The Random Megaman Parody Show
By: Metal Sonic EX
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.
Okay, problem… In the last chapter, I accidentally stopped the chapter a bit short. Instead of stopping after the fifth chapter, I cut it off after the forth. So, this will be a three-part parody. Here's the outline:
Chapter 9 - Chapters 1 - 4
Chapter 10 - Chapters 5 - 8
Chapter 11 - Chapters - Chapters 9 & 10; Backtracking for Items; The Tail Clan Battles
I'd like to inform you that I've beaten everybody in the entire game EXCEPT Ninetails. The little booger wipes the floor with two of my party members, brings them back to life, and wipes the floor with all three of them. Oh well… Ah! Enough of my ranting! Here's chapter ten!
Parody #9
A Parody of Megaman X: Command Mission
By: The X series
-Chapter Five-
(X and the gang head to the Ulfat Factory because Redips called and said that he picked up a signal that might be Zero. They all enter a room where an odd Mechaniloid is beeping.)
Spider - Wait! No one move!
(The room becomes red as the Mechaniloid begins flying around the room. Massimo starts twitching slightly.)
Massimo - Guys! My nose itches!
Marino - No! Don't!
Massimo - I can't take it!
(Massimo scratches his nose madly, setting off an alarm in the process.)
Massimo - Whoops...
(After an unwanted battle with Preons, they continue on until they walk past a walkway with a wall of crates on either side. An odd reploid jumps down.)
Reploid - Calm down. It's only me.
(In a white flash of light, the reploid changes to...)
X - Axl!
(Axl waves and begins walking towards X and Spider. However, with every step, Axl moves forward a millimeter.)
X - Um... Axl...
Axl - Don't worry! I'm-a coming!
Spider- Screw it! We don't have time for this.
(X and Spider leave as Axl continues to walk abnormally slow after them.)
Axl - Wait! Get back here! Ungrateful bastards!
(The group continues on until they come to a hallway where reploids have been killed with a saber. The factory manager, Mach Jentra, looks at a monitor in another room as Zero walks down a hallway towards Jentra.)
Jentra - Stop him! The intruder must not gain entry!
Reploid - It's no use! Breakthrough imminent! AH!
(The door behind Jentra opens seconds after an explosion is heard on the other line. Jentra turns to look at Zero.)
Jentra - What's with the explosion?
Zero - Explosion? What explosion?
(The scene changes to a room where reploids are running around in a frenzy as the wall is blown in. For no absolute reason, Robocop walks in and draws a pair of Uzi's.)
Robocop - All your base belong to me, bitch!
(Robocop proceeds to shoot everyone in the head.)
Jentra - Whatever...
(As X and the group approach where Jentra and Zero are fighting, Jentra becomes victorious and Zero is thrown back to the wall.)
Jentra - What happened to all of your spunk?
Zero - Bite me.
(X suddenly comes running through the door in slow motion as some melodramatic music starts playing.)
Zero - X!
Jentra - Curses! Ah well. I'm outta here. I hear that they've got a sale on crackers at Wal-Mart!
(Jentra flies into a hole in the ceiling as an alarm starts blaring.)
Alarm - Warning! Evacuate all personal! Duboar is being activated.
X - What's Duboar?
Zero - I think it's Jentra's pet robot thing.
(X and the group, now joined by Zero, head into the final room and Jentra begins laughing uncontrollably.)
Zero - What's with you? Do you have some sort of laughing disorder or something?
Jentra - Don't worry. You'll perish in this factory first!
Zero - Talk about changing the subject...
(The battle begins and it is Jentra's turn. He attacks with 'Super Hold Gum'.)
X - No! The sheer amount of chewing gum is reducing my speed by twenty-five percent!
(After a major beatdown of Jentra, he begins laughing weakly.)
Jentra - Fools. If I die, Dubour will go berserk. Out of...
(Jentra blows up a few seconds too early and several berserk Preons begin marching towards the group. After defeating a few waves, Axl walks in, slow as ever, changes into Jentra, and distracts Dubour long enough for it's destruction.)
Zero - Where have you been, Axl?
Axl - Trying to catch up with this loser!
X - It's not my fault that you walk too slow.
(A.N. About now, I'll tell whoever's reading this to stop where they are if they haven't gotten this far in the game yet. A lot of stuff is about to happen and I don't want to spoil anything for you.)
-Chapter Six-
(Zero has a fit about Spider and the others, thus storms off. R gets a transmission from Redips and enters the main room of the base to find an odd spectacle. X is at a podium while the others are surrounding him. Nana glances at R.)
R - What the…
Nana - Don't ask...
