The Random Megaman Parody Show
By: Metal Sonic EX
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.
I'm back! And this chapter is going to be pumped full of humor, laughs, giggles, random behavior, and even a guffaw or two! Plus, it's probably going to be one of my longer chapters ever! Now, I've recently seen the movie, so I shouldn't get anything wrong. And finally, this was inspired by a piece of fan artwork from Check it out, they've got some funny stuff there. And so, here's my tenth parody!
Parody #10
A Parody of Indiana Jones
By: The Classic series
(The scene is a blank room that goes on forever. Megaman pokes his head in before coming into full-view.)
Megaman - Hello. I am Megaman. The original Megaman.
(Suddenly, Eminem's 'The Real Slim Shady' begins playing and Megaman sings along, just replacing 'Slim Shady' with 'Megaman'. Just when it gets annoying, a ball is thrown and hits Megaman in the head. The music scratches.)
Megaman - Ow!
Protoman - -from offstage- Just get to the point!
Megaman - Fine! Fine! I'm afraid to say that there will be no parody this time round because the star of it hasn't shown up yet.
(Suddenly, Snake Man runs up.)
Snake Man - Sorry I'm late! My plane from Video Game Village got shot down.
Megaman - Right… Hey! Wait a sec! You're Indiana Jones?
Snake Man - Yeah. So?
Megaman - How's that going to work out?
Snake Man - Well, it was either me or Frost Man, but we have a policy on no smoking.
Megaman - Smoking?
-Flashback-
Metal Sonic EX - Congratulations! You're our new Indiana Jones!
Frost Man - Yay!
(Suddenly, Wood Man walks by. Frost Man picks him up and pops him into his mouth headfirst.)
Wood Man - Let me out of here! It smells like cabbage!
(Suddenly, Heat Man walks by. Frost Man picks him up and uses him as a lighter to set Wood Man on fire.)
Heat Man - Why you… That's it! I quit!
(Wood Man no longer makes a sound as Frost Man begins smoking him as a cigarette.)
Metal Sonic EX - On second thought, I'll call you.
-End Flashback-
Megaman - Right…
Snake Man - From what I've heard, he did get another part though.
Megaman - Really? What?
Snake Man - Who knows. Anyways, parody is going to start soon. So I've got to go get dressed. -leaves-
Megaman - Right. Okay, my bad. We are going to have a parody and it's going to be fun. You're going to like it or you'll die. We do have snipers watching you and if you don't like it, even for a second, BANG! No more you.
Protoman - Getting a little crazy there, eh?
Megaman - Just a little…
(The scene fades out and the parody begins. The new setting is a jungle. A man in a suit, Megaman, Toad Man, and Top Man are all walking through the jungle. Top Man cuts down some bushes and Guts Man is standing there with his tongue out. This causes Top Man to cry out in fright.)
Snake Man - Guts Man? Why are you standing there like that?
Guts Man - -sounds very weird- I burnt my tongue while eating hot soup.
Snake Man - So, why are you in the jungle?
(A brief silence follows.)
Guts Man - It was hot monkey soup.
(Megaman smacks his face and the group moves onwards. The eventually come to a shallow river where Snake Man bends over and begins cleaning his face. Crash Man walks up behind him, draws a gun, cocks it, and gets whipped across the face thanks to Snake Man.)
Crash Man - -knocked out-
Snake Man - I swear that I did that better during rehearsal.
(Again, the group continues. They eventually come across a cave opening with a sign by it. It reads: Big Spooky Cave - straight ahead. Quick Shortcut Without Peril - to your left, then go forward for about two miles, then head east.)
Snake Man - Come on. This way. -walks towards cave entrance-
Toad Man - Shouldn't we take the shortcut?
Snake Man - They'll be expecting that…
Toad Man - Who's 'they'?
Snake Man - Do you know… The muffin man?
Toad Man - The muffin man?
Snake Man - The muffin man!
Toad Man - Oh…
(The group, save Megaman who ran away like a little girl and Toad Man who is standing guard, enter the cave and Snake Man pauses when he sees a pillar of light. He brushes his hand through it and a wall of spikes crashes into a nearby wall. Ring Man is on the spikes. He turns to Snake Man.)
Ring Man - Howdy!
Snake Man - Okay…
(They move on and soon find the room with the golden statue in it. After quickly swapping the statue with a potato, a trap is activated and Snake Man makes a run for it. Along the way, poisonous arrows begin shooting from the walls on either side.)
Snake Man - Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
(When Snake Man gets back to Top Man, his body is covered in arrows. Snake Man spins around and his body is as good as new.)
