onto the front porch. Men with guns and horses were shouting and people were running out of burning buildings.
"Rose get back inside!" Manny pulled me back in. "What the hell's going on?!"
"We're being attacked!" shouted Sammy.
"I've noticed!" Maria shouted back at them.
"Calm down God damn it!" Mary screeched. I've lost count of how many times Mary scolded me for using God's name in vain, not that she didn't swear otherwise. "Somebody think!"
Bookie refused to move from behind the table, but still offered an idea. "Is this an invasion or a raid?"
"If it's an invasion we haven't got a prayer, if it's a raid you can sure as hell bet they're going to be coming here." I paused to catch my breath. I almost didn't realize how fast I was breathing. "We need to get out as quickly and as quietly as possible. Just get what you need. Bookie, can The Piece of Shit pull its wait for a few miles?" (I was referring to the tin lizzy, his pet project for the past year. "The Piece of Shit" was its common name in the house.)
"It should."
"It better."
"Where are we going? We can't leave here! I'm not leaving!"
"Maria we have to! We have no other choice!"
"What about everybody else? What if they're out for blood? We can't just run away! We need time to think!"
I looked to the chaos outside. "Everyone else is leaving. If we stay we die! We need to get out now and consider everything else later! And there is no time to think! Everyone get your things and let's go. We'll meet outside by the car. And be fast as lightning. Be down here immediately if not sooner!" I told myself then that I was going to get all of us out of there come hell or high water.
We all bolted upstairs and grabbed our things in a mad rush. I tore open my dresser draws and grabbed the Sunday dress Alice had made for me, a collection of letters and postcards from my all friends and old newspaper clippings, my glasses, my old sash dress and Cal's old coat which still contained the money and the blue diamond. I shoved all of those into my suitcase along with a few other miscellaneous items and clothing. Manny, on the other side of the room had finished his packing before me and was waiting impatiently and near panic.
I grabbed his hand and we ran downstairs to meet the others. He only had pants on and they were soaked through, sticking to his legs.
We found Maria clearing the dining area of everything she could find. She was taking too long and we had to drag her out to the back porch.
By the time we ran outside the cavalry had already responded. We threw our luggage in with ourselves and Bookie flipped the switch and pulled the choke while I frantically winded the crank. It made a few pathetic little noises and gave out.
"Come on! Come on!" I pleaded. The others screamed and yelled from inside the car. I slammed my fist against the automobile as I cursed it and then resumed cranking. The car finally started with roar and jolt. I launched myself over the hood and groped my way frontward as Bookie slammed on the gas and the car soared forward.
Luckily, The Piece of Shit had no windshield, so that was not in my path. "Come
on Rose!" Sammy latched on to my wrist and pulled me back over on top of himself, Maria, and Bookie, who were all sitting in the front seat.
My feet flew up as I fell in and kicked Bookie in the face. The car swerved and the right wheels left the ground for a moment. We came down with a crack and the car rocked from side to side.
The gunshots were getting louder and louder. Not because the villistas were on our block, but because they were firing at us. "Does this fucking shitbox go any faster?!" Mary screamed in Bookie's ear.
"Hurry!" I screeched. "They're getting closer!"
Bookie hit the gas again and we surged forward, The Piece of Shit pushing with all her little might. Behind us we could hear the sounds of shattering glass and burning buildings. I climbed into the back with Manuel and Mary.
We all turned behind us to see men running out of the Saloon with boxes and bags while flames danced teasingly from the upstairs windows. The heat from the fire distorted the image of the town's buildings on the horizon. They seemed to wave us goodbye.
Maria stifled a cry. It was really her Saloon. Her restaurante. Four years earlier when the Sanchez children came to New Mexico, after their parents' death, they worked at old lady Marguerita's saloon. When she died only months later they took over. Maria, at only sixteen was a talented cook, but more importantly a decisive businesswoman. She put her life into that Saloon and the customers, the townspeople, her employees, her friends, and her brother. Her home was gone. Her fellow Columbians might be dying and Columbus itself was being burnt to the ground. Now her life was being swallowed up by flames and the only choice she had was whether to watch or to look away.
Our small family drove onward into the desert away from our home, everyone remained in this dazed, terrified silence, except for Maria who was sobbing and wailing.
No one actually spoke any comprehensible to words to anyone else.
Then something very particular caught my eye. "Bookie…" I said to him in a calm, low voice. No response. "Bookie we're going the wrong way."
"We're going away and I'm not bloody stopping until we cross the border into Colorado!" His voice along with his whole body was shaking.
"We're not heading anywhere near Colorado." I kept my stoic demeanor.
"We're getting away. We'll be safe soon."
"No," I said, "BECAUSE WE'RE DRIVING INTO MEXICO!!!!!" I stood up and pointed violently at the sign that read 'Mexico.' "MEXICO!!"
"WHAT?!" His eyes bulged and he lunged his head forward towards the sign.
"Mexico?!" Maria's head shot up.
"Mexico!" I repeated. "You're going into Mexico!"
We passed the sign. "Bookie stop the car!" shouted Sammy.
"Stop now!" Mary shrieked. "Ahora!"
"Turn around! Turn around!" Manny ordered.
Bookie finally stopped the car and we were thrown forward, each person slamming into whatever was in front of them.
After a moment everyone got out. We were dusty, tired, displaced, and lost. We walked out and stretched for moment. I opened up my suitcase to get my glasses. I wiped them off on my blouse and put them on.
We stood around the car not saying anything. Maria wiped the streaks of dried tears from her face. The sun was up by now, beating down on us and blinding our eyes.
There was silence again as we climbed back into the car. "Alright everyone let's turn her around." Sammy sighed. Bookie sat at the wheel again, flipped the switched and pulled the choke while I winded the crank. Manuel stood beside me as I was on my knees turning the crank.
It was different than it was the hour before. This time The Piece of Shit made no noise whatsoever and there was no jolt, no puking of black smoke. Nothing. I tried over and over again, but there was nothing. "Come on damn it." I sighed. I didn't have the energy any more. The last hour's adrenaline rush had ceased and I was beginning to feel the effects of it, as were my comrades. I looked up at the sky for a moment and shielded my eyes with my arm. I grunted and went back to my work. I still couldn't get it to do anything.
I stood up and paced for several seconds, glaring vindictively at the automobile. "God damn useless thing." I glowered. "Odio!" I kicked it hard. "FUNCIÓNA! HIJO DE HEMBRA! MIERDA! MUERTA MUERTA! MUERTA DAMN YOU!" Then I screamed something altogether incomprehensible in a horrible shrill and continued kicking the living hell out of the automobile until Manuel put his hand over my shoulder.
"Please calm down Rosa. Por favor." I still squirmed as he moved me bodily away from The Piece of Shit, which was now truly living up to it's name.
He tried to walk me back into the vehicle, but something very particular caught my eye again. Mixed up in our bewildering dilemma, we failed to notice the small group of men closing in on us. They came out from behind a wall bushes and cactuses. They had probably been watching us for several minutes. There were about ten of them if my memory serves me correctly. Ten or so villistas on horseback had their guns pointed straight at our heads.