X - The Anti-Mettaur Club is now in session! -bangs gavel-
(After the meeting, the group is sent to Gimialla Mine where it is said that Epsilon is mining Force Metal there. The group enters a random battle and see a Silver Mettaur sitting there.)
X - Mettaur Maulers! Go!
(After slaughtering the innocent Mettaur, the group runs into… Dun dun duh! Shadow!)
X - You!
Shadow - I can tell. You've come for the Supra-Force Metal, haven't you?
X - What?
Shadow - Never mind. I'll kill you anyways!
(The battle begins and Shadow assumes a battle stance.)
Shadow - I'll tear you all into little pieces!
Cinnamon - Yay! Sushi!
(After beating Shadow, Zero makes his melodramatic appearance.)
Zero - Let's do this Maverick!
(A new battle begins.)
Shadow - I'll tear you all into little pieces!
Cinnamon - Yay! More sushi!
Spider - That's it… We're dumping her.
(Shadow is defeated and, as X and Zero converse, Shadow attempts a sneak attack. However, Spider jumps in front of it, takes the blast, and throws a card at him, finishing Shadow once and for all.)
Zero - You've earned my respect, Spider.
Spider - I'm so giddy…
(There continue on until they come to a locked door. They blow it in and almost immediately get swept into a random battle. A huge, and I mean HUGE, Mettaur sits in front of them.)
Zero - What's this?
Spider - They call it a Mettaur Gigant.
Zero - Okay…
(They defeat the Mettaur Gigant and continue until they find a red mining Degraver. It's complaining about it's pickax.)
Degraver - Toll malfunction. Tool malfunction.
Axl - Whatever.
(The group enter as nearby door and find an inactive Degraver lying on the ground, face-down.)
X - Well, that explains it.
Cinnamon - Eek! Psycho killer! Run away!
(Again, they continue on until they come across a door that says: 'This door is protected by three guardians. No one may pass without permission.')
X - Permission, huh?
Spider - You know what that means!
Marino - Mass genocide! Awesome!
(After 'persuading' the guardians to let them pass, they enter the door and a reploid floats down from the ceiling.)
Reploid - Behold! I am Incentas!
Zero - Let's just get to the killing.
(The boss battle begins.)
Incentas - Come and get what's coming to you!
X - You've got that all mixed up!
(Incentas immediately changes from a fire-type to a water-type. He starts dancing around.)
X - Reminds you of Jango, doesn't it?
Spider - Don't remind me.
(The battle goes pretty much without incident until the good guys win. Incentas begins pressing his palms against a screen and an alarm blares.)
Incentas - You're all about to die! See ya!
Spider - -begins pushing Incentas towards the locked door- Time to make my melodramatic exit. See ya losers!
X - Spider!
(Spider blows himself and Incentas up and the alarm suddenly stops.)
Massimo - What the…
(Everyone hears a 'ding' noise. They look over and see a toaster with a timer by it.)
X - No one is to speak of this moment again.
-Chapter Seven-
(R walks into the base again and sees the same odd spectacle.)
R - How's the Anti-Mettaur Club?
X - Actually, we're now known as the Mettaur Haters Society.
R - Um… Okay…
(The group tries calling Redips and fails due to a transmission block. They are sent to the source of the block to eliminate this. The source is somewhere in the Vanallia Desert. They run into a random battle and, for the first time, meet a Meltdown. Three turns later, Meltdown explodes, releasing a large shockwave.)
Axl - Run for it!
(The group runs from the shockwave and straight into quicksand. Ferham arrives and begins taunting Zero with her whip. Eventually, the group falls into the quicksand and fall into the base. After a long and tiring level, they use the elevator to go up to the control room. There, they meet the flying toad with jetpack buttcheeks.)
X - Oh no…
Toad - Hahahahaha! So you finally made it.
Marino - Who are you?
Toad - I am Botos.
X - Not another crappy name.
Botos - Oh, bite me! Ya see this?
(Botos holds up a piece of glowing metal.)
Botos - This small piece of Supra-Force Metal…
(Botos swallows the metal and takes flight.)
Botos - Produces this much power!
(The boss battle starts. Throughout the entire battle, Botos uses attacks involving music references. I.e. Battle Rhapsody, Battle Forte, Battle Allegro, etc. The good guys win and the Supra-Force Metal rolls over to X's foot. He picks it up as Botos starts speaking in a voice like he's trying to act, but is failing horribly.)
Botos - Oh… No! The… Precious Supra-Force Metal that… Epsilon gave me!
Zero - -holds up his saber- You-re a horrible actor.