Top Man - How'd you…
Snake Man - No time for questions! Move!
(After being betrayed by Top Man, Snake Man escapes a trap, finds Top Man's dead body, takes the statue back, and runs into a long hallway. Suddenly, a noise from above him catches his attention.)
Snake Man - Frost Man?
Frost Man - -curled up like a ball- Hi. Oh boy…
(Seeing as this is a famous movie scene and that in a fan-made video that the author, Metal Sonic EX, has seen, this is the demented parody of that scene. Snake Man begins running for his life as the Frost Man boulder begins chasing him.)
Frost Man - Popsicle! Popsicle! Popsicle! Popsicle! Popsicle!
(Eventually, Frost Man gets stuck in a hole and Snake Man narrowly escapes. Suddenly, Dr. Wily walks up and Snake Man notices Toad Man. He falls down with a knife in his back.)
Snake Man - That knife… I think that I've seen it somewhere before…
(Suddenly, a Master Tonberry, who was about to stab a statue of Snake Man, hides his knife and scuttles off.)
Snake Man - Okay… That had nothing to do with Indiana Jones, but I guess that's fine.
(At this time, Snake Man notices the half-naked natives pointing their arrows at him.)
Snake Man - Oh boy…
Wily - The statue…
(Snake Man reluctantly hands it over and he soon makes a break for it. Wily motions that the natives should follow and kill him and they run off.)
Wily - Soon the world will be mine! Mwahahaha… -CRACK!- Ow! My back! My… Someone help me! Please!)
Narrator - Meanwhile, on a nearby plane…
(Megaman is sitting on the biplane while fishing in a stream.)
Megaman - This is so… Hey! I caught something!
Bass - This is not funny!
(Suddenly, Snake Man appears and Megaman stands up, releasing his 'catch of the day'.)
Megaman - What the…
Snake Man - Start the damn plane!
(Suddenly, all of the natives pop up and Megaman immediately starts the plane. Snake Man runs up, jumps, and grabs a vine as the Indiana Jones theme begins playing. When Snake Man lets go, instead of falling in the water, he falls onto the small embankment. The Indiana Jones theme continues playing anyways.)
Snake Man - That didn't go quite as I had planned…
(Snake Man jumps into the water and swims over to the plane as it begins to take off and the natives start shooting arrows at him. Snake Man climbs into the front seat of the plane as he looks back at the natives while putting on goggles.)
Snake Man - I'm glad that I got out of there.
Megaman - Why? They've only got bows and arrows, right?
(To Megaman's surprise, the natives then pull out a bazooka.)
Snake Man - Wrong.
(As the plane takes off, the duo barely manage to avoid the rocket that the natives fired. In the air, Snake Man looks down and gasps.)
Snake Man - Megaman! There's a big snake in the plane!
Megaman - Um… That's you.
Snake Man - Oh… Right… We'll never speak of this again.
(After landing, Snake Man and some random professor are brought into the assembly hall.)
Snake Man - You called?
Megaman - Yes! And it's about damn time I got this off of my chest! Look at this!
(Megaman points to his lower torso.)
Snake Man - So…
Megaman - So? So I've been forced to go through God knows how many games while wearing… Iron panties!
(A.N. This was somewhat my idea. It's just that my friend 'forced' me to add this. Seeing as he's about twice as tall as me, I had to do it.)
Snake Man - Come again?
Megaman - You heard me! Iron panties! I've been forced to wear these damn things through all of my games, and yet look at the X series! He gets a new pair of them every game! Sometimes, he even gets two!
Snake Man - Are you feeling all right?
Megaman - No! I'm not done complaining yet! As for the staff at Capcom, either give me a new pair of iron panties in upcoming games or at least give me an explanation!
Narrator - One long and boring explanation later…
Megaman - Oh… Well. I guess I'll just go Oh! And these guys want you to find this ark for them. Bye! -leaves-
(As Snake Man and the random professor walk away, they begin to converse.)
Random Professor - Did you understand any of that?
Snake Man - I heard 'money'.
(The scene changes to a long time later in some bar in Russia. A female, Roll, and an ordinary, everyday drunk are in the middle of an intense staring contest. Suddenly, the drunkard falls backwards and everyone begins paying Roll.)
Roll - What losers. They can't last three minutes with me.
(After Snake Man arrives and a long conversation follows, the conversation comes to a close.)
Roll - Come back tomorrow.
Snake Man - Why?
Roll - Because we just closed.
(Snake Man shrugs and leaves. Suddenly, several bad guys walk in. They consist of Nameless Idiot 1, Nameless Idiot 2, Nameless Idiot 3, and Cloud Man. After some brief conversing, Snake Man reappears and they get into a bar fight. Shortly after the fight starts, a fire is started and Snake Man continues to fire an abnormal amount of bullets.)
