Disclaimer: Anything you recognize...etc.

Authors note: There's a reference to the meaning of 'Voldemort' in this chapter. For those who don't know, it means in French to steal death. There is another meaning where it means 'Flight from death' which I think might have been the original idea behind the name.

Some sensitive issues now, please mind the M as always : )

Many, many thanks to all you who left me reviews last chapter! Thank you so much..I hope you like this one!

Part Seventeen

Unforgivable

It was an automatic reaction, and I never thought, beforehand, about doing it. I didn't even look at her, just walked straight past, with a purpose, and she never tried to stop me. The last thing I saw before I turned down the staircase was Laura crossing the room and picking the book back up off the desk where I had left it.

I unlocked the kitchen door with my wand and stepped out onto the pathway. I didn't hear her come after me, and I don't think I really expected her to anyway.

The moon was up, and the farm lay cool and still, but suddenly, it was an ugly night.

O O O O O

Back at school, I threw myself into the secret meetings, for now, without her, they were all I had.

She wouldn't even look at me since she had returned to school the day after I had left the farm. I had left my cloak on her bed there, too, yet even this I found in a pile thrown hastily onto my bed shortly after her return. I shook it out and searched the pockets feeling pathetic, but still hoping for a note, or something, some sign or word, but there was nothing, just returning the lost property, I thought bitterly.

What I had read had proved invaluable of course, as I knew it would be, but although my Slytherin soul triumphed over this victory more than anything, for now with luck, my ambitions could be realised, I wanted her there, too, by my side as I proved myself and realised my future, my path to power.

After a while, though,her behaviour began to get more and more peculiar as I watched her around the castle, waiting for an opportunity. And she still wouldn't look at me, even in hate, she was even paler, and began to noticeably skip meals and sometimes lessons.

People were talking, but she still wouldn't talk to me. And I missed her. So much.

O O O O O

"Thinking of taking up Quidditch, my Lord?" asked Abraxas, trying clearly to suppress a smirk as we went down to breakfast.

I treated him to my very best sneer, and he went silent for a bit, before adding:

"I saw you talking to that girl from the Ravenclaw Quidditch team before lunch yesterday."

"And what of it?" I answered. "I can speak to whom I choose, surely. Must I have a reason, an ulterior motive?"

Abraxas looked uncomfortable, clearly not having intended to be drawn into a disagreement with me.

"No…of course not. But then, it's you, isn't it. So an ulterior motive might well be a good guess."

I grinned nastily.

"Indeed, Malfoy. But I would be unlikely to share them with you, wouldn't I?" I told him.

"Yes, of course….." Abraxas said quickly, giving me a quick sideways glance.

"I just thought…..thought that…."

"What did you think?" I enquired.

"I just thought you might have been asking her to the Ball, is all."

My heart clenched, and I faced him angrily.

"I wasn't asking her anything, Abraxas." I lied. "I barely know her name."

"Her name's Laura Ames." Abraxas supplied helpfully. "I smashed her brooms-…"

"I know what you did to her broomstick, Abraxas."

"Yes, well…Polly likes her for some reason. Anyway, did you ask anyone to the ball with you?"

I raised my eyebrows.

"I'm rather busy with more important things than chasing girls, Abraxas. Especially the kind that you seem to favour."

"If that's supposed to mean Lucy Rosier, we broke up." he said sulkily.

I gave a snort of derisive laughter.

"Well, you would have to be a fool not to see that one coming anyway, Malfoy. She's been with just about every Seventh year after hours since before and after she met you. And quite a few others besides."

"You…you knew about that?" Abraxas asked, after a moment.

"I do prefect duty." I said, evasively.

"You might have told me, Tom."

"Might I? I thought you knew what she was like..perhaps you even preferred it that way." I sneered. "And I have to go to the library before breakfast, so if you'll excuse me--"

I swept past him, laughing silently to myself. I had enjoyed turning the knife for the smug, well-off Malfoy. I hadn't really needed to go to the library, I was just trying to get rid of him, so that I could double back past Ravenclaw tower, and hopefully catch Laura alone again.

Abraxas had been right, though. I had been talking to her, or rather, trying to talk to her. And I had spoken to her that time in the courtyard, told her that I could explain, and I probably could have…now I had had the time to formulate some vaguely convincing lies.

She wouldn't listen to me, though. She hadn't even spoken to me, just shook her head and refused to meet my eyes, and then almost pushed past me, as she hurried back into the school.

There was no need to take a detour, however. I literally collided with her on the back stairs to the library.

