The Random Megaman Parody Show
By: Metal Sonic EX
Disclaimer: I do not own the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.
Well, here we are again. And I'm happy to report that this parody isn't going to be done by the X series. It's going to be done by the classic Megaman crew. I saw the movie recently, so don't flame me if I become brain-dead on some things that I might of forgotten already. Enjoy!
Parody #3
A Parody of The Amityville Horror
By: The Classic Megaman series
(Megaman, Protoman, and Bass are touring through a house in Amityville. The salesperson is Wily in disguise.)
Wily - And here, we have the kitchen. That brings us to the end of our tour. Any questions?
Bass - COOL! A butcher knife!
(Bass removes it from the knife rack thing and begins twirling it in the air.)
Protoman - Knock that off! You're going to…
(Bass twirls the knife one more and it gets stuck in the ceiling like a pencil.)
Bass - Oops.
Megaman - Yeah. I have two questions. First, why are you dressed like that, Wily?
Wily - WHAT? I'M NOT WILY! WHO IS THIS WILY YOU SPEAK OF?
Megaman - Okay… Second, what's that giant blood stain over there from?
(Megaman points to a blood stain that takes up almost the whole wall. Wily runs over a nails a sheet over it.)
Wily - BLOOD STAIN? WHAT BLOOD STAIN? I DON'T SEE A BLOOD STAIN!
Bass - Whatever. We'll take it.
Protoman - Are you serious? We don't have nearly enough money!
Bass - -smashes his fist into his hand- I said we'll take it. I never mentioned paying for it.
(Megaman and Protoman shrug and proceed to help Bass beat Wily to a pulp. Wily crawls out of the front door and someone pulls him back in. He suddenly is punched through the roof and goes flying off into the distance.)
Protoman - Thanks, Wily!
(A couple of days later, all of their stuff is moved into the house. Dr. Light, Roll, Bass, Megaman, Protoman, and Auto are at the dinner table.)
Dr. Light - Did you know that a family was murdered in this house?
Roll - That's awful!
Dr. Light - That's true.
Auto - That's weird.
Megaman - That's sick.
Protoman - That's boring.
Bass - THAT'S AWESOME!
(Everyone stops eating and looks at Bass.)
Bass - What?
Narrator - That night…
(Bass is tossing and turning. Voices ring through his head.)
Voices - Catch them! Kill them! Catch them! Kill them!
Bass - -wakes up- YES! I WILL CATCH THEM! I WILL KILL THEM!
(Protoman turns on the lights. He, along with everyone else, has an annoyed look on their face.)
Protoman - What are you talking about?
Bass - I MUST OBEY THE VOICES!
(Bass runs past everybody and comes back in a few seconds with a mousetrap. He places it in the corner and backs up.)
Bass - Come on. Come on.
(A mouse pokes his nose out of the hole, see the mousetrap, sees the cheese on the mousetrap, and darts for it. It gets killed as it sniffs the cheese.)
Bass - YES!
(The voices start talking again, but this time, everyone can hear it.)
Voices - Thank you.
Protoman - Okay. Am I the only one who was creeped out by that?
Narrator - The next morning…
(Bass is investigating the boat house. He finds an ax in a boat.)
Bass - Who would leave this here?
(He turns around and a demon jumps at him. He attacks the demon as a reflex and hacks it to pieces.)
Bass - Die, demon, die!
Protoman - Hold it! Hold it! Script please!
Bass - What do you need the script for?
Protoman - -gets handed the script- Look at this. See, right here. You're supposed to kill the DOG which you think is a demon.
Bass - So?
(Protoman points at the ground and Bass sees Auto hacked to pieces by some sort of sharp metal blade.)
Bass - Oh. Ah, well. No one likes him anyways.
Protoman - -throws the script aside- The show must go on!
Narrator - That night…
(Everyone is eating dinner again and Bass asks Dr. Light a question.)
Bass - Dr. Light? What can you tell us about this murdered family?
Dr. Light - Well, some guy in the family shot everyone else while they slept with a shotgun. Later, he told officials that voices had told him to do it.
Protoman - Sounds like drugs to me.
Dr. Light - Perhaps, but the family were killed in the rooms that we are sleeping in.
Bass - Well, that explains this.
(Bass leans over a lifts a severed hand so that everyone can see it.)