Nameless Idiot 2 - Wait, how are you able to fire so many rounds?
Snake Man - It's called Unlimited Ammo Cheat, bitch!
(After escaping the bar and defeating the bad guys, Roll joins Snake Man. After going to Cairo, getting a room, and befriending a monkey, they head to the town square. Suddenly, the monkey runs away.)
Roll - My monkey's getting away! Someone grab my monkey!
(Everyone just stare at her and they continue on. Suddenly, Roll and Snake Man become separated and several villains wearing turbans appear. Flame Man is their leader.)
Flame Man - I can't believe I agreed to this.
(Snake Man just stands there as all of the villains try punching him, but end up punching their allies instead. Soon, all of the villains have knocked themselves unconscious.)
Snake Man - Villains are beyond stupid.
Narrator - Meanwhile, on the other side of town…
(Roll is running from the turbaned villains and hides inside a box. Unfortunately for her, the box is labeled 'This does not contain a person'. After the villains figure this out and begin taking the crate away, Snake Man runs into a clearing where Shadow Man stands. He withdraws his katana and begins doing death-defying feats with it. Snake Man gets annoyed, draws his gun, shoots Shadow Man, and watches as he deflects the bullet. However, he ends up blowing to pieces anyways. Snake Man shrugs, finds Roll's crate, and watches as the car transporting it is blown to pieces. Later, in a restaurant, another nameless idiot begins the meeting between him and Snake Man. Whew!)
Nameless Idiot - Come. Let us do this like civilized people.
(As Snake Man sits down, the two begin to cram food into their face. Afterwards, they converse and, just as the nameless idiot is about to harm Snake Man, dozens of squirrels run in and begin carrying him away.)
Nameless Idiot - You're lucky, Mr. Jones! Next time, you won't have your squirrels to save you!
(Later, at a secret hideout, Snake Man and an old friend, Hard Man, discover that the villains are looking in the wrong spot.)
Hard Man - I'm a little teapot, short and stoat! Here is my handle! Here is my spout!
Snake Man - Don't do that.
Hard Man - Wait! Look!
(The two look over and see Roll's monkey dead due to poisoned dates.)
Snake Man - Oh no! They poisoned my monkey!
(After sneaking into the temple, Snake Man begins to reveal where the ark is, but he dozes off. Suddenly, a loud noise awakens him and he looks at the miniature map of the city.)
Snake Man - Hmmm… I've got to find a a giant burn spot next to a coffee stain… Interesting…
(After emerging from the hole in the ground, Snake Man sneaks into a tent and finds Roll gagged and tied to a pole.)
Snake Man - Oh, it's just you. -leaves-
(Once Snake Man and Hard Man get a group put together, they begin digging and they soon fall into a hole as the ground collapses.)
Snake Man - Well, that's a stupid place to put a hole!
(Moments later, when the group exits the hole, everyone notices the spot they should've been digging in three feet away from them.)
Snake Man - What the fu…
Hard Man - Oh, look! A hawk!
(Finally, in the middle on an oncoming storm, they find a panel and open it. They peek inside and, when the lightning flashes, everyone sees the Mech Dragon from Megaman 2 is seen with an extremely creepy smile on.)
Snake Man - Now I'm scared.
(After noticing the ground is moving, Hard Man says something half-intelligent.)
Hard Man - I think the ground's moving.
(Snake Man grabs a torch and throws it into the pit. Then, it's revealed that the floor is covered in asps.)
Snake Man - Snakes. Why'd it have to be snakes?
Hard Man - But, you're snake.
Snake Man - That doesn't matter…
(Meanwhile, back in the tent, Wily has untied Roll and given her a nightgown with Winnie the Pooh on it. As Roll walks behind the wall thing to change, Wily, being the old perverted person that he is, looks in a mirror to watch here change. However, Roll's face is right next to his.)
Roll - NO PEEKING!
(Back at the excavation sight, Snake Man is dropped accidentally into the pit and comes face-to-face with an asp.)
Hard Man - See? I told you that you'd be alright!
Snake Man - Come down here and I'll show you how ALRIGHT I am!
(A canister is passed down to Snake Man and he squirts the snakes with it. He then throws a torch on them, but nothing happens.)
Snake Man - What is this?
Hard Man - It's my spray-on skin moisturizer. See how smooth my skin is?
(After Hard Man, with much difficulty, is lowered into the temple, he and Snake Man try to lift the lid off of the golden ark, but fail.)
Hard Man - Well, that sucks.