She had obviously just come from there, because she had an armful of books. They scattered all over the floor, and I had just whipped out my wand to hex the idiot who hadn't been looking where they were going, when I saw who it was.

I must have knocked her quite hard. She had taken a step back and was leaning against the stone wall of the stairwell with her eyes closed, and her arms clasped over her stomach. She groaned, and when she looked up at me, I could see her face was very white.

"Laura…I…." I began, reaching out and attempting to steady her.

She pulled away sharply, and swung round to face me.

"Stop following me everywhere!" she spat angrily, pulling out her wand and aiming it at the fallen books. I ignored her accusation, and drew my own wand.

"Allow me." I muttered a spell and the books stacked themselves neatly at her elbow on the window ledge.

"Thank you so much, Mr Prefect." Laura said sarcastically. "Remind me again how great you are."

" I was only trying to help, Laura." I returned, to her furious look. " You look as if you could do with it…if I say it myself."

"It's none of your business what I do and don't need, Riddle." she said, through her teeth.

" I know that I don't need you. So get out of the way. I have Potions."

"What a coincidence, so have I." I said, sarcastically. " So perhaps I should carry these for you?" I pointed a finger at the stack of tomes on the sill.

"I don't need you to do anything for me." she said, grabbing them, and groaning again suddenly. "Leave me alone, and stop following me around. I don't want anything to do with you after what you did.You never even liked me."

"You wouldn't let me explain…." I started. But she had already pushed past me, and was climbing the steps again, bag in one hand and library books balanced precariously in the other, looking ready to fall again at any moment. She turned back though, a few steps above me, so that her eyes were for once level with my own.

"I wouldn't let you tell me a lot of lies you mean, Tom. "

She paused, and then said, "He found out, you know. He blamed me, of course, how could I tell him otherwise, about you? He actually hit me." -she pulled her hair back and I saw an angry red weal turning blue on her cheekbone. My stomach turned over. Bastard.

"If you would just listen to me-" I said, but she cut me off.

"I don't want to listen to you. You're a liar. Nothing but a hateful liar. And I was an idiot to think you liked me, with you and all your stupid friends-sycophants…all of them. Go and talk to them, Tom Riddle. Or should I say, my Lord."

I froze at her words.

"What did you say?" I said, quietly.

"I heard what they call you. I was listening. That idiot brother of Polly Malfoy, and all the rest. I don't know what you're up to…but 'Voldemort'?"

"It means-" I started.

"I know what it means." Laura said,in a low and deadly voice.

She turned on her heel abruptly and ran up the stairs without giving me another word. I didn't make the library, and I was late for the Potions lesson, but I slipped in, muttering an excuse about the Prefect's meeting running over, and expecting to be able to catch Laura's eye with a meaningful look as I took my seat, but she wasn't there, the seat next to Elodie Prince empty, just like the time after our first kiss all those months ago.

Abraxas passed me a note asking about the next time and date of our meeting, and I was forced to concentrate on making a potion to improve concentration. Oh, the irony. I even considered drinking mine, before Slughorn whipped it away to test.

O O O O O

A fortnight later, I was back in the Room, with the other members filing out a few at a time to avoid suspicion. It must have been a little after midnight, and when they had all dispersed, I remained behind, to read a little more of the books that the room had provided. It was a long time before I felt tired enough to be able to sleep, and the grandmother clock in the room had struck two long before I rose from the battered leather couch in the corner of the room, and prepared to leave for my bed at long last.

The night had been cold for late April, and I had flung on my thickest cloak over robes and a jumper, all in black , so I moved through the castle like a shadow, and almost as silent. Nobody was to be seen, not even the caretaker Pringle, or his nasty little yapping dog.

I reached the second floor and was about to cut past the bathrooms and onto the back stairs to the dungeons, when I saw the flicker of white out of the corner of my eye, and instinctively, I turned to see a figure in a voluminous nightdress disappearing into the girls bathroom.

At first I thought it might have been Myrtle Miles, and I wondered what she was doing out of the basement dormitories of Hufflepuff at this hour. I walked quickly, silently , to the door, hoping to have the pleasure of reporting the Mudblood, and opened it just a crack listening to see if there really was someone in there, or if it was my mind playing tricks. It was then I heard the groan, and a hushed whimper, and I knew all of a sudden, I knew who it was.

Laura was bent almost double over one of the washbasins shivering and crying. I stood in the doorway watching her, too stunned to speak, and as I did so, she retched violently into the basin in front of her, clutching the edge of the cold porcelain in an effort to stay on her feet, which were bare. Finally, she raised her head and that was when she caught sight of my reflection watching her in the mirror, and she turned sharply, fury evident and her face blanched.

