Hello! It's a Kaistern/Alfeegi one! Edited, cause fanfiction's quickedit does some weird stuff to spacing - hence the words stuck together, or separated and added to other words... etc.

Warnings: Suicidalness, angst, some shounen-ai, some fluff.

Dragon Knight Snippets

Kaistern was at his worst when drunk and alone. Just drunk wasn't enough, since he spent most of his time like that anyway, and when he was with someone he had the bad habit of pushing his worries to the back of his head and pretending the world was candy-coated. No, Kaistern alone and drunk was never a good combination.

The cool early-morning breeze was immensely refreshing on his warm face. The sun hadn't risen yet, would not for almost an hour, the world looking peaceful and calm as he looked at it from above with dull eyes, sitting on the balcony of one of the castle's towers. The trills and swells of songbirds filtered from below, but Kaistern wasn't up to enjoying the scenery or listening to sounds.

His stomach heaved painfully, and he turned to the side, alcohol and stomach acid burning the lining of his throat and mouth, intensifying the dizziness of his head twofold.

"Gross," he muttered weakly, leaning his head back, trying to slow his rapid breathing into something with less motion. When that appeared totake too long for his tastes, he lifted a trembling hand to unscrew another bottle of beer, the kind he kept stashed under his bed for consumption at times like these, and took a large swallow.

He struggled up, staggering against the wall for a couple seconds before regaining unsteady footing and looking over the balcony.

"I wonder… how long a drop that is…" he slurred, gazing unfocusedly at the ground. From here, the guards that stood at the castle entrance below him were no bigger than his thumb, and the guard dogs no more than his pinky.

"Would I have enough time to say I'm sorry before I hit the ground?" he wondered out loud, raising his knee to clamber over the edge. But the action threw him off balance and he fell backwards, back onto the floor. A ragged groan escaped his mouth, pale face stained pink by a steady flush. He forced his body to sit up, leaning once again against the wall.

Glazed lemon-colored eyes gazed at the ceiling, not quite seeing the ceiling lightening on the verge of the coming sun, going from midnight black to a dawning gray, lost in thought as his hand mechanically raised and lowered to supply his body with more numbing alcohol.

That was how Alfeegi found him an hour later, half conscious and trying to coax the last drop of beer from the bottle, mumbling incoherencies.

For a moment, he wasn't sure what to do, and could only stare as lemon eyes gazed blankly at him. Sudden fear rose in his throat, along with traces of bile and a hitched breath.

"'Feegi?"

The weakened whisper sounded like a plea for help, and Alfeegi was broken out of his trance and rushed to him, prying the empty bottle away from him as quickly as possible without hurting him. His heart was drumming uncontrollably, urging his body faster.

"Kaistern? What are you doing here? You had everyone worried," he scolded shakingly, fear making his voice sharper that it should have. His hands seemed to be on autopilot, urgently checking Kaistern over, sighing with relief as he saw that his body was for the most part, intact. God forbid it would be like last time, Alfeegi thought, glancing at the albino's wrists, where the scars were still visible.

"Feegi, guess what?" Alfeegi wasn't sure he wanted to hear. Kaistern had that dangerous habit of playing things down when he was with others, and when drunk it was even worse, "I tried to jump off the balcony, but I fell back and couldn't."

Alfeegi wanted to cry and slap Kaistern at the same time for saying something like that with that innocently cheerful smile, with that disappointed tone in his voice, like a little kid who'd tried to catch a butterfly only to have it flutter away at the last moment.

Instead, he gazed directly into Kaistern's eyes, light-lemon eyes colored dark by worry and despair, frantic underneath their dullness, glazed over by the toxic grip of alcohol.

"Come here," he murmured, pulling Kaistern over carefully, aware of the heat radiating from his skin, the nauseated groan that slipped from his lips at the motion, though Alfeegi tried to make it as slow as possible.

He waited, letting Kaistern get a grip of the situation. Soon, the soothing strokes Alfeegi's hand was tracing on his back and the coaxing murmurs would make him break down and talk. Sure enough, there came a rasping sob that racked through his thin frame, and his grip tightened on Alfeegi's shirt.

"I don't know, Feeg, there's just something wrong…" his voice cracked, and Alfeegi closed his eyes, pressing the lithe officer's body closer. He was surprised at how small Kaistern really was, there was just something about his personality that made him seem bigger and stronger…

"M' family… are all dead, the last one died a couple months ago. And Rath hates me, and I screwed up on the last mission at Chantel… And other stuff too… guess most of 'em are just lil things," he laughed deprecatingly, "But they still hurt…" he gave the barest shake of his head, before continuing in a drunken voice, "I'm just so tired…"

It was unnerving to see Kaistern like this. It felt so unreal to Alfeegi,to seehis constantly smiling friend so depressed and broken down.

Kaistern's head lolled forward, bumping his forehead onto Alfeegi's jaw, as he groaned softly, "I feel sick."

"Have you been here all night?" sunset eyes focused on the dawning horizon, waiting for the hesitant nod against his chest before sighing, "Come on."

Lifting Kaistern carefully into his arms, Alfeegi stood, leaving the balcony and empty bottles behind him. Kaistern's breath on his neck was uneven, his eyes half-lidded and unresponsive. His face fit comfortably on the crook of his neck, even if the skin was uncomfortably warm.

"I didn't even think you could pick me up, much less carry me…" Kaistern muttered absently, his voice strained like stretched-out plastic, "Where…?"

"Your room. You can sleep today off if you want. In fact, you better do."

The light-haired officer was silent, feeling the rise and fall of his steps, raising his hand to his mouth only to find that there was no bottle in it.

"I'm sorry," he muttered.

Alfeegi glanced at him, his sharp words contradicted by the sadness in his eyes, "Sorry I found you or sorry you didn't get to jump?" the silent response was enough for the White Officer to know he'd hit the mark, "Why don't you talk to us? Don't you know," he swallowed before continuing, "how worried you make us?"

"I'm sorry," Kaistern repeated, looking away dejectedly, "I guess I just didn't want… this," he motionedat him and Alfeegi.

"We would much rather listen to your problems than find you dead," Alfeegi snapped nervously. He didn't mean to, but the sickening feeling in his stomach, the ice block that formed every time he remembered the last time, and imagined what had almost happened this time, was enough to send his sensitivity out the window, replaced with bitter fear.

"Who do you have?" Kaistern looked him in the eye, and Alfeegi deciphered the hidden question- Who do I have?

"Kaistern, I have you and Ruwalk and Rune and Tetheus, and everyone else. And you have me and Tetheus to talk to at the least. And Rath, Ruwalk and Lykouleon would give their lives to help you, too. You're not alone, you can talk to us. You don't have to be perfect," his voice choked, "I thought you'd understood that last time."

Somehow, Alfeegi managed to open Kaistern's bedroom door without upsetting the half-conscious man in his arms, taking just as much care when easing him into bed, slipping his shirt over pale, frail-looking shoulders.

"Kaistern… when did you get so thin?" He didn't remember the light-haired officer looking so skinny last time he'd seen him…

Kaistern offered a weak smile, "'M not starving myself, if that's what you're thinkin'"

Alfeegi would have rather had Kaistern turn violent on him for making such a suggestion than having him smile so deprecatingly as he scoffed the notion. It tore at him, it hurt… out of all their fellow coworkers, Kaistern was the one Alfeegi loved the most. It hurt every time he saw him come back from a mission, wounded and weary. It hurt to see how Rath was everything to him, while he would forever remain the nagging workmate. And Alfeegi had told himself that it wouldn't hurt to tell Kaistern his feelings, but right now, he doubted the Blue Officer could take a declaration of love to add to his list of confusions.

"We can talk later," Alfeegi whispered, drawing the covers around Kaistern, stroking back soft, snowy strands of hair from his forehead. Kaistern sighed lightly, opting to close his eyes instead of responding.

Alfeegi took his friend's hand in his, noting with a soft smile as Kaistern pressed it closer to himself, and only once he was sure that he was asleep did Alfeegi lean down to kiss him gently.

He might still get drunk, but Alfeegi promised he wouldn't be alone anymore.

Aw :huggles Kaistern and Feegi: ... I don't know where this came from... I kinda like how it turned out though. Hm... there should be more Kaistern/Alfeegi-ness... Cairnsy's (?) Kiss Kiss is an excellent Alfeegi/Kaistern fic.

Aquajogger:Laughs: I'll do my best to not inflict creepyness like that on anyone again.

Kage Ohkami: Oh yes, the kiss part was my favorite too.

Puppy: Markers and a sleeping anyone always means trouble. I think I'm addicted to kaistern/Tetheus... Gillaam is infinitely cuter though...

Angstluver: Apparently a little threat is what gets people to review... maybe I should simply do that for all the chapters, cause it's not that much, and according to the hits, there's more than enough ppl reading the fics for me to hold them hostage a bit. But yeah, fast turnover, I was surprised too.

Lost and Far Away: We did that to my dad... it was sooo funny, cause he had to go to work... and it was permanent marker... go try it out!

Thanks for reviewing! Don't know what the next one will be... I'll figure it out...