Bass - Found this under my pillow last night. I found it because some psychotic fairy thing claiming to be the Tooth Fairy was lifting my pillow trying to grab it.
Dr. Light. - So, where is she now?
Bass - Back in her own world. I cut off her hand too.
(Bass holds up another severed hand. However, this one appears to have been chewed off rather than cut off.)
Megaman - Right… Hey, guys? Have any of you seen Auto?
Roll - No.
Dr. Light - No.
Bass - No.
Protoman - Bass hacked him to death with an ax.
Bass - Did not!
Protoman - Do you recognize this?
(Protoman lifts an ax with miscellaneous wires and such on the blade.)
Bass - Hey! I recognize that! That's the ax I used to… Oops.
Roll - How could you Bass? I thought you loved me!
(Roll lifts Ring Man who is still sitting in the ring box Bass used to propose to her.)
-Flashback-
Bass - Roll Light, will you marry me?
Roll - -gets all teary-eyed-
(Bass opens the ring box and Roll starts when she sees Ring Man sitting there.)
Roll - What the…
Ring Man - I was forced to do this. I swear.
-End Flashback-
Ring Man - I still say that I was forced to do this.
Bass - Oh my God! It was in the script, people! Don't you ever read it?
(Everyone, Ring Man included, shakes their heads.)
Megaman - No. Only people who still live in the 70's do that. Why? Do you read them?
Bass - What if I do…
Megaman - Hippie.
Narrator - Even later that night…
(Bass is hearing the voices again.)
Voices - Catch them! Kill them! Catch them! Kill them!
Bass - Is it another mouse?
Voices - Catch them! Kill them! Catch them! Kill them!
Bass - I'll take that as a no.
Voices - Catch them! Kill them! Catch them! Kill them!
Bass - Screw this! I'm going to the basement.
Narrator - In the basement…
Bass - Thank God! No more of that 'Catch them! Kill them!' crap! I wonder what they mean in the first place?
(A Pikachu walks in for no reason.)
Pikachu - Pikachu.
Bass - -slaps face- Of course! THAT'S what they meant!
(Bass begins chasing the Pikachu all over the basement,)
Narrator - The next day…
(Dr. Light opens the door wearing a white robe and pink bunny slippers. He makes his way down the stairs, his slippers squeaking with every step. When he reaches the edge of the driveway, he bends over and grabs the newspaper, farting in the process. He squeaks his way back in the house and walks into the kitchen. The butcher knife from the beginning of the chapter falls from the ceiling and nails Dr. Light in the head. He falls down, dead as Roll enters the room.)
Roll - Aw, he's so cute when he's sleeping!
Megaman - Roll, he's like seventy years old!
Roll - So?
Protoman - Hey guys! He's not sleeping. He's dead!
Roll/ Megaman - What!
(Bass walks in and sees the three huddled around Dr. Light's body.)
Bass - Huh?
(Bass sees the butcher knife in Dr. Light's head.)
Bass - Hey, cool! I've been wondering where that is!
(Bass removes the knife from Dr. Light's head.)
Protoman - What are you going to do with that?
Bass - You know those voices that keep saying 'Catch them! Kill them!'?
Protoman - Yeah…
(Pikachu peeks his head into the room, but freaks and runs away when he sees Bass. Bass starts walking after it.)
Bass - Finally figured out what that meant.
Narrator - Meanwhile, outside…
(Wily is aiming a giant laser at the house.)
Wily - I'll show you who's boss!
(Wily fires a shot and the house blows up.)
Wily - Ha ha. That'll teach you to mess with me!
(Wily turns around and sees Dr. Light, Megaman, Roll, Bass, and Protoman in the front seat of a U-haul.)
Bass - Told you he's crazy.
Wily - WHAT! BUT, I JUST……… THIS CAN'T BE……… YOU CHEATERS!
Dr. Light - We're not cheaters, Wily. We just took longer than expected to gather all of our stuff. Those were just stunt doubles, clones, or something like that.
Wily - I HATE YOU ALL!
(Wily runs away, crying. He doesn't see the twinkle in the air and the butcher knife lands in Wily's head. He falls down, dead.)
Megaman - Wow. Talk about convenient.
Well, I don't know about you, but I found that pretty funny. Ah, well. Please Read and Review!