Snake Man - Yeah. This weighs more than your grandmother.
Hard Man - Hey!
Snake Man - What? Your grandma's so fat that when she weighs herself, the scale says 'to be continued'.
Hard Man - HEY!
Snake Man - Plus, your grandma's so ugly that it looks like she got hit in the face with a bag of 'what the fu…'
Hard Man - THAT'S IT!
(Hard Man picks up and throws Snake Man into the snake pit.)
Snake Man - You did remember that all of the snakes are dead, right?
Hard Man - Unfortunately, no.
(As Snake Man's group begin lifting the ark from the temple, Wily, Cloud Man, and Tengu Man watch this from their base.)
Cloud Man - Eh, it's probably nothing important.
Tengu Man - Hey, there were some guys lifting this box out of this hole. Should we be worried?
(As Snake Man goes to leave the pits, the rope is thrown in and a conversation between Snake Man and Wily takes place. Suddenly, a villain walks up with Roll and throws her towards the pit. However, she catches the edges with her hands and feet eagle-style.)
Wily - Okay, fine. Send in… Fat Albert!
Roll - NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!
Fat Albert - Hey hey hey!
(Roll willingly lets go and falls into the pit. Then, the bad guys push the panel over the hole to seal the two friends inside. However, the panel falls into the hole and crushed Snake Man.)
Tengu Man - Oh, boy. That's not good.
(After rescuing Snake Man from the panel and being sealed in, Snake Man climbs onto a statue in an attempt to break the nearby wall down with it. He drops at torch down to Roll. However, instead of catching it, she misses and her hair is set on fire. After putting her hair out and breaking down the wall, she hugs Snake Man.)
Roll - I can't believe that worked! Wait a sec…
(Roll looks up and sees that she hugged Ring Man instead.)
Ring Man - Howdy!
(An odd scene of Roll turning around and around begins, except instead of skeletons, she sees Barney, his friends, the Teletubbies, Mr. Rogers, and other numerous PBS characters. Eventually, Snake Man finds her and they begin escaping. Soon, they find a loose panel of stone.)
Snake Man - Well, here goes nothing.
(Snake Man pushes the block free and sniffs the air.)
Snake Man - Dare I ask why that block of 'stone' was actually a big hunk of cheese?
Metal Sonic EX - Don't ask.
(After some interesting crap happens, Roll gets in the pilot's seat of a spinning fighter plane.)
Roll - Die you poorly developed characters! -fires machine gun- Did I get him?
Snake Man - Well, you shot the hell out of a cactus.
Roll - Yay me!
(Soon, Snake Man gets his butt handed to him by Spring Man and Snake Man scurries away as Spring Man gets stuck on the plane's propeller.)
Spring Man - This really sucks!
(As Roll and Snake Man scurry off and Spring Man begins to spin around the propeller, the gas that has been leaking begins igniting.)
Spring Man - Oh shi… -BOOM!-
(Soon, Snake Man and Roll run into Hard Man.)
Hard Man - Sweep sheep-squeezers! You're alive! Just so you know, the ark has been loaded onto a truck.
Snake Man - Which one?
(Hard Man points to a truck that has a halo of light above it as 'Hallelujah' is heard.)
Snake Man - Oh, that one.
Roll - You'll need some transportation.
Snake Man - Already got some.
(As the truck drives off, Snake Man begins his pursuit on the back of a donkey. Soon, Snake Man hijacks the truck, runs over the donkey, and drives through a tree.)
Snake Man - That'll teach that ass who's boss!
(Snake Man continues driving through many more trees before going back onto the road. Soon, a villain soldier climbs along the side of the truck all the way to the passenger's side door. He points a gun at Snake Man and he draws his. However, the villain is holding his gun the wrong way and he ends up blowing his own brains out. Snake Man begins to put his gun back.)
Snake Man - Man, that guy was stupid. -shoots himself in the shoulder-
(Another villain climbs along the other side and knocks Snake Man onto the hood, Snake Man instinctively grabs the hood ornament, which is a monkey.)
Villain - Hey! Get your hand off of my monkey!
(Soon, the ornament breaks and Snake Man falls onto the grill and is pelted with bugs.)
Snake Man - Stupid bugs!
(Snake Man is then pelted with a raccoon.)
Snake Man - What the…
(Snake Man looks ahead and sees a moose in the middle of the road.)
Snake Man - Oh crap! -gets hit with moose-
(After regaining his composure and climbing along the bottom of the truck, Snake Man latches his whip onto the bottom of it and lets go. He is then dragged along with the truck.)
Snake Man - Wheeee!