"What in hell are you doing here? Get out!" she shrieked, but instead of doing as she asked, I took a step further into the room and closed the door behind me.

"What in hell are you doing, Laura? If you're ill, shouldn't you be in the hospital wing?" I whispered, furiously.

"I don't need the hospital wing," she said angrily, not meeting my eyes, though I could see the red rims of her own, along with the tear tracks on her cheeks, only too clearly.

"Why won't you speak to me?" I demanded, as she turned back to the sink.

"You know full well why not." she snarled.

I was taken aback and furious at the venom in her voice, and even more so when she gasped and retched again over the basin. Quickly, I crossed the remaining space between the two of us and tried to hold her, tried to put my arm around her shoulders, but she only rested against me for half a second before she seemed to remember that she hated me, and wrenched herself away again.

"Go away!" she said, through clenched teeth. "I don't need you interfering."

I grabbed her wrist, and pulled her around to face me, looking into her eyes. I could see the tears still clinging to her eyelashes and I was struck with the bizarre urge to kiss them, yet at the same time I wanted to force her to answer me, to justify herself. She struggled and tried to pull herself away again, but this time I held on. We were almost fighting as she tried to reach the door, and briefly, she twisted, causing me to lose my grip, and she scrambled free.

She was halfway to the door when I caught up again. This time I seized her with both arms around her middle and held on, forcing her to stop, and she did, quite suddenly, going limp in my arms with another short gasp, and that was when the realisation hit me.

She felt different. I noticed in the cove that she had put on a little weight, but now her stomach felt swollen, not flat and soft, like the night we had first made love to each other four months previously. Four months ago.

Four months.

"Laura," I said, quietly, incredulously. "Laura….you're having a baby."

I didn't know what reaction I was even expecting from her, but I let go of her, conscious of the pressure on her stomach and she stood up, smoothing her nightdress with great concentration, refusing to look at me, and walked slowly back to steady herself upon the porcelain basin once more.

"You're having a baby," I repeated, following her and putting my hands on her shoulders to kiss her neck from behind. She looked up at me, catching my eye in the glass of the cracked mirror before looking back down at the scratched brass taps.

"Don't." she muttered. "Just get off me."

"But you're……"

"Just get off me!" she snapped.

"But it's mine." I said. It wasn't meant to be a question.

"Of course it's yours!" she spat. "Do you think I made a habit of doing what we did? Do you think that there was anyone else? You were the first and the last and you know that quite well. Now go away."

I felt my temper rise, but I didn't move my arms from around her. Instead, I pressed closer, running one hand over her hot forehead to smooth back the wild dark hair, with the other around her chest…breathing on her ear to whisper softly.

"You enjoyed what we did, Laura. You wanted me to, and I don't regret it…..such a shame that you do…..and a little late for regrets now, too, so it seems…."

Laura tensed under my grip and I heard her draw in a sharp breath.

"You're vile and you are twisted, Tom Riddle. Sick, not to mention a liar and a thief. And I can't think of anything worse than……than this. Than having your child. Get your hateful hands off me and leave me alone."

I smiled a twisted smile into the cracked glass and her horrified face.

"I'm afraid I can't do that Laura," I said quietly, moving my hands down to stroke the small swelling of her abdomen. "My property too, you see. I'm afraid we're in this very much together."

"Property! Don't be ridiculous!"

"Did you not love me, Laura? Did you lie? Tell me the truth!" I commanded.

Laura looked at her feet.

"I can't forgive what you did. I trusted you." she whispered.

" But I could explain, Laura, if you would only listen."

"I don't want to hear it. I know why you did it. I saw what you had in your hands. I read it, after you'd gone."

"You think you know. But you're wrong. Forgive me?"

Laura shook her head but didn't say anything. I had another idea.

"I can help you with the sickness, at least? If you keep missing classes, eventually someone will find out, they'll guess…and what if they tell your father?" I knew the mention of Aster Ames would push the desired buttons. It did.

She rubbed a despairing hand across her wet face.

"I'm sick all the time," she muttered, miserably.

"Let me take care of you," I said into her ear, and sliding my hands to hold both of hers, to which she shivered involuntarily.

I don't know exactly how I managed to persuade her, but she let me steer her along the darkened corridors and down the stairs, occasionally looking across at me with a look of suspicion, but she didn't say anything. Neither would she hold my hand.

Still we slipped into the deserted Potions classroom

The Potions classroom was dark and quiet. Somewhere, somebody had left a tap on and the staccato 'drip, drip' reverberated around the room, but there was no time to worry about that now.

"Sit there,"I told her shortly, indicating one of the old and scratched wooden benches.

Shivering, but silent, she climbed up and sat on the desktop so that I could see the dust on the soles of her feet as she hugged her knees to her body in an effort to keep warm.

Little feet. I remember them wrapped around my hips, clutching my body against hers, but wasn't that why we were here now?

A part of me felt as if I had walked into some bizarre dream. It seemed an insult to my own intelligence, to overlook something such as this, but I knew if I was brutally honest to myself this consequence had never even occurred to me. At least, not until about twenty minutes ago, as I watched Laura heave over the sink in the girls bathroom, when it became horribly obvious. Maybe I shouldn't believe her, but then why would she lie? She'd clearly tried to conceal the truth. Even from me, I thought angrily. Even from me. And hadn't I a right to know about my own child, the next heir of Slytherin?

I worked deftly and quickly, in silence, partly because I didn't trust myself to speak, and partly because I was ever conscious of Professor Slughorn turning up at any moment. My reputation would be shattered.

Evidently, she felt the same way, for she maintained that silence, though she watched me closely as I raided the store cupboard for supplies.I lit the cauldron with a flick of my wand, sliced and crushed the ingredients for the potion and eventually, I handed her a small flask of liquid.

"It'll stop the sickness." I told her.

"Thank you for nothing." she mumbled, looking down at the stone floor.

"Why are you being like this?" I asked her, through clenched teeth, stepping closer and putting my hands on her shoulders to force her to look up at me.

For the first time, Laura actually looked furious.

"For a genius, Tom, you're remarkably stupid." she spat, trying to shake my hands off her, but I held on, digging my fingers in hard.

"You can't pretend I'm not part of your life now, Laura." I hissed. "You'll have to listen to me now."

"I don't have to listen to anything you say. And I won't, either."

She pushed me away and slid off the desk, still holding the potion.

"Why don't you make something to sort this out properly?" she said suddenly

" Or is this the best you can do?" she held up the flask contemptuously. "Because even if I'm not being sick, I'm still….." she stopped short, clearly unwilling to say the word, as if the admission would stamp upon it a seal of finality.

"Sort it out? 'Properly'?" I said. "And what is that meant to mean?"

Laura had her hand on the door handle. She turned back to look at me.

"Tom, there's another potion….but it's incredibly difficult, and….."

"No potion is too difficult for me." I cut her off.

"I know," she replied and raised one black eyebrow, biting her lip nervously as she continued, "So……… why don't you make it for me?"

I narrowed my eyes. "And…… what Potion, exactly, are we discussing?" I asked coldly, feeling that I knew the answer already.

She paused, as if testing my powers of deduction. Then she drew in a long breath and said:

"The Terminus Potion.I don't want to have it. I can't."

O O O O O

"No."

Laura looked up at me sharply, a note of panic obvious in her eyes, through the glaze of lack of sleep.

"What do you mean, 'no'?" she whispered.

I folded my arms.

"I meant no. And to clarify, that 'no' means that yes, I am more than capable of making the damn potion, having made it before-" I stopped as Laura gasped in horror.

"Not for the results of my doing, stupid girl!" I hissed. "For Malfoy, of course. And some of the other Seventh year idiots. For the right price. Because I can. Because what do I care for Malfoy or Zabini's bastards? But not for you. No. Not for my child."

"It's not just your child, though, is it, Tom?" Laura said weakly. "And it's out of the question. I can't have it. I'll be the laughing stock. My father….he'd kill me. I'd be spat at in the street. Do you know what I would be called? The names they have for unwed mothers? Even in the Wizarding world?"

I glared at her.

"Marry me, then." I said.

"What?"

"Marry me.You could…help me, with what I'm doing. You could be part of it too."

"I can't…….." she spluttered. "Don't be absurd. Of course I can't marry you. We're still at school, which makes both of your propositions more than a little unrealistic, unless you have momentarily lost touch with reality. And no, I don't want to be part of whatever it is you're doing, because it's very unlikely to be anything decent or honest, as I found out. So no. I won't marry you. Even if you begged me." she said bitterly, shoving back angrily the loose hair which had fallen in her face.

I stared at her and she stared straight back at me, an unspoken challenge, for a very long moment. Part of me wanted to curse her, slap her, hurt her, but another part wanted to reach out and promise her the world, that everything was going to be all right, because I could look after her, take her away from the cruel world and cruel judgement and make our own rules. But I said nothing, just held her gaze until she lowered her eyes.

"Thank you," she whispered, raising the flask in her left hand slightly. "For the potion."

And with that, she opened the door and was gone.

To be continued...

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