Botos - Shucks! Looks like I've been beaten! This isn't the end!
(Botos escapes via nearby teleporter and the good guys return to base.)
(A.N. You can probably tell, this chapter doesn't have that much stuff for me to make fun of.)
-Chapter Eight-
(For the third time, R enters the base and sees the infamous podium.)
R - Now what?
X - All right, Mettaur Maulers! We have succeeded in committing mass Mettaur genocide!
Crowd - Yay!
X - Our new target is that of the Preon. Now, behind me is a projector. Nana, your assistance please. Now, what would you do with this?
(Nana clicks the little button thing and a picture of a banana comes up.)
Crowd - Eat!
X - Good. And this?
(Nana clicks the button again and a shirt comes up.)
Crowd - Wear!
X - Good. And finally, what would you do with this?
(Nana clicks the button one more time and a number of Preons appear.)
Crowd - Slaughter! Maim! Destroy!
X - Excellent! With that, this meeting of the Anti-Preon Posse is now adjourned! -bangs gavel-
R - Right…
(X and the group are sent to the Melda Ore Plant to investigate the source of the Supra-Force Metal. As soon as they exit the teleporter, they run into a random battle. A frozen Degraver stands not-to-far away from them. Cinnamon uses a Warm-Up on his and Degraver 'appears grateful'.)
X - Grateful, huh?
Massimo - We'd better fix that!
(After maiming the Degraver, they enter the plant. They immediately find a locked door which Massimo knocks down. Inside, the find a mutated creature.)
Mutated Creature - Prepare to feel the wrath of Duckbill Mole!
Marino - Duckbill Mole?
(The boss battle begins and Duckbill Mole uses a fire attack on himself, increasing his offensive and defensive strength. Duckbill Mole quickly perishes and Zero achieves the Absolute Zero armor.)
Zero - Hell yeah! I kick major ass chin!
Sigma - -walks in- Stop saying that! The Sailor Moon Parody is long gone!
Zero - Bite me! Or, even better… I'll bite you!
(Zero beats the crap out of Sigma and the group continues on their way. Eventually, they run into a familiar toad with jetpack buttcheeks.)
X - Botos!
Botos - X! You're early!
Zero - We know all about the missile you have!
Botos - Missile? How do you know about…
(Massimo holds up a sign that says 'Supra-Force Metal missile this way'.)
Botos - Oh… But you still need the two keys to open the warhead!
Zero - Then I guess we'll just take it from you!
Botos - You really think it's that simple, do ya?
(The boss battle starts and one attack, repeat, ONE FREAKING ATTACK later, Botos is defeated. I mean, come on! The guy has three health! Anyone who loses to that should be shot in the head!)
X - Yeah. We really think that.
Botos - This isn't over! -runs away-
(They continue on until they find Botos again. He makes a copy of himself and plays a little shell game. Once the group defeats him, they run into again. He does the same thing, only faster. Again, Botos loses and the group eventually run into Ferham.)
Ferham - Line up, boys. I'll make sure that each one of you gets it!
(The boss battle starts and with the advanced Hyper Modes for X and Zero, they beatdown on Ferham. Every time that they inflict a critical hit, Ferham screams at the top of her lungs. Once she is beaten, she falls out of the air and plummets down to the ground about four stories below her. Axl suddenly starts.)
Axl - Wait! The key! We've got to go get the key!
(Axl, being the lovable oaf that we all love to hate, jumps over the railing and also plummets four stories. X shrugs and they make their way down to Ferham.)
X - Where's the key?
Ferham - Hrgh! Botos…
Zero - You've got to be kidding me!
Axl - Hey, guys!
X - Where have you been?
Axl - Falling to the ground. Where else?
(X and the group begin making their way back up to Botos and, about halfway there, Botos is killed by Spider, who appeared out of nowhere. When the group gets up to the top, they find what remains of the toad with jetpack buttcheeks.)
Zero - He's dead…
X - I really didn't know that, Zero! He's only missing his head!
Zero - Oh, right… Sorry…
Well, that was shorter than expected… Ah well. Anyways, in the next chapter, we'll finish going through the ten chapters and then we'll make fun of each and every one of the Tail Clan battles. And that brings a good point.
See the introductory statements at the top of the page? I wrote those on 6/21/05. See the stuff you're reading now? I wrote this on 6/23/05. Why am I telling you this? Because on 6/22/05, I defeated the bastard Ninetails! He didn't even see his own ass get beaten!
Anyways, I can now make fun of him to my hearts desire. Also, Read and Review because you'll probably want to see what I make him do in the next chapter. Wink wink! Hint hint!