After Snake Man knocks the villain onto the hood, he falls off and gets run over by the truck.)
Snake Man -Well, I guess he had that coming. -BUMP!- Eh, that old guy was already there.
(After escaping with the ark, him and Roll meet up with Hard Man and his foreign friend.)
Foreign Friend - Mr. Snake Man! You're appearance is just as I would've imagined it would be!
Roll - I'm Roll.
Foreign Friend - Oh, right. Mr. Snake Man…
Snake Man - Shove a turkey in it.
(Roll kisses Hard Man goodbye and then joins Snake Man on the boat as it begins to leave. Again, Hard Man begins singing.)
Hard Man - I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts! Dee da la dee! There they are! All standing in a row!
(On the boat, Roll and Snake Man are using a double-sided mirror. Roll is examining her new clothing on one and Snake Man is examining his cuts and bruises on the other. Suddenly, Roll notices a smudge on her side. So, she flips the mirror around, knocking Snake Man backwards and out of a porthole.)
Roll - Did you say something?
(After getting rescued, Snake Man begins complaining about his numerous cuts and bruises.)
Roll - Oh, come on! You've been shot, whipped, and dragged from behind a truck and now complaining? Honestly, you're on a one-way trip to Weenieland.
Snake Man - But it hurts weally bad!
(In the morning, Snake Man looks out of the window and sees an enemy submarine.)
Snake Man - Hey, Roll! Wake up! There's a submarine full of people coming to kill us. And put some lipstick on for God's sake!
(After the enemies board the ship and Roll is captured, another nameless idiot throws a cigarette into the pipe that Snake Man is hiding in. Unfortunately, it is thrown into his eye. He hisses instead of yelling to prevent anyone from discovering him.)
Snake Man - Damn that nameless idiot!
(After his, no pun intended, hissy-fit, Snake Man slides down the pipe and catches fire for no reason. However, he falls into the ocean shortly thereafter, putting the fire out. As he climbs onto the enemy submarine, he tries to make a card house to pass time, but to no avail. Once he infiltrates the enemy base, an enemy soldier comes over and begins to buff and wax Snake Man. He knees the soldier in the groin and mysteriously, all of his clothes fall onto Snake Man's body. He shrugs and continues onward. As he follows a convoy of enemy soldiers, Wily bends over and everyone behind him falls like dominoes.)
Snake Man - I feel bad for them.
(After discovering Snake Man, having Snake Man draw a bazooka on them, and one long and boring speech from Wily later, Snake Man scoffs.)
Snake Man - Whatever.
(Snake Man fires the bazooka, but instead of going forward, it destroys the mountains behind him.)
Snake Man - Slight miscalculation.
(After being captured and transported to the villains' base, Snake Man and Roll are tied to a giant statue of Wily.)
Roll - Talk about self-praising…
(The ark is opened and Tengu Man reaches inside to bring out…)
Tengu Man - Pornographic magazines? Interesting… (Oh! The next issue of Playboy is in here! Sweet!
(Suddenly, a boring part involving ghosts happen and Snake Man and Roll keep their eyes shut. Suddenly, Wily's head explodes and Tengu Man's mask melts off, only to reveal another underneath it. He looks around before slinking away. Cloud Man's face caves-in on itself and he inflates his head by blowing into his thumb. He too looks around before slinking away. Afterwards, all of the villains are sucked into the ark and the lid shuts. However, a hand reemerges from it, grabs a pornographic magazine and some Cheetos, and retreats back into the ark.)
Snake Man - Well, that was… Interesting…
(After going back at America, Snake Man, the random professor, Megaman, and one final nameless idiot are in a meeting.)
Nameless Idiot - The ark has incredible power and MUST be researched!
Snake Man - Well, if you want your face to melt off, be my guest! To be completely honest, I'd prefer you're face like that!
Nameless Idiot - I'm being serious here! This thing has immense power!
Snake Man - Me too! -farts-
(After emerging from the meetings room, Roll begins walking across he street.)
Roll - So, do you want to have a drink some… -gets hit by bus-
Snake Man - Well, that sucks.
(The scene changes to a warehouse with numerous boxes in it. A man is about to place a crate containing the ark in to it's new spot, but a box falls over and crushes him. Amusing, ain't it?)
How'd ya like it? Anyways, special thanks to Kinetikai for helping me come up with a lot of the gags from this parody. In the next chapter, I make another parody of Family Feud and my brother and I guest star. Trust me, I don't like my brother. So he's going to be doing a lot of stuff he wouldn't normally do. But, then again, he does yell 'Taco!' a lot, so I'll have fun with that. Anyways, Read and Review and I